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View Full Version : Read this before leaving Islam



Abdul Fattah
06-12-2013, 10:34 PM
Read this before leaving Islam
I think most of us, if not all of us will eventually have a moment of doubt. Even if it is just indulging a random thought on a dreamy afternoon. To never doubt, means not to examinate. Means to follow blindly, taking things for granted. Luckely though, most of these doubts never get anywhere. When we feel emotionally tapped out we remind ourselves that Islam makes perfect sense, that it all adds up, some believe even that there exist undeniable evidence. When it is our rational mind that is under attack from an argument or question, we keep on searching for a counterargument or an explenation, relying on our emotional strenghth to get us trough this period of doubt. Reminding ourselfs of the many blessings we have recieved, or of how we felt that other day, tasting the sweetness of religion.

But what if Allah subhana wa ta'ala decided he wants to test you by (momentarily) taking away both our emotional strenght, leaving us emotionally bankrupt, stranded as well as our rational arguments, making our minds chaotic and confused? And don't for a second think that you're to strong/smart for that to happen, because all of your strenghts and insights come from Allah and he could take them away if he so desired. Perhaps you will push the doubts away out of social pressure, or out of fear for what a life without Islam might bring and the fear of change. Or maybe you are married and fear loosing your partner. And those fears might help push these doubts away. But these aren't strong convictions, no matter how mush you push eventually the doubts will re-surface. Should this actually happen, and you suddenly find yourself flirting with the idea of leaving Islam, I'd urge you to consider the following:

We choose with our hearts, not our minds.
Abdullah b. Amr b. al-’As reported that he heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes. Then Allahs Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: 0 Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience.
The way that Islamic dawah focuses mainly on rational arguments and "evidence" and debate is a clear indication that most of us think that we consciously choose our religion based on ration thought. Personally, I don't believe that at all. I believe we choose our faith (or the absence of it) on what we desire! Once a choice is made in our hearts, the mind starts looking for rationalisations to justify this choice. Focussing on whatever strenghthens our feeling, and ignoring everything that might weaken it. this should be obvious from the previous hadeeth, that talks about our hearts being inbetween Allah's fingers and not our minds. It is however also something that psychology teaches us. In Freuds topography of mind, our mind is compared to an iceberg, where the conscious and rational part of our mind is just the tip which surfaces, and where the weight of our decisions is made by different subconscious parts.
And if you think about it for a second, this makes perfect sense doesn't it? I mean, if life on earth is a test, then what are we tested for? To determine how smart we are and whether we are capable to select the right path with our minds? Or to expose what lies in our hearts?

So, coming back to the main topic, if both emotion and logic fail to help you trough this confusing moment of doubt, leave the rational arguments and the questions aside for a moment and deal with the emotions first.

Rational emotions vs. irrational emotions.
So your emotions are pushing you to leave Islam. don't you think you owe it to yourself to at least check wether those emotions are rational rather then just accepting the situation as it is, and making decisions you might regret later on? And most of the time the reason why your heart is pushing you this or that way isn't totally clear. It all happens in the subconscious part of our mind afterall. So here's where you investigate, what changed in your life. Why do you feel the way that you feel know? What is different from before? How is your relationship with God, how do you feel towards him?
After my first marriage I had a depression and hit emotional rock bottom. My imaan felt like a punching bag, and I had to struggle each day to keep going. I was frequently visiting an internetforum for people who left Islam. I told myself felt I had to hear the other side of the story to be fair. In retrospect I think a part of me was secretly hoping to find an excuse/argument that allowed me to leave Islam. However what I found was, that almost every person there, when I read there stories or when I asked them why they had left Islam did one of two things. Some brought an argument which has been answered a thousand times and over on this forum here. And some brought their personal experience. Explained how they left Islam because this had happened or that had happened, and that in light of those events they no longer felt hthe conviction to believe anymore. Looking at my own life, I suddenly realised that I was angry with Allah. I had tried so hard following every little rule I could find, I had tried to marry somebody while strictly abiding the rules, relying purely on istakhara without actuallly trying to see what kind of person she was. And I felt betrayed, felt that I didn't deserve this. Felt that Allah subhana wa ta'al owed me something better than that. Of course, as soon as I realised this, I knew how stupid and wrong that emotion was. Of course Allah subhana wa ta'ala doesn't "owe" me anything, and all that I do have I have thanks to him. And as soon as I realised this, all those doubts that had plagued me for weeks vanished into thin air. Rebuilding imaan obviously takes more time, and didn't happen instantaniously.

Back to the drawingboard
Well Like I said, deal with the emotions first; and some of the doubts and questions might vanish, but some might not! For me, during this emotional period what I knew about Islam (or what I thought I knew) had been turned upside down. I had with this rather unfortunate timing found out that I had been fed lies. Lies about what sahih hadeeth mean, and how to aproach them. Lies on how to deal with diffrences in opinion among the madhab. And it felt like my whole faith was falling down like a house of cards. It wasn't untill after this revelation I mentioned in the previous paragraph that sent my emotions back on the right track that I realised it was actually only my views on fiqh that needed re-adjustment and that all the rest remained as-is. So yeah, that sucked, back to the drawing-board. But in a way it was also a good opportunity and I like to believe it actually made my faith even stronger than before. Don't throw away your faith because you have accepted something false! Go back to the beginning. Do you believe In the concept of God? Do you believe in the Qur'an, and that Muhammed was God's messenger? If so, then why should you leave Islam? Yeah there might be things that don't make sense right now, or even some things you had accepted for truth or accepted to be self-evident even, that turn out to be false. But that doesn't mean it's all false!

Perhaps this test is just what I needed all along to set you straight, just as mine did for me!
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