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anonymous
02-23-2013, 07:06 AM
i feel as if this is the case. more than 80% guys growing up here will be addicted to pornography. If you grew up in a western country and haven't been addicted to pornography or masturbation, please tell me how you think you stayed away from it
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Qurratul Ayn
02-23-2013, 07:38 PM
:salamext:

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
more than 80% guys growing up here will be addicted to pornography.
Where did you get the fact from and of which country?

Read Salaah, five times a day. Make sincere and heartfelt Du'a to :Allah::swt: all the time

Always read;



I seek refuge in :Allah: from Shaytaan, the accursed one



Don't follow the crowd, don't be a sheep. Also, don't be pressurised or go to that low level, stay away from the people who do these things, go to the Masjid, interact with other fellow Muslims there, it will help

Be strong and have the courage and determination not to fall into that type of degradation.

Place the utmost faith and trust into :Allah::swt:

:ia: at least a little bit helped

:salamext:
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~Zaria~
02-23-2013, 08:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
i feel as if this is the case. more than 80% guys growing up here will be addicted to pornography. If you grew up in a western country and haven't been addicted to pornography or masturbation, please tell me how you think you stayed away from it

Assalamu-alaikum,

As access to pornographic material is most easily accessible via the net, the most practical solution would be for us to limit the time we spend on-line.

If we have to be really honest with ourselves, many of us will admit that we spend far too much time on-line than need be.

Apart from information that is required for our deen/ studies/ work/ keeping in contact with family and close friends and staying abreast of news/ world events, why is it that we find our youth (in particular) almost 'addicted' to this virtual world?

Is the real world no longer good enough?

Our lives have become so controlled by technology, that we cannot even find peace in public spaces.
e.g. Is it really necessary for restuarants, coffee shops, etc to be wi-fi enabled?
Is it no longer possible to take a ride in a car/ train - and just quietly admire as nature passes by, and remember and give praise to the Creator of it all?
Can we no longer have a meal - without someone checking their email and sms alerts?

No doubt, the internet is one of Shaytaans modern-day weapons against mankind.

While we cannot deny the great benefits that have resulted from it (SubhanAllah), anything that tilts the scales towards excess can only be harmful towards our imaans.

The typical scenario is one who is idly surfing the net (for nothing in particular), and so comes across suggestive advertising - Shaytaans bait for one whose taqwa (consciousness of Allah) is low.
It just takes one click of the button to be 'hooked'.

If, at that very moment in time, we can remind ourselves - 'My Allah is watching - that very Allah who has blessed me with these eyes, that I am about to use against Him!' - how will we continue in this regard?
(Perhaps one can even stick a reminder onto your computer/ laptop/ phone that says: 'Allah is watching me' (or an ayat that would instill fear and shame into your heart at the very thought of transgressing His commands).

An idle mind is the devils workshop.
So whenever you find yourself 'bored'/ 'nothing to do' - try your best not to log onto this virtual world.

Make wudhu, and offer nafl/ qada (missed) salaah.
Engage in zikr.
Read Quraan.

And try to keep in company of others as much as is possible (we are often the weakest/ the most vulnerable to the whispers of Shaytaan and our nafs when we are alone).

There are many other threads on this forum that provides beneficial advise in this regard. Insha Allah, read through these as well.

And finally - how long are we going to lament over the things that we can see, are destroying our ummah?
Its time for us to become part of the solution, not the problem.
Start a petition calling for tighter regulations on this type of material in your state/ country....
Create a group to champion this cause....

Lets DO something.
Even if we fail......at least we can say, we had tried!


:wa:
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anonymous
02-24-2013, 08:20 AM
The 80% is an estimate, it has become a complete norm and this norm is affecting the muslim youth.this addiction has the power to destroy your imaan again and again. Nice post zaria very helpful stuff in there but I am asking for a prevention from pornography not a cure. How did those people who haven't been addicted to such filth protect themselves? This is an important question as we need to save the muslim youth. Believe me this addiction is destroying the imaan of young boys growing up in the west.

