Hey people

[Keels]

Hi my name is Keeley I am 20 indeed of help!!

[May Ayob]

Hi keeley, welcome to IslamicBoard. :)

What is it that you need help with? I'll be glad to if I can.

Peace be with you.

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/ Peace


Welcome here. How can we help u ?

[Keels]

I'm english and have a kurdish boyfriend and need some advice of what we should both do

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[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/ Peace


if he is a Muslim , he is not allowed to marry any atheist lady .

IF u have any questions about Islam , feel free to ask .

[Keels]

Even if I do accept and respect his religion and decide to convert later on ?

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam /Peace


u don't know how long u will live and if get a chance to convert ' later ' .

So , read Quran and feel free to ask questions .

And the main point is mixing before marriage is not allowed in Islam .

[Keels]

Well I still don't know what I need to do cos he isn't proper muslim has only thing he does is not eat pork would I have to convert if we was to live together because I'm 32 weeks pregnant with his son...

[May Ayob]

Try to focus on reading about Islam, so that you can decide what you want to do. Although, if I may ask, is there any possibility that he's not intending to marry you or something? I don't know I'm sorry; maybe you should discuss this with him. But generally he can't really marry an atheist. And pardon my rudeness but are you sure that he is serious? Sorry if that sounded harsh there's a feeling of unease I have I don't know how to point at it. I hope you deliver your son safely.

[Keels]

He did want to marry me as soon as we found out I was pregnant but I kept saying I don't know because I didnt know anything about his religion or family so after that he put it off for a bit and as far as I'm aware he's serious about us otherwise we wouldn't be still together after nearly 10 months he crys to me everyday for past 4 nights of a break while he thinks and even talking about ending his life

[May Ayob]

I think he should consult and Imam at the local Masjid. Maybe you should meet his family. May God help you both.

[Keels]

He doesn't talk much to his family has they live in Kurdistan and he lives in uk and also don't know any of his language

[May Ayob]

Sorry, I forgot to ask; why does he cry? Does it have to do with this?. I guess if his family is living away from you then it would be hard to know about them. What about your expected child? What is he planning to do?. May God arrange your and his affairs in the best possible way.

[Keels]

He crys cos he says he doesn't want to lose me and our unborn child and says this love is rong he wants to stay and support our baby and me

[May Ayob]

Well then, maybe you'll have to do some very serious thinking on your part about becoming muslim; I think this would solve most of the problems that you're facing right now but God knows best.

[Keels]

Though I don't know if he,d stay till I did convert so that we could marry :( his parents do keep ringing him and asking if he found someone to marry yet but he tells them no as he is scared to say anything that I am athiest I'm not sure has he doesn't talk about them

[May Ayob]

Cheer up, things will be okay, please don't be sad. He doesn't have to tell them that you're currently an atheist just yet. But if you really do want to get married then you should start to seriously consider becoming muslim as he's only allowed to marry either a muslim,christian or a jew.

[Keels]

But if he could ask them if they would give him their blessing it would make more likely to consider islam as then I would know if they would take him away and make him marry proper way

[May Ayob]

I think in Islam a man can marry without the consent of his parents. Unless he is heavily influenced by his cultural background, it can't really be considered a factor that would hinder his marriage to you. But why do they have to know you're an atheist arent you going to plan to become muslim as well?

[Keels]

Ye I would consider it but if I did do all of it etc and then tell his family they might not like it afterwards..

[May Ayob]

If you became a muslim and got married then you're worried about them being upset when they find out you were previously an atheist? Is that what you're trying to say? I honestly don't know why you insist on having them know. You know... they don't have to know about that, besides when you become muslim your past history is over gone and erased. Why bring it up again? both of you should agree on not telling them you were an atheist as they don't need to know that and it probably wont be at your best interest anyway, and there are some personal things that frankly shouldn't be disclosed to everyone especially in this case where in you know that his parents maybe critical of you if they knew you were an atheist before. They also can't hold it against you anyway because you would be muslim then, and if they did they would be at wrong for doing so. Don't worry and have better expectations maybe they'll end up liking you very much especially when they see their little baby grandson.---that would ofcourse be in the scenario of you being muslim

[Keels]

But how do I get my boyfriend to stay with me if he says he loves me ATM hes very confused what he should do

[May Ayob]

I don't know, but why would he plan on leaving you after finding out you are expecting a child? I hope he isn't that type of person... Would he still leave you if you become a muslim? May God help you sis, I really do hope everything turns out well.

[Keels]

His brother has only just found out I'm pregnant which he works with everyday and maybe he's told him to leave me because my he's told me that his brother told him to leave his ex and move out of the city and also I doubt he would leave me if I turned muslim has it wouldn't be haram then