The "SECRET" Of Happy Married Life :D

[Plz Answer Me]

The "SECRET" Of Happy Married Life is still a "SECRET" ;D

[Snel]

Not that funny, I want to get married and have a good life with my future wife. I believe that if the man and the woman takes their responsibilities as muslims they can live have a happy together. If there is something that we've done wrong then we have to try to fix it.

First thing I can think about: Men and women need to demand for religious partners that carry Islamic values.

[Plz Answer Me]

Not that funny, I want to get married and have a good life with my future wife. I believe that if the man and the woman takes their responsibilities as muslims they can live have a happy together. If there is something that we've done wrong then we have to try to fix it.

First thing I can think about: Men and women need to demand for religious partners that carry Islamic values.

No! No! I hope you are joking.:p

[ardianto]

There is no secret of a happy married life. As long as both parties understand the meaning of marriage, can respect and appreciate their spouse, have intention to build a good marriage life, and the most important is always grateful to what Allah has given to them, In Shaa Allah, they would feel happy in their marriage life.

When I got married in October 1994 I promised myself that I would maintain my marriage until death do us part. My wife too. There were many things that happened in our marriage life, but we always tried to maintain our marriage and never thought about divorce. We learned to understand each other, we learned to always grateful to what Allah had given to us.

Tuesday afternoon, June 11, 2013. That was the time when my wife left me forever. She lost in her struggle against cancer. But she won in her struggle to build a happy married life. Few days later I found a letter that she had written prior to the end of her life. She realized that her life would soon end and she could not avoid it. But she still grateful because Allah had given her a happy married life.

That is the last letter she had written for me.

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[glo]

As long as both parties understand the meaning of marriage, can respect and appreciate their spouse, have intention to build a good marriage life, and the most important is always grateful to what Allah has given to them, In Shaa Allah, they would feel happy in their marriage life.

Amen to that, ardianto.

Mutual respect, care for each other and willingness to try to understand each other are necessary.
Also an appreciation for what the other person contributes to the relationship. And the ability to forgive and move on.
And the constant prayer for God's protection and guidance and blessing.

[glo]

Ardianto, your marriage must have been very precious. I hope and pray that you have been okay this Ramadan and will be this Eid.

[Plz Answer Me]

There is no secret of a happy married life. As long as both parties understand the meaning of marriage, can respect and appreciate their spouse, have intention to build a good marriage life, and the most important is always grateful to what Allah has given to them, In Shaa Allah, they would feel happy in their marriage life.

When I got married in October 1994 I promised myself that I would maintain my marriage until death do us part. My wife too. There were many things that happened in our marriage life, but we always tried to maintain our marriage and never thought about divorce. We learned to understand each other, we learned to always grateful to what Allah had given to us.

Tuesday afternoon, June 11, 2013. That was the time when my wife left me forever. She lost in her struggle against cancer. But she won in her struggle to build a happy married life. Few days later I found a letter that she had written prior to the end of her life. She realized that her life would soon end and she could not avoid it. But she still grateful because Allah had given her a happy married life.

That is the last letter she had written for me.

Oh! innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala give her the place in jannatul firdous. Ameen!
You are great! May the lord bless you.
Some says having a successful marriage is impossible. But I think it is possible. your are a good example :)

Jazakallah!

[Muhaba]

the secret of a happy married life is empathy. if you're lucky to marry empathetic spouse then you'll have no problems.

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

My dear brother Ardianto

May Allah show to you new wife one day. As good as your last one was.

:thankyou:

[Iceee]

Salaam.

I'm not married so I don't know the secret to a happy married life. When I asked my parents, they just smiled and my Mom said,
This hadeeth was narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”

May Allah show to you new wife one day. As good as your last one was.

You should refrain from saying this in the future, Inshallah. Allah gave this brother a wonderful and loving wife who stayed with him as long as she could, showing him love and many other emotions. The family has children. And the death is still recent.

You will never forget your first... for this brother, his first wife.

It's best to pray for him and his family to continue after the death of the wife/mother. Not for what was mentioned, Inshallah.

