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View Full Version : since when parents are into materialistic things?



catalzzy
04-17-2013, 09:22 PM
salaam alaikyim all,

Since when our parents and some of your parents around the world has expectations in materialistic things?

One would say, education or work.

In my current situation, what has happened was when i had my recent talks with my father even i know my mum has the same idea as him.
I am an university drop out twice. Somehow, i have no idea why i have not completed my studies and tend to out balance spiritually against materialism like doing islamic presentations etc. Now i am on my 3rd university and i am not sure whether i am going to complete it because i am kind of attached to spiritual things. My parents does not believe me anymore whether i would graduate and i will be getting less support than my younger brother and sister whos soon to finish their degree. Even in my thinking, i dont want to be framed as deaf person that should be isolated from my family. I am normally very quiet and that dosent mean i am a stranger or some sort. My parents never supported me in my talents and always crave a huge obsession in education.

My father told me, if i have not completed my degree and that would be a great shame on myself as people outside my family will be looking down on you expecting that you dont have any degree at all. No degree, no support at all. Left out and will be looked down by my family members to condemn me with a shame.

I may think too much but what is the point of attaining university degree while the current economy is destabilizing and the financial growth in international businesses is fragile which would mean getting no job at all even you get a degree. In my opinion, the current international economy with politics involved and both are spearheading to fall and corruption will be rife. Sorry if i am off the point.

And of course about marriage, it is indeed important. I am getting older and my father is getting older. He mentioned that i have to marry a normal person because the grand children will not have any problem. He thinks a disabled person will give grand children with problems. Well, in fact. He married my mum and shes normal so what happened? i was born deaf? literally maybe he thinks i am a problem to him? is it he contradicting himself? If i marry a normal person and by Allah's will she can possibly turn deaf? stroke? anything can happen. I can marry any races because i am not a racist. My parents say its best for you to marry somebody in the same nation. Not even africans, white, arabs, etc Nah, i am not even interested in my nation and i am bored of it.

In fact, i dont know what i am doing in my life with the pressure coming from my parents. I seek advice from you and i keep myself in dua to Allah for His help. Should i get married early or just focus on my university study when future is bleak?

thanks
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catalzzy
04-24-2013, 11:15 PM
73 views ad no response??
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*charisma*
04-25-2013, 12:25 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

You mentioned you were deaf? Are you, literally?

I understand that you're getting into more spiritual things rather than wanting to go to school, I think we've all been there before. However, part of our iman is to gain knowledge and get a good education. You may not see the benefit of it now because you haven't looked beyond the things that you want...it doesn't seem like you have a plan in life or goals either..I could be wrong, but I'm assuming so because you haven't mentioned any and you're outlook on your surroundings is a little negative.

if you are able, try to complete school. Do something that you would like to do, find a way to implement the gained knowledge to your life islamically. Who says that if you finish school you won't have a great job, who even says that you have to remain in the same country? There are opportunities all around the world.

As for marrying someone, just keep talking to your parents about it, respectfully. Inshallah Allah will soften their hearts towards you marrying someone of your choice.

Parents just want the best for their children, and I know it can be stressful and tough, especially when you don't want to do it or don't believe in yourself. That's the great thing about parents though, they may say mean things to you or make you feel like crap (that's just how some of them are), but in all reality, they're the only ones that believe that you're able to do what you think you're incapable of doing. If you're still young, you should try your best to make them happy and proud of you. Keep making du'a, inshallah things will become easier and look up from here.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam
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