format_quote Originally Posted by
Alpha Dude
Wa alaykum salam,
Negativity begets negativity. I know it's difficult but if every time you are around her you feel negative, you will get the same and more back from her.
So, I think on your part, you should always be a beacon of goodwill and peace and take that to her whenever you are around her, regardless of how she behaves with you.
Try to be patient when she launches on a tirade. Sometimes silence is the best answer to ignorance. If she says something that is bad ignore and turn your face from her.
I think it would be good if she got married and moved away from home. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, usually. If she is away from home for some time, she may change inshaAllah. Try to take whatever step you can to get her married.
Don't underestimate dua. In fact, I think it's one of the best things you can do for her and your family.
Salams...
Now that's the problem because my parents fear how she will behave with another person and how she will treat that person. Also despite her age, (I don't mean to be cynical) but she doesn't clean/help clean the house, doesn't help make food, doesn't cook, does not contribute any money; basically eats, sleeps, watches TV, goes to work and boards at home and stirs up trouble whenever she can (daily). Like I mentioned what happened yesterday in another forum, I'll quote it below:
Was sleeping peacefully (about 2 hours ago), slept quite late planned to sleep in. Unfortunately I did not wake up to the birds chirping or dead silence, but yelling from the living room. Right from the time I woke up my mood was ruined. I went out to go and check what was going on, sister again going all crazy at my mother. Apparently this is what happened, my sister was on facebook on the main computer, and showed my mother something which in turn my mother responded saying don't worry about them focus on yourself. And that lead to further screaming and shouting, my sister talking screaming about cousins and what trashbags they are, my mother saying show respect etc, then what I heard when I woke up "if you can't treat me properly, how are you going to treat your MIL?" My sister started saying there's a jinn in my mother, that shes deeply affected (see always her advice works for herself), anyway's she said why do you treat me like crap and not the two brothers (me), when all my mother said was don't worry about the other cousins. Sister left the house, donno where she went and don't really care atm. My mother bursted out into tears...
I was just there standing in the middle ready to mediate if it got physical but wallah my blood was boiling; you don't know how many times I have considered teaching my sister a lesson, just giving her like one in the face (no I'm not a violent person and don't condone violence) but who's going to teach her something? Maybe one day I will completely lose it and my family will see a whole new person come out...
Most people say she has a Jinn in her and should get treatment for that, but that would be extremely difficult to do because we don't have a person like that in our area (muslim community where I live is small) and she won't want to seek help; she will mostly react by saying something like "I don't have a problem, you have a problem"
:/