format_quote Originally Posted by
Symbfrk
Hello there, uhm, to be very honest, I don't know where to start describing what I want to but let me try:
Actually I always wanted to be a good Muslim but never succeeded because I never took Islam seriously due to my laziness and ignorance. I always have had faith in Allah but with ZERO Islamic activity, be it physical or mental. Basically I've been a SO-CALLED Muslim for most of my life. I am 21. A person filled with sins, especially with the most common one (It can be watched on Internet). A few years ago (2009) I decided to become a practical Muslim and change my life because I got really tired of the sin I mentioned. It was really HARD to control it but I thought enough is ENOUGH. I decided to change this and the only way I thought its going to be possible is to swear to God that I will never do it AND put a condition as well that IF I ever do it God may ruin my life. While I was about to swear I felt that I need a something more on to keep my self from doing it again and placed my hand on the holy book of Quraan that I won't do it no matter what. Things were going great, I started praying and stuff till 1 day the craving, the evil took over me, it was just too freaking much I fought but couldn't resist and BOOM I did it again.. My lord after that I felt like HELL like everything is over. I started feeling so bad I can't describe in words. I decided not to go to Mosque because I no longer had the power to face Allah... I stopped everything Islam and came back to where I started from, a sinful person. Things started getting worse in my life, and my mind continuously told me that its the curse of Allah because I didn't keep my words.. Things got so bad that I actually wanted to suicide but then the fear that I will be thrown into hell kept me from doing it. I decided to say 'bye' to real life and started spending my time on computer (games/Internet) Day/Night. I Ruined my educational carrier, boycotted going outside and ruined my health as well. I have multiple health issues. Now after about 4 years I want another chance from God, I want my life back, I want to live and enjoy this precious gift of life God blessed me with. I want to try becoming a good Muslim again. My questions are:
1. After what I did, is there still hope for me? Will Allah almighty forgive all what I did and revoke his curse?
2. If so, where should I start from? What steps should I perform so that Allah forgives me?
I mean is there any special method through which one seeks forgiveness?
3. My health issues are the ones which aren't chronic BUT bothers me alot (tinnitus, double-vision, myopia etc) and I believe that I fell victim to them because I didn't keep my words AND I really disappointed my parents too. If I change is there any chance that these problems may faint? It sounds stupid I agree but most of the doctors son't even acknowledge these issues so my best hope is prayer..
A detailed reply will be very much appreciated!
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,
My Brother it is clear that Allah is wanting to guide you so that you may become closer to him. It is our souls desire that we feed it regularly. What is the food of the soul? It is the remembrance of Allah! The more we remember Allah the more our heart will awaken and feel the desire to get closer to Allah. So my brother my sincere advice to you is to remember Allah no matter what you are doing. Whether you are at School. College, University, working, walking, running, in the gym, with family, friends or colleagues. Remember Allah. If we remember Allah in a small gathering then he will remember us in a FAR bigger and better gathering!
Imaan (faith) will always fluctuate. The example of iman is like that of water in a bottle. When you tip it over then the speed at which the water goes out of the bottle is how quickly imaan goes out from our hearts. Therefore we must keep making effort on our imaan. Without making an effort and maintaining our imaan then it will become rusty just like a car has to be serviced and maintained in order for it to be in good working condition.
So if you really want to increase your imaan and get closer to Allah then it will require constant effort. Of course we will trip and fall during this journey. No one is immune from tripping and falling into error and sin. This life is a constant battle and struggle. The path to Jannah is meant to be difficult because if it was so easy then what is the point and purpose of this life? Allah tells us we were created to toil and struggle. So rest assured that you are not the only person grappling with the constant struggle which is life. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, "Every son of Adam is a sinner, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
Allah Most High created us and He knows our natures. He knows that we are weak and prone to error and sin. He knows that we are faced with temptations everyday of our lives.
Yet, He is the Most Merciful and the Most Clement. In the words of Allah the Most High, "Say: 'O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Turn ye to our Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped."
(Az-Zumar, 39:53-54)
Allah's mercy, compassion and forgiveness are all encompassing and his mercy is one of his most important and significant qualities of the Almighty in the Qur’an, as well as in the saying and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh).
In a Hadith Qudsi Allah states: "My mercy prevails over My wrath."
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said that Allah, the Almighty, says: Whosoever does a good deed, will have (reward) ten times like it and I add more; and whosoever does an evil, will have the punishment like it or I will forgive (him); and whosoever approaches Me by one span, I will approach him by one cubit; and whosoever approaches Me by one cubit, I approach him by one fathom, and whosoever comes to Me walking, I go to him running; and whosoever meets Me with an earth-load of sins without associating anything with Me, I meet him with forgiveness like that. (Sahih Muslim)
Subhanallah look at the mercy of Allah. All he wants is for us to take small steps unto him and he will do better by running to us. That is how much Allah wants us to get closer to him. What a truly loving Lord who wants nothing but the best for us.
