View Full Version : Brothers and sisters please help...?

04-13-2013, 08:27 PM
I doubt anyone will understand me or support me but I work at an Islamic Madrassah in the evening. I'm what you call an Aalimah even though I took long breaks in between my course and I went back to complete the course because I wanted to become a good person. In my last year we had to wear the veil to madrassah to and back but even after that everytime I go to a mosque or madrassah I wear it. I dont feel comfortable wearing it outside full time as I feel very afraid. My mum is old and we constantly face racisim. I don't have any brothers or someone I can turn to or someone to look after me if I am in trouble. Not even my uncles or cousins. I teach at the madrassah and wear the veil there as I feel comfortable wearing it.<br><br>I met a childs parent whilst out shopping today. She didn't recognize me but I said salaam to her 5 year old daughter. Now this daughter is a great kid but whenever she sees me congratulating another child or not giving her enough attention she complains about me to her mum. For example. I said to a few children well done for behaving so well as they normally cry and this girl thought that meant she was being naughty because I didn't congratulate her. So her mum sees me shopping today&nbsp; wearing only my abaya and she says to me ohh I didnt recognise you as you normally wear the veil and I smiled and said yes. I was going to explain myself and she said well why do you wear the veil to school and not outside? who do you do pardah from? the girls? and I found that really rude I was shaking...so I said its my personal decision..InshaAllah I shall start wearing it full time when I feel so...she went on and on...she said what sort of message does this give to my girls? (she was abusing me in front of them and she herself was wearing skinny jeans and a leather jacket)...and I couldnt stay patient I said to her I found it quite rude that shes telling me these things and that it was my personal decision...she said she only asked as she wanted to know what sort of message do her kids get? and I said well there was no need to be rude about it...she said well I've apologised and the humble Aalimah I'm supposed to be ...I should not be telling her the things I was telling her...I rang my head apa and she said she'll have a word with her (shes known the parent for years and I dont think she can say much) later on my head apa messages me saying before she rang her she got a text off the parent...she wants to take this to the maulana and see what he says....I dont know I feel like they'll take her side....<br><br>I've been crying for the past 5 and half hours like how can she treat me like that? on parents day she asked me whether I find my job stressful as her daughter was complaining about me...and then last week she said kids will feel tired but its all about management skills....as though I was not fit for my job...<br><br>I dont want to be called an aalimah anymore...I feel like quitting and minding my own business...I dont know what else I can do with a degree in english...I wanted to be a secondary school english teacher but if 5 year olds are like this imagine what teenagers are like...I feel like im at a dead end...not even married...dont ever want to get married....but forget that did I do the right thing? I feel like a terrible muslimah because of this women who always has something hurtful to say or attacks people.

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
04-14-2013, 08:42 PM
Honey it's okay. She's on fault for being mean to you. I guess you should search for another job instead if you don't want this one anymore. Maybe becoming a newspaper writer or an author would be another alternative. About the veil.. I kind of understood that's it was complusory to wear inside the Madrassah right?. If that's the case then just explain to the parents that it is a job requirement. If they look down on your or frown upon your for not wearing it outside then it's thei fault because they don't want to even hear you out to begin with. Don't get discouraged and please wipe out your tears. It is sort of ironic that a married woman wearing a leather jacket and skinny jeans ( I'm not being judgemental just pointing it out) is calling you out for not wearing the niqab outside. Shouldn't she look at herself first before addressing others?. How quickly do we point fingers at each other, without observing ourselves first. It is sad that you have to punish yourself for her actions. Why would you feel terrible about her actions on behalf of her. It's her brunt and she should bear it not you. I know sometimes racism is hard to deal with. But all the same; forget it and take it out of your mind. Focus on pleasing your mother. I will pary for you and hopefully one day you marry a wondeful husband. Relax things will be fine don't overmagnify them I pray that Allah will ease all your troubles and pains away. And that he may guide us all to His straight path. Ameen. :)

04-15-2013, 12:35 AM
sister think all the blessed ppl and Ambiya AS had faced theses difficulties, bullying, criticism by these foolish ppl but they never change their way bcz of these non sense. so keep steadfast and for such kind of ppl i think we need to show strict behaviors sometimes bcz they sometime take ppl humbleness as their weakness. my prayers are with you insha Allah.

