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Iceee
01-20-2013, 12:57 AM
Salaam.

Please don't laugh. I sent a resume in last month and alhumdulillah today I went to my first day of work... at McDonalds.
I learnt some safety procedures, customer service skills, cooking, dealing with problems etc.
Also, I got some practise at the back looking at other employees making burgers. Can't wait to start...

I am 18, attending high school, working both a online (full time) and now a part-time after-school job... The problem however is that my parents seem to think that I am now financially stable to getting married and starting a family.

My parents alhumdulillah got married at my current age in India and came to Canada a month later. Seems pretty crazy but they have been married almost 22 years. (Not sure how lol) Now they think it's my turn.

Why did I get a second job? I got a second job because I recently got my full G Drivers license which allows me to drive without another person in the car with me. Also, I can drive my little brother and his friends to places (annoying). Now I just want my OWN car; I have saved all money from Eid, baby-sitting job, online job, and I have close to $15,000 saved up. Gas and insurance costs a lot so I am still waiting for a car.

I still think I am too young and naive to get married. Might want to stay single and enjoy life more before it all changes. My parents want me to get married but I said after College/Uni MAYBE.


My question to you; I am financially stable especially since my Dad will pay for marriage and stuff. But I am too young to get married right? I live in Canada and I have NOOOO friends my age married. They all wait until after post-secondary (College/Uni). Is this a reason to wait until marriage also?
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Muslim Woman
01-20-2013, 03:15 AM
:wa:



in this modern world full of temptations , i think it's better to get married early - Of Course if u are matured enough and financially stable.

It does not matter if ur frineds are married are not . But if u want to study more and believe that u won't fall in to temptation , then tell parents to wait 2/3 years more.

U may also offer istekhara .
Reply

Ali_008
01-20-2013, 03:26 AM
:wasalamex

If you're going to get married in India as well then isn't the legal marriage for guys to get married over there 21?

I agree with what Sister Muslim Woman says. We live in a world filled with fitna, and thus it will be beneficial for you as soon as you get married. As you are secured with the money and all, I say go ahead. I got married when I was 21, and alhamdulillah the one and half year since have given me my best friend for life. Offer Istekhara.

If you don't want to get married then tell your parents to wait for a while. It is a blessing to have parents who are so bothered about their child's faith - I hope it is that way. ;D
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Iceee
01-20-2013, 03:39 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
:wa:



in this modern world full of temptations , i think it's better to get married early - Of Course if u are matured enough and financially stable.

It does not matter if ur frineds are married are not . But if u want to study more and believe that u won't fall in to temptation , then tell parents to wait 2/3 years more.

U may also offer istekhara .
Salaam.

What do you mean by temptations?

Might be embarrassing for my friends and anybody who knows me to see me getting married before Post-Secondary. My fear; People might talk behind my back saying I got married early for bad reasons etc.
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Iceee
01-20-2013, 03:49 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ali_008
:wasalamex

If you're going to get married in India as well then isn't the legal marriage for guys to get married over there 21?

I agree with what Sister Muslim Woman says. We live in a world filled with fitna, and thus it will be beneficial for you as soon as you get married. As you are secured with the money and all, I say go ahead. I got married when I was 21, and alhamdulillah the one and half year since have given me my best friend for life. Offer Istekhara.

If you don't want to get married then tell your parents to wait for a while. It is a blessing to have parents who are so bothered about their child's faith - I hope it is that way. ;D
Salaam.

Well, India was kind of corrupted back in the olde days... I think today India is alright and more people will follow legal laws but my parents were poor and so they just wanted to get out of there with one-another and come to Canada. Alhumdulillah with the help of Allah Subhanahuwatallah and their extreme faith in Islam, they found jobs in Canada and now they are really happy, never once did they want to go back to India. Of course, they also brought their whole family to Canada as well so yeah :statisfie

21 still in my opinion is a very young age to get married at no offence. Anyways, alhumdulillah on your marriage and I shall make duaa that your marriage continues on the right path inshallah.
My question; did you have a job when you got married?
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Innocent Soul
01-20-2013, 08:32 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
Please don't laugh. I sent a resume in last month and alhumdulillah today I went to my first day of work... at McDonalds.
There is nothing to laugh at. You should not feel shy while saying this. You are earning money through hard work and inshallah within a few months you will become self reliant. I think you should marry after studies so you will at least have some time to spend money on yourself and ask your parents to wait for a while and try to make them understand.
Reply

Ali_008
01-20-2013, 08:40 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
My question; did you have a job when you got married?
I had a job when my marriage was fixed. It was almost a year before the wedding. Later on, I quit that job, because I was more interested in starting my own business. I can't say that I have a flourishing business right now, but alhamdulillah things could have been much much worse .
Reply

Woodrow
01-20-2013, 09:49 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
Salaam.

