(Only for Bros) - I need urgend help!

[anonymous]

:sl:

unfortunately I have to write hear, because of a problem what I have been for many years. It is very difficult to explain that in public, because that are very personal matters. And to explain that to every one is very unpleasant so I request to delete this topic, after we get inshaAllah a solution. I know that perhaps many other brothers can profit, when they have the same matter. But it is really unpleasant for me. And I will try to speak directly, please forgive me for that.

It is a topic which is discussed in every forum and has a lot of topics, it is concerning masturbation. I am addicted to this sin since more than 10 years. I have been starting to do that when I was very young, and had no idea about Islam. But I have been trying to stop it for many years. I tried it before I came (start to 'practice') to Islam (I am not a convert) but could not stop it. I am trying it since I am 'practicing', but I can not manage it for longer than two or three weeks. That is really frustrating. Main problem is, it destroys my morality and my iman. I have had a long time where I thought that I am a kafeer (auzubillah) although I know that I men does not become a Muslim due to sins.

That has a lot of affect to my real life. I want to learn (din and other things) but I do not have 'energy' to do it, because of thinking always to the one thing. It is horrible, sometimes I do not have any desire, alhamdullah, but then it overcomes me again. I am actually lowering my gaze, in real world, but when I am at home, it is pretty difficult to lower gazes in the virtual world. It feels different than real world. In real world I have shame so for instance I am not able to perform zinaa. But I am unable to manage it. I have to fear Allah, but if this desire overcomes me, I forget, I feel that my heart is not in memory to Allah. The urge to do it is to high and even if I manage it, I do not manage it for long time, maybe hours, maybe few days. I am trying to learn and to internalize what it Islam. Who is Allah. But I was not able to be strong enough. Not for a long time. Even as I prayed, for a time I did not had internet but I found other ways to get haram movies. But I took shower and prayed nevertheless but a time came where my heard was to damaged so I stopped it to pray.

We in Islam should get married. For any is it fard for others sunnah. But how can I get married when I am doing harmful things. I fear that I am not more able to have intercourse (sorry). Because it has got a habit to do it with hands. But the point is, I want not just married to fulfill my desire. I want to get a wife, to share my life with her. I have not had any girlfriend or other relationships to others. And most people who are more than five years younger than me have experience. I know - I say alhamdullah - Allah has protect me, but I think: 'you are not praying, Allah will ask your salah, have you any chance of forgiveness?'. And then I think, all the people do everything what they want do. They will taste the fire. But I am not doing everything what I want, I am trying to be good. But without salah is everything for nothing. I will probably go into fire as well, although, I tried to be good. I am trying to do no shirk but without prayer....?

I have been trying to stop to watch porn, but it is quite difficult. I have been stopping it for some weeks now, but I am seeking other ways, which is not directly porn. I also have been looking for some pills or anything what stops the desire, but it seems that there is not anything like that. It is so hard to fight against nafs.
I am afraid start to pray, because I think, what will happen if you stop it again. I read a fatwaa, that a person who stops to pray must be killed. How can I start again, when I know that? I am afraid that I go to jamaah and stop praying and that they will kill me, because of stopping. I actually want to live in Sharia but how can I want that when brothers wants to kill me, because of stopping salah? I am very confused and I am afraid although I am living in a western country.

I know we have not to talk about our sins, but I need help at this matter. And because of that I have done it on anonymous way. Sorry for that.

[tigerkhan]

:sl:
talk with someone who is knowledgeable n experienced probably imam or sheik. Don't shy about it otherwise shaitan trap u.I'm not sure from where u r taking about this "kill" stuff. Have u even seen someone is killed bc of masterbation or not praying.
One tip I can give u to control shahvat is fasting n less eating if u can't marry.

[Al-Mufarridun]

:sl:

“[O Muhammad], inform My servants that it is I who am the Forgiving, the Merciful.”(Qur’an 15:49)

Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning],
do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins.
Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful. And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him
before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped."(Qur’an 39:53-54)

Brother, beware of the tricks and traps of Shaytan. Shaytan will want you to give up, to despair. You must keep battling, keep struggling, keep repenting. Never Quit. Start praying immediately and no matter what happens, you must commit to yourself that you'll not give up praying. It is much worst to not pray at all than to pray, then stop, then repent and start praying again. You must hold on to this rope. Remember the last words of our Prophet(pbuh) who cared so much about Us, "Salaah, Salaah, Salaah".

