Advice on abuse and family issues....

[shhann77]

I don't know how to deal with this...ive been abused by my family in many ways..I mean oppression civil rights etc.


I live in the US and they are from Pakistan but when I hit my 20's they just got weird/crazy and have done terrible things to me. NO one has helped me out...ive gone to people trying ot get help and its like everyone turns away from me. im a female...who lives alone..and everyone seems to be glad im in a bad position. my family is very controlling and weird and they are only like this with ME...not with anyone else or my siblings and im the oldest.



its getting bad now and they won't stop their abuse...they have even done illegal things to me...such as fraud or other things. They have stolen 10,000 from me and put me in debt too. They will not stop their abuse and its weird that everyone just literally turns to my mother and even helps her out with this abuse?


im a GOOD muslim pious and im shocked that no one will help me out...and because no one has its like I stay stuck in the gutter...I have no friends and no one and its just a weird reality. I only have my family to turn to and they are my worst enemies and they try to control and belittle and abuse me in different ways. They all seem to enjoy oppressing me and im strongly against any kind of abuse or bullying...and I would defend ANYONE yet its weird that NO ONE has helped me out. even family friends have just ignored me or ran back to my mother to tell her. No one even calls me or tries to be friends with me...its weird they call my mother and they're all friends with her??? though she is one of my biggest enemies....I have still remained KIND to my family despite their non-stop abuse....and they will assist in financially supporting me a little bit.



I have tried to convine them to help me get married...because of course it would be a great thing for me but they have done nothing to help me and my mother doesn't want me to get married...my mother is like a shaytan...she is SO evil it's shocking the evil things she has done to me and my life. these people pray five times a day...and are nice to others yet they have abused me horribly. my sister is even a prominent person and has done all kinds of charity work. I have prayed to God to please help me for 12 years now...assist in helping me get out of this situation but nothing happens...it's weird as if my abusers are given all this POWER and more good happens to them while more bad keeps happening to me. even meeting someone would help me tremendously yet I cant meet anyone to get married to. I don't know what to do and where to get help from. I am alone and it feels as if even God won't help me.




I don't understand WHY all of these people have been allowed to do all these terrible things to me..and my life. I have been through so much trauma it's ridiculous...I mean SO much suffering trauma at the hands of those who have oppressed me. and I don't know why they are doing this to ME when I am such a good person and strong good female. even family friends have assisted my mother and parents in doing terrible things to my life....its been a shocking surreal experience, and for me I want toget justice but I am SO scared b/c I am totally alone.... I don't understand why God has allowed SO many people to do SO MANY bad things to ONE INNOCENT woman??? it's crazy..it defies anything ive ever heard of in my life.... I have prayed and prayed to God to please help me...but I feel I get no help just more evil weird people come into my life.





Everyone that comes into my life does similar to me..tries to control or oppress me or just doesn't treat me well. I treat EVERYONE good and respect everyone...this paradox is so strange to me...why someone as good as me who does only good, is getting all this abuse and mistreatment on this major level. I used to think I was a saint or something for having to go through this much suffering... if I told my whole story it would be so extreme people couldn't bear it..... I have had to survive all of this totally ALONE...with no friends no spouse nothing and people just drop out of my life like flies... no one stays no one is my friend...I have ZERO friends in the world except for all my abusers/enemies/family and they continue to have morew and more power to control abuse oppress me. I just pray to God to give me strength against my abusers....give me SOMEONE one person..a friend a husband anything but I get nothing but more loneliness and abuse..... it is so bad that even a healer said no one could have survived what ive been through.




I am educated, smart, attractive, a good muslim and have many things going for me but only these bad things keep happening to me. I don't know how to deal with my family situation b/c everyone has brainwashed me into feeling BAD for hating my family but they have committed evils against me...I am so STRONGLY against evil....its a shame that I am the ONE being victimized to these extremes. iw ant justice/vengeance of course ie going to court and suing but I was so scared b/c ive been through SO much trauma....why would God allow this much abuse to ONE good female??




I don't get it...I grew up the same as my brother/sister everyone I knew. only good things have happened to others while my life has been this tragic hell.... and it just doesn't change....I don't know where to get support from and when I tell people my story they all turn away from me too..no one will help me....its just so crazy I don't know what to make of it....

[Signor]

Assalamu Alaikum

The first thought came in my mind after reading this post"You abused the word Abuse".Can you please write about thE problems you are facing instead of ranting(mum taking 10,000 bucks is not a problem).Maybe we can help by Allah's will.

Also If you want company,why not find a company here?Start interacting and conversating people on IB and If Allah's will you will be able befriend a Sister or two.

Be Positive,With every difficulty there is ease

Regards

[Abz2000]

May Allah make good easy for you sis,
I think I know the feeling of shock and helplessness one feels when they realize that those they thought to be their "own" are really enemies, enemies of oneself and enemies of the truth, and helpers of the enemies of Allah.

It did me good though, what I did was close up and start studying Islam (and the previous scriptures) with even more determination and will, it maybe was Allah showing me that there was NONE other than Allah - -and the true believers who could be considered friend/ally, and that there is no fleeing from Allah.
It opened up a totally different way of strong thought and support.

I actually left a banner I had in my study room in London which I sometimes wish I had brought with me. it had a silhouette of a man standing in a stall working alone and a verse from the book of Isaiah :

And I looked, and there was none to help;
and I wondered that there was none to uphold:
therefore mine own arm brought salvation unto me;
and my fury, it upheld me.
Isaiah 63:5

Allah purifies and strengthens us with different types of fitnah, and if we have the will and determination to achieve the good in this life and best in the next, the tribulations will only slice away the crap and leave the cut diamond, cut out of hard work and suffering, not something to lightly let go of.

Reading the seerah of the messenger pbuh was a huge means of consolation as our sufferings pale in comparison to what the prophets pbut had to endure, and the way Allah steered the outcomes strengthened the faith immensely at the time.
Surah Ad-Duha was the strongest form of consolation I felt, it was like everytime I read it, I felt like I was holding on to a strong, caring and generous hand while crossing the tiny street.

With the family, I still try to keep good relations despite the knowledge in the back of my mind, do my part and hope that Allah creates the best way. We just have to keep our hope in Allah strong.
Not all rewards materialise in this short lived world, although some do by Allahs mercy.

The ironic part however, was that I felt my iman at its strongest when i felt the most persecuted, you feel you need Allah more. Most powerful and filthy rich leaders feel they have no need of Allah, yet our dua is most powerful when we are weak and oppressed. Never feel that Allah will desert you, He has promised not to and His promise never returns empty (unlike the deceits and false promises of Shaytaan).

Another benefit I took from the worst injustices is that I knew how it felt to be messed about with and persecuted and would think twice before doing the same things if I was in a position of authority over others.

People usually support those they can identify with or understand best, and isn't it better to be a supporter of the orphans and oppressed rather than a supporter of the tyrants and proud ones?

I belive i gained - though the gains were more subtle and hidden than the apparent losses. I also got to recognise the people around me.

This wonderful sister posted these ahadith here:
http://islamicsunrays.com/hidden-ble...-and-hardship/

“How amazing is the case of the believer; there is good for him in everything, and this is only so for the believer. If he experiences something pleasant, he is thankful, and that is good for him; and if he comes across adversity, he is patient, and that is good for him.” [Muslim]


Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “For any adversity a Muslim suffers, Allah erases some of his sins, even though it may be no more than a thorn pricking him.” (Related by Al-Bukhari).

Another version of this Hadith is also related by Al-Bukhari on the authority of two of the Prophet’s (pbuh) companions, namely, Abu Saeed Al-Khudri and Abu Hurairah who quote him as saying: “Whatever befalls a Muslim of exhaustion, illness, worry, grief, nuisance or trouble, even though it may be no more than a prick of a thorn, earns him forgiveness by Allah of some of his sins.”


Jabir ibn Abdullah narrated that Allah’s Messenger salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “On the Day of Resurrection, when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world.” (Al-Tirmidhi, 1570)

If we make our lives the property of Allah, He (swt) will take the responsibility of accounting His property, erasing faults and rewarding with the best for good and compensating heavily for losses suffered, no "friendly" accountant could do a better job. ;)

Can you please write about thE problems you are facing instead of ranting

Salamz bro, please go easy, not everyone wants to revisit each nightmare, it's depressing. and people sometimes refrain from elaborating because of how unbelievable/incredible their situation is, they just need to vent their frustrations and feel consolation. We are not judges and won't benefit her by making her revisit every hurt separately. It is however a fact that there are selfish/fearful enemies even amongst the closest of blood ties, who'll sell you out to the enemies of Allah at the slightest hint of themselves suffering for the sake of truth or justice, with no care about what happens to you as long as they can continue to live and work and play without harassment.

Peace

May Allah make us true and righteous in prosperity and in adversity, that is the contented soul which returns to Allah pleased with Him and Him pleased with it. And may Allah let no fitnah change us for the worst, rather make us more determined and resolute.

[shhann77]

salamz abz and thanks a lot....you wrote a lot and I have yet to read all of it but I am sure it is very helpful...and everything you state is so true. it is true that those who suffer or any kind of suffering yes does alleviate sins, however, what about those who suffer in these extreme ways...this is what confuses me.... that this 'level' of suffering...seems to be so extreme and so strange, and with no end to it and no relief? what bothers me too is that ive witnessed, my worst abusers, keep getting more good in life, me getting bad, and worse if I try to complain or do something about it, I seem to be punished more? this morning I spoke with my sister...she was telling me, that I treat my mother badly, and that others have noticed how I tend to "not want to sit next to her" sometimes. I'm thinking to myself and saying to her...how can you say that??? this is my only form of defense for all the abuse she does to me and has done. she has destroyed me....so others somehow think im being mean to her, when in essence, she secretly tortures me and has done horrible things to me and my life and I can't talk back to her otherwise she gets crazy abusive and worse. I attempted to say this even to my sister who began yelling trying to talk over me and wouldn't let me talk because she too has been involved in all the abuse my family has done ot me... their abuse is so bad, they have made me feel guilty for it all, blamed me for it and if I attempt to even retaliate they go crazy and begin calling me names, and try to minimize/deny. My thoughts are...how evil can these people be?? I could never live to commit such atrocities against another human being...and not only do they have no remorse, but they blame me for it deny it and continue to abuse me more..... it shocks me that I have been asking God for help/power for many years and He has given or seems to have given my abusers more power...and leaves me in the gutter...alone with NO ONE except my own abusers/enemies? its scary and weird. I feel as if ive been forced to bond with them...and accept them and I can't seem to get away from them.....or their abuse and all the bad things they have done. this paradox is what is confusing me...im a "good" person, pious would NEVER hurt another person.... and yet God doesn't help me, He helps THEM get more and more. my sister seriously has like 1000 friends in life. I have ZERO friends...and due to all the abuse my family has done to me...everyone can see that I have suffered ...they can see im weak and they either take advantage of me too or run away. where I live too people are unfriendly as well and its hard.... my mother...instead of cousins and others calling or talking ot me...they all ignore me and all call and talk to my mother. instead of ANYONE helping me during these abuses, they all run to my mothe rand give her more power...I don't understand this...its like the work of the devil but why is everyone supporting HER when she is evil and has done evil and not helping me the victim?? not a single person has helped me out...instead people shun me more and help my abuser out...there is something crazy going on and I don't know what to do about it or what it means....no one will help a muslim female who has been through such bad things...who needs help support nothing. instead they want to meet my mother, talk to her and then befriend her and ignore me? I don't know why God wont give ME the power when I deserve it and need it...I have been so oppressed so abused...and im totally alone.... all my abusers are now married....living the life I DREAM of having and I cant seem to meet a husband or meet anyone...it's so crazy and weird. You would think that after 17 years of suffering God would give ME the spouse??? God wo9uld give ME these things so I can say to these people....go to hell and so I can get away from them...yet its SO ironic and odd that he gives THEM more power...and THEM the things I dream of and desire and leaves me in the gutter.... I don't get why this is and what is going on...wouldn't God want to help the ABUSED person the victim the one who has suffered at the hands of these people??? Why isn't GOd helping me at all?