Approximately 113 chapters of the Holy Qur’an begin with: "In the name of Allah the Most-Compassionate; the Most-Merciful".
This is a constant reminder to all who read the Qur’an of the great mercy, compassion and forgiveness of almighty Allah. So no matter how much we trip and fall into sin and constantly fail in our daily lives, we must never despair but we must have resolve and ask of Allah freely and abundantly for his mercy and forgiveness and be remorseful and have full intention not to commit such sins again.
Allah Most High gives us countless opportunities to repent. We must avail ourselves before it is too late. Alhamdulillah, you're fully aware of this fact. So why not do something good for your heart and your soul and turn to Allah in true repentance? None of us knows when we will be called back to our Creator. So don't let another minute pass.
Alhamdulillah, you still have the gift of youth. So take advantage of it. According to a saying of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, "Take advantage of five things before five others occur. Your youth before you grow old; your health before you become sick, your wealth before you become poor, your leisure before you become busy, and your life before you die."
So many of us put off change and repentance until old age or bad health. But no time is better than the present. Every second that is going by will NEVER come back and therefore being wasted.
Who is to say we will live another day let alone living until old age? Who is to say we will live until the evening? Or until the morning? How many who were alive last year are not with us anymore?
Therefore we must be truly repentant for our sins. True repentance is repentance that brings you closer to your Lord and further from the sin. True repentance means that you sincerely and diligently take the means to move away from this sin. You get to the point where even the idea of committing this sin is loathsome. That's what you should strive for. So we should constantly ask for forgiveness every single day.
So my brother we must wake ourselves up from the deception of this world which has put a veil over our eyes. We must know our purpose in this life and put our efforts into achieving our ultimate goal which is eternal salvation. We must also have a strong desire to get closer to Allah and from there make the required effort. Allah gives us many opportunities in life but we keep letting them pass. Next thing we realise that years have gone and we are still stuck in the same hole. But if we look at our lives, then we can see that we make much effort in worldly matters like looking for a job, getting a nice car, house etc. But what about working for beautiful palaces in Jannah? In Jannah an average person will have an area bigger than a planet let alone just a big house. But only in the Hereafter will we realise how much we have lost.
Ibn Masood said: “I have never regretted anything as a day spent of my life without doing good deeds.”
How many days have we had like this where we have completely wasted them? On the day of judgement we would want to go back so that we could gain the HUGE rewards that are available just for saying Subhanallah!
Bilal ibn ass’d once said: if we are asked: ‘‘do you want to die?’’, we answer ‘‘No’’; and if we are asked ‘‘why?’’ we reply ‘‘in order to repent ad do good deeds’’. However if it’s said to us ‘‘Ok then do good deeds’’ we say: ‘‘Yes I will do’’; we keep working for this life everyday and postponing working for the hereafter.
Therefore we CANNOT afford to waste a single second in this life wasting it on that which will give us no benefit in this world or the next. Once our focus becomes the hereafter then NOTHING else will matter. Even things that we do in this world like work, study, look after and provide for family, parents, wife children etc will be like worship for us because we will do them for the pleasure of Allah. Even going to the toilet can be a worship if done in accordance with the Sunnah. Our WHOLE life from sleeping, eating, going to sleep and even breathing can become reward and worship with the right intentions so let us not waste a second more.
In the hereafter, when people are rewarded according to their deeds in this life, he wishes if he can go back to this life so he can do good deeds as he has experienced the hardness of punishment.
So we must let go of the love we have for this world as it is short, temporary and can end at any second. Instead we must desire the Hereafter. Our priority should be to gain high ranks in the next world which is forever rather than high ranks in this world which may end at any secon. Then what will we do with our amassed wealth in our graves? The only thing we will take with us in the grave is the white sheet that covers our bodies!
How thankful are we to Allah? Our of BILLIONS of people he gave us Imaan. He didn't have to! He could have created us in ANY time period in history like in the dark ages or in the medieval times or some other terrible time uncivilised time period but he created us in a relatively safe environment in one of the richest countries in the world with luxury, food on a plate everyday, anything we want and all we have to do is look at the unfortunate people who have NOTHING and we will truly realise how lucky we really are and that Allah has given us EVERYTHING!
How lucky we are that we have our sight, hearing, limbs. Ive seen people rolling around on the streets because they have no limbs. We have our health and so much more than other people yet we still moan when something minor goes wrong.