[sister herb]

You will never forget your first... for this brother, his first wife.
It's best to pray for him and his family to continue after the death of the wife/mother. Not for what was mentioned, Inshallah.

Salam alaykum

I know very well as I am widow too. I know how hard it is at the first months.

:embarrass

[~Zaria~]

The "SECRET" Of Happy Married Life :D

Taqwa and compatibilty

'Taqwa' - because being conscious of Allah (subhanawataála) is the strongest guard against hurting another person through dishonesty, disrespect, deceit, etc.
Even though there will be temptations and there will be difficulties faced within the marriage, those who are striving to be conscious of Allah at all times, will be so concerned about the reaction of Allah if they were to fall into any type of sin, that it automatically means that the rights of their partner will be protected.

'Compatibility' - both in worldly terms (emotions, interests, communication/ language, at least some physical attraction, etc) and spiritual (where both parties are interested in seeking deeni knowledge, improving their relationship with Allah and love for Muhammad (sallalahu alaihi wasalam), and both are striving for the aakhirah and are willing to make sacrifices for it.).
When 2 individuals are on completely different wave-lengths with respect to the above, then it becomes very difficult for them to really 'connect' on a deeper level.
There will always be a 'void' that needs to be filled as a result of lack of compatibility.
It may be possible that people can change within a marriage.....but one should never enter a marriage with the intention to change the other.

There may be other factors that play a role in having a successful/ happy marriage, but for myself, these 2 are the most important (everything else being secondary.)

May Allah (subhanawataála) bless all those seeking marriage with righteous and compatible spouses.
Ameen

:wa:

[Plz Answer Me]

Taqwa and compatibilty

'Taqwa' - because being conscious of Allah (subhanawataála) is the strongest guard against hurting another person through dishonesty, disrespect, deceit, etc.
Even though there will be temptations and there will be difficulties faced within the marriage, those who are striving to be conscious of Allah at all times, will be so concerned about the reaction of Allah if they were to fall into any type of sin, that it automatically means that the rights of their partner will be protected.

'Compatibility' - both in worldly terms (emotions, interests, communication/ language, at least some physical attraction, etc) and spiritual (where both parties are interested in seeking deeni knowledge, improving their relationship with Allah and love for Muhammad (sallalahu alaihi wasalam), and both are striving for the aakhirah and are willing to make sacrifices for it.).
When 2 individuals are on completely different wave-lengths with respect to the above, then it becomes very difficult for them to really 'connect' on a deeper level.
There will always be a 'void' that needs to be filled as a result of lack of compatibility.
It may be possible that people can change within a marriage.....but one should never enter a marriage with the intention to change the other.

There may be other factors that play a role in having a successful/ happy marriage, but for myself, these 2 are the most important (everything else being secondary.)

May Allah (subhanawataála) bless all those seeking marriage with righteous and compatible spouses.
Ameen

:wa:

:sl:

Wah sister zaria wah what a post.:) Are you married??

[~Zaria~]

I am not my sister.

But trials in life have enabled me to see life through different eyes. All praise is due to Allah.

:jz:

[Snel]

No! No! I hope you are joking.

I mean if marriage can be so bad why not take precaution first.

[Plz Answer Me]

I mean if marriage can be so bad why not take precaution first.

Which kind of precaution.???

[Snel]

Which kind of precaution.???

It's always good to open discussions about life etc. with the potential partner to see what kind of person it is. You may find out a lot of things that you didn't know about at first. Some good and some bad. Most importantly if the person has a property that you don't like you should always open up a discussion about that. If that doesn't help and the issue has to do with the deen, it's better not to move on imo.

The kind of issues I'm thinking about are: Sharaf & Geera from the man, Hijab (women), the family economy, will the man be a good person to you?

[Plz Answer Me]

It's always good to open discussions about life etc. with the potential partner to see what kind of person it is. You may find out a lot of things that you didn't know about at first. Some good and some bad. Most importantly if the person has a property that you don't like you should always open up a discussion about that. If that doesn't help and the issue has to do with the deen, it's better not to move on imo.

