:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
I know pre marital relationships are Haraam so let's leave that out for now.
We can't leave that out, because it's a prime cause of whats happening. When boys and girls are in "relationships" esp without the parents knowledge, and have been for a while, being all nice at the beginning, then the boys tend to take advantage of the girls because they know the girl is "in love" with them.
One of the reasons for a girl needing a wali in Islam is so that the girl doesn't get taken advantage of.
Nothing wrong with wearing niqaab etc, but
this says it all, with big alarm bells:
he'll still go jannah regardless if I'm not treated with kindness.
He is basically telling you how he's going to be with you.
Apart from that, that sentence is not true. Its shows no fear of Allah. Treating one's wife badly is a great sin. How does he know he won't go to hell for treating you badly? Is he going to control what Allah does too, apart from you? Laa howla wa laa quwwata illaa billaah.
If he was truly religious, he wouldn't have contact with you alone, and would prefer to go through or involve your wali.
He wants to marry you within the month to have you under his control in case you're having second thoughts. At the moment, you can just walk away freely. Take that opportunity to do so. Now. Before it's too late, and you're stuck in an oppressive marriage.
This is not only controlling, but wrong. You should break off with him and repent from it, and leave your parents/guardians (if you have them) to find somebody suitable for you. They will be able to look at things objectively, and in shaa'Allah choose someone suitable.
May Allah make things for you, grant you a pious, pleasing husband, ameen.