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[shhann77]

yes Abz brother it is so true that the Iman Is at the strongest when you are persecuted.. again thanks for your words of wisdom....when you are suffering..however, I don't get why there aren't limitations on this abuse/persecution. I have been persecuted terribly for 17 years now...it has been SO BAD....I have begged Allah for help and received only more mistreatment abuse suffering, with people coming into my life to abuse/oppress me. I have been told its spiritual warfare, I have jinn/demons, etc and other things which is true but to me its crazy that ther eis no end to this? I used to think after year 5...it would be better...there woul dbe a TIME..my time would finally come? after ALL this suffering....I would get GOOD and an END to this nightmare..however, its so odd that, OTHER people's times come and I witness life passing me by as I suffer more and more. a crazy evil man came into my life too, to torment me and he does black magic and horrid things to me long distance...and I was told that the jinns are using him to destroy me. my mother too has been used as a pawn by the jinn because she is weak/evil and she has been doing evil to me for years. my other family has gotten involved too and many others. and I have been persecuted to such extremes its a weird tragedy. im educated, attractive..good muslim...I seek ONLY to do good and honestly I hate injustice/evil/wrongdoing and would fight against it yet ironically...its ALWAYS happening to me and I am constantly the victim in many many situations...100's and 100's of situations...extreme bizarre things....again I thought it would end...I was told oh ok if you do this this will end. If you say this, do that believe in this...but now its 17 years...and every year it keeps getting worse or staying stagnant. But it NEVER changes...I don't progress. Ive been seeking a spouse for many years..nothing. friends...I get nothing. I am totally alone just being "attacked" terribly...ive been to imams, healers everyone...everyone eventually says...oh the jinns are gone...but they aren't...they only say that bcause they can't get rid of all of this. but this is just on a grand scale the manner in which my life has been destroyed. at one point I thought oh gosh I must be someone great if all these horrible crazy things ar ehappening to me on this scale??? this is just crazy ridiculous...but years later now...im like...no...its nothing...just more and more of this hell....I don't get why God...after me asking for this many years will not help me??? where is the justice...ive witnessed ONLY extreme injustice...and if ieeven ATTEMPT to get justice for myself, more bad happens to me??? I thought God was against oppression evil and injustice...I thought I could fight for myself, bu twhen I try..the abusers win and trump me more and I lose and more bad happens. I was going to write a book of the horrors ive been through....but I can't do that now because it's too much...it was too much 10 years ago and now....its just an aftermath of hell...and I don't understand....why God won't help me..and allows THEM...the evil ones to do SO many evils to me??? why he cant help me get SOME strength to get away....or win or something...and why it seems satan is winning and all these bad people are winning and im suffering....and can't pick myself up b/c im alone....

[shhann77]

I used to say so what ive been through...I don't think anyone would have been able to survive all of this TOTALLY alone...yes with support you can survive things...bu totally alone with only your 'worst enemies' as your only support...its like going to shaytan to get support..these people only want to control abuse destroy me...in fact, what they have done to my life, would drive anyone to suicide or something worse. I have survived terribly due to the hope that one day I will get justice, and that GOd WILL help me yet...I receive no help. Its as if God is testing my faith on major levels...I mean, non-stop trials then more and more trials and that's it then even more..to where im almost LOSING faith in God..it confuses me...God..why would you want someone who loves you SO MUCH to lose faith in you??? or even QUESTION...yet all these evil wicked people...who are wicked ONLY towards me...are getting good lives....while they continue to OPPRESS me...so I can even question God's faith and justice??? its so cruel and strange...it makes no sense to me....of course I have turned ONLY to GOD for 17 years...getting more and more abuse hell and oppression and evil....such extreme evil it's shocking..torturous black magic as well...by a madman who just seeks to destroy me....and an evil horrible mother and family and many others who have come together to do bad things to me and my life....to where I have to even question God's justice??? I thought God would finally give ME power...so I can do GOOD in this world..and stop evil and abuse...its so odd/ironic...as I DESPISE evil and wrong...and I hate oppression ironically I am ALWAYS the one being OPPRESSED by others...so strangely..and people just want power over me and to dominate me...and the jinns do or what not. I don't get why God is allowing this NON-STOP oppression of ONE INNOCENT FEMALE for NO reason at all??? someone who LOVES HIM and has turned ONLY TO HIM only to get MORE and more oppression and abuse...it makes NO sense to me at all??? I say...God...do you want me to now QUESTION your justice...to try me THIS badly??? and ihave NO ONE...I even say well the prophets and those had PEOPLE companions...not to compare of course..but I don't have a SINGLE human on my side or anyone who will help me...its very weird how EVERYONE just ignores me or turns against me or doesn't care....its so strange...even ONE person helping me would change my life but no one does....I don't understand this...I don't get this TEST....it seems as if God wants me to just turn away from Him but it's like I refuse to..even though now daily my faith is tested tried...there is no way I can....even though I Have questioned it after 17 years of horror and suffering.....I still can't and refuse to...but I ask God what the limits of this testing and what purpose does it serve...I have already TURNED TO GOD non-stop for 17 years..and some years...EVERY minute of my life...constantly turning to God...to help me with these trials and suffering....yet ironically....they don't end, and I feel like a martyr of some sorts.....if a servant/slave has turned ONLY TO GOD for help non-stop...WONT he eventually HELP them or answer their prayers??? and in my case...this horrible injustice evil oppression...I don't get it....

[shhann77]

thanks again for your words abz...and the hadith you posted... this is my dilemma too...in the sense of I already hate injustice oppression persecution and I am one of those that thrives on standing up against evil/wrongdoing of any kind....yet due to the fact that I am constantly being oppressed..im unable to do this even for myself...it leaves me totally weak in so many ways and overall....I cant defend myself, and seemingly can't defend others because people don't give me the place to. People oppress me 'completely'...so many do. if I even attempted to give advice, help out or even do something that would be considered standing up against oppression people would just laugh at me, and disrespect me...they treat me as if I don't matter have any rights....or just make fun of me or put me down. also because Ive been oppressed in HUGE ways and also even in little ways...people will not even let me talk most of the time...they make me repeat myself, shut me down, ignore me, pretend im not there...or wont talk to me. im oppressed non-stop 24/7...in just about anything I do it seems. for me it would be a privilege to help out those who are down suffering bullied or oppressed...its my passion yet ironically...I am always being oppressed and cant even help myself...I would never oppress another anyway and its so weird that I have to go through this suffering to witness the evils of humanity and worse, so that others can be glad to see me weak not help me out, laugh at me, get off on my suffering or take advantage of me. If I wasn't in this position i'd be the one helping others out...id' be the one standing up against wrong...yet the manner in which people oppress me on TOP of all the major things is very strange...they treat me as if anything I do is irrelevant and I don't exist or matter or do anything to disrespect or mock me. its not everyone but so many where I live...I just wish I knew why...and I wish....that there was an answer to these things.... I don't understand God anymore...I used to think I did...I use to think there was a plan...a plan for me...that despite all this tragic suffering...I would get my justice. In the past...I used to think God would save me from this horrible oppression and these terrible situations... the horrible things I went through....the major things...I would think...God will save me and I will get justice...I WILL DEFEAT evil in the end...however...I haven't...I didn't get a chance...I got weaker more abused oppressed and more bad happened to me to where I couldn't do anything...now it seems as if God had a plan for all the wicked people and everyone else and my plan was endless suffering martyr style....I don't get it...I don't get it anymore...im a strong believer but I always was...now just witnessing EVERY other person ive known NOT go through the horrors ive been through...and just have a relatively normal life....nothing makes sense anymore...I don't even believe that there will be justice...because...why would there be this endless bizarre suffering that makes no sense for no reason while these people who do bad never ogt any repercussions and live these good lives, while I continue to suffer....do ir eally think there will be some 'justice' in the end? what if God deems that their sins weren't that bad...I mean after all theyre good people except for the evils they've done to me....does that make them bad people? or does it mean that maybe God Himself doesn't see me as a worthy person at all? From what ive witnessed and experienced in life...I fear the evils they've committed against me will go unpunished...and from what ive witnessed...im the one being punished non-stop to a point where God apparently wants me to turn away from Him b/c I guarantee almost anyone woul dhave..so if God is so strongly making me suffer that its causing me to question my own faith...then does God even want me to turn to Him? im not sure about that anymore...it makes me wonder if maybe God just doesn't care and maybe wants me to turn away from Him...im fighting it....im still trying to turn to God but in this case I don't think that's the plan at all....those who worship Him and get good lives....their faith is easy...their lives are good...they have not been through even 1% of the suffering ive been through...yet those of us ie me....this major trying and testing....doesn't seem to be something that benefits us at all...I do fear there wont be any justice...that somehow maybe this is all being done for a reason...and just to continue with the horrors as im being persecuted as a victim...in the end, those who have done evils...will get rewarded and i'll in the end be the one punished as I am being now apparently....I said to my sister in law once...you know the holocaust victims...at one point said...is there even a God...or there can't be because of what we're going through right now...she said...how dare or how could they say such things...and im thinking...have u ever truly suffered?? I mean...really have you? because if you have you wouldn't dare even make such an ignorant statement like that....I know because I have suffered extremely...im surprised im still alive and still functioning because at one point I almost wasn't due to such extreme trauma ive been trhough....and severe CFS....but even then...the torment doesn't stop...the abuse the hell the attacks the all of it....in the end...I don't understand it anymore...where I once I thought I understood certain things..i don't anymore..i keep asking God for answers...but I don't feel im getting any...I can only say that...there is no fight left in me anyore....

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum
Don't lose hope! Things can get better. But before that can happen, there are a few things that you need to understand, and a few things that you need to change. Emotional/psychologocial abuse is one of the most underestimated forms of abuse but can sometimes be the most severe form of abuse that exists. So yeah, it's a miracle that you've turned out to be this good, alhamdoelillah.

Denial
First things first. I think you're in denail about something. And this is gonna be a bitter pill to swallow. Even if at some level you already realise this, it might still be very hard to hear. Nobody likes to hear negative things about their mom. No matter how angry you might be at her some times, I suspect that you'll find it hard to accept what I'm about to say. You already understand that your mother does allot of bad things, you even called her is a shaytaan. Yet I suspect that at some level you still don't grasp (or want to grasp the full extend of what is wrong with your mother. It seems pretty obvious from what you say that your mother has an antisocial personality disorder. In other words she is a sociopath. Now before you continue reading, or before you make up your mind about what I'm saying, I want you to forget whatever image or idea that you have in your mind of what a sociopath is like. the disorder comes in allot more varieties then hollywood paints it out to be. So what does it mean? It is a condition where the part of the brain responsable for emotional attachment to others s is simply not there, or it is underdevelloped from birth. Statistically speaking, 4 Percent of the human population is unable to form such emotional attachement. The direct result of this is that these people have no conscience. Meaning that they feel no emotional consequence of their actions towards others once-so-ever. Of course such people still have an internalisation of external authority (what freud calls the "superego"), that little voice in your head that nags "Oh you really aught to go to sleep or you'll be sorry in the morning". Or sometimes much more abusive stuff like: "Stop eating already, you pig." This little voice is not your conscience. A conscience is not a rational complex part of the mind, it is a raw emotional feeling based on the connection you have with somebody. so as long as they can "rationalise" their behavior to themself, they see no problem with it. An example of such rationalisation: "It's her fault I had to break her arm, if she wouldn't have struggled and let me touch her it wouldn't have happened." Or this is one from my own experience, my Ex-wife said this after she left me: "You know everything that happened is all your fault; because you always gave me the feeling I could walk all over you". Often such people find it very important that others also accept these rationalisations to be true.

