format_quote Originally Posted by
Ines95
I lost my mother in terrible circumstances and I can't get over her loss. Can you imagine the pain of knowing that your mother suffered terribly.I can't imagine my life without her. I miss her every moment. she will know nothing about my life, she was so kind and loving. All I want is to still have her with me. tell her how much I love her and thank her for everything she has done for me. I can't get over it
I usually provide a direct response-which helps as I don’t always spend time online and don’t like to waste time-so don’t be offended.
1. The reasons why people struggle in your situation as they are placing their relationship more important than that between the deceased and Allah.
2. The dead would never wish to come back into this world -except a. if they are going to Hell and wish to have another chance or b. wishing they did more to increase their reward.
3. What people don’t think about is that if you had your Mother back it wouldn’t be the same, someone in the next world coming back here, wouldn’t just be concentrating on having a nice life, having holidays, spending time with family, having hobbies. Actually they would want to be walking down the street and shouting at people that we don’t’ agree with you and there is the one God and that is all that matters. So how you think that relationship would be wouldn’t be the same. She would be telling you to worship Allah and that’s all she would care about.
4. On the Day of Judgement, people won’t be caring about each other, they will be looking forwards and not each other. It’s not a get together like you do in this world, you wish to stand with people you get along etc.
5. If humans just all died in peace or just evaporated on death -then if you think about it, people wouldn’t be that caring about each other and think about looking out for them. Also, their suffering, Allah rewards for everything – and that is between your Mother and Allah. A Muslim would be offended if Allah said to them when they are dead, it is actually about your daughter/son-they would reply, this is my suffering and I look towards a reward from you-this is what they care about.
6. Even the dead children don’t need your sympathy-they look towards Allah and they don’t care about this person crying.
7. Shaytaan has led many astray to crying about their dead relatives and even people have committed suicide! Here, again elevating their own relationship over Allah and their relative. Everyone and everything belongs to Allah- and on to him they return. They are also really saying is that it is pointless for someone to love them as all they are going to do is get depressed and commit suicide if they are left alone. Is that the value of love?? Did they appreciate it?? If they did, they would be happy with what they had and move on to bettering themselves. Allah is not going to send you to Paradise because you were not loved-nowhere does it state that you had to be loved.
8. The dead will never ask to come back to play games, have a party with people-that is not enough and never will be. I heard a Mother having a dream of her dead daughter in a bad state, she visited another Muslim, who told her to pray on behalf her daughter-using Durood Sharif, then she had another dream of her daughter In a better state.
9. Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is an intercessor on the Day of Judgement- this is different as he cared about people being successful with Allah.
10. The Muslims have been successful and a religion perfected because the Muslims listened to the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. This is not what happened with the Jews-who rejected the last 2 Prophets and didn’t treat the other Prophets well Like King David peace be upon him and the Christians feared the authorities more even though Prophet Jesus peace be upon him had the table spreadth from heaven made a clay bird (which is believed to be the bat) and by Allah’s permission came alive. When the Prophet Jesus peace be upon him comes back he won’t need to tell the Muslims how to pray, as we have already been taught. The Muslims won’t allow anything to happen to him. The Christians say they were told not to protect him when he was alive-so why then are they fighting any wars after that-what permission do they have?? At the time of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, the companions followed him and his teachings-they readily listened and made changes-this is why we are successful.
11. People watch too much western media and get carried away – if there was a child and they were looking forward to going to the meadow and playing with the other children -but then they were told couldn’t, this child will be upset. The issue is now adults are feeling sorry for themselves-when it is no longer about being on the “receiving” end of attention but about engaging with others, being helpful -to Muslims and non-Muslims. Where is there time to feel sorry for yourself?? That also shows that you are not doing much in your life-as if it was enough, you wouldn’t be wishing for your Mother to come back and sit with you.
12. There are those on the Day of Judgement wished they didn’t listen to people, as it held them back (they aren’t going to Hell), they are seeing all these people earning their reward and theirs is a little. Allah is not going to give you Paradise for how many ice-creams you eat, if you enjoyed a sunny day -he is going to give you Paradise for looking towards him, praying to him.