We should thank Allah! Ask and beg of him for forgiveness for how unappreciative we are. Even shaythan said to Allah that there will only be a few slaves of Allah who will be thankful. So why are we amongst the unthankful? Has Allah not given us enough that we don't even thank him? How do we thank him? Not just by a thank you here and there in one Dua once in a blue moon. But by showing our appreciation to him in our actions. fulfilling our obligations unto him and doing that which pleases him and refraining from that which displeases him.
Also in order for us to remain thankful then we should constantly imagine and contemplate over the infinite favours that Allah the exalted the majestic has done for us and the everything he has given us and only then we will ALWAYS remain so thankful and appreciative of him because he has done more than we can ever imagine. Even if we were to sit there counting the favours Allah has done for us for billions of years then we would not be able to because he has done far too much than we can ever comprehend.
Even though we sin day in and day out and are so unappreciative and unthankful, STILL our generous Lord provides for us, nourishes us, sustains us and gives us EVERYTHING we need EVERY SINGLE DAY OF OUR LIVES! He remains patient waiting for us to go towards him. So when will we take heed? When it is too late? How many opportunities have passed us but still Allah remains patient. But we must know that our luck can run out at any second and then we have no leg to stand on after that because when we face Allah on the day of judgement and he asks us WHY did you not turn to me when I gave you chance after chance, and we will have NOTHING to say to him! We will wish we could turn into dust that is how ashamed we will feel! So why do we keep treating this life like it is a joke? We do not have long left my brothers and sisters. When I say we could die at any moment then this is not a cheap gimmick. We REALLY could die at any second!
With regards to your health then my brother surely this is a test for you. Though it may seem strange to us but Allah tests those he wants goodness for. If he wants to reward a person and wants themcloser to him then he will test them to see if they are worthy. What he is looking for is patience and perseverance through the hardship or trial. We are tested in many ways mainly health, wealth and our children. In your case it is your health. Consider the following short examples of patience through trials in the life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam):
‘Ata ibn Rabah related that he heard Ibn ‘Abbas say: “Shall I show you a woman of Paradise?”I said: “Yes, indeed.” He said: “A black woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: ‘I suffer from epileptic fits, and because of these, (at times) my body becomes uncovered. Would you invoke Allah, the Exalted One, to cure me of this disease? ‘ The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: ‘If you wish, you can be patient and you will attain Paradise (for this suffering). But if you prefer, I will pray to Allah, the Exalted, to cure you of it?’ The woman said: ‘I will be patient,’ then added: ‘I become uncovered (when I have fits), so invoke Allah for me that I do not become uncovered. ‘ So the Prophet, peace be upon him, prayed for her.”
[Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #1a]
Story of ‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair
‘Urwah Ibn Al Zubair had an operation, and the doctor amputated his leg. One friend came to visit him. ‘Urwah thought that the fried came to pacify him for the loss of his leg. So ‘Urwah told the visitor: If you came to give me condolence for the loss of my leg, I already submitted to Allah with patience to reward me for its loss. The guest told him, I came to inform you that your son fell down in a stable, and the animals stepped over him, and he died one hour ago. ‘Urwah said: O Allah! You took one child, and left me many…You took one organ from my body, and left me many organs…O Allah! You tested me with my body, and you were kind to leave me with good health. You tested me with the loss of my son, but you were kind in leaving me the rest of my children.
The greater the hardship, or trial or tribulation the greater the reward. The greater the difficulty the greater the reward. The greater the trial or tribulation or difficulty that you are put through the greater the reward will be for you and for me from Allah. Allah the Exalted states in Surah Al-Zumar:
"Verily the patient will get their reward without it being estimated, without it being calculated. It can't be counted. O*ne is waiting for reward, for that o*ne who is patient."
The Reward of going through terrible trials and hardships immense!
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah Allah's Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "On the Day of Resurrection, when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world."
(Al-Tirmidhi #1570)
Therefore we must realise that the bigger trials and hardships we go through in this life then the more rewards we will gain in the hereafter as long as we are patient and are constantly turning towards Allah.
In the hereafter when we see the rewards of going through trials and hardships then we will all wish that we wen through the WORST trials possible for the longest amount of time!
Always think about death and the Hereafter:
So we must always think about death and the Hereafter. This is what will wake us up from the deception of this life and make us realise that we came from Allah and we will certainly return to him. We must keep reminding ourselves that we are only created for one purpose and one purpose only. That is to worship Allah.
