American woman married to Muslim man - lots of questions....

[marriedmusman]

As-Salmu Alaykum

Thank you for reading my post. I am an American and my husband is Arabic. We both live in America... I have never met his family and they do not know about me or that he is married. He says that he is scared to tell his family because of how they might react but he also says if I go to Jordan with him for a visit he will tell them them? He is actually going back for Ramadan and has asked me to go with him for the first week or last week of his visit. I have not made up my mind yet but am leaning more towards not going because of how expensive it would be for just a week.

My biggest question is about his religion - His parents are very faithful to their religion and my husband has total faith in his religion but does not practice everything. He participates in Ramadan and Eid but he does not pray 5 times a day. When I first met him he never prayed or if he did it was never in front of me. He did pray 5 times a day several months back when he thought he thought he was sick but it only lasted for a month.

Our marriage was very unorthodox... myself a Christian but I do not a practicing one. My husband Islam who in my opinion picks and choices what he wants to practice since he does not pray everyday. He was not a virgin when I met him and he knew I was not a virgin (he gets crazy when he thinks about that now he doesn't get physical he just says a lot of Arabic words that I do not understand lol) He does not use drugs or drink alcohol. He will not allow his friends to look at me or talk to me with the exception of a few but very briefly.

The other day I went to touch him when he got out of the shower and he stopped me and said I had to wait until he put his socks on because he wanted to pray later. This confused me I guess if he isn't 100% practicing his religion why would it matter if I touched and kissed him before he put his socks on... and is that strange that he knows in the morning that later he wants to pray? Is he praying at work because his co-worker prays??

I married him because I loved him from the moment I laid eyes on him and he was the first man I have ever trusted... I found out a lot more about his past after we were married.. before we were married he led me to believe that he was a virgin before he came to America and I was amazed at his strong values but after we were married I found out that he actually did have sex prior to comimg to America. He is with me 98% of the time when he is not working but works 60-70 hours a week. I find myself insecure and questioning his faithfulness. I have issues of trust because my ex-husband was unfaithful. Before I met him I had decided all men were unfaithful and I planned on being single for the rest of my life.

But when I met him and he talked about his religion and his values I was hooked but after I found out he wasn't as innocent as he portrayed I sometimes find myself thinking all men are unfaithful. How can I tell how committed he is to me... if he picks and chooses his religion
would he easily cheat on me? Are Muslim men the same as American men?

He's going to Jordan for 40 Days - how do Arabic coupls stay away from each other and not worry about being unfaithful. He tells me its not easy to have sex in Jordan with someone unless you are married but he wasn't a virgin when he came here....
Someone help me please :) :) :)

Thank you!

[IbnAbdulHakim]

islamically suspicion is a sin... though i know that doesnt help much.


every advice I give is islamic do i dont know how much comfort i can be.

see if i was in your situation i would say to myself that i am doing all i can and leave the rest upto God after praying to him. everything is Gods will end of the day so worrying about it or being suspicious wont help.

now that you've married him trust and patience is your only choice but try to believe in God because it will help with that