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anonymous
01-21-2013, 03:42 AM
As'salaamu alaikum,

I wanted to know what are my rights on my MIL and what are her rights over me. Does anyone have any islamic article or fatwa in englilhs or urdu, could be written or audio/video. Something to show it's not my job to take care of her and put up with her attitude.
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Muslim Woman
01-21-2013, 04:06 AM
:sl:




Poison Your Mother-In-Law With…



A long time ago, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law.



In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all.


Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks.

Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish.




All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing the poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.




Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.



Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you. Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.



Mr.Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs.
He told Li-Li, “You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious.



Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.




Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.




Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.




Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr.Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper,obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.




After six months had passed, the whole household had changed.



Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument in six months with her mother-in-law, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.





The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.




Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.




One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.




Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.




MORAL: Friends, have you ever realized that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? In China it is said: The person who loves others will also be loved.



Poison Your Mother-In-Law With… LOVE! :statisfie



http://islamforsisters.wordpress.com...w-with…/
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anonymous
01-21-2013, 04:17 AM
I'm not looking for fariytales. I"m pass all that point. I need practical answers and islamic info on the rights of each party.
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Muslim Woman
01-21-2013, 04:23 AM
:sl:





Question

Is it obligitory for the wife to care for her husbands mother and perform duties towards her? does a wife have the right to refuse her husbands mother moving in to their home permanantly?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad

is His slave and Messenger.

The scholars

stated that a husband is obliged to provide his wife with an accommodation where she is not harmed by anyone, be it her mother in-law or else. Therefore, if she refuses her mother in-law to live with her in her own house, she has the right to do so, especially if she is harmed by her mother in-law. However, if the husband wants to accommodate his mother in a section in his house which has separate amenities, then he may do so and the wife has no right to disapprove of this.


Generally, a wife should help her husband be dutiful to his mother, as this strengthens the marital relationship between her and him.


Allaah Knows best.

http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...twaId&Id=98962
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Muslim Woman
01-21-2013, 04:26 AM
:sl:



Fatwa Date : Rajab 16, 1423 / 23-9-2002 Question

Is it obligatory for a wife to look after her husband's parents?

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

A wife is not required to take care of her husband's parents, but doing favor to them constitutes a kind act and good turn to her husband.
However, if her husband orders her to take care of his parents, then it becomes her duty to obey him according to her ability and in good matters.
In addition, having a good relation with a husband's family is a form of good companionship that is required between spouses.
No doubt when the wife is dutiful to her husband's parents, she gains her husband's high regard and esteem.
Allah knows best.


PrintSend this fatwa to friend






http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...ang=E&Id=84909
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Alpha Dude
01-21-2013, 07:50 AM
Wa alaykum salam,

I understand your predicament and assume you must find it really tough, based on your tone and attitude but I believe what you intend to do is going to achieve the opposite of what you desire.

You'll find some fatwa here or there and slap it in her face and show her what's right and wrong and the result of that will be her seeing you more negatively than she already does. She will assume you are being disrespectful. Allah knows best but that is how I see it going down.

Be patient, be tolerant, make plenty of dua, talk to your husband, talk to your father in law and your mother in law in a respectful manner. InshaAllah things improve but remember that marriage is half the iman for a reason, there is a lot of reward due to patience during conflicts and the fact that a husband or wife at times needs to break his/her own ego to keep things calm. Try not to go in guns blazing. That is likely to backfire.
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Ali_008
01-21-2013, 08:34 AM
:wasalamex

In most cases, this comes as a bitter truth, and something nobody ever wants to acknowledge, but in Islam the in laws have no rights upon the wife. The wife is obliged to be dutiful and obedient to her husband. Not the mother-in-law, not the father-in-law, not the sister-in-law, nobody has authority over the wife except the husband. Like I said, in most cases, this thing is not acknowledged because the exploitation is beyond measure. Yet, you have to treat everyone with kindness because that's what Islam teaches us. Even if someone doesn't have any rights over you, they have to treated kindly, more so case when they are elders.

If the in-laws had any rights then the same thing should be applicable to the guy's side as well, but generally we don't see that, do we?

I've seen that Chinese tale before which sister Muslim Woman posted. I don't agree with it either. I think all kinds of animosities can be dissolved except the one which lies between the daughter in law and the mother in law. It is, quite simply, a battle of jealousy between the two.

For scholarly opinion regarding this issue, refer to the following links:
To what extent can the husband’s relatives interfere in his wife’s life?
The husband's father and mother have no authority over their son’s wife
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