Returning Back...

[anonymous]

Salam Aleikum

I have been Muslim for about a year and a half now and it was the best thing I have ever done. I felt confidence, peace, happiness, and had a sense of joy that could not have come any other way. Unfortunately, I've made some wrong choices and now my Iman is suffering and I just don't feel like doing any act of Ibadah cause I feel like a hypocrite. I feel lazy to do prayer when before, I would pray immediately when it was time no matter where. I just want to get that feeling when I first became Muslim because I felt like I was on top of the world. Any ounce of advice would be appreciated greatly...

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum
I think many of us have had our ups and downs like this. I converted about 10 years ago, had my ups and downs, but that initial high from the first year never came back to it's fullests. It's like the Qur'an says, don't think you can just say that you are muslim, and not expect to be tested like all the generations before you have been tested. So just hang in there and do the best you can.

One thing though, don't buy into that "hypocricy" thing, it's a scam from shaytaan. If I don't do this I shouldn't do that; if I don't do that I shouldn't do this either. Before you know it you'll be doing nothing at all! Truth is, things like daily prayer is an obligation. So even if you sin, you still have to pray (and ask forgiveness obviously). That doesn't make you a hypocrite. Each action will be judged upon it's intention, so as long as you're not praying just for the sake of what people would think then you don't have to fear being a hypocrite!

And a second thing, I don't know if this is the case with you; but sometimes people have a tendancy to push themselves to hard. Like, do everything that is sunnah as if it would be fard. Focus to hard on religious matters and leave no room in their lifes for relaxation or enjoyment. This can be suffocating and nobody can keep that up for a long period of time. There's allot of lieniancy in Islam (like look at the diffrences in opinion among the four schools). This is a mercy of Allah so use it. Islam is not supposed to be hard. Islam is meant as a guidance to make your life easier. You probably already know that life on earth is meant as a test, but what are we tested about? how good we can follow a rule and live like a robot? Or are the rules meant as guidlines on how to succeed the real test?

Remember me in your duas and I'll try to do the same for you :)