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Sparda
02-15-2013, 03:26 PM
Salamu alaykom brothers and sisters

i have a few questions i want to ask if any one would be kind enough to answer, first of all i may e due to get married this year inshallah but have yet to see the girl......as love marriages never bode well compared to arrange marriage in some peoples cases.
what do i see in the girl first, not appearances and so on but if she reads namaz ect...
we will be nervous meeting as i know but this may be good and bad but as now in the west of the UK people kind of choose appearance and so on, many of the muslim girls are becoming corrupt same with men as they have flashy cars, drink booze, smoke shisha. My sisters also smoke shisha as they say nothing wrong but its haram for sure due to the actualplant itself can kill instantly but is made from extracts from that certain plant.

What about internal strife, asi doi not speak to my 3 brothers as they follow haraam, quick story short, my oldedr brother drank sharab, i did not read namaz and one day hit my small bro, which i regretted, now that bro has got my 2 smaller bros against me, they do not talk to me and backbite (swear at me and call me names) 2 years onand they still do that, mashallah i finally am reading namaz as its easy to lose influence due to the shaytaan. I do not think i can evr talk t them any time soon as they do not read namaz and wont speak to me. Inshallah i ask allah to reunite us but i heard Allah closes the hearts of those he will send straight to hell. plus due to that i suffer from sleep and get deprived as i currently do not have my room, i need to sleep in same room as 2 small bros and wall is thin and can hear my older bro and his wife talk all night ( sometimes need to get up at 6am with 4 hours sleep) that has affected me badly and still continues wel i am 23 after all but it is hard i cannot read fajar namaz as well as i really want to but lack of sleep is frustrating.


Also another question, at my part time job i wanted to read namaz but the supervisor did not let me as he said go on my break, i did not get the break untill 5pm and missed my asr namaz which left me angry and aggitated, its because they think i will take 30mins as they said i did that on zohur namaz which was like 20min, other people get to read with ease now i find it hard to ask incase they make crap up again. they are all people back from home (pakistan) am am born in the uk and work there as i am but a few people who are english fluent and read namaz. i am truly ashamed to work there and get angry now cuz people treat you bad, i mean customers, they say hurry up this and that, its a cash and carry where i work :( its cuzthe staff shout at people and tell them to hurry (look customer customer hurry and grab the trolley) OMG unbelievable when did customers get treated like there special people. The people consists 95% muslim staff and customers as well and i really dislike it as people say oooh why are you working hear when its for freshy people or teapots back at hom,e or this is an idiots job. The bosses are corrupt and are sure to recieve ALLLAH swt puinishment.

Please help its a dire situation i am trying to get out but there and no job prospects and hard to even get in one now.
Please advise on each of the questions
thank you so much
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May Ayob
02-16-2013, 06:25 PM
Please brothers and sisters help Jzakum Allahu khair.
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Sparda
02-17-2013, 09:55 PM
can anyone help?
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Tyrion
02-18-2013, 12:26 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sparda
i have a few questions i want to ask if any one would be kind enough to answer, first of all i may e due to get married this year inshallah but have yet to see the girl......as love marriages never bode well compared to arrange marriage in some peoples cases.
Uhm... I hope I'm not the only one who sees this as a terrible idea. Why are you due to get married without having seen this girl?


format_quote Originally Posted by Sparda
What about internal strife, asi doi not speak to my 3 brothers as they follow haraam
Correct me if I'm wrong, but cutting off relations with family because they're not as religious as you isn't exactly the way to go. In fact, I'd say there's a chance that the distance between you is caused in part by their possible perception of you as self righteous, which believe me, can turn off a lot of people really quick.

format_quote Originally Posted by Sparda
Also another question, at my part time job i wanted to read namaz but the supervisor did not let me as he said go on my break, i did not get the break untill 5pm and missed my asr namaz which left me angry and aggitated, its because they think i will take 30mins as they said i did that on zohur namaz which was like 20min,
Prayer doesn't have to take 20 minutes... Try asking them again, and say that you'll try and make it quick so that you aren't taking up too much work time. In the worst case scenario, they won't let you pray and you can make up any missed prayers as soon as you can. You can also quit, but I'm not sure how good of a move that is for you.


format_quote Originally Posted by Sparda
its cuzthe staff shout at people and tell them to hurry (look customer customer hurry and grab the trolley) OMG unbelievable when did customers get treated like there special people.
Hah... You haven't worked much, have you? Admittedly, neither have I, but even my short stint in retail was enough to prove that in a business, customers are the priority. Not you.

format_quote Originally Posted by Sparda
The bosses are corrupt and are sure to recieve ALLLAH swt puinishment.
That may be true, but you can't possibly know that so it may be best to stay quiet in regards to that.

My overall advice would be to first take a good hard look at yourself and try to make some improvements, especially concerning your relationships with your family and your marriage plans. As far as your job goes, if it's really that unpleasant for you, I say you should look elsewhere. If that's really not an option, then I feel like the problems you mentioned weren't really that bad, so you may just want to learn how to deal with them for a while until more opportunities become available. Also, all this talk of corruption and God's punishment might be an indication that you need to chill out.
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