Please don't laugh. I sent a resume in last month and alhumdulillah today I went to my first day of work... at McDonalds.
I learnt some safety procedures, customer service skills, cooking, dealing with problems etc.
Also, I got some practise at the back looking at other employees making burgers. Can't wait to start...

I am 18, attending high school, working both a online (full time) and now a part-time after-school job... The problem however is that my parents seem to think that I am now financially stable to getting married and starting a family.

My parents alhumdulillah got married at my current age in India and came to Canada a month later. Seems pretty crazy but they have been married almost 22 years. (Not sure how lol) Now they think it's my turn.

Why did I get a second job? I got a second job because I recently got my full G Drivers license which allows me to drive without another person in the car with me. Also, I can drive my little brother and his friends to places (annoying). Now I just want my OWN car; I have saved all money from Eid, baby-sitting job, online job, and I have close to $15,000 saved up. Gas and insurance costs a lot so I am still waiting for a car.

I still think I am too young and naive to get married. Might want to stay single and enjoy life more before it all changes. My parents want me to get married but I said after College/Uni MAYBE.


My question to you; I am financially stable especially since my Dad will pay for marriage and stuff. But I am too young to get married right? I live in Canada and I have NOOOO friends my age married. They all wait until after post-secondary (College/Uni). Is this a reason to wait until marriage also?
It is hard to tell when one is financially stable and able to support a family. I grew up during a very difficult era and it was still common for children to begin work. I had my first full time summer Job by the time I was 8 years old and had to help pay family expenses. By the time I was 18 I had about 10 years work experience but was neither financially nor emotionally ready for marriage, that did not come until I was 23 years old.

Readiness for marriage is not dependent upon any specific age it is very individual and has to be based upon needs and abilities. The errors to avoid are getting married too late or too early. Yet, somehow most people seem to know when they are ready for marriage.
Reply

Insaanah
01-20-2013, 10:56 AM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
Please don't laugh. I sent a resume in last month and alhumdulillah today I went to my first day of work... at McDonalds.
I learnt some safety procedures, customer service skills, cooking, dealing with problems etc.
Also, I got some practise at the back looking at other employees making burgers. Can't wait to start...
McDonalds sell McMuffins which contain sausages or bacon, McRib which contains pork, bacon cheeseburgers, ham bagels and other pig meat products. The other meat they sell, as far as I know, hasn't been slaughtered in a halaal manner.

Does your job involve handling/selling haraam meat? If so, you should try to find another job, and leave this job as soon as practicable, as it isn't a necessity for you as you already have one job plus money saved up, and there are other halaal jobs you could apply for, such as in clothing stores, hardware stores, etc where no handling/selling of haraam products is involved.

"… And whoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine…" [al-Talaaq 65:2]

May Allah make things easy for you and bless you with halaal income, ameen.
Reply

Iceee
01-20-2013, 03:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ali_008
I had a job when my marriage was fixed. It was almost a year before the wedding. Later on, I quit that job, because I was more interested in starting my own business. I can't say that I have a flourishing business right now, but alhamdulillah things could have been much much worse .
Salaam.

Fixed marriage for about a year? My parents haven't told me that... I think they want me to get to know the girl, then get married a few days later...

I love business, come to Canada, we can start a business together :) Lots of opportunities.
Reply

Iceee
01-20-2013, 03:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
It is hard to tell when one is financially stable and able to support a family. I grew up during a very difficult era and it was still common for children to begin work. I had my first full time summer Job by the time I was 8 years old and had to help pay family expenses. By the time I was 18 I had about 10 years work experience but was neither financially nor emotionally ready for marriage, that did not come until I was 23 years old.

Readiness for marriage is not dependent upon any specific age it is very individual and has to be based upon needs and abilities. The errors to avoid are getting married too late or too early. Yet, somehow most people seem to know when they are ready for marriage.
Salaam.