Do we not want to be of those lucky ones who will get to experience that which is far better than Jannah? Do we not want to see his beautiful face? Subhanallah NOTHING is better than that:
Meeting with Allah:
http://youtu.be/ukBX2TvfyQE
But we will ONLY be of those lucky few if we make effort on our imaan and fulfil our obligations unto Allah and strive to do that which pleases him and refrain from that which anger or displeases him. After we see his beautiful face that is when we will truly realise how deserving Allah is of our worship Allah!
Allah has not asked much from us in this life compared to what he's got on offer for us in the hereafter! He does not need our worship. But we certainly need him! All he has asked of us is us for full obedience to him for such a short amount of time- (70 years to the most) and in return for our obedience he has promised us ETERENITY of bliss!
This could be our last chance!
Therefore we should firstly thank Allah that he has given us such an amazing unique opportunity to change ourselves for the better and for us to get closer to him as NOTHING in this life is better than being close to our beloved creator. This is a favour upon us like no other. But this my be our last chance to change. We may well not see another Ramadan. We may never get an opportunity to change ourselves for the better. There are only a few days left but these days and nights are the best of all and there is a night which is better than anyother. We must search for it in the remaining nights of Ramadan and ask and beg of Allah to wipe our slates clean and there is no reason why he would not forgive the sins his slaves who sincerely repent.
We keep procrastinating and deceiving ourselves into thinking "I got plenty of time, I'm still only young with my whole life ahead of me". Or we want to sort our careers out first, or go Hajj or Umrah first or do this first or that first.
But how can we guarantee that we will be alive to see tomorrow let alone next week, next month, next year or the next few decades? How many of us know of people who have passed away this year of all ages, situations and circumstances? How many of us know of Muslims who did not make it to Ramadan? Therefore how can we guarantee that we will be alive next year to see another Ramadan and have another amazing opportunity like this?
Utter regret if we do not take this opportunity now!
The fact is that we CANNOT afford to miss this unique opportunity. This is an opportunity for redemption. A chance to change our lives for the better forever. All of us who know we have to change and want to change then this is that opportunity. If we don't take this opportunity now then we WILL regret it forever!
When we see what we could have had in the Hereafter we will beg Allah: "Please oh Lord I did not know, I was too consumed into the dunya (Worldly life). Please send me back so that I may worship you properly and live my life devoted to you."
But we will be rejected because we only have this ONE chance! Once this chance is over then we will NEVER be able to get it back again. Therefore we CANNOT miss this one opportunity to change our lives forever. If we ever wanted to have a fresh start and get ALL of our sins wiped out then this is our chance.
If we ever wanted to gain immense rewards to fill up our good deed accounts then this is our chance.
If we ever wanted the chance to renew & strengthen our imaan (faith) and get closer to Allah then this is our chance!
So we CANNOT afford to miss this opportunity for we may never get this chance again!
So let us make the commitment!
So we must make a firm commitment to change. We must look at ourselves and this life and think what is the point of chasing the worldly life when it may end any second? Will we take our possessions and hoards of wealth with us? The fact is this life compared to the Hereafter is like comparing a droplet to an ocean. There is absolutely NO comparison!
Therefore let us at this moment cleanse ourselves and fall into prostration (Sajda) to Almighty Allah and cry and beg of him for forgiveness. Let us ask of him and I promise you he will never turn you away. He is waiting for us to turn to him so patiently. So how can we make him wait any longer. How can we risk losing this opportunity that we may NEVER get back again.
Therefore let us repent for our past and present sins right this moment and make a firm commitment to Allah that we will devote ourselves to him and to his worship and that we will try our best to fulfil our obligations unto him and that we will try our best to do everything that pleases him and avoid anything that may anger or displease him.
Then let us devote ourselves in worship in this blessed month and cleanse our heart and souls with the worship and remembrance of Allah and recitation of the Qur'an and glorification of our Lord. Let us control our tongues and stop or significantly limit anything which may hinder our worship such as TV, social networks such as Facebook and Twitter and anything else that may waste a precious second in the last few blessed days and nights of this month which are the best of all!
Let us worship Allah with full sincerity, hope for immense reward, forgiveness and mercy from Allah for an entire lifetime of sins and make a firm commitment that we will change ourselves for the better for the rest of the year as Ramadan is for life not just for one month.
We must remember that our time is very short and that this may well be our very last Ramadan as it was the last Ramadan for so many who thought they would make it!
So let us grab this opportunity with both hands! If we walk towards Allah then he will run towards us!
May Allah enable us to make the best of these last few days and nights of this most blessed month and enable us to gain the maximum rewards an so that we may change our lives for the better FOREVER! Ameen
Please remember me in your dua's and ask me ANYTHING you want and i will try my best to always help you as your brother in Islam. Wa Salaam