I have one suggestion, install software that block such sites completely. please list more ideas jazakallahu khair
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~Zaria~
02-24-2013, 09:38 AM
^ Assalamu-alaikum,

I view limiting on-line time, keeping in the company of others (i.e. limiting the time spent in solitude), etc as a prevention as well as a potential cure, insha Allah.

e.g. If one has to spend a lot of time in a bar/ pub - and then say to himself: My imaan is strong; I can ward away the temptations that I am surrounded by - how successful do we imagine him to be?
(this is not the best comparison, as there is much good that we can derive from the internet if we use it correctly (while there is no good that can be derived from spending time in a bar), but insha Allah, it is to make the point: that we cannot continue exposing our senses to the fitnahs of our society - on a daily basis - and then wonder why it is so hard to protect ourselves from it).

The fact is, our kids and youth spend more time on social media, than in using the internet for benefit.

There are very few parents who monitor their kids on-line usage - how much time is spent on it, and what sites are being visited.

Until our countries decide to enforce laws that make access to this type of content very difficult (by means of bans and other forms of curtailments), then we are fighting a very difficult battle.

There was a time when only the rich could afford cell-phones that provided internet access, etc.
Now, it is almost impossible to find a phone that does not have internet access.
Which means that KIDS have access to every type of filth that exists, at any time and without any effort.

Most parents dont even consider placing software that blocks such sites on the kids devices - either out of ignorance or the expectation that their child would be able to ward himself from such evils.
How can this be possible when families sit together watching TV programmes filled with zina and immorality? When so many families dont even read salaah together? Or open the Quraan with their kids?
SubhanAllah, this is a fools paradise!

The best that we can do is to protect ourselves and our immediate families by implementing the above in our OWN lives.
And strengthening our imaan from within our families.

There is no greater deterrent to sin than taqwa.

Our problem is that this^ is severely lacking.


:wa:
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Qurratul Ayn
02-24-2013, 10:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
please list more ideas jazakallahu khair
format_quote Originally Posted by Qurratul Ayn
Read Salaah, five times a day. Make sincere and heartfelt Du'a to all the time

Always read;



I seek refuge in from Shaytaan, the accursed one


Don't follow the crowd, don't be a sheep. Also, don't be pressurised or go to that low level, stay away from the people who do these things, go to the Masjid, interact with other fellow Muslims there, it will help
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
As access to pornographic material is most easily accessible via the net, the most practical solution would be for us to limit the time we spend on-line.
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
So whenever you find yourself 'bored'/ 'nothing to do' - try your best not to log onto this virtual world.

Make wudhu, and offer nafl/ qada (missed) salaah.
Engage in zikr.
Read Quraan.
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
Start a petition calling for tighter regulations on this type of material in your state/ country....
Create a group to champion this cause....
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
I view limiting on-line time, keeping in the company of others (i.e. limiting the time spent in solitude), etc as a prevention as well as a potential cure, insha Allah.
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
The best that we can do is to protect ourselves and our immediate families by implementing the above in our OWN lives.
Exactly, there are your suggestions along with the above posts too. Back to basics.

format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
Until our countries decide to enforce laws that make access to this type of content very difficult (by means of bans and other forms of curtailments), then we are fighting a very difficult battle.
:ia: they shall begin too soon. Although doubt is high, as this is a disgustingly lucrative business, unfortunately. People of power benefit from this too, therefore as you have written my dear Sister ~Zaria~, we are fighting a very difficult battle and there's a high probability of it being a looonnnggg one too.
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ardianto
02-24-2013, 11:43 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
I am asking for a prevention from pornography not a cure. How did those people who haven't been addicted to such filth protect themselves? This is an important question as we need to save the muslim youth. Believe me this addiction is destroying the imaan of young boys growing up in the west.
Assalamualaikum,

are you a mother who have boy(s)?.
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Innocent Soul
02-24-2013, 01:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~
Until our countries decide to enforce laws that make access to this type of content very difficult (by means of bans and other forms of curtailments), then we are fighting a very difficult battle.
Some people who get addicted don't even feel its fatal. I really feel that this law has to be made in the whole world not only Islamic countries but others our brothers in humanity are really getting affected.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
How did those people who haven't been addicted to such filth protect themselves?
Even if you don't watch it or people try to protect themselves from getting in to this there are many ways some people are trying to get profit out of these and trying to attract people through ads. The ads keep popping and you have to go on refreshing the pages. We can install ad blockers to stop this and its of great help I always use it. You can just stop yourself or your children from watching tv but it doesn't solve the problem at least the ad makers can stop showing ads with excessive immorality.