Ja'Zakullah for your reply to my thread. I feel really sad, never seen a 8 year old working. Legal working age in Canada is 14. I have heard that parents have kids so they can work young and help provide. Inshallah with all that hard work while you were young, your life gets easier.
Reply

Iceee
01-20-2013, 03:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Insaanah
:sl:



McDonalds sell McMuffins which contain sausages or bacon, McRib which contains pork, bacon cheeseburgers, ham bagels and other pig meat products. The other meat they sell, as far as I know, hasn't been slaughtered in a halaal manner.

Does your job involve handling/selling haraam meat? If so, you should try to find another job, and leave this job as soon as practicable, as it isn't a necessity for you as you already have one job plus money saved up, and there are other halaal jobs you could apply for, such as in clothing stores, hardware stores, etc where no handling/selling of haraam products is involved.

"… And whoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine…" [al-Talaaq 65:2]

May Allah make things easy for you and bless you with halaal income, ameen.
Salaam.

Yes, I have to work with haram foods. I don't eat them of course and I just serve it to customers.
Foods I have to handle; Bacon, Eggs, Cheddar Cheese, Sausage etc. Still have to get used to working there with all those foods.

That wasn't the question however.
Reply

Iceee
01-20-2013, 04:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Innocent Soul


There is nothing to laugh at. You should not feel shy while saying this. You are earning money through hard work and inshallah within a few months you will become self reliant. I think you should marry after studies so you will at least have some time to spend money on yourself and ask your parents to wait for a while and try to make them understand.
Salaam.

This is what I was thinking about, but maybe after studies, I should spend some time having fun before marriage.
That is alright right?
Reply

cottonrainbow
01-20-2013, 04:27 PM
Alahamduliah and congrats on your new job! This is a good time for you to save money and finish school in PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE. I believe that you can wait a few years to get married. If you get married too young and are not prepared (financially, emotionally, spiritually), it can become something that you will regret. After marriage comes babies and babies need lots of things. Some wives work, but many wives will absolutely not work, so it will be your duty to support a wife and a few babies on a McDonald's Salary and going to school. That can be tough and very stressful.

On the other hand, if you wait too long (Age 35+) to get married, you also make many mistakes because you have never been responsible for anyone but yourself. Then the wife will regret you for not being able to handle money matters and support a home properly.

But, Insha'Allah, Pray to Allah SWT for guidance and fast (NO zina), keep yourself busy with school, prayer, and work. Discuss with your parents how you'd like to wait a few years for marriage, and think about the type of sister that you'd like to marry.
Reply

Insaanah
01-20-2013, 04:39 PM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
I don't eat them of course and I just serve it to customers.
Foods I have to handle; Bacon, Eggs, Cheddar Cheese, Sausage etc. Still have to get used to working there with all those foods.

That wasn't the question however.
I appreciate that, but I guessed you didn't know, that in addition to eating haraam food, selling and serving haraam food is also not allowed, and the earnings from such a job, if not done out of necessity, or in ignorance, don't count as halaal earnings. In such a case, this outweighs the other questions in terms of importance. And if it's something that you might not know, it's our duty to inform you, as your fellow Muslims, because we are told that we are the best ummah raised up for mankind, because:

... You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.. (Qur'an 3:110)

..Help one another in goodness and piety.. (5:2)

Read these links answered by a scholar:

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/9941/selling%20pork

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/174687/serving%20pork

With regard to dead meat, alcohol and pork, the Muslims are unanimously agreed that it is haraam to sell all of these.
This hadeeth indicates that whatever we are forbidden to eat or make use of, we are also forbidden to sell, and it is not permissible to consume its price, as in the case of the animal fat mentioned in this hadeeth.
The conclusion we may draw from all these ahaadeeth is that whatever Allaah has forbidden us to make use of, it is also haraam to sell it and consume its price, as is stated clearly in the hadeeth: “When Allaah forbids a thing, He (also) forbids its price.”
The Standing Committee was asked: Is it permissible to deal in alcohol and pork if one is not selling them to a Muslim? They replied: It is not permissible to deal in foods and other things that Allaah has forbidden, such as alcohol and pork, even if one is selling them to kaafirs, because it is proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When Allaah forbids a thing, He also forbids its price.”
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/40651/selling%20pork

And Allah knows best.