Why?
So to answer your question, Why does she do all the things that she does? Well, because she can, and because she sees no reason not to. Because it benefits her. It really is as simple as that. But in a way, this is a good thing. Because once you can accept that, you can also accept this: It's not about you! It's not because you deserve it, or because she thinks you deserve it, or because you bring out the worst of her. No, it's simply who she is. She was probably already like this before you were born! And If you think I'm overreacting and exagerating, do this mental excersize: Imagine for a moment that the situation would be the other way around. Imagine that you're a mother. Imagine that all the things she has done to you, that you would do them to your daughter. Imagine how that would make you feel. How you would react. How it would devastate you. Did your mother react in almost the opposite way as you would do in her shoes? Then obviously she's fundamentally diffrent in the way her mind is wired isn't she?

Self-Esteem
You said in one of your posts that you're pretty strong (emotionally speaking) and that you have been able to withstand their emotional abuse. And I believe you to some extend, it is obvious from your post that they have not succeeded in breaking you down, or making you give up on your heart. And that is good. But don't think that this hasn't scarred you! This level of abuse must have had s a huge impact on your self-esteem. And chances are that you probably don't even realise it. And that's a dangerous condition. See the thing about low self esteem, is that it's subconscious. You said in your post that you are a strong, attrictive, smart educated pious woman. And it's good that you know this. But you know this on a rational level. Not necesairly on an emotional level as well. And because you know this rationally, the thought of having a low self-esteem might not even have crossed your mind. But it is perfectly possible to know that you are good on a rational level, and to feel that you are bad and deserve to be mistreated on an emotional level. And this battle between two diffrent parts of your mind that goes on day after day might in fact be far worse then the abuse your family has put you trough. So how do I know this? Well the super-ego I mentioned before (=internalisation of external authority) which is mostly subconscious has only one function: It tries to push us into the role we think society expect us to perform. In other words, while growing up your mind picks up on certain expectations from the outside world (wheter the expectations are actually real or imagined isn't even relevant). If a child grows up in an abusive enviroment, the child's superego will tell him/her that society expects him/her to be a victim! In other words, you become your own worst enemy and sabotage yourself subconsciously every step along the way!

What about the rest of the family?
So far I have focussed on your mother mostly. But as you said that's just part of it (probably the part that has scarred you the most though). Perhaps by now the following thought has crossed your mind: If what this guy is saying is true, exactly how many sociopaths are there in my family? Well, when the mother of the family is a sociopath, chances are that most of the children will also have antisocial personality disorders. Wheter it is a genetic disposition, copying behavior, or just blocking off their heart and pushing away all feelings after having had their own fair share of abuse.You're brothers and sisters might not have it as progressed as your mother, and their might still be hope for them, or maybe not. Either way you should stop worrying about them and focus on healing yourself for now.

And all the others who take advantage?
Well things is, with a low self esteem you give off a certain vibe. Your posture, your body language, the way you respond to little unimportant events. Perhaps you apologise to fast, when you really didn't do anything wrong. Or maybe you are putting other people's needs before your own. Or a million other different things. It's like a magnet for abuse. People pick up on that really fast. Even people who aren't normaly selfish, tend to think: "Oh it'll be alright, she can take it". Think of a pack of animals that are feasting on a prey. One is standing on the side looking at the spectacle shyly. If there are some leftovers they will leave it for this outcast. But if there's a shortage the vast majority won't part with it. That's human beings for you. The vast majority are selfish. You are diffrent because of your low self esteem. You have the ability to put your own needs aside and recognise that somebody elses need is higher. But this is a rare ability. You need to understand that and stop expecting people to be/act like you.

How to change
Well I'm not gonna sugar coat it. Getting over these traumas will be a hard road, and it might take a couple of years before you are completely "over" this. But you have everything it takes to get better inside of you. Here's a short list of what you need to work on:
- Be aware of the way other people see you. It's good to be helpfull and kind, but keep it balanced. Don't help others to the point it will destroy yourself. Don't give to the point you become needy as well. Make sure people always know that you have strict boundaries to what you except in behavior. Which brings me to:
- You are a good person and you deserve to be treated with respect. You already know this, now you need to put up your boundaries. (the mnetal excersize of reversing the roles I explained before is really helpfull for this)
- When somebody crosses your boundaries, don't get angry or throw fits, just say: I cannot tolerate this behavior, I find it abusive. And explain why. Depending on how they react, chose wheter you can forgive this person or wheter you best cut this person out of your life. (3 strikes and out?).
- People can only manipulate you or make you feel bad to the extend that you allow it. At any time you have the ability to take matters in your own hand (with the exception of physical abuse or blackmail of course).
- Don't try to change people. And don't expect them to change. People don't change. They might adapt to new situations/insights, their behaviour and ideas and convictions might change; but their fundamental nature remains the same.
- Take back control of your life. You said you already live by yourself. Well given the situation, good! Make the decisions you want/need to make for yourself. You want to get married? Look for a spouse yourself. I found my wife (my current wife, not the ex I mentioned) on moslima.com Sure there are tons of people on there who aren't sincere, but keep at it. You want friends, go to places where you think you'll find like-minded people. Well you get the picture. Live life to it's full potential (within the limits of halal of course). Trust me, you deserve it ;)

What God owes you.
God doesn't owe you anything. He has already given you more than you can count. Don't get me wrong, I understand the frustration of trying to do the right thing time after time, and being tested with other people who do the wrong thing, time after time. Remember that justice comes in the afterlife, and then this lif will seem like it was a mere second. God knows what he's doing. And perhaps at some times it might seems cruel, but Allah subhana wa ta'ala promises in the Qur'an that he never test a person beyond what they can carry. And there is a purpose and plan behind all of this (If you are still struggeling with this we can discuss it in following posts, for now I don't want to digress to much). So stop expecting for things to "fall in your lapp" and be more pro-active.

Did your constant prayer help you?
Well remember how I said that children with sociopathic parents often grow up to have antisocial personality disorder as well? How they build a stone wall around their heart and before they realise it their hearts become stones as well. Well all this time Allah subhana wa ta'ala has kept you from going that way. All this time he protected that which matters most.

The only way to move on is acceptance and forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the ultimate form of acceptance. And you need that. This might seem counter-intuitive. If you have been abused you desire justice, not forgiveness. But don't worry, as I said there will be judgement in the hereafter. And wheter or not you have forgiven your family, they will still have to answer for their deeds on the day of judgement. See when I say that you need to forgive them, I don't mean for their sake. I mean for your sake. Ann Lemot wrote (I'm paraphrasing, forgot the exact quote): Refusing to forgive people is like drinking rat poison and then expecting the rat to die. Another of her quotes: "Forgiveness means: giving up hope of having had a better past".


May Allah subhana wa ta'ala protect and guide you.

[shhann77]

abdul Fattah...jazak Allah Khair and thank you SOO much for all of this information and this brilliant analysis!! yes everything you've stated is so true...and im wondering how you know so much about this...or not only from experience but just the analysis of it all...it changed me instantly upon reading it....I have been searching for any kind of 'help' and its so ironic that all I get is more abuse and negativity from people..it makes no sense..do people enjoy seeing someone like me or others in the gutter needing help? even Sufis and religious people have done bad. Yes everything you said is so true...about the vibe, everything. in my case it has been such extreme and for so long im surprised I can interact with people...I seem ok but ther eis so much trauma energy people don't know what they are feeling or seeing in me and they think im 'shy or In a shell." my family has done much worse than just the belittlement and emotional abuse though YES omg....everything they have done to me has DESTROYED me on a mental level and every minute its the aftermath of all the abuse and suffering non-stop esp with no help or healing or understanding. yes its true I understand sociopaths however....what you wrote about them...has reiterated and given me an understanding I may have forgot or have taken for granted. THis is the major confusion...attempting to understand who my family is...I don't get it or understand. I;m the only victim and others victimize me too so its hard to rationalize what kind of people they are...I have often said my sister is a sociopath too they all are??? but the thing is..my sister has thousands of friends...my brother does as well and they are very popular..whereas due to all the abuse done to me...I am an even bigger loner htan before not that I choose to be but people just automatically run away from me...or mistreat me and yes they can sense im weak and have been through a lot, yet to me it's still evil that they choose to be evil towards me rather than kind? I don't get this...does everyone just not have a conscience? this is what I don't understand about humans....even if I appear strong later, people will then abuse me more to make sure I am still weak again..why do they do this? and why me? I look very innocent and kind and I wonder if its because of this reason too. There is so much and its so confusing...my brother/sister...are very popular have tons of friends and im all alone and the one who they have thrown in the gutter and abused terribly...I try to say well theyre good people except for what they've all done to me? but your analysis that they are perhaps sociopaths is very shocking and most likely true but hard to grasp....its a mental dilemma and a moral one for me...how can I see all of them as sociopaths....and what are they really? why do they only abuse ME? but I see that maybe they abuse me because....they all had the OPPORTUNITY to I assume...because I was kind sweet and my evil mother took advantage of me so my brother/sister didn't mind jumping in and helping. Because they cant abuse others, and because doing so would destroy their grandiose beliefs of perfection and the 'show' they put on..(if that makes sense) being narcissists and sociopaths. They show kindness and empathy towards others...EVERYONE except me. and they treat me like apunching bag or insect they can just abuse for fun...as if I don't mean anything or matter. its also baffling b/c its not that im beautiful its that im a pure and good person....I look like innocence/kindness so its confusing that they seek to abuse someone as 'innocent' as me...im gentle kind sweet ....which is what confuses me that it's so cruel that people take advantage of the good kind sweet people? why? I also only seek positivity so I go to my family trying to get beneficial positive interactions, love kindness and get only cruelty abuse horror....they have also done major major bad things to me...those are the things they did to really 'destroy me' and all of this other emotional and horror abuse is just the aftermath along with several other extreme things in between. its the confusion that....are these people EVIL people just because they do evil to me??? they are good to everyone else? however...what you stated...about them being sociopaths...makes so much sense....they are all CHARMING LIKEABLE ABLE to influence others, have MANY friends....can get anyone to turn against me...these are all characteristics of them. I never thought that maybe she is a sociopath and that my siblings are as well? and of course I am not..im different and this is why they have outcasted and abused me in this way..... my mother has gone around slandering me to family members close friends..so people think all sorts of sick horrible things about me, and when these people meet me automatically they are isolated from me instantly and cling to my mother too and judge and mistreat me....so in some cases she even creates all of this from the beginning. its hard to see that they are NICE to others...even have a conscience with others...?? my mother will say...oh this world is so evil..so bad people can be so bad...I cant believe they did that...she will complain about what people do to her..and im thinking...but you have done SO MUCH BAD to me??? omg??? ive veen said to my family...repent??? you need to REPENT because one day you will have to answer to GOD for what you've done to me??? they don't care...they ignore it as if its a joke or doesn't exist...its so confusing to me...minimize deny...or blame me...and I assume its because they CAN get away with it....with others maybe they can't...and with others..theres no opportunity...? plus it would make them look bad...so the ONLY person they can abuse mistreat and torture is me and yes so many othesr see my weakness....instantly...and mistreat me as a result... I have tried to go to counselors to get help and the counselors were so bad and didn't do anything to help me and almost seemed as if they were glad I was in this position or tried to be controlling too. There are good ones out there but I havent' found them yet so ive been stuck confused... this crazy man too began taking advantage of me b/c he knew what my family has done to me... and he is an extreme sociopath...so evil cruel wicked like my mother...and he seeks to control torture me and is a sadist like my family. I live in a place my parents own...I pay them rent. so this is why my mother feels entitled to controlling and abusing me even now.... I am beyond brainwashed and I can't control how I feel..anyone in my situation would feel the way I do or worse...they probably would have lost their minds. they say God won't give someone more than they can bear...but why is it that those evildoers get lesser struggles and the best of people get the most extreme or intense or horrific struggles.... I cannt bear my suffering..i am only surviving like a zombie day after day...im also alone and ive tried to find a spouse for myself..for many years...nothing comes of it...just more nonsense losers psychos jerks and weird people... I need help support anything...even from people community even one person yet I can't seem to find it. worse, I am desperate for it and I go around trying to get advice from people so it puts me in a position of inferiority and others keep taking advantage of me. Do people not feel remorse or bad for mistreating those who are in a bad situation? this is what I don't understand either.... I don't think im trying to change anyone im trying to understand how to heal from all of this abuse, gain strength so I can get away from my abusers and make it on my own...get major healing...heal the trauma...gain power so my wicked mother and others cant continue to abuse me, and get away and even maybe file some lawsuits if I can....my mother has committed fraudulent actions and I can even have her put in jail as of now....which is what I wanted to do but I was too scared...this evil man once said to me that he abuses me b/c "I don't fight back and he knows im not going to fight back." it seems maybe if I fight back and show them they cant do this to me...it will teach them a lesson...but everyone has weakened brainwashed me and made me feel as if im a bad person for retaliation...or even thinking bad of these people who do bad to me....I keep getting more and more negativity rather than help. people even say "oh go live with your mother...she loves you"!!! just people saying these sick things has messed with me so badly.... im so confused...even though I know its not true but it does this thing to you...mentally...it throws you back...and messes with you even more...and yes emotionally I don't have self esteem...its' true even when I did it didn't matter...people would still abuse or take advantage of me.... I am very glad to hear what u say about my mother...I need that emphasis...not the lies other people tell me to brainwash me and send me right back to her. a sufi even said "your mother...she should be your best friend"! he told me to make amends with her..then she did something VERY bad to me that same night..(can't get into the details) and he said "see you didn't make amends with her and look what happened to you"...which is horrible..all of these people rather than help me out, stop my mother..will act as if I deserved the bad she did to me...I went through some 'major' hell at that time...and no one helped me all because of that evil person....also I don't understand why everyone helps/supports her and no one helps me...is it because evil sticks with evil and they want to help each other out?

