format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
:sl:, hello everyone .. :)
I am thinking whether or not I should get back in touch with my old friends in high school and primary school. The problem is that I never felt appreciated and felt neglected after we changed school after primary school and went to our different paths in high school(not all) but same thing happened after high school also. During high school I've felt the same thing but I wouldn't want to blame them. How shall I put this.. hummm, we have poor communication skills but we never really admitted it, they would ask me to listen to their stories but wouldn't listen to mine, for some reason I always feel demotivated and inferior to them when I meet them. Now after high school we have contact rarely(maybe because their hanging out with their new friends). Should I meet with them again? I feel really angry whenever I think about it about I'm sure they don't know about this because I never talked to them about this before. What do you think?
:wasalamex brother,
In life we will come across many types of people.
Some are meant to be with you for just a particular time in your life, and then move on.
^These include your classmates, work colleagues and other acquaintances that we make over lifes course.
Others are destined to be with you for much longer - they may include your family, your spouse, and a few, close friends.
^These types of friends are much harder to find, but when you do, you are able to recognize them - for there will exist certain common similarities in your personalities, interests, morals, etc. that makes the friendship durable despite the challenges of time and other commitments.
It is the second group of people that you should ensure that you chose well, and also spend the time and necessary efforts to nurture your relationship/ friendship with.
Because, it is
this group of individuals that
really matter.
For everyone else - you can be friendly, kind and considerate towards them.
But there will always be a certain 'barrier' that will prevent a deep/ profound friendship from ever developing. Usually this is because, each of us are different, in our personalities, lifestyles, beliefs, likes and dislikes.
It is often said that the most valuable friend is one who increases your level of imaan just by being in their presence.
(In shaa Allah, I hope we can all become this type of friend to those who come in contact with us as well.)
From what you have mentioned, it appears that the 'friends' that you have described actually fall into the first category - they were only meant to be in your life for a certain period....perhaps as a test or as a lesson.....
But now that purpose has been served, and hence everyone has moved on with their lives.
With regards to your query - if they are individuals with poor manners and are likely to have a negative influence on your imaan - then in this case, in shaa Allah, it would be best to keep your distance.
If there is no fear with regards to the above, then it should be adequate to make contact if the need arises (e.g at a reunion, under permissible circumstances).....but dont expect too much thereafter (as it is unlikely that these types of friendships will develop into anything deeper).
Also remember, your best 'friend' is your Creator, Allah.
And there is more benefit working on your relationship and connection to Allah, than anyone else.
:wa: