Forgiveness.... and avoiding ignorance

[TheHijabiHalima]

Assalamu'alaykum, Brothers and Sisters,

For the past 9 or 10 years of my life (don't worry, I'm older than that, lol) I've been a Muslim just by name - the only good deeds I did were fasting, and wearing my Hijab.
I'm not going to lie, I only started becoming consistent with my Salah just this Ramadhan. I've sinned so many times, it hurts me. I regret it so much. I want Allah (Azzawajal) to forgive me... but I am having difficulty refraining from sinning. Out of sheer laziness, I missed 4 salahs yesterday :(. I'm a busy person; abundant in school, homework & family problems, which means I often can't read Fajr & Dhuhr on time. I try so badly though. I can manage the others, Alhamdullilah.
I feel like I'm a terrible Muslim, and my friend told me that whenever I question my Iman, it's actually a sign of faith. I hope he's right, 'cause I'm questioning over and over.
I want Allah (Azzawajal)'s forgiveness so badly. And I do ask for that in my prayer. I do feel all regretful in my salah... but I can never shed a tear out of my regret. I can do it when I'm reading Harry Potter, but why can't I do it to the one who created me? I feel so ignorant!!!

Ever since I've been praying my 5 a day, I feel so much more peaceful. Yet, I'm still lazy. I'm so scared of the grave and the day of Judgement. I sincerely want Allah (Azzawajal) to forgive me. Please can the rest of the Ummah help me, by telling me some prayers and dhikrs to read? Also, give me Hadith & Qur'anic references.

I don't want to be a muslim by name. I don't want to be ignorant. Please help me? imsad

- Halima

[crimsontide06]

welcome to the forums, you could post this in the advice section as this section is for introductions only. I hope you get the advice you are looking for.