[shhann77]

for some reason the thread won't allow me to use paragraphs or hit the return button...

[shhann77]

I have been searching for a spouse/friends anyone...its weird though...due to all of this abuse it seems, that as a result other people just aren't able to come into my life and somehow the 'absuers' have more and more control...the only people that seem to come into my life are more sociopaths...it's scary and weird. im a positive likeable person...friendly, and its odd that this level of crazy or sick people are the only ones in my life otherwise im totally alone and all of the time I am always alone. no one to hang out with or do anything with. I ask God for a spouse..or help , and don't get it. as a result, then out of extreme loneliness, and neediness and just normally needing 'people' I turn back to family for help...as anyone would go crazy being unable to talk to someone about their problems or about life. I really just say/think that...I guess God is testing me and im being forced to bond back with my abusers in some way? I used to talk tot the 'crazy evil' man when he was prominent in my life and he was so evil...he abused me horribly and made me suffer in extreme ways as well...in a really bad crazy story...its like I go from the frying pain into the fire back and forth...from more abusers to more and more abusers...positive people do not come into my life...yet oddly these people all have many positive good people in their life and I have no one except 'them'....prior to my 20's my life wasn't this bad..or anything like this. all of this started when I was 21...and it has gotten worse and worse..i am in my 30's now and my family has destroyed me completely....this man also still does black magic and theres a possibility my evil mother does it as well....as she has some influence in that way and its scary....both these abusers have said "we're never gonna let you go"!!! and their abuse is so effective it's scary....I am terrified as now im getting older and I can't believe where im at in life. I want a husband, children...so many people I know have had great lives...yet im stuck being tortured by these evil people and I can't seem to get away..and I have so much fear...and try to get therapy/healing and get nothing....I feel as if im stuck to these people..and im reaching out desperately trying to grab at other things in life and can't...im unable to get those things...I find it so odd that the only people in my life are my worst abusers??? people who seek to torture me control and destroy me...this is so weird...why I can't meet others as well...yes im sure people read the energy/vibes but still...not even one person and if that opportunity comes these people are in different states/cities... im scared and I have no one to turn to....I don't feel God owes me anything but I don't understand why God won't help me in some way...assist...even a little. My brother wasn't proactive in finding his wife...someone introduced him to her...twice...and same with my sister..me...I ask others to find people for me and no one will. me...I can't find anyone on my own ive tried and tried....the more I try the worse it gets....it does feel as if others for some reason have control over my life ...they have the connections, the contacts...I cant even make friends with people or have any connections....im just stuck in this crazy weird loneliness and now it's getting worse...this crazy man is getting angrier for some reason...his black magic stuff is getting more intense....hes mad I went out of state....my mother is getting more abusive and crazy though she doesn't live with me...she visits weekly just to abuse mistreat control me....I have nothing positive and no one and it's so scary... yet I go visit my sister and she is married, and she has like 100's of friends...im like...God why...can't you allow me ONE friend and she has 100's and SHE is one who abuses and had oppressed me terribly?? it makes no sense....

[shhann77]

and yes thank you a lot Abdul Fattah for your advice and also for brother Abz for your advice as well...and yes I would love to talk to your wife...I can't reply to messages right now because it says I need 50 or more posts...but very few are able to elaborate or articulate what you have really and its not unpersonal its very truthful and analytical and much appreciated...and helpful and I hope it can help others as well....thank you!

[Abz2000]

Salamz, hope ur feeling a bit better, mashaAllah brother Abdul fattah somehow dissected it well and tempered it nicely, i pray that Allah gives him the opportunity to use that talent well.

Something that did strike me though was your craving for friendship, know that all true believers are your friends, even though you may not see them, they are there and you will probably notice this soon from the sisters even on this forum. I got a feeling most of those "1000 friends" of your sisters are Facebook friends, you know, the type that hit "friend" so they get a hit "friend" back - of no use to them on the day of judgement when theyd really need a good testimony, and nothing whatsoever to envy.
And the few others she may have in non-virtual reality, not all are necessarily true friends, friends that will help her attain paradise and save her from hell. Many who seem like friends are often the type who seek mutual friendship as long as the status quo lasts equally. You want friends that don't care if you can help them or not, or be their "friend" back, they just love you for the sake of Allah and coz ur a believer.

I believe it's better to try and cut out useless friends and even sometimes good friends if you feel the friendship will affect both your eternal destinies negatively,
Why long to be liked by irrelevant people who God doesn't choose for you?
Only Allah can bring true friends into your life, friends that will help you to good and a scold you for any evil you may incline to.
I have made a few in this new country I've moved to (though I usually only communicate with them when a collective duty arises - or to discuss problems and possibilities etc - work load and pther burdens can strain time), they too are content with that and also are happy that we can support each other for the sake of Allah. These feel like real friends, friends whom you'd feel at peace next to on a battlefield or under siege, where you'd die for each other despite there being no personal interest, all in tune and harmony with the main server, with the same aspirations and sacrifices.
Anyway, I'm getting emotional again.
Others, I just delete their numbers or avoid them, not all are bad, but sumtimes u can b bad for each other.

Allah has been and is always generous to us- unlike those who would only give when they expect reciprocation. We have to be very careful to keep that in mind and humbly hope and ask for more of His grace in place of a sense of entitlement.
I remember a time when I'd feel overwhelmed and helpless despite my best efforts, and ask him why He didn't just stop all the suffering in the world despite having the power to, why he expected it of us, yet let us suffer n the process. I slowly realized that it was a very foolish blasphemous way of thinking.
He gave us free will and updated instruction manuals, manuals brought to us by others like us, who knew him better than us, yet we're prepared to suffer whatever was necessary to get those manuals to us. Who persevered even through the bleakest of situations, and proved that adhering those manuals fixed the situation and improved everyone's lot. The injustice also flew out the window with the kufr.

Here is the humble prayer of one who bled from head to toe just for the sake of trying to help his people (may Allah grant him the highest status in paradise):.

-----


Allah delivered them and made them prevail when He decided the time was right, now I sometimes just brush aside most attacks and revilings and see myself as a tool that just needs to get through it all without letting it bring me down, if we win - great, if we die in the process - we get an early exit lol.

pl

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum,
I would advice against trying to fight them, sue them, or provoke them in any way. They don't "play" by the same rules as you do, so you will always loose in a direct confrontation. People who have no emotional connections and thus a boring life have nothing better to do then coming up with new ways to gain the upper hand. Can you afford another appartment? Maybe you should move and create some distance between you and them.

As for why you seem to be approached by abusive people only. Remeber that most "normal" people have their own issues as well. They can be shy, self-absorbed, or just busy with the life they have. If you want to meet new people you need to take the first steps. Oh, and something else. You know How I explained that in each situation that occurs you should reverse the situation and think about how you'd react, and check if the person in front of you responds similarly? Well, there's a second, even more important acid-test: your intuition. Learn to listen to what your gut tells you. It's our best defence against abusive people. The problem is, sometimes we tend to think, well this is unfair, I don't know if my intuitive feeling could be wrong, or maybe my intuition is right, and I get the feeling something is wrong with this person, but it's actually a whole different thing than I suspected...? Well forget about that. You're not obliged to make friends and keep contact with everybody who seeks it. You have every right to seek out the people around you which your intuition tells you are honest people! Andyou have every right to avoid certain people, even if it's just based on a gut feeling. You have'nt done anything wrong by that. Abusive people almost always have a camouflage. A charming radiant personality. They walk into a room and draw all the attention in a positive, fast-pased show. It's like one of those fish with a little light in front of his mouth to lure smaller fish. But no matter how good they act, there are always small lapses in bodylanguage, sometimes even a milisecond, when their real emotions show. Somehow our intuition tends topick up on that, even if we didn't consciously noticed it. So learn to listen to your intuition again.

Another interesting quote, this one's from martha stout a psychologist who specializes in trauma recovery ( btw, you should get her self-help book: the sociopath next door):
“The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy.”