format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
you grew up in a western country
Everything that starts in the west and is spread to the whole world now its not just the problem of people living in the west its the problem of the whole world. Its so easy to watch porn you have so many options and no one is going to catch you. Whatever you have to do and not to do is your own choice.

Every child should be taught how to deal with peer pressure and keep good company, choose friends wisely and believe in yourself and consciousness that Allah is watching you always.
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anonymous
02-25-2013, 08:43 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
Assalamualaikum,

are you a mother who have boy(s)?.
No im a guy whos been battling this addiction and have seen how prevalent and normal it has become muslim and non muslim males here. We cant keep saying its a kuffar problem coz its not, it doesnt discriminate. I have thought of myself growing up and concluded that I would have been addicted sooner or later to this.

Please reply as an anonymous if you suffer from this and this has ruined your life.
Reply

ardianto
02-25-2013, 04:23 PM
Addicted means: want again, want again, want again. Not every guy who ever watched porn addicted by porn. Only those who can not eliminate porn from their minds who will addicted by porn. And they cannot eliminate porn from their minds because they let their minds empty.

So, bro, fill your minds with other things.

Do you have hobby?. It's better if you active in your hobby with targeting an achievement. In example, if you like basketball, think how to make amazing dunk, or good dribble. I was active in my hobby, and it's really help me to prevent porn entering my mind.

Think other things in your minds. Have a plan for something good or something funny, everyday.

Also notice with who you be friend. Avoid friends who addicted by porn. Choose other friends who have positive activities.

One again. Do not see women as sexual object. If you see women as sexual object, so when you see a woman, your mind will imagine her in sexy poses that will make you run to porn again. Start to respect women as those who give birth the human being.
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Qurratul Ayn
02-25-2013, 06:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
No im a guy whos been battling this addiction and have seen how prevalent and normal it has become muslim and non muslim males here. We cant keep saying its a kuffar problem coz its not, it doesnt discriminate. I have thought of myself growing up and concluded that I would have been addicted sooner or later to this.
One more suggestion; Marriage
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~Zaria~
02-27-2013, 04:31 PM
Assalamu-alaikum

Brother Cabdullahi has asked me to post the following advice:

tell the original poster to prepare himself for an internet free life...Imagine an alcoholic living in a bar....with infinite amount of drinks, infinte amount of volume and types of taste.
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~Zaria~
02-27-2013, 04:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
No im a guy whos been battling this addiction and have seen how prevalent and normal it has become muslim and non muslim males here. We cant keep saying its a kuffar problem coz its not, it doesnt discriminate. I have thought of myself growing up and concluded that I would have been addicted sooner or later to this.

Please reply as an anonymous if you suffer from this and this has ruined your life.
Akhee, your post reminded me of a speech of the late, beloved Ml Yunus Patel (ra):

An extract:

" Allah Taalá gave us the himmat (determination), but we dont want to use it....

Ask that same person who says 'Addicted' - if someone where to put a gun to his head, and says now I want to see how addicted you are! Take that drug now - I want to see how addicted you are!
Or, raise your gaze and cast lustful glances now, and I'll blow your head - then see how addicted you are.

Or the person is watching haraam on the television, and suddenly, Allah Taa'la forbid, some burglars/ murders enter that house - will that person say:
'Hold on bhai, Im addicted to this movie......let me finish up first and then afterwards you can talk.'

Why is it that suddenly everyone wants to read the wazeefah: 'Haameem laa yunsáaroon' (duaa for protection)......and 'Ya Allah', 'Ya Raheem', 'Ya Allah, save us; we wont do this again'.....that person wont even remember what he was watching then.

So, himmat (endeavour, determination) is there.....if we want to give up.

But if we dont want to give up, nobody can make us give up."
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