format_quote Originally Posted by
Koshluv
I am head over heels in love with a non practicing muslim man. He's kind, loving, sweet natured, gentle & affectionate. But.... He's married.
Please don't judge me...I know it's wrong and I didn't want it to happen.
But after months and months....it has. He told me he will not lay down his wife- so I know he will not leave her. But he also told me he does not want to lose me. I asked him, should I move on..? He says no... He wants me and asked me not to forget him. We only see each other once a week now because he moved...he makes the effort to call me and see me when he can. I don't even have a real question I guess... But I have never dated a muslim man- so I don't know what my point is here.... I guess I thought if I convert to muslim.... (& yes I would be willing to convert if it means I could be with him. I'd be willing to share him too.)
..... then he could marry me too. He already refers to me as his second wife. But when we really talk about it....he says you do not want to be married to me. He has confused me more than I can explain.
Dear Koshluv,
I appeal to you, to step aside from your emotions, just for a short while - and think about your actions, using your mind; not your heart.
You do not need to be a religious person to realise that NO good can come from an affair with a married man.
Consider the following:
1. This 'kind, loving, sweet natured, gentle & affectionate' personality that you are seeing is simply because he wishes to lure you into his games.
I can assure you that such a persons charms are not exclusive to you....or his wife.
As a muslim, he is fully aware of the severity of his crimes, but still he persists.
This is only due to the over-powering nature of his carnal self/ lusts, and the whispers of the devil - who truly loves to see marriages dissolve.
2. A man who can betray his spouse, and more importantly, His Creator, is one who can surely do the same to you.
Even if he had to agree to marry you, would you consider yourself immune to a similiar type of fate befalling you?
How do you trust the one who can cheat and deceive those who are closest to him, and show no remorse for his actions?
If your beauty and charms were to disappear (God forbid, e.g through severe illness or trauma), do you think he will still be interested?
Or would you be forgotten like the broken toy which holds no delight anymore?
3. Place yourself in the shoes of this mans poor wife.
How do you feel?
Overwhelming pain, betrayed, broken hearted.....a marriage ruined?
He may be the one with the ring on his finger, but do realise that you take an equal share in destroying a home.
Would you like to be the wife, betrayed by her husband in a similiar way?
Then how do you justify breaking anothers heart in this manner??
4. And if nothing else, then fear God.
Fear the One who has created you - and to whom you will be returning to, to account for all your actions.
And realise that EVERY action in this life has an equal, if not more severe REACTION.
Some people may call this 'karma' - but most definitely justice will be served if not in this life, than in the next life.
Your God, and our God is one and the same - and He is aware of all that occurs.
If He so desired, He could unleash His justice at the very moment of adultery, when His commands are being ignored and transgressed.
The time that He is giving you, does not stem from His pleasure with this relationship.....but the desire that you see the error in your ways and return to Him in belief and repentance, before the life that has been allocated is over.
Please contemplate on all of this, and then ask yourself if it is still worth it?
I sincerely encourage you to read about the religion of Islam. We have many beneficial threads to assist you with this.
And if you have any questions regarding this beautiful way of life, that only offers you peace, love and the mercy of your Creator, please do not hesitate to ask us.
God Bless