The Salah is your connection to Allah swt, consider it like the connection to your internet/phone service. Once you start praying, then when you are in sujuud, make Duaa, sincerely repent to Allah and ask Allah swt to assist you overcome this. When you don't pray then it is like you have no service, no connection with Allah swt. So tell me, which is better; to have no service/connection with Allah swt at all or to have some service/connection with Allah even it it is on and off? I'm sure you would agree with me that is much better to strive, struggle to do the right thing - than to not try at all.

So in short, first and foremost, make sure you get connection, get yourself ready for Salah, pray 2 rak'at, make sincere repentance, make Duaa to Allah to assist you, to cure you from this, to give you the strength to over come it. Study your religion, don't let shaytan and your nafs to mislead you to trick and trap you. Make yourself busy with work, school, volunteering, mix with righteous people, spend more time at the Masjid, avoid listening to music, watching movies. Disconnect your internet if possible. You must also replace what you give up for something better, for example replace islamic lectures for music/movies, reading for surfing the web.

May Allah swt guide and keep you and all of us to the straight path. Ameen.

Whoever leaves something for Allah - Allah will replace them with something that is better than it!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

staying in the company of the pious helps.

I sometimes share a room with my mother - that helps too :)

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[Hamza Asadullah]

:sl:

unfortunately I have to write hear, because of a problem what I have been for many years. It is very difficult to explain that in public, because that are very personal matters. And to explain that to every one is very unpleasant so I request to delete this topic, after we get inshaAllah a solution. I know that perhaps many other brothers can profit, when they have the same matter. But it is really unpleasant for me. And I will try to speak directly, please forgive me for that.

It is a topic which is discussed in every forum and has a lot of topics, it is concerning masturbation. I am addicted to this sin since more than 10 years. I have been starting to do that when I was very young, and had no idea about Islam. But I have been trying to stop it for many years. I tried it before I came (start to 'practice') to Islam (I am not a convert) but could not stop it. I am trying it since I am 'practicing', but I can not manage it for longer than two or three weeks. That is really frustrating. Main problem is, it destroys my morality and my iman. I have had a long time where I thought that I am a kafeer (auzubillah) although I know that I men does not become a Muslim due to sins.

That has a lot of affect to my real life. I want to learn (din and other things) but I do not have 'energy' to do it, because of thinking always to the one thing. It is horrible, sometimes I do not have any desire, alhamdullah, but then it overcomes me again. I am actually lowering my gaze, in real world, but when I am at home, it is pretty difficult to lower gazes in the virtual world. It feels different than real world. In real world I have shame so for instance I am not able to perform zinaa. But I am unable to manage it. I have to fear Allah, but if this desire overcomes me, I forget, I feel that my heart is not in memory to Allah. The urge to do it is to high and even if I manage it, I do not manage it for long time, maybe hours, maybe few days. I am trying to learn and to internalize what it Islam. Who is Allah. But I was not able to be strong enough. Not for a long time. Even as I prayed, for a time I did not had internet but I found other ways to get haram movies. But I took shower and prayed nevertheless but a time came where my heard was to damaged so I stopped it to pray.

We in Islam should get married. For any is it fard for others sunnah. But how can I get married when I am doing harmful things. I fear that I am not more able to have intercourse (sorry). Because it has got a habit to do it with hands. But the point is, I want not just married to fulfill my desire. I want to get a wife, to share my life with her. I have not had any girlfriend or other relationships to others. And most people who are more than five years younger than me have experience. I know - I say alhamdullah - Allah has protect me, but I think: 'you are not praying, Allah will ask your salah, have you any chance of forgiveness?'. And then I think, all the people do everything what they want do. They will taste the fire. But I am not doing everything what I want, I am trying to be good. But without salah is everything for nothing. I will probably go into fire as well, although, I tried to be good. I am trying to do no shirk but without prayer....?

I have been trying to stop to watch porn, but it is quite difficult. I have been stopping it for some weeks now, but I am seeking other ways, which is not directly porn. I also have been looking for some pills or anything what stops the desire, but it seems that there is not anything like that. It is so hard to fight against nafs.
I am afraid start to pray, because I think, what will happen if you stop it again. I read a fatwaa, that a person who stops to pray must be killed. How can I start again, when I know that? I am afraid that I go to jamaah and stop praying and that they will kill me, because of stopping. I actually want to live in Sharia but how can I want that when brothers wants to kill me, because of stopping salah? I am very confused and I am afraid although I am living in a western country.