[shhann77]

hello salams and thank you both for your advice...im unable to read it right now due to 'suffering' but I will read it later and respond again thanks!! the reason im writing is because currently this monster this crazy male...who does black magic on me, his black magic is getting so extreme I don't know what to do. its so scary because I have been dealing with him for six years now and it seems to just increment even more and more... the scary thing is, if im not being 'tortured' by my cruel mother, family or people, then its him....its weird how it all just seems to rotate so that im suffering every minute of my life, and when im alone which I am 98% of the time or more, then im being tortured by jinns/black magic by this sociopath. I barely talk to him anymore but a month ago he called me...and though he still does this energy stuff to me, upon talking on the phone it seems he gained a direct stronger connection to me. soon after two days after I lost my job, and any person in my life...not that I had friends but one or two acquaintances just seemed to drop out of my life....or something happened Then my cat had a bad experience at the vet and escaped and almost ran on the road and it was horrendous and traumatic and I was treated badly by the vets office. this crazy person laughs and says "oh sounds like youre having a bad week huh"? and then he says he's happy because he blames me for ruining his life though i didnt and he's just a pathological liar who has been tormenting me for six years now..and uses me to torture...his negative energy is so dark its scary and he is well versed in this kind of energy stuff or torture. he has some kind of direct connection to me...and he has said in the past he owns me and owns my soul. I have been told by people that people like him can capture people in this way or do this thorugh someones soul...form this direct link (he has plenty of pictures hair of me etc anything he needs), and literally just 'tortures' me in various ways....usually I can handle it..its bad but now...he used to always talk about the moon and moon cycles and other scary things...and he is a very dark sick scary person I know heavily into this stuff....he got angry at me about something and the torture has been "SO BAD" I cant even describe or bear it...I cannot handle it...I want to scream or go nuts but I can't....I just bare it...the truth is even having a friend or two would ease it...because it would give him less power...and balance out the energy esp in my house but I have no one and have to like beg people to come to my house though no one does..its really really scary....im only writing now b/c its so extreme...and has been for the past two weeks. he is alkso angry I went out of state ie it gives me more opportunity so for a SP like him he's losing control in this way....so he has to up his torture...if anyone has been a victim of black magic the know what I am talking about-- the pain the torture suffering..... I play suras and sometimes that gives some relief...like the energy or entities stop but then it starts again but right now not much is helping it. I would play an energy healing tape from a man I know from cali and that energy helps even once I called him years ago when this crazy man was really really torturing me and he helped....in order to stop this torture, I have to begin saying nice things to this evil crazy man... and then he will ask me to "say what he wants" and in order to stop suffering I have no choice...he will make me say weird things on the phone and I have no dang choice....because if I don't he says "ok cool well then go ahead and suffer" and if I hang up the phone then the torture gets worse but if I say what he says, then he will remove it.... when I left my house in fact....it got better so he is using my house to do this to me...he has been to my house many times in the past and im sure has direct access to it..... even my poor cats can feel how bad the energies are and start to freak out.....this sick man is a mad man and I don't know why he's doing this to me....I say I live alone with several cats...why are you doing this to ME of all people and im a good person??? he doesn't care...obviously he's a sociopath and as long as he can get away with this......he used to say im his puppet and he owns me....it's so scary because the level of suffering I endure....no person deserves..this non-stop suffering.... its all so crazy...in fact days ago I was suffering so badly but not this bad but I try to do things hoping that that will get rid of it...going to events or doing something and sometimes it does but it takes A LOT just to sort of finally attempt to dissipate it ... or just waiting but the torture going through this is a horror I can't desdcribe...this sick evil crazy man has been torturing me for years and even upon meeting him he told me "youre in pain, youre in severe pain" and he meant the black magic pain he was going to put me in ....its not just that he wants to kill me...he is a sadist and just wants to torture me extremely day after day and take all his anger out on me... he is also trying to make me weak so that I can't work or do anything....I had to not go to the first day of my new job today b/c I was suffering so badly...he will say to me "oh its not me...if it was me you wouldn't be able to MOVE"...im like I can't move?? please stop....but the more you say please to a sociopath the more they do bad ot you.....my sister has said don't respond to him he just wants to make you think you need him...im like I have no choice...the pain is so bad...hes the one doing it and I have to respond to attempt to convince him to stop..this is where he tries to use/control me to 'say what he wants me to say' in some deranged format....to use me as a puppet ie he's torturing.... I played Quran all day yesterday at my place...and really the energies he's using right now are 'so strong'....prior to a month ago...it wasn't like this until I talked to him on the phone...he hasn't even been to my house in a year...it's so scary that he is STILL doing this to me?? I don't know how to survive 'all of this' or why its ALL getting so bad now...everything is...my mother is also even getting crazier and more abusive...and both my parents are trying to control me more now....my dad got me a new car....and I thought oh nice? but I had a feeling there woul dbe a price involved....I didn't even want the car..b/c now he is calling me constantly literally trying to control me more...telling me to do this and that...he even increased my rent saying well hes getting me a new car but I have to pay more rent now...I said I just lost my job? but now he is calling me all the time...and im starting to have a nervous breakdown....because no one calls me with anything positive...everyone just tries to control me....im not this person ie im not a victim??? im a strong person...im smart im talented...why is my life being all these crazy people's puppet??? my evil mother even admitted that when she comes over because she helps me clean that she has a right to control and abuse me?!!! I said no you don't? I said i'll pay you to help me rather than have you think you can abuse and mistreat me...this isnt' right. I said that's oppression and its not Islamic....don't you guys have any taqwa??? don't you know that in islam oppressing another person ISNT ok??? the reason I need help cleaning is because I have been through SO much abuse I have CFS....and some things are hard for me to do....ie the abusers have caused this in me and I need THEIR help in doing this...the dependency they create...so that they can further abuse and control a person.....in turn this crazy man is doing the same...TORTURING me to such extremes probably so that I become weak and dependent or just unable to function.....it won't work but days like this I have no choice....and now my parents have become more and more abusive suddenly esp over the past few months.... i'll respond to your replies in a bit as I just can't right now.... but please pray for me anything...just ask Allah to remove these abusers from my life...or to give me strength against this oppression and madness.....or if anyone has any idea on how to dispel this kind of dark magic energy....we have been to healers and in the end there is no solution...they give courses to remove jinns and everything and in the end...it usually makes it worse...or these healers can be bad too and try to use those who are weak to take advantage of them as well.... ive been to imams and the imams couldn't do anything..... i can't negotiate with this crazy man..i don't know what he wants realy....i don't know what will get him to stop....i don't know why hes doing this suddenly...out of the blue after a year of really not much contact....what his intentions are....its like being on a really bad roller coaster and youre just grabbing on tight and enduring the pain.....but i can't...not this pain....its just so so bad ...i seriously swear its like i am a martyr or something who just gets tortured every minute of my life....its just not fair or right its crazy....and it doesn't end??

[shhann77]

Salamz Brother Fattah and Abz and thanks for the ...verses or duas to say...they seem really good and I will definitely try those. I agree about the friends thing...with my sister its that...she knows these people and not all of them are just empty friends...she has SO many friends it's shocking. even the friends were like "yeah shes amazing" ie because she just knows people after people. its this bizarre paradox...that she has 100's of friends everywhere..i mean "EVERYWHERE"... its insane...the people she introduced me to I was shocked. im thinking..how can you know THIS many people??? I mean we were at a convention and trying to get some place...and we stopped every 5 seconds literally because she knew people after people. How odd is it that I know NO ONE??? that I am stuck isolated in this awful city...and I don't have ONE friend in the world?? I go online to try to meet people who all treat me like crap...its this unfair bizarre hell paradox. I'm likeable pretty nice...I look like someone people might love yet instead...everyone whre I live HATES me...people are so jealous of me they want me dead ...ive been through so much abuse its ridiculous...you don't know if it's from the jinns or from the people themselves but it's so bad. I was even harassed by an entire NEIGHBORHOOD of people 10 years ago...for no reason...it was crazy...like they just wanted to attack me...oh because I threw one trash bag outside my door? it was crazy and no one can even begin to understand the level of trauma and horrors ive been through...I live alone and everyone makes fun of me for living alone as if im a loser or weird. instead of befriending me people mock and insult me or attack harass and abuse me. everything I do in life I get judged mistreated put down. im smart talented good person...I treat everyone with respect...why are so many abusing and mistreating me? esp in the city I live in its been really bad...where my sister lives...at least I could probably make friends if I lived there...through her...but where I live in Orlando, florida its a really bad city and everyone literally seems to hate me and have this irrational hatred/jealousy of me. ive seen it happen it seems to women who might be pretty or attractive especially here...I don't know why... but the way people treat me is so shocking...they treat me like an insect they just want to crush abuse or mistreat or hate. I have NO friends...I do everything alone. not even ONE friend? then anyone I meet acts as if I have to kiss up to them and I really don't want to do that....I didn't know life could be so hard/crazy and being totally ALONE with a family that has tortured me with no one's help...and a history of trauma is horror. and this black magic...WOW....God help me because I am beyond cursed. to suffer 15 years of horror PLUS now daily black magic torture totally ALONE is something no one really I think could survive...ive become used to torture/abuse so that's why I can handle it...but no friends no fun nothing positive. I work HARD to attempt to do positive things and that horror includes meeting strangers online because I have no other choice. you'd think muslim women would have been nice or befriended me...not here..no one. I try so hard to make friends I get shunned mistreated ignored rejected...yet im friendly nice cool and a good person. the things my family has done to me are quite extreme and I cant talk about it here....but I want to file lawsuits...but how can I with my bad luck and all this hell and them being 'sociopaths' with influence, lies, money maybe....I feel not only will I lose but then I will gain their extreme wrath and they might do something really bad ot me plus I live in a place they own for now. this evil man seeks only to destroy and torture me and he claims he enjoys watching me suffer....he has even said that I wont meet a man...and I believe it because I couldn't before but now with his 'spells' and all this hell its even worse. He does black magic spellwork all types of severe things....its so severe when he makes it bad...that I cant function or even survive. im like a zombie just being tortured...like hes torturing a puppet ....all day now its been like this..i have texted, emailed him..begged him...tried to plead anything....in the past if I said the 'right words' then he would stop...right now I don't think there is anything I can say....I just pray to God..to please relieve me of this stupid suffering...others don't go through this...they have husbands, wives, children..friends...they have a life I can only dream of having...my life ironically...isnt' this...for some reason im not able to have these things as long as im living here I think in Orlando...as long as im here im doomed to suffer in this bizarre extreme way...its similar to extreme suffering...its not even just mild nonsense that people here complain about....this is 'suffering' and the question is...why am I having to suffer martyr style every minute of my life??? I cant meet a spouse or anyone...men reject me left and right or weird things happen. I cant make any friends...im alone I get tortured and controlled by people...I don't know of anyone who is going through this on THIS LEVEL...and then the history of my traumas and horrors are enough to drive anyone to who knows what...but not only have is urvived those horrid trials....there are non-stop trials to come with NO RELIEF??? I thought that with suffering comes relief...for me there is none....there are small bursts of relief to where im not being tortured but then im alone and there is nothing I can do. if I attempt to go into groups of people people just HATE me...(here at least)....people hate my presence...they just loathe me and if they don't hate me they just ignore me...yet ironically...I like EVERYONE??? I can be friends with everyone yet no one wants to be friensd with me...im smart funny pretty cool yet no one here likes me...I used to say its jealousy but now its just rejection..its as if im not human...how people treat me and how mean they are to me..and the things they do to me...maybe in another city I would be popular??? but here in Orlando I am hated and shunned on another level....how can anyone survive this horror kind of life...?? also Brother Fattah yes I agree about the distance definitely...its just hard b/c in the end...esp as of now its like they are the only people in my life...its so weird..i suddenly realized...oh my gosh im 30 something and have NO friends...how have I even been surviving??? how DO I survive??? my social life consists of meeting strange people off the internet to do things with...meeting strangers over and over is a sick hell in itself...no human could do that over and over again with NO consistent friends and no one....I don't understand why I am FORCED to be alone...yet im social friendly and I LOVE being around people...and living life..yet NO one wants to be around me....people just either shun me ignore me reject me abuse me or try to use me...that's it. I even meet tehse weirdos and they too mistreat abuse or reject me. im friendly nice...trying to be friendly and I do all the talking...they mostly just sit there like robots or are rude to me. im like why is this my life??? I have so many good things going for me yet I cant meet ONE person on this planet? then this carzy man used to say "im your only friend" and he would then use everything to further manipulate and brainwash me with lies on what a loser I am and how bad I am and why no one wants to be around me....and all sorts of lies which I knew were lies but in the end...im still alone and yet even this sociopath has friends?? and yes they do because they are charming...but I'm charming too yet people just hate me....they treat me like a freak or alien...or someone who is supposed to be abused... I am in DESPERATE need of therapy and have tried going to many therapists but here in Orlando....the people are all really bad...I mean just such bad counselors....either they do nothing or they even try to lie to you. one counselor was so weird, he would miss appointments all the time as if he didn't want to see me. then one day he banged on my door and left...really weird...then he didn't talk to me again. I have so many stories of just bad counselors...and I am in dire need of trauma therapy. then I found a man who did trauma therapy but after one session I think it was more of a scam...which I felt anyway and he wa sfollowing the trauma therapy mode of peter Levine....I plan to buy the book...and try it myself....but I will definitely read up on that....by stout...if you by any chance know of any good therapist anywhere even over the phone....in the end im still someone who is in dire need of professional help/therapy for serious PTSD...yet its weird that no one will help me...or I cant seem to find someone who is even remotely good.... whatever pain I am currently in is so bad that nothing seems to be taking it away...usually going to a park, or doing certain things will alleviate it...yet its been so bad lately...and I fear its going to get worse. it seemsto have gotten worse after I came back from visiting my sister and I know this carzy man....knew I went to see her and its as if he wants to just eliminate me or something. he claims that his black magic I wouldn't be able to get out of bed...maybe others wouldn't be able to but I can handle the pain and I do it....but no healer has been able to really help me from any of this...they say they can but in the end their 'courses' aren't strong enough or theyre too painful to go through with....right now im still in a state of suffering so God help me I cant wait until this ends and it will end eventually....but until then....I have heard from those who are victims of energy people like this that certain things like tai chi help or certain types of meditations...it seems to help temporarly like maybe one minute but then it starts over again... I am like an outcast in life...its weird...I get treated worse than a leper or criminal by people...and I have no friends...im just alone and suffer 24/7...this doesn't feel like the way my life should be... im afflicted with not just black magic or this..btu something extreme... something so strong that I don't even know what to say. ive been told this crazy man is being used by jinns/demons to destroy me...by several different people...