13. There are those on the Day of Judgement-the martyrs who have had injuries-this is kept and I think there is reference of it with having sweet scent. If someone said to them, we wish you didn’t have those injuries or that you didn’t get killed -you think they would be happy-rather they would be offended-so your saying your sympathy is what people should live by that you didn’t want anyone to go through anything. If this was the case-our test would be really dumbed down. Our religious texts would be different, it would just be based on how well we live. Your Mother is not living on your sympathy either she is looking towards Allah.
14. Anyone who goes to Hell, the good people are not going to be standing their being miserable on the Day of Judgement, they are being rejoiceful, they will be going to Paradise. Why should they be miserable as evil doers were being selfish and sent themselves to Hell. For Allah to send people to Hell is not a small thing-we can see in today’s world too, he gives people lots and lots of chances-his Mercy is Great. Your Kindness, mercy is not greater than Allah’s.
15. Paradise even thinking of what we know basically, there are 4 rivers, honey, wine, water and milk (which is the substance of course created by Allah and animals been allowed to produce). Trees, grass -says were water underneath flows-so no rain. Walking over carpets, grass, marble-so this is what you should be looking towards with your Mother. If you care about your Mother this much then you should be concentrating on earning and building your reward-you may have opportunities to do more than your Mother had time to do. When you pray on behalf of your Mother-like reading a Surah for her, she will know of this.
16. The reason why a lot of people won’t see the dead as they keep on thinking of their relationships with them more and get led astray-it would be foolish and they would wish to keep seeing them.
17. There are ranks and favourites with Allah -this is also what the west has distorted, saying you can’t have favourites. When even Satan was jealous of Prophet Adam peace be upon him, the brothers of Prophet Yusuf peace be upon him being jealous. At the time of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him he said he will be giving this flag to someone that Allah and he loves the most-he gave this flag to Ali. The other Muslims didn’t stand there and get upset and jealous and walk away – there is nothing wrong with people doing better.
18. What about if you waste your life and you go to Hell and your Mother in Paradise-and what about if your Mother has another child in Paradise?? Why waste time on saying what could be – wasting your brain’s thinking, it isn’t so you need to concentrate on what you have, and tell others in this world that you love them and be responsible and be there for others instead of wishing that you can do that for a dead person.
19. This world is not for the dead-so no need to think about them and what their lives would have been like.
20. So many Palestinians are dead and you know what they are saying?? All this political nonsense-people should just be looking towards the Day of Judgement. They don’t need people’s sympathies. People need to be kind yes for the good of their own souls. If you don’t, then you will never have the opportunity to be kind to others.
21. In Hell, those won’t be able to get their prayers answered-this is the biggest thing they lose and of course they will never have the opportunity to help, be kind to others.
22. You are not being kind to yourself either by being stuck in your life with a dead person.
23. The Day of Judgement is the most important day of your life, as everything you do is for that Day to look at where you can be forever. So, you need to check what would you be saying on the Day of Judgement?? Your Mother will not be agreeing with your thinking.
24. This is where the west are corrupt, they are not religious, but they have elevated their love above Allah’s. The angels are not praising their love in Heaven -it doesn’t open the gates of Heaven or Paradise. You hear bizarre mentioning of this person is looking down on me etc. Here, it’s always about them being in the centre. They turn away from Allah who created them and all the food they eat-and make a big deal about themselves-well there partners and parents will not care about them.
25. This is why the Muslims have a difference of behaviour-we don’t waste time and ask people to look at us, when we give to charity we are asking them to look towards Allah and not to us, but there are those that want to have an emotional reaction to show how much they meant to that person -this is wrong.
26. Islam is not corrupted and going to be changed by people’s emotions – this is where I can comfortably say your Mother will not be caring about your emotional state-as it means nothing (she won’t be happy-but as everyone belongs to Allah it is not for her to think about and dwell on-in Heaven that is not their place to to interfere as you are responsible for your own relationship with Allah). What will mean something is when you pray and do good.