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View Full Version : What to do? Friends... :/



unknown12
02-25-2013, 07:57 AM
Salams everybody,

Just had my first day @ Uni alhamdulillah went well... Unfortunately didn't meet/see many Muslims, just met one Muslim. I made a few new friends, but they've already starting talking about house parties and what not... Like it's to have a conversation with them cas they were talking about like partying, clubbing and drinking... It was disgusting with one of my Muslim friends; we were given lunch (free pizza), I just grabbed a vegetarian and my muslim friend grabbed a slice of a bacon supreme pizza (he's from Indonesia), I told him it has bacon in we can't eat that, he's like nah he doesn't know what's in it should be okay... This same guy is talking about going out on Saturday night to the clubs... What do I do in this situation?

Ofcourse I'm not going to involve myself in any haram such as this, I'll have to definitely avoid these new friends of mine and keep contact to a minimum... What should I say/reply if they say e.g. wanna go out clubbing/drinking? Should I just say no sorry I can't, religious reasons, but even my muslim friend will probably end up going out with them...

Doesn't look like a good start to uni atm.. I thought the person looked like a decent Muslim, turns out he isn't. (I shouldn't be too judging tho); he is an international student, just him living alone without parents...

Jazakallah Khair.
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Al-Mufarridun
02-25-2013, 10:54 AM
:sl: bro

One of the most important things that will determine your success in University is the individuals you befriend. So it is vital that part of your plan at the start is to find the right friends, Alhamdulilah, it is wonderful that you are thinking about this.

Take your time and try to find other good Muslims who are also looking for what you are. These days it seems we label anybody we meet once as a 'friend'. Try to not fall into that, unless you are sure you want to take someone as a friend, refer to them as 'people i know', because it is difficult to say no to a friend. A friend is someone who you can trust, someone who wants the best for you, someone you pick, sort of like a 'brother by choice'.

If these new students that you met invite you to things that are haram, then just tell them that is not you. That is not the life for you. Be firm and confident on your principles Insha'Allah, those that are decent and proper will respect you more for that, and those that are not will not be able to influence you.

Best wishes to you bro, and May Allah swt guide you to what is best for your Aakhirah and Dunya. Ameen
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Muslim Woman
02-25-2013, 02:18 PM
:wa:

as bro suggested - take ur time to find ' real ' friends . Avoid those who invite u to haram acts .
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unknown12
02-25-2013, 02:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al-Mufarridun
:sl: bro

One of the most important things that will determine your success in University is the individuals you befriend. So it is vital that part of your plan at the start is to find the right friends, Alhamdulilah, it is wonderful that you are thinking about this.

Take your time and try to find other good Muslims who are also looking for what you are. These days it seems we label anybody we meet once as a 'friend'. Try to not fall into that, unless you are sure you want to take someone as a friend, refer to them as 'people i know', because it is difficult to say no to a friend. A friend is someone who you can trust, someone who wants the best for you, someone you pick, sort of like a 'brother by choice'.

If these new students that you met invite you to things that are haram, then just tell them that is not you. That is not the life for you. Be firm and confident on your principles Insha'Allah, those that are decent and proper will respect you more for that, and those that are not will not be able to influence you.

Best wishes to you bro, and May Allah swt guide you to what is best for your Aakhirah and Dunya. Ameen
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
:wa:

as bro suggested - take ur time to find ' real ' friends . Avoid those who invite u to haram acts .
Okay inshallah Jazakallah Khair... Yeh that's also true about them not being my 'friends', just met and spoke to them.. I realise now I shouldn't have given them my mobile number too... We'll I just won't answer/respond to their calls/txt if they do send any inshallah...
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joyous fairy
02-26-2013, 05:46 PM
Walaykum Salam,

Have a look to see if your uni has an ISOC or MSA. You will inshaAllah find lots of Muslims there.

Also I dont think you have to completely not talk to non-Muslims, it can be good in some ways as you can give Dawah to them and show them what Muslims are really like, just dont do things that are haram. When I was at uni there were no Muslim girls on my course but a lot of the time we had to do groupwork, so I ended up having to talk to them anyway. They werent all bad and the few girls I did get to know were actually quite nice and didnt go clubbing as often as others, also some of them knew that Muslims dont do stuff like that so they never used to ask me.
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Periwinkle18
02-26-2013, 05:51 PM
ive learnt tht its better to stay alone then hav bad friends.

trust me akhi u hang around with such ppl for long you'll want to b like them shaitan does tht.

company matter alot stay with good ppl. pray to Allah to send someone good for you.
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unknown12
02-27-2013, 01:05 PM
Yeah Inshallah, I've come to the conclusion that I'll try and be as upfront as possible and if all fails I'll have to 'lie' my way out of situations, e.g. I've got work tonight... I've got guests coming over etc.. lol. But yeah these are just people I met who want to be friends, and friends will actually be understanding and force you to do something...

Make dua for me inshallah, I'm sure this has happened to most people, I just have to be patient.

I couldn't find the Muslim Association @ my uni, I should have asked around... We had like 'clubs' today, and I never saw a 'muslim'/'islam' stall, but saw 3 stalls for christianity and another for the Jewish faith, it was sad not seeing one for muslims :/ as they were giving out free bibles and what not...

However it was reassuring seeing quite a few muslims; I couldn't quite make out male muslims, but I saw plenty of sisters wearing the hijabs...
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