I know we have not to talk about our sins, but I need help at this matter. And because of that I have done it on anonymous way. Sorry for that.

Asalaamu Alaikum. Please read through the following thread and get back to me:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...terbation.html

[anonymous]

(different anonymous) bro as long as there is the desire and the availability for you to do it, you will continue relapsing. You can tell yourself I won't do it but you will end up doing it. The best way is to make it impossible for you to watch it, so this means take off internet from your phone or download an app that blocks it when you can't turn off. Move the computer to a better place or download software (K9 protection) that blocks you from this stuff. Whatever you are watching it on has to go or has to be blocked or you will keep on elapsing.

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum,
The most important thing is that you accept that you are not perfect. Of course we should always strive towards perfection, but don't get discouraged when you fail, we all fail in one aspect or another, don't let it affect your imaan. Just pick yourself up and continue to seek the straight path.

[anonymous]

:sl:

baraak allahu feekum, brothers. I think one of the problem was, that I tried to be perfect. I know that I have to accept, that I am not. And that I would collect all the knowlege in short time, but this is actually not possible. I will do it step by step and try to not stress myself. I will see it more relaxed and try to keep the overview, with highest priority to salah. I will inshaAllah try to do not leave salah. I think that is the most important, even when I do sins.

@ Hamza Asadullah: I actually thought that I have had read this topic but it seems that I had not. I will sent you inschaAllah a pm. <br><br>I do not know, but would it be possible to delete this topic now? jazak allahu khairan

baraak allahu feekum, :wa:

[anonymous]

okay, It seems that I am not able to send some pm as anonymous user. I will post it here, inshaAllah.

I am worried about two statements:

12. Due to undue hard stroking, the nerves, arteries and veins all tend to die out and blood doesn’t flow properly to that organ, due to which it may become limp and the person no longer has the ability to perform intercourse. They may develop impotence or erectile dysfunction, and thus they will face a great shame in front of their wife, society and the matter could even reach divorce.

14. Sometimes the mere rubbing against ones’ clothes or the mere thought of intercourse with ones’ wife may cause ejaculation. One’s organ may become crooked. It may grow in girth from the front and then towards the back due to which a person may not be fully capable of intercourse.

I wrote that I was doing this for more than 10 years. I think it would be not unusual when that apply to me. Is there any chance that it goes to normal again when man do not do it for more than some months - with Allah permission?
I am afraid that I will disgrace me in front of my wife. Or that she could know, because of that, what I have used to do. I know we should fistly think what thinks Allah about us, but I fear that this could be a problem in marriage.

PS: You can add into that thread, that the prophet (pbuh) used to wear a cloth when he has taken a shower. (if you want, perhaps I overlooked it)

[anonymous]

:sl:

Brother excuse me, that I wrote: 'PS: You can add into that thread, that the prophet (pbuh) used to wear a cloth when he has taken a shower. (if you want, perhaps I overlooked it)'. Instead of thank you for your effort to make this helpful guide, I write something like that. May Allah love you. Baraak Allahu feek.

[anonymous]

Would it be permissible to get castrated?

[ardianto]

I am afraid start to pray, because I think, what will happen if you stop it again. I read a fatwaa, that a person who stops to pray must be killed.

Follow other fatawa that say "if someone stop pray, he must start to pray again". If you pray again regularly and being closer to Allah, so you will feel guilty and embarassed when you want to masturbate again.

And have a hobby that you are active on it, football or basketball, for example. So your desire to watch porn or hot picture will be changed into desire to make amazing goal or amazing slam dunk.

Would it be permissible to get castrated?

No!

[anonymous]

it does not work! It became a habit. I have actually no desire to watch those things but I do it. I actually have not hardcore shahvet but I masturbate - it became a habit. I try it since many years but I relapse always. I actually do not believe that I can stop. It is impossible. I pray, everything is good, but than anything happens I go back to watch - but I do not enjoy (!) - I do not know why am doing it. The hole day everything is perfect I think, ok alhamdulliah now I will manage it, but than...

And actually it is haram to do sports. I want to go to a fitnes club but I cannot because there are music and girls. I actually do not have the problem to lower my gaze in real world but some say it is haram to go there. Although you can listing quran or something like that while you train.

A castration will certainly solve that problem. I missed Isha and Fajr again. Because I was to tired to take a shower, in this case it has actually be allowed for me because I miss the salah due to that sin. I have read that it is possible to change it with go back to normal at later time when you decide to do so.