04-15-2013, 08:09 AM
:salam: sister,

I hope you are feeling a little better now in shaa Allah.

I understand from your post that you are wearing the hijab (head-scarf) at school, and do not wear it outside of that? (as it would not be necessary to wear niqaab if you are teaching other sisters). Or do you wear the hijab in public, but do not wear the niqaab?

I just wanted to mention a few of my thoughts in shaa Allah:

- Our only intention at the beginning and at the end of every act, each and every day - should be to gain the pleasure of Allah (subhanawatáala).
If we know in our hearts, that what we are doing (this can refer to anything - be it watching TV, the people we are befriending, etc etc) is causing the displeasure of Allah Taa'la, then we should be feeling an immense sadness and anxiety as well.....and it should be the primary motivating factor in changing that behaviour.

His pleasure should be OUR pleasure.
And His displeasure should be OUR displeasure.

Do not live your life, seeking acceptance and rewards from His creation.
For you may gain this in this short term of life.....but what will be the case in the hereafter?
These very people who you were so worried about, will be fleeing from you. You will have to face your own decisions by yourself.

- Very often, it is our OWN fears about a matter, that limits us from doing what is right.
We may be afraid about, e.g. what people will think, their reactions to us, not progressing in the work-place/ in society as a result of us, flying high the banner of Islam.
And only later, do we realise that society is actually much more accepting than we think!

There will ALWAYS be those we will try to deter you from the true path (including fellow muslims) - but when you know that you have Allah (subhanawataála) on YOUR side, then the whole world can gang up on you, and it will not avail them!
As mentioned above, the prophets of Allah, and the sahaba went through soo many hardships in the path of their Lord - why?
Because they knew that their reward lies with Allah - and how much greater is this reward, than anything in this dunya?

Please note, that if you are referring to wearing the niqaab in public, then I am in no way advising that you should do so, in an area where there is extreme Islamophobia and oppression of muslims as a result of it.
For this, there are different rulings made by our knowledgable scholars, and you should consult your local imam to gain his wisdom on this (for your particular region).
(Im not aware of too many countries where this is present.....and we should not be deterred simply by gaining 'unpleasant stares' or remarks about our deen.)

If you are referring to wearing the hijab (head-scarf) in public, then dear sister - this is the command of Allah, (as is the niqaab) upon us , His servants.
And this may be the means of Him testing you - in your trust in Him, your strength of imaan - and it may in shaa Allah, be the means of elevating your status to such a high rank, just for seeking nothing but His pleasure.

Somebody mentioned to me the other day - that if you practise on a sunnah, that most people dont practise on during these times of fitnah, you get the reward of 100 shuhadah (martyrs). Perhaps someone can confirm the authenticity of this in shaa Allah.
^ But essentially know, that it is not an easy thing to be LIVING Islam, both inwardly and outwardly in todays times.
And the one who does so - can become so close and beloved to Allah azza wajjal by doing so.

May Allah (subhanawataála) make this decision easy on you, and guide you to all that is pleasing to Him.


Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
04-15-2013, 08:50 PM
this world is filled with fitnah for people who want to do thenright thing.

there will be no easy ride for those who love rasoolullaah sallallahi alaihi wasallaam.

but that being said whilst reading yiur entire post i kept thinking , and forgive my insensitivity, "why does she care, is rizq, honour and dignity not from Allah?"

if you keeo doing the right thing and remain patient only good will come to you. i can understand your pain but honestly if that mother tried so much as question me i would have laughed (literally) salamed her daughter and walked away. dont let it get to you.

if the maulana causes you grief over this then he will have wronged you and thats just another thing you have to bre patient with but inshallah ifnyou explain the situation and rely on Allah there will be nothing to worrqy about.

forgive my insensitivities

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up


Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!