The kind of issues I'm thinking about are: Sharaf & Geera from the man, Hijab (women), the family economy, will the man be a good person to you?

Brother!!! who has a time to think tooo much before marriage! :D

[Snel]

Brother!!! who has a time to think tooo much before marriage!

Well, since the home consist of more than a bedroom.... :rolleyes:

[Plz Answer Me]

Well, since the home consist of more than a bedroom.... :rolleyes:

What??? Explain a bit more. :skeleton:

[Snel]

What??? Explain a bit more. :skeleton:

What I meant was that life is not all about sex. Ofc, one could go for just the looks, but as the prophet Muhammad (saws) mentioned, the deen is more important.

[Snel]

"A woman is married for four reasons, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her piety. So you should marry the pious woman otherwise you will be losers."

Narrated by Abu Huraira, in Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim (Book 62:27, Marriage) (translation)

[Plz Answer Me]

What I meant was that life is not all about sex. Ofc, one could go for just the looks, but as the prophet Muhammad (saws) mentioned, the deen is more important.

Okay but you brothers need to understand first. ;D

[Plz Answer Me]

The "SECRET" Of Happy Married Life :D

Happy marriage life is not impossible if a husband do all house hold chores
Mop the floor
Mend the clothes
Wash the dishes
Cook the food
and serve it to his wife :)

[ardianto]

Some says having a successful marriage is impossible. But I think it is possible.

Success is not something that happen automatically. But this is the result of an effort. If a student want to graduate with high scores, he must try to study as good as he can. If a farmer want to get good harvest, he must try to farm as good as he can.

And if you want to get a happy married life, so you must try to build a married life where you and your husband feel comfortable in it. You can learn how to build a happy marriage since now. And then start a marriage with intention to build a marriage that sakinah, mawadah, wa rahmah

Sakinah. The husband and wife feel secure and comfortable with their spouse and with the marriage itself.

Mawadah. Husband and wife love each other, have special feeling to each other, and always want to feel a togetherness.

Rahmah. Husband and wife care to each other and have a feeling "his/her happiness is my happiness too".

Yes, build a happy married life is not impossible. Every couple can build happy married life if they have intention for it and always try to do their best effort.

:)

[ardianto]

Amen to that, ardianto.

Mutual respect, care for each other and willingness to try to understand each other are necessary.
Also an appreciation for what the other person contributes to the relationship. And the ability to forgive and move on.
And the constant prayer for God's protection and guidance and blessing.

One thing that made me grateful is easiness to get friends. I have many friends, some of them are very close to me.

Marriage is different than male and male friendship, of course. But actually there is a similarity in these two things, human and human relationship. I have learned much about mutual respect, care and understand each other, in my close friendship with male friends.

Men are different than women, of course. But I also have learned much about women nature through noticing my sisters and my friend sisters.

Ardianto, your marriage must have been very precious. I hope and pray that you have been okay this Ramadan and will be this Eid.

I'm okay, Alhamdulillah. Thanks, Glo. :)

the secret of a happy married life is empathy. if you're lucky to marry empathetic spouse then you'll have no problems.

Yes, it's true.

[ardianto]

Salam alaykum

My dear brother Ardianto

May Allah show to you new wife one day. As good as your last one was.

:thankyou:

Wa'alaikumsalam

Honestly, in my wife's last days she told me several time that she didn't mind if I get married again after she has 'gone'. But currently I don't want to thinking about it. Now I just want to focus to take care my children.

I'm a widower with children. The main condition if a woman want to marry me is she should able to accept my children, and my children do not mind to accept her as their mother.

[greenhill]

Hard this!

I just looked for someone compatible with me. Must have certain qualities that can compliment me and not be at odds. If we a re poles apart (apart from faith) it could not work in the long run.

I have listed down certain qualities I would look for in another thread (I think - about Ideal Wife) which I put down for me personally, might not be for anyone else. Of course belief in Islam is priority, but I have not listed that as it is already a prerequisite. But the list is about the person's qualities additional to religion.

Peace to all marriages :D