[shhann77]

I have spoken to people who are victims of black magic..even a counselor long ago and she said she did tai chi bcaue a crazy man like this one bothering me was doing the same ot her....and she said she learned that and blocked his energy from her. others who are afflicted by black magic well they try all sortsof things....for me this man is so malicious...I don't know what the purpose is now in his doing this to me....as we don't even talk anymore....except rarely. this man I don't think will ever stop doing this unless I move and he will lose all control over me....I just can't bear the suffering years ago I called a healer and he helped me over the phone or I thought I was going to die....and forgive the ranting its just that when you are suffering on this level there seems to be nothing else you can do... also when these people do this kind of energy vampirism or black magic...to you things start gong really bad in your life and getting worse on another level...and they can do certain spells to cause people to just not want ot be near you...and its just getting so bad...but I can't negotiate with a sociopath?? as the victim there is nothing I can do...ive tried it all...I can only give into his desires which seems to be attempting to gain more control over me and watching me suffer this way...or knowing im suffering...

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum

I really think you should consider moving to another appartment where you are independant.

As for black magic, is it possible that at least part of theis problem is psychological? That when you start feeling any soar muscle or normal pains that we all have now and then, that your fear and adrenaline increases the pain? That this guy picked up on that fear and uses it to manipulate you? And I'm not saying this to discredit you or minimalise your problem. Please don't take this the wrong way. I do believe black magic exists. It's just that most muslim seem to think that everything bad which happens is the fault of djinns and black magic and evil eye, without considering other explenations. there's also allot of superstition and folklore surrounding the subject. So maybe you should look up more about the subject to see what actually is and isn't possible with black so it would set your mind at ease. Remember that the mind has allot of power over your body and fear is a very powerfull emotion. It triggers allot of physical reactions in your body.

Here are some interesting links to start with:
http://www.islamawareness.net/BlackM...a_rulings.html
http://www.islamawareness.net/BlackMagic/magic.html

So how to deal with it? Maybe you think I'm wrong here, and that there is no possible way that his problem is (partially) psychological. you are off course entitled to think so. But either way you must admit that it can't hurt to try and get better in whatever way possible, right? So try to fight it both ways.
- For the black magic, the treatment should be very easy. Just recite the two last verses of al-baqarah, and recite the last three surah every morning and every evening. Those should suffice. Remeber though, that when using Qura'an for protection/healing, that your intention should be pure, and your tawheed should be pure. Know that this is not some sort of counter-magic or white magic. It is not the recitation itself that protects you. It is not relevant wheter or not the person who performs the black magic is strong or weak. It does not matter wheter you have allot of energy or the right type of energy. What ruqyah is or does, is just a form of dua where you are asking Allah to help you and protect you. Remember that Allah subhana wa ta'ala says in the qur'an that the plan of the shaytaan is weak. And remember that all of mankind and jinns are powerless against Allah subhana wa ta'ala. If he wants the black magic to stop; it will stop. Simple as that. No matter how strong this person is, or how many djinns he knows. So put your trust in Allah; and if your relationship with Allah isn't very good at the moment, then perhaps this is the perfect opportunity to work on that.
- Also stay away from other "remedies". That is a dangerous road. Sometimes the djinns stop their harassement just because they want you to change faith or believe in the wrong faith. So be very carefull because before you know it you will have commited shirk. Know that the Qur'an is the only protection against black magic and djinns. If Qur'an isn't helping, then either you're doing something wrong (like unpure intention or shirk) or the problem wasn't due to djinns and black magic in the first place. But also know that this works both ways. If you do some good deeds (extra prayer, recitation, etc..) everytime you think you're being harassed by a djinn; after a while the djinns will stop their harasement because they know it only increases your reward.
- For psychological manipulation, just avoid all contact. Don't pick up when he calls. Don't engage in debate, don't try to sooth him. Just avoid all contact. Get a restraining order if he keeps harrasing you. Trust in Allah's protection, and don't let fear get the better of you. Don't let fear convince you that your only option is to submit and endure.
- When other things happen. Like when your cats act up, don't always think the worst. I have a cat myself, and they are very empathic animals. When I'm nervous, my cat gets agressive. When I'm sad, my cat comes to comfort me. They feel your emotions. Chances are they feel your fear as well. And other bad things will happen as well. that's just life. Bad things always happen. There isn't always a connection with other events. Sometimes timing is just a coincedence.

I understand it's a frightening idea, but you can be independant of all these abusers in your life. All it takes is for you to believe in yourself. Independance is there for you to take it, stop being afraid of it.

[shhann77]

Hi and SSalam Abdul Fattah and yes its true...there is definitely well psychological issues for anyone in any situation like this due to the nature of long term abuse by so many and so much trauma...however, there is also the metaphysical part of things, jinns and those who are energy vampires. What im experiencing is not uncommon as its common symptoms of someone who is afflicted by black magic and energies. there is a lot to it and its complex. also what im going through isn't just a minor aspect of black magic or dark energies...for me I have been in a major situation for 17 years now. its basically like spiritual warfare and being attacked by jinns/demons/satan on a huge level. the way demons work is that they try to destroy a person or their life...and will do so in extrme ways. if they cant' get to a person directly such as...by causing me to do harm to myself, others, or do bad things, they will use those arund me as a pawn to attack me, mostly use the weak people and influence them. So basically ive been under MAJOR attack for many years. is it not odd or crazy that I was harassed by an 'entire' neighborhood of people-- I mean coming to my door, banging on it, writing notes, going crazy over NOTHING? abused by random people oddly for no reason...yelled at screamed cursed, banned from places, have had trhings thrown at me, people just go crazy. Yes, I don't blame it all on the 'jinns' because honestly..these people are weak or must be weak plus sinec I am the one under attack, how come I don't go around attacking others??? im strong and the jinns can't get to me this way so they use those around me who are weak, evil, can be sociopaths, or have the desire to do bad to me. the biggest pawn being my mother...then this crazy man too. this crazy man...hes one of those energy people..he uses energy in a negative way...hes also an energy vampire and psychic vampirisim has been studied and measured scienficially and is a proven science and occurrence...they leech the life force of people and steal people's energies...this man however..does it ALL. Ive met several energy vampire type evil people and even once frighteningly a demonologist...very scary...but this man has been very effective and his abilities are kind of scary...and when they have a direct connection ot you...and are able to do this, the things they do are pretty heinous. these are all symptoms of black magic and being afflicted and the worst part is....how it afflicts you varies day to day because they are DOING different kinds of spells/energies on you. I know all the different kinds, not all but many because I have lived every single day. when im feeling in severe pain..(its not physical pain energetic pain is different its manifested or feels physical but its energetic)...its all energy and there are various aspects to it...sometimes it feelsl ike something is SQUEEZING inside your head or your body...it depends where theyre directing the energies or what kind of spell it is...and of course intensity wise and location wise and so many other things...sometimes its so bad you can't get out of bed but I do because im strong and I can handle it. they are also leeching your life force as well and what they do is create a connection so that they are directly seeping your positive energy into them and dumping their negative energy into you...so that bad things will start happening in your life on an escalated level. they are not only stealing all your good energy but dumping energy into you as WELL as int his case doing horrendous black magic/voodoo type. I have dealt with this crazy man for 6 years so I know all of his tactics, energies spells but now he is upping the torture suddenly....its scary that he has the ability to do this when he wants...yet chooses to do it whenever...there is much more to it as well and the abilities these evil people possess...and how they use them to have power/control over others. as a previous counselor I went to a well said she was a victim of an energy vampire type like this and learned tai chi to block him out but I doubt he had direct access to her the way this monster does with me. this man is very evil...and very twisted/sick... now last night lluckily as he texted me later at night before I was going to a movie I started to feel better and came home to feeling amazing...but again today its the bad energy..though not as bad as yesterday....everyday can be different however..for many months he wasn't doing this to me..really it started again about a month ago and that's when we talked on the phone and all of this began again...I guess it was his plan and why he talked to me on th ephone.... maybe he is losing energy and needs to renew more or lost a source...these psi vampires have multiple victims...however this crazy man literally has just latched onto me and won't let go....even if we don't talk he is still affecting/torturing me energetically in various forms.....people who are afflicted by black magic sometimes can't move, and feel all sorts of various horrendous pains and different symptoms...I knopw too because ive experienced many of them many times on many levels...many people can't handle it as it can be really bad and some of it can cause death....im surprised im still alive really because I get tortured over and over again and manage to survive....I don't know what the point of this torture is....usually this sociopath has a reason/plan...and who knows because maybe its even more heinous or bad....than I think it is....ive gone to healers and its complicated because many healers don't have the ability to get rid of the jinns/demons that are affecting my life. this crazy man is just a part of this spiritual hell ive been going through....others have even said that the demons/jinns are using him to destroy me which is true...so they influence him into doing these things to me...and he is their pawn so he goes along with it and he is a major sociopath as well.... saying suras...helps a little somewhat it can help very temporarily and I mean like for minutes...its difficult....to get rid of people like this...you have to cleanse your space, move, take drastic measures. this man has this level of control over me and moreso because im totally alone...if I had friends, relatives or positive good people in my life...his energies wouldn't work as effectively. in fact when I had an acquaintance for a month or two and other things he wasn't even there....just recently...when my acquaintance left and then this jerk talked to me on the phone did his very dark energy seep in and I could feel it...I was thinking..oh gosh this feels dark...worse maybe 2 months ago suddenly weird engative things began happening...to where im like oh gosh its energies again...like happening in a consecutive weird pattern that made no sense involving other people too and strange situations.... many people who feel afflicted by negatvitiy jinns most likely are...because you have to be to think that ...just a few negative things isn't something like that...for me its 17 years of if I wrote a book it would be shocking the horrors ive been through...and the pattern of it all....for years I had no friends no life and just suffered in this hell and I couldn't get out...It was so weird....this stuff is really widespread these days too as there are many malicious people out there looking to hurt or destroy others... in my case though....my level of dark stuff Is extreme... the man isn't taking advantage of how im feeling....he's making me feel this way and then laughing at it....when I first met him he wrote on a website "youre in pain youre in severe pain, I own you I control you..youre my puppet..i can make you feel how I want you to feel and I can see everything you do"....I understood everything he wrote....at this point I was beginning to feel his energies and thinking...oh gosh hes an energy vampire...he would do something to me energetically..he'd make me feel something and then tell me "im just making ya feel this way"!! im thinking oh crap..hes one of THOSE freaks again?? oh no....they can project energy at you or manipulate energy to have power/control over people in this way....they can put you in pain make you suffer and do crazy things to you...many have honed their abilities or naturally have them or learned them I think but this person was pretty effective with it...he was also into mind control brainwashing on TOP of all of this...but energy is very powerful...the things it can do to you are surprising....these people do it as a powertrip to have power/control over others and get off on it...for a sociopath its an ULTIMATE form of power/control to be able to control someone mentally energetically and in so many ways...it gives them total dominance over someone in their minds....

