The only thing I will strongly advice you to do is to
PRAY PRAY PRAY before you stand before Allah in the Day of Judgement...
Remember what Allah says in Surat Maryam:
"Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times, etc.] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell. (
59)Except those who repent and believe (in the Oneness of Allah and His Messenger Muhammad SAW), and work righteousness. Such will enter Paradise and they will not be wronged in aught. (
60)"
And The prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) warned us in many hadiths about leaving Salaat; he said:
“Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his neglect of the prayer.” (Narrated by Muslim in the book of faith from Jaabir ibn ‘Abdillah)
and also:
It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Husayb (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is the prayer, and whoever neglects it has disbelieved (become a kaafir)."
(It was narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa’i and Ibn Maajah).
You have cut the connection between Allah The Exalted and you my respected and noble brother so, what do you expect? your heart and soul are suffering for leaving their real food which is Salaat and Athiker too
WaAllahi without salaat; all the dark thoughts and all bad feelings and depression will hunt you all the way... laa ilaha illa Allah.
A good life is not connected to material circumstances; rather it is the life of the heart, and its joy and happiness stem from
obeying Allah, and from strong faith in Allah and belief in His will and decree, and from certainty that Allah is wise in all that He does.
and also I want you to know O dear and precious son of my Ummah that No good deeds will be accepted from one who does not pray – no zakaah, no fasting, no Umrah, no Hajj, no Sadaqah or anything else.
Al-Bukhaari (520) narrated that Buraydah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does not pray ‘Asr, his good deeds
will be annulled.”
What is meant by “his good deeds will be annulled” is that they will be rendered invalid and will be of no benefit to him. This hadeeth indicates that Allaah will not accept any good deed from one who does not pray, so the one who does not pray will not benefit at all from his good deeds and no good deed of his will be taken up to Allaah.
It seems from the hadeeth that there are two types of those who do not pray: those who do not pray at all, which annuls all their good deeds, and those who do not offer a particular prayer on a particular day, which annuls the good deeds of that day. So annulment of all good deeds happens to those who forsake all the prayers, and annulment of the good deeds of a particular day happens to the one who omits a particular prayer.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked in Fataawa al-Siyaam (p. 87) about the ruling on the fasting of one who does not pray.
He replied:
The fast of one who does not pray is not valid and is not accepted, because the one who does not pray is a kaafir and an apostate, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if they repent [by rejecting Shirk (polytheism) and accept Islamic Monotheism], perform As-Salaah (Iqaamat-as-Salaah) and give Zakaah, then they are your brethren in religion”
[al-Tawbah 9:11]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr stands his giving up prayer.” Narrated by Muslim, 82. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The covenant that separates us from them is prayer; whoever gives up prayer is a kaafir.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2621; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
This is also the view of most of the Sahaabah, if not their consensus. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Shaqeeq (may Allaah have mercy on him), who was one of the well-known Taabi’een, said: The companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not think that omitting any action made a person a kaafir, except for prayer. Based on this, if a person fasts but he does not pray, then his fast is rejected and not accepted, and it will not avail him anything before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection. We say to him: Pray then fast, because if you fast but do not pray, then your fast will be rejected, because acts of worship are not accepted from a kaafir.
read here:
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/49698
I am not trying to be harsh to you more than reminding you; reminding a son of my beloved Ummah whom I see him suffering and struggling all the way...
why my precious brother? you have prevented yourself from the most peaceful and happiest moment ever which is when you put your forehead and nose on the ground praising Allah and talk to Him through your Duaa and tears...laa ilaha illa Allah :cry:
the sad things is that you are not the only one but also many are deprived from feeling the sweetness of being a slave and servant of Allah, alas!
May Allah guide you and all of us to His straight path and keep us firm on it always and forever Ameeeen
Please Akhi Pray just for Allah's sake...waAllahi I don't care of losing whatever but O Allah I beg You please to never prevent me from putting ma forehead and nose on the ground in submission and humility just for Your Sake Ya Rabb Ameeeen
Take the best care of your precious self.
Leaving ya under Allah's sight , care and protection.
Humbly and with all respect, your sister:
Amat Allah.