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facethetruth
09-22-2013, 10:47 PM
Al salam Alikom,

Which one would you chose?

Marrying an online pious practicing woman or an average live muslima?

Also could be vise versa for sisters an online practicing man or an average man who you know in person ?

clarification: You met two women one looks pious and practicing, likes to seek knowledge, qyam lail...etc but online on a marriage website, and another woman who is average wears the hijab but nothing special but you met her in person through someone. Which one would you consider for marriage?
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Iceee
09-22-2013, 11:11 PM
Salaam.

I don't understand your question.

Both girls can be online on Facebook? Please explain. LOL.
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ardianto
09-24-2013, 02:44 AM
Waalaikumsalam

Pious? how can you know that she is pious, especially if you know her only in internet?.

I live in a Muslim majority country where I know personally a number of pious Muslims and few Islamic teachers. I often talk with them. Do you know? they talk about Islam only when they need to talk about Islam, and they never claim themselves as pious person. Different than few Muslim men who I know that love to talk about Islam, about sunnah, but .... still watching porn.

Bro, do not believe those who claim themselves as pious person, or try to show their 'piousness' to other people because people like this actually are not pious people but those who called the munafiqoon (hypocrite).
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facethetruth
09-24-2013, 10:26 AM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Pious? how can you know that she is pious, especially if you know her only in internet?
Yes you are right about this.



Originally Posted by ardianto
but those who called the munafiqoon (hypocrite).
We cant judge neither if they are hypocrite nor they are pious. When dealing with them we should react to what is obvious but also careful so we are not fooled by them.
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ardianto
09-24-2013, 12:17 PM
Originally Posted by facethetruth
We cant judge neither if they are hypocrite nor they are pious. When dealing with them we should react to what is obvious but also careful so we are not fooled by them.
Yes, you're right.

I am sorry, when I wrote that post I remember to few people who I've ever meet in the real world.
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facethetruth
09-24-2013, 03:09 PM
Inshalah tomorrow I am going to consult one of the biggest scholars in the region about this, because unfortunately I really wanted to marry a practicing woman like who where niqab, following strictly the deen but I could not find one many look more religous than they really are. I found mashalah a very good sister who is welling to wear the niqab and does not belong to sect, beautiful and everything also has no problem to raise my kid when I bring him inshalah but I wished that I find someone who wears it for the sake of Allah rather because I asked her for it so thats why I am a bit confused. The online thing is a HUGE risk when I used to live in the U.S I met my Ex online and it was a disaster, she wore the niqab and now she is in clubs after divorce thats what happen when people are doing something not for the sake of Allah!!! But this one pray at night so I hope she is better. May Allah guide her. It is really a tough choice, if I die for the sake of Allah one day I want a god fearing woman who will raise my children and be responsible, pray for me.
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straightpath1
09-30-2013, 01:27 AM
I hope Allah grants you a pious wife Ameen .. Make sure u get to know the online one better before u make up ur mind
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facethetruth
10-16-2013, 03:45 AM
No online marriage anymore, I heard really dangerous stories an example, a woman who is 26 got married 12 times so far!!! May Allah protect us.
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sister herb
10-16-2013, 01:19 PM
Originally Posted by facethetruth
Also could be vise versa for sisters an online practicing man or an average man who you know in person ?
Salam alaykum

If you "meet" someone (man or woman) only online, you never can´t to be sure if he/she is in real the same and similar like he/she writes online and is your "image" about he/she real or it is only your own vision.

Internet is internet, real life is somewhere in an outdoor.
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ardianto
10-16-2013, 05:36 PM
Originally Posted by facethetruth
No online marriage anymore, I heard really dangerous stories an example, a woman who is 26 got married 12 times so far!!! May Allah protect us.
What you mean with online marriage? getting married only in internet?

:?
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sister herb
10-16-2013, 08:30 PM
^^ Marriage in internet only doesn´t sound legal in islam. Just my opinion. :uuh:
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Mustafa2012
10-16-2013, 08:45 PM
Originally Posted by facethetruth
Inshalah tomorrow I am going to consult one of the biggest scholars in the region about this, because unfortunately I really wanted to marry a practicing woman like who where niqab, following strictly the deen but I could not find one many look more religous than they really are. I found mashalah a very good sister who is welling to wear the niqab and does not belong to sect, beautiful and everything also has no problem to raise my kid when I bring him inshalah but I wished that I find someone who wears it for the sake of Allah rather because I asked her for it so thats why I am a bit confused. The online thing is a HUGE risk when I used to live in the U.S I met my Ex online and it was a disaster, she wore the niqab and now she is in clubs after divorce thats what happen when people are doing something not for the sake of Allah!!! But this one pray at night so I hope she is better. May Allah guide her. It is really a tough choice, if I die for the sake of Allah one day I want a god fearing woman who will raise my children and be responsible, pray for me.
:salam:

Finding a partner online is not recommended.

I personally know three people who used this method and in all three cases it was a disaster. The women were only marrying for financial reasons. The sad part of it is that there were kids involved in all three cases.

In one case the father was prevented from seeing his kid who was so cute :ma:. The 2nd one's kid is now on the other side of the world so it's very difficult to see them.

One of them was cheating on their husband and has several kids from several men all being looked after by social services because she is not fit enough to look after her kids. Needless to say, that one didn't last long. And I won't even mention the part about the kid who's life is ruined because of a mother who cannot control her desires.

There's another story about a sister who was communicating with a brother via Skype and she looked quite attractive but when he went to meet her in person he said she looked very different. This put him off completely from looking online.

The problem with meeting people online is that you cannot verify the claims of the person because in most cases, you do not know anyone they know who can personally verify what they're saying is true.

The traditional way of meeting people through people you know whether it's family or friends is best because at least you are likely to know someone who the other side knows and you can get some real life verification.

It's always best to see the person, in person.

The other issue nowadays is the health aspect. I've heard that some people require you to take a HIV/AIDS test before they'll consider you any further and vice versa. That is how bad things are nowadays.

You said you've already had a bad experience via the online method. Are you sure you want to go through all that again?

Since you asked for advice, my sincere advice to you brother is to:

1. Put your trust in Allaah :arabic2:.
2. Make sincere du'aa
3. Firstly make sure you're able to fulfil the rights of the woman.
4. Then get the word out and and speak to people you know.
5. :ia: what is written for you will come to you but use the correct means and be patient.
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sister herb
10-16-2013, 08:59 PM
Salam alaykum

I know kind of stories about online "marriages" when men just want to get visa to Europe or is already in Europe but keeps girlfriends online after marriage. Kind of online stories both girlfriends and wife hadn´t had no idea about their exist of others and it has been shock to both...

+o(

The best to have real connection to person or family or friends before decision of marriage.
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Mustafa2012
10-16-2013, 09:13 PM
Oh and one thing I'd highly recommend is performing Salaat Al Istikhaarah.

This has always worked for me in important decisions I've needed to make.

If the thing is not meant to be then I always find some kid of obstacle comes in the way and prevents it from happening.

On the other hand, if it's meant to be then everything goes smoothly.
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sister herb
10-16-2013, 09:30 PM
Salam alaykum

Salaat Al Istikhaarah worked with me too (I am not innocent by internet online matters but I have learnt my lessons already - may Allah safe me kind of mistakes in the future :heated: ).
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ardianto
10-16-2013, 11:50 PM
I understand if two persons acquainted in internet, then continue with meeting in the real world, getting married and establish a family like other people.

However, I feel something odd with the 26 years old women who has been married for 12 times. It could be happen only if she did nikah only in internet and does not living together with her 'husbands'.

But, does marriage only in internet really exist?
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