:sl:
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Woodrow
01-20-2013, 06:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
Salaam.

Ja'Zakullah for your reply to my thread. I feel really sad, never seen a 8 year old working. Legal working age in Canada is 14. I have heard that parents have kids so they can work young and help provide. Inshallah with all that hard work while you were young, your life gets easier.
Ja'Zkullah for your concern. but that was a very long time back, in the 1940s while the world was involved in WW2 and shortly after.

My working years are now far in the past. I was very fortunate to have experienced the hardships of my childhood. I feel that Allaah(swt) had blessed me greatly and gave me the skills to handle the hardships of Adulthood and gave me the strength to live long enough to see my Grand Children and Great Grand Children.
Reply

Beardo
01-20-2013, 07:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
My question to you; I am financially stable especially since my Dad will pay for marriage and stuff. But I am too young to get married right? I live in Canada and I have NOOOO friends my age married. They all wait until after post-secondary (College/Uni). Is this a reason to wait until marriage also?
Your friends shouldn't be a measuring scale for yourself. Life is rather strange in a subjective way - it differs from person to person. I know people who got married at 17, and others at 30 - both couples happily married, masha-Allah.

If you think you're ready or that it can help you in this journey of life, then go for it! I mean, there's no harm (I suppose) in keeping an eye out for a potential wife.

Anyhow, definitely pray some Istakhara while you're at it, and insha-Allah, I have no doubt whatever happens will happen for the best.

By the way, I think it's amazing how hard-working you are and how your parents are also willing to support you. May Allah Ta'ala always bless you and keep you in prosperity, happiness, and success.
Reply

Iceee
01-20-2013, 09:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
Ja'Zkullah for your concern. but that was a very long time back, in the 1940s while the world was involved in WW2 and shortly after.

My working years are now far in the past. I was very fortunate to have experienced the hardships of my childhood. I feel that Allaah(swt) had blessed me greatly and gave me the skills to handle the hardships of Adulthood and gave me the strength to live long enough to see my Grand Children and Great Grand Children.
Salaam.

1940's! You're a legend on here and in the world. I hope the youngsters are respecting you... :) (I'm 18)

That is sooo what I think; Allah Subhanahuwatallah gave you a test in your early childhood life. You succeeded, and now you are gifted with Admin of this forum and also a long life. May Allah grant you great-great grandchildren :)

Stay online or we'll think something bad has happened :)
Reply

Iceee
01-20-2013, 09:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Beardo

Your friends shouldn't be a measuring scale for yourself. Life is rather strange in a subjective way - it differs from person to person. I know people who got married at 17, and others at 30 - both couples happily married, masha-Allah.

If you think you're ready or that it can help you in this journey of life, then go for it! I mean, there's no harm (I suppose) in keeping an eye out for a potential wife.

Anyhow, definitely pray some Istakhara while you're at it, and insha-Allah, I have no doubt whatever happens will happen for the best.

By the way, I think it's amazing how hard-working you are and how your parents are also willing to support you. May Allah Ta'ala always bless you and keep you in prosperity, happiness, and success.
Salaam.

Just finished my second day of work inshallah. Learnt a lot just like yesterday, can't wait to start.

Nobody who was born and raised in Canada (that I know) has gotten married at 17-30. They all wait until early 30's or late 30's. Inshallah I tend to do the same but need my parents approval for this. Still have to finish post-secondary, get an official full time job, and still have to have a lot more fun.

My parents support me because they want me to get married young, won't tell me why. Just say it is better...
I'm sure once I tell them about the wedding and expenses, they will want me to get married when I am older :)

I just want my own car.
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Ali_008
01-22-2013, 02:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Iceee
I love business, come to Canada, we can start a business together Lots of opportunities.
InshaAllah whenever I'm in Canada, I'll buzz you. Just pray that when I get to come there, I bring along a pretty capital as well inshaAllah.
Reply

Iceee
01-23-2013, 02:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ali_008
InshaAllah whenever I'm in Canada, I'll buzz you. Just pray that when I get to come there, I bring along a pretty capital as well inshaAllah.
Inshallah you get the opportunity to come here. (Don't come now if you get the chance, it's really cold.)
Inshallah you bring some money with you... for me :)

What type of business are you into?
I can get you a job at McDonalds also.
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