[shhann77]

oh yes and thanks I didn't read everything you wrote...definitely yes not to talk to this guy anymore which really I don't...his energy stuff he can juts do on his own and when he wants to it gets dark. years ago he did it pretty bad when we weren't even talking. I had to call a healer because I really thought I was going to die from it...the healer just sent me positive energy and he does it anyway he has radio shows where he sends energy but it helped probably saved me at the time. The other courses i'm not sure what level of bad they are...usually these healer people will sit there and use Quran to pray on things and then you have to 'burn' these papers and drink this water that was prayed on...they usually don't work fully in getting rid of anything and usually just make things worse. the first course I ever did, I had no idea what was going to happen. I was beign tortured by the jinns so badly and it was so painful I couldn't do it after 4-5 days... the last one I did was a healer who had helped a brother in law and my sister and some others...I thought he was legit but I didn't know and my brother in law convinced me to do it. really it did nothing and things have been worse and I think maybe the healer may have had bad intentions somewhere...towards some people. Definitely would never change faiths but this is true because during all of this, I did go to Christians to get help or met many people who were spiritual/Christian and some would say that I was being affected because I was following the wrong faith...it was terrible they said this to me...others said the same as well. two Christian girls I knew and one group was even saying they can only help me if I go through with this retreat...part of the retreat was accepting jesus as my savior...I even went to the thing wanting to do the retreat until they told me basically I HAD to accept jesus Christ in order to complete it...so I left. to me those were all tactics these jinns were using in order to attempt to get me to do this and it was weird...I have tried ruqyah before... or read about it or heard some verses pertaining to it but haven't done it fully...I haven't recited myself sura baqarah and will try that...this black magic negative stuff though has been going on for so many years and it has been really bad... as far as what will really stop it I don't know anymore but I will try to recite those it might help. I think going to mecca might help too and doing umrah etc...I hope to plan to do that at some point soon... I can't imagine jinns being able to harass you when there or near there.... what has happened to me has been for a long time...and it is like a rolling snowball that has gotten bigger and bigger...just more and more things..traumas situations that have happened to me...it hasn't been a normal experience or normal life...it has been absurd and out there and outrageous and I think location has something to do with it too...I think if I moved it would change a lot...I think a lot of these things have power here where im at and others have convinced me moving won't do anything which is part of these things plan...to keep me here..where they have more power....all of this really started when I moved to Orlando fl and it hasn't stopped here..yet when I go other places things are just different and it would probably save me moving but I have this fear...just scared of so many things ...what ive been through would probably have caused people to just become bedridden and unable to function....it is very bad and very scary...these things will destroy people's lives over and over again and leave you hsaving been through so much trauma you can't imagine..and have caused people to turn on you and do horrible things to you...I don't look at my family as 'jinn possessed or influenced' though they probably are....I still see them as "them" having committed these evils against me...and im upset and confused...what ive been through has imo been just so crazy and extreme....and I don't think its anything ive done or being impure, prior to all this hell I was probably at the highest I had ever been faithwise and was very much into praying a lot...I was extremely close with God and on another level..ive always been but at that time I was more so...I was literally just always with God and prayed for many hours a day in fact all I wanted to do was pray....that's why it's all confusing...I know many people hwo are not pure or good and bad and terrible and nothing like that has happened to them ever...in fact for me its almost as if its all happening to me because I was extremely good/pious but that doesn't make sense and is frustrating. those who've done bad to me, in fact seem to get rewarded more and more bad happens to me..that's what confuses me....ive been used treated like a punching bag and literally persecuted....for so many years...now I feel like a martyr or something and it's scary....my suffering has purified me even more but not really...it has made me bitter confused and none of it makes sense....ive begged God during horrid trials and yes they were TRIALS and it was so weird...while I was going through them I would ask God...I don't understand? why this trial??? it makes no rational sense why im going through these BIZARRE situations..for what purpose? sometimes I would get a small answer from God by feeling/sensing his presence near only for a little bit...I don't understand?? in fact all I Went through for MANY years was trial after trial, after TRIAL...no fun no friends no LIFE...all I did was suffer trials...kind of like what some prophets went through or people who had to go through non-stop trials...in some strange symbolic way....it was only trials and people can't understand because many really don't have to go through something like that....it was something extreme in a very intense experience...I kept asking God...what does this mean...what is the purpose of all these crazy trials??? in fact even when I met that crazy man...my sister yelled "he's just another TRIAL"!!! huh??? how would she even KNOW that...obviously...this is creepy that she, being some lay person on the side would recognize that hes a trial...or was she being influenced into saying that. I thought...no...no he's not a trial?!! it can't be... yet he was a horrid trial...and all I did was 'SUFFER'...the weird thing is...all I did was suffer and suffer, and suffer horridly...being abused tortured in various ways sadist style (not physical but other ways)...but suffering horribly...and I suffered and suffered...and even if I knew I was going to suffer I couldn't stop it...everything also felt out of my control...no matter what I was going to suffer these trials even if I tried to get away I couldn't...I was forced to experience them...and they were only trials...and trials and trials..to where I suffered so much trauma no one could bear..with no support and no one...and in the end...I still don't understand...why I can't find relief, a break...something....ive been told oh to end these spiritual trials you must do this, do that, forgive your abusers etc....ive done it..i think ive done it all but they still won't end... or I now can't get these crazy people out of my life....and its just getting weird....though ive managed to attempt tto 'get a life or try to in between all of this"...or do some fun things...try....I don't know why or for what purpose I had to go through 10-14 years of terrible trials and nothing else....I wanted to write a book about all of it...it was so extreme and intense and out there...it wasn't normal life..this was something spiritual and something major...for the person going through it...but at this point...I just don't want to relive it all and have to write everything pertaining to it..but while I was going through it I was like this Is crazy...this is something....so surreal and crazy people don't go through this....

[shhann77]

I also think that yes only God can actually save me from this....and I have to do specific certain kinds of prayers to maybe get him to Help me. I do know that sometimes you may have to pray for many years to receive help..this is what ive experienced.... what ive been through has been like...you go through one bad thing, then another and another and more and more, and more and it doesnt' end?? its like youre strapped to a roller coaster and you have to go through the ride of horror..it won't end..more and more horrors trials serious hell bad severe situations, then you try to escape and you go into more and more bad situations, bad people trials...you don't have a life, no fun its just suffering....and you watch others...they have a seemingly normal life, but your path is different... you are only suffering in very bizarre situations too...like why is this happening to me?? you are strapped to something different and you want to escape but you can't...you try reaching out to others and nothing happens..no one helps you and then only more and more bad things keep happening..and very strange bizarre things... why me and why THESE strange crazy situations. Why this extremeness of these situations....and you think after 1,2,3,4 years or more...it will finally end..one day the trials will stop but they didn't. They only got worse and worse....and crazier and stranger. I would beg God..even when I intuitively felt they were beginning and some had happened...pleaes God...please don't let me go through this...but theres nothing you can do.. and you try so hard to get a 'normal life'...positive good people, married anything...youre trying so hard to escape this THING you're on...this horrible path full of hell that you can't escape....but no matter what you can't...it's as if it's your destiny to suffer these things ie predestination....you try to get help from people and either, people turn away from you or no one helps and those who try can't really do anything....you have to bond back with your abusers/enemies and they are the only people in your life and oddly no one else can seemingly be a part of your life for some reason...people just disappear or you can't meet anyone. you try desperately but it won't happen...and youre forced to forgive your abusers because apparently no one else will come into your life and youre suffering more and more. as you suffer trials and attempt to crawl back from the pit you've been thrown in, people are making you suffer more and more and even more trials are happening. you cant even heal....its a crazy torturous terrible experience....and it doesn't feel like its just randomly happening..this isn't random life, or normal life....this is very orchestrated...something crazy is going on and its happening to you and you can't really do much about it. if I wrote a story about the things ive been through...it would be shocking.. all the different horrid things...just only negativity for years and years...bad horrible situations, bad things....nothing positive....then the situations get worse and more extreme...nothing normal good or positive...just suffering and horror...that's the best way to describe it...the human mind body and soul is not equipped to deal with that much suffering and trauma to be honest...I don't think most people would have survived what ive experienced....its like a whirlwind of hell...it is hell and so crazy...and youre forced to beg and pray to God 24/7...literally...asking God for help...all the time...saying please...end this..stop this..what IS this?? people ignorantly try to say "oh it's life...life"...but they don't know...it wasn't life...it was something else...something extreme...some terrible intense spiritual experience of horrors and nightmares...beyond your worst imagination...of course there are those 'spiritual people' that will say "oh its past life karma"...youre now paying for all the karmic debt..that's why youre going through all these bad things...I don't believe that but the level of crap hell and suffering and weird situations ive been through have been SO strange...you do wonder..i mean that sounds like a logical explanation though I don't believe it...but even going there...I mean no..even if this is karmic debt (totally different level of believing)...it would have to be on a huge level for someone to have to suffer THIS much...I mean this is pointless unnecessary suffering that makes NO sense....that's what I didn't understand...how pointless and unnecessary these trials were...if there was a meaning or purpose to them then it would make sense...but it was pointless...I just suffered and suffered...and was put through major hells and oppression and more and more of it only for it to really mean nothing....my Christian friend said 'you've been through persecution...I don't know how you do it"...I said how do you know?? these chrisiians know because they have studied spirituality and understand these trials...some of them can explain in detail what ive been through only because they've read about it...ive lived it...but again ...I don't understand..the purpose the meaning and why....ive been asking this of God for many years..to end these and to help me understand for what reason did I suffer these crazy things and all this suffering...this oppression and worse now witnessing my abusers get great spouses....even another trial!! ive been praying to God for a spouse for 16 years...and got only the most sociopathic people in my life to torture me...serial killer type sociopaths...no friends nothing...and yet my worst abusers those who've abused and done so much bad to me get more good in their life??? now THIS has been really hard...even though they've been married before but now its like...theyre married again and here I am still alone and suffering?? like if God could allow me to have A spouse...it could save me from these horrors....and all these oppressors STILL in my life but it won't happen?? its so confusing....

[shhann77]

i will say that in the past ive played ruyqah tapes from youtube or wherever and it was too powerful...I was in a lot of pain and couldn't handle it so I stopped out of fear..i played it now and there was a lot of pain and the energies in my house began getting crazy..and even my cats were running around freaking out...there was a lot of messed up energy and I could feel the energy just painful/hot...could even sense the jinns/things well wont get into that....but this energy cleared up...after a while it got better and though playing it is still a bit painful....its shocking how the energy in my house cleared up...and its this light...that its never been before....I assume a ruqyah is strong and I hope done right and effective...im just surprised at what ive experienced...it doesn't mean anything or is any long term cure...who knows. I don't know where exactly all this bad energy has come from whether its the crazy man or other strange people I've met too or something initially but its weird how strong that ruqyah was...

