PLEASE HELP I think Allah has destined HELL for me

[adam445]

Asalaam u alaykum

May Allah reward whoever reads this and whoever tries to help.

I am a VERY VERY sinful person. In 2009, I thought i did shirk and became very fearful of it until 2011, where Shirk did actually happen. I also am very rude with my mother because of anger issues. I regularly swear, cause trouble with family.

I used to never pray namaaz or be close to my deen. However, A few weeks ago I made the jump to become closer to Allah and started praying 5 time. However theres a twist. A VERY huge twist.

Recently, I began to experience more shirk thoughts. I used to think in my mind The Undertaker was god (even though i fully know he isnt) and same with The Rock. That has stopped but replaces with other thoughts.

My huge problem started a few weeks ago. Brothers, I cannot say the first Kalima without feeling weird feeling in my stomach. It happens when I say Laa Illah Ha Illala Hu. I think I have doubts about the Kalima which NEVER used to happen. What does this mean? Has Allah now denied me the oath to being muslim? Is this a message?

My second HUGE HUGE problem is a dream I had of Allah being angry with me, because I committed shirk! I even think in the dream Allah swt curses me!

So can anyone please asnwer me, what can I do, I really feel Allah has a severe punishment for me, I am nearly crying as I type this. Can I not repent? Will Allah forgive me for doing accidental shirk or even shirk knowingly and my doubts I have that other gods also cease? Please help, I am almost also on the verge of killig myself. I suffer from frequent depression.

[Muhaba]

first of all you need to fiz your relationship with your mother. It may be that you are bad to her and are being punished. Also seek refuge with Allah against the shaytan. Insha-Allah Allah wll protect you if you try your best.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalamu alaikum


coming here and asking shows that you really do want to do the right thing.


bro im sure you know what that is, simply avoid what you know to be wrong :)