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum,
I'm glad the ruyqah had effect. And you shouldn't be surprised, Allah is all powerfull. Djinns have no power unless he allows it. The reasons previous sessions didn't work was probably because it wasn't done right. Like drinking the water of burned paper and such, those come close to shirk, because you're worshiping the verses and the paper it was writen on, and seeking refuge in them rather then in Allah. Just keep reciting the last two verses of surah baraqa and the last three surah (al-ichlaas, al-falaq, an-naas); and seek refuge with Allah against the shaytaan.

And yes, be carefull about other methods of treatment that don't fall under the sunnah of the prophet peace be upon him. There are various hadeeth in which he makes clear that the recitation of the verses I mentioned should be sufficient for anyone. So if you seek protection beyond that you are in a way commiting shirk, and ascribing partners to Allah rather then just going to Allah for protection.

I'm a bit troubled on how to react to what you said about energy vampirism and life energy and such. I'm not sure those things exist according to Islamic creed and suspect that this is the psychosomatic condition I mentioned before. Then again, I don't want to pretend that I know everything. So i geuss all I can do, is to advise you to consider the possibility that this is not something magical, but just a psychological manifestation of your own fears. And Alah subhana wa ta'ala knows best.

[shhann77]

oh ok thanks and salam...and yes the ruqyah did have effect but then shortly after the energies came back...negative energies...I try other methods of attempting to ge trid of the energies...and yes energy vampirism does exist...even scientifically it does..islamiclly yes too because its all a part of black magic. it has nothing to do with psychosomatic its energy...all black magic is based on energy and entities... many people are victims of energy vampires...and they do exist. There are books on it and it is scientifically a "fact"...not sci fi or anything like that. There are ways of protection but they don't always work and its difficult if one has a direct connection to you. also black magic is similar and these people who do it will form direct connections to their victims to torture them this way. And no its not a psych manifestation...people who are victims of psi vampires and black magic there are millions and there are specific effects associated with each ... google psi vampires and look up the books. I also began reading books on it once I met a different one many years ago before this one. To ignore the truth about these things gives it more power...unfortunately as it is a reality afflicted by many. As I said I even met a counselor years ago who was a victim to one...who was doing similar energy things to her. there are many dark people who use energies to inflict control n power over others...its more common these days as well as there is more evil out there in the world....its true many people are afflicted by black magic...though some people do rush to thinking its magic when its' not. Ie my sister has been married three times....because her marriages didn't work out she attributed it to some kind of curse. I laugh because that is not a curse...its her poor and hasty bad choices... healers confirmed there was a curse down our family line but I can guarantee she wasn't afflicted by anything. Me on the other hand....my situation has been a curse on another level....people afflicted by black magic or these things are not in fear of it...they have to suffer it then realize what is going on. I knew a guy who was afflicted terribly by black magic...by a man who stole his GF from him and brought her to him then tried killing the guy with black magic. a sufi helped him most likely saved his life. its all real...energy is real and demons are real...this is all in the Quran...even many prophets were afflicted by black magic...black magicians many are energy vampires too..it all works hand in hand....and they use energies in heinous ways to control or destroy others or torture or kill them. this man wasn't just a psi vampire he did extreme forms of black magic/voodoo type...and many of these also are versed in voodoo type deeds. these are all very dark and sick and the things they do are scary.....to be a victim of it is difficult...especially when there is no relief or help and in some cases there can be little help/relief from othesr. also when they connect to people their connections create more negativity for the person and in their life....in many cases aside from the demonic spirits they use to cause this, they are leeching people's good energy and dumping their bad into them so it causes more bad to happen to them...only if you make amends with the person doing this will they stop this from happening or play their game. anyhow I know it all because ive lived it..and hope it helps someone else who is a victim of these people. tai chi is energy and it can help with protection...if done properly but if you are a victim and these people have a direct connection to you in various ways well its not that easy. Also negative energies attract more negative energies so it becomes a snowball effect.... theres an understanding to it and its a serious thing in life...its not just nothing. some people try to ignore it and say its psychological but that's false...because it gives them more power to ignore it plus its just not true...the metaphysical exists and it exists esp in the Quran and in Islam...suras can help but in many cases extra help is needed....major help. Ruqyah may help short term but that could be even ten minutes...for people in these situations major action is needed including something similar to cleansings or Islamic exorcisms....

[shhann77]

my mother is an energy vampire but not an actual 'vampire' though she could be who knows. Some are unintentional but those who consciously and with the ability to drain others and manipulate energy are the ones who are real and potent. That crazy man was a real psi vampire type one who can truly manipulate energy and is well versed in the metaphysical..and has many strange metaphysical abilities of which I have witnessed myself. my mother just drains and tortures me for her own sociopathic sadistic desires...ie she will come to my place, not talk to me nothing positive. she will hang around and if she does talk to me sheis either putting me down, belittling me or telling me I owe her and my dad money. start saying, ok well I brought this paper over, and you owe this money for this and tha tmoney for that...then start getting angry ...very devious sick person. They are rich and seek to oppress and still financially control me which is so wrong and evil along with other major bad things they did to me. If they can't control me one way they will try other ways...they are always saying I owe them this or that and trying to take money from me. their goal is so that I can never truly become financially independent and may seek them for financial dependence...what parent or person would want that for their offspring...very evil thing to do. I have to lie to them and pretend I don't have much money otherwise if they knew I had any savings they would try to find a way to take it. once I won a bonus of 100.00 at a job and my dad found out...then he tried to upcharge me for something and take the 100.00...I mean seriously...that is such an evil thing to do to someone....they are really bad people but ive been brainwasahed....due to so much abuse...this is all the aftermath of their 'major bad stuff'...its just too much...he's a physician who is probably well beyond a millionaire..they also pretend they don't have much money and are struggling... they try to hide from me what they have. They have bought my brother a very nice car and given them lots of money but try to charge me here and there for little things...they are monsters...I am in my 30's now and they still want to control/destroy me. if im even talking to a male they get very jealous and controlling and act as if I have no right to talk to a male. they get jealous over anything I do. how people can think this way shocks me...they are not like that with my siblings of course...my siblings can get married over and over again and they are happy for them. Me...if I even have a friend my crazy mother gets jealous and angry/upset...she is really sick..and those who hurt control others are just really bad people...

[Abdul Fattah]

Look, lets get something straight. I'm as openminded as the next guy and i'm not even saying that it doesn't exist.
And sure there might be many things in this world that we don't know off. But, some of the things you said are simply not true.

1) There is no scientific proof nor any islamic proof for the existance of energy vampirism.
2) In fact there isn't even any scentific proof that we have any such "energy" to begin with. Positive or negative. There is no such measurable, detectable shroud that can in any way be noticed. And there is no indication at all in any religious scripture that such a thing exist
3) There are plenty of hadeeth that tell us that ruquyah is suffiefient a cure for black magic. If that doesn't help, chances are you're dealing with something thats either physical or psychological.


You should not be concearned trying to convince me. The. Fact that you put so much effort in convincing me shows me that deep down you have your own doubts. However you're to scared to admit that. Because if you'd admit that you would have to come out of your victim-role. And as scary as these pains you experience might be, the idea of no longer being in that familiar role scares you even more. Because from then on you'll have to make your own decisions, and take the responsability that comes with independence. And you're afraid that if you'd fail then (and you think you will, out of low self- esteem) it would reflect poorly on you and for the first time in life you'll have to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. So you need this story to be true.

And I' m sorry if I'm being harsh with you, but if you cannot/will not at least consider the possibility that what you experience could be psychological, then I don't know what to advice you.

[shhann77]

youer very mistaken I am not trying to prove anything to you on any level...im merely stating the facts...so someone speaking their opinion on something is someone trying to prove something to YOU? that makes no sense...at all nor the analysis of it.....most of the world tries to ignore metaphysics and the reality of it and claim its psychological...this Is the actual work of shaytan to ignore HIM and his actions...so that more people are afflicted in terrible ways...it is also NOT true that ruqyah is the only way to get rid of black magic...you are very incorrect and obviously not versed in any of this. my brother had an Egyptian teacher who had to get rid of jinns and he used these courses as well. And went through the same pain and suffering. THis is not just me or one or two people this is millions...who are afflicted by these symptoms and pain..they definitely NOT psychological and all magic spoken about is "Energy"...this is energy and yes its talked about in the Quran because magic is energy. People are afflicted by black magic indifferent ways and if the solution was an easy as ruqyah the world would be a much simpler place. I am also not trying to prove anything to you but to state the truth which is very important in the world today... PSYCHIC vampirism and black magic is VERY real and to say its psychological isnt good and causes more problems in this world. I definitely am not here to seek your advice or approval....im here to talk and possibly vent and get advice if not that's fine but just talk because I am suffering sometimes. ALso, to rule things out as psychological is demeaning and it puts the problem on the person and not the actual issue going on ...this is where shaytan and his demons can continue affecting people and no one ever finds a real solution....my brother who is well versed in this stuff too in fact researched and found out that using the Quran in fact is a halal way of getting rid of jinns..and listening to a tape isn't what does it....its complicated and many healers do follow the Islamic way of getting rid of jinns...it is not sci fi hocus pocus and people like you who haven't really had to deal with it are lucky because you haven't but don't undermine the truth and reality of it by claiming its psychological and turning it all on the person who is already a victim and suffering..and saying im in a victim role..yes ive been a victim and most victims can be and victims need help they don't need condescension and demeaning words to further confuse them unfortunately I have been a victim otherwise I would like to help out those in a similar situation because people like me who are compassionate understanding and who have been trhough a lot of these things can fully understand every aspect of them....rather than those who really haven't..who lack that compassion and understanding...my words are also used to speak the truth about it and to show anyone reading this how I feel not prove anything to you..why would that even be something to say....im talking and speaking my point...and how I feel and my opinions..thats discussion...its not that people are trying to prove anything to you...that makes no sense...and your analysis on the reasoning is so silly and makes no sense either...

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum
Sorry for taking so long, I haven't had time last few days to post.
I must say I'm somewhat disappointed in your response. I never said that all metaphysical things are explained by psychology. In fact I stated quite clearly that I believe in the existence of black magic and djinns, but that I suspect that in your case that it could be both. And I didn't even dismiss any possibility, I just expressed my concerns and advised you to at least consider the other possibility. I'm sorry if you felt that is dismissive, I certainly didn't mean to imply that it's all on you. I would think that it was clear from post that I consider whatever is happening to you quite serious, and that I showed concern for your well being, but that I was just suggesting to be more open-minded to different scenarios.
Furthermore, you say that I'm not well versed in these things because I said that there is no other way of getting rid of black magic besides ruqyah. But if you scroll up, you'll see that this wasn't what I said. I know that there are other ways. What I said was that ruqyah is the only method we SHOULD use to get rid of it. And I'm also aware that many people have different "methods" of dealing with this. But that doesn't mean their approach is hallal. And this is why I suspect that part of what your dealing with is psychosomatic. Not because I always think this by default; but because ruqyah is barely helping.

As for whether or not the existence of good and bad energy, and energy vampirism. You claim that I was wrong, and that there is proof for all of that, but I don't see you bringing any references. I know about ayaath from the quran and hadeeth that speak of black magic and djinn, but not of any that speak of energy, and people having good or bad energy, and the ability to dump or take someone elses energy. I also don't see you bringing forward any scientific references of any such thing.

And yes, I was harsh. I even admitted that in my previous posts. But I still had your best interest in heart. So even if you disagree with my analysis/opinion, there was no reason to get so verbally aggressive.