Need Advice: Would like to teach my wife Islam? Any help? Guidance?

[animehunter123]

ASA,

I married a few years ago. I was very ignorant and ignored my families advice of marrying a non-muslim woman. I am muslim myself, but now I am trying to fix my life inshallah. Jazak Allah khair for everyones advice. I have a question...

My wife is christian, and is the nicest person in the world to me. I want her (secretly) to embrace Islam someday but I am scared to talk to her about it. Her family is very religeous and goes to the Church often, and even sing in the Choir. They are very nice people and I respect them very much.

In the coming years, I want to pray for her to open her eyes to Islam someday but I dont want to force her against her will. Does anyone know any Duat I can do to help with this? Again may Allah jazak many khair for your advice and thank you brothers and sisters,

-H.

[Signor]

Waalikum Assalaam

Islam is not a religion, its an entire lifestyle. It incorporates every thing - acceptable behavior, food, clothing, its not something a Christian is used to.Your wife will have to learn what to speak,rethink how she will dress, what will she eat, where and if they will work outside their home.Results in separating her self from everything she grew up knowing as normal.Following suggestions could be useful:

With our practical example, gentle words, and with demonstrating our own commitment to Islam, our da`wah efforts will yield desirable fruits. In calling others to Islam, we should not use any form of compulsion, for Allah Almighty says, “There is no compulsion in religion…”
(Al-Baqarah: 256)

Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states the following:

"Our job is to convey the message of Islam beautifully and clearly. It is Allah Who guides whomsoever He wills. We should not say that we are 'converting' someone. People convert themselves. It is a kind of tawbah (repentance) and qubul (acceptance) for them. They are turning to Allah and accepting the true faith.

When you speak to Christians, emphasize what Allah says in the Qur’an: “And argue not with the People of the Scripture unless it be in (a way) that is better, save with such of them as do wrong; and say: We believe in that which hath been revealed unto us and revealed unto you; our God and your God is One, and unto Him we surrender.” (Al-`Ankabut:46)

In order to explain the message of Islam to them, the first step is to emphasize tawhid, the belief in the Oneness of Allah. The principle of tawhidshirk (associating others with Allah). It should be emphasized to them that we in Islam hold Jesus (peace and blessings be upon him) in great esteem and honor. We believe in him. But, at the same time, we must say that he was a human being, not God or the son of God. God has not sons, daughters, brothers or sisters. God is God and there is none like Him. No human being was or is God, and God does not take the form of humans or animals. If tawhid becomes clear to their minds then it will be easy for them to accept other aspects of Islam.
must be very clear to them. Let them understand how wrong is

Sheik Yusuf Estes adds:

"Calling non-Muslims to Islam can’t be achieved through talk about Islam only. There must be a practical model that should be offered by the one who calls others to Islam. In today’s world, Islam is in no need for orators who can captivate the audience with their resounding words. Rather, Islam is in a real need for those who really practice its teachings and try their best, while being guided by their good example, to call non-Muslims to Islam.

In other words, those who call to Islam should practice what they preach. Their actions should speak louder than their words.

In short, those who call others to Islam should make use of the following tips:

1- The one who intends to call others to Islam should practice Islam in the right way. After that, he can call others to Islam through wisdom and fair exhortation and he should be keen that his “walk follow his talk.”

2- There should be no compulsion to the target audience, as people usually reject those who compel them to accept an ordinary matter, let alone a creedal concept.

3- The da`iyah should be thoughtful. He should not say, while trying to call a Christian to Islam, for example: “How shameful that 1= 3 and 3=1.”

4- The da`iyah must be himself in the sense that he is not supposed to act the role of an instructor or a good public speaker while actually he isn’t.

5- The da`iyah should not expect that his target audience will change their beliefs 100%. Rather, the da`iyah should expect from them to accept the basics of Islam and to gradually try with them to change some of their distorted beliefs.

6- A gradual approach in da`wah is so beneficial and will bring about good results. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) spent 13 years in Makkah trying to anchor the basic concepts of Islamic creed among new Muslims.

7- In calling non-Muslims, we should concentrate on creedal concepts and we should not demand the new Muslims to do more than what Allah obliges them to do."

Other beneficial links:

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/14418
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/2690
http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...d&Id=19218
http://www.islamhouse.com/d/files/en..._christian.pdf
http://www.islamicbulletin.org/free_...m_in_focus.pdf

May Allah help you to be the good example to those around and convincing her for what best for both of you,Ameen

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:


give her Quran as a gift and request her to read . U may give her books / CD on Mary in Islam , Jesus and Mary in Quran etc . It may encourage her to learn more about Islam .


keep praying to Allah to guide her.

[~Zaria~]

ASA,

I married a few years ago. I was very ignorant and ignored my families advice of marrying a non-muslim woman. I am muslim myself, but now I am trying to fix my life inshallah. Jazak Allah khair for everyones advice. I have a question...

My wife is christian, and is the nicest person in the world to me. I want her (secretly) to embrace Islam someday but I am scared to talk to her about it. Her family is very religeous and goes to the Church often, and even sing in the Choir. They are very nice people and I respect them very much.

In the coming years, I want to pray for her to open her eyes to Islam someday but I dont want to force her against her will. Does anyone know any Duat I can do to help with this? Again may Allah jazak many khair for your advice and thank you brothers and sisters,

-H.

:salamext: brother,

Below are just some small suggestions from me with regards to your question:

1. Keep in mind, that guidance ONLY comes from Allah (subhanawataála).
I think that we all realize this sub-consciously, but sometimes, we are so determined and desperate to see our loved ones embrace Islam (or if they are already muslim - to live their lives according to the teachings of our deen), that we may inadvertently over-step our 'limits' and worse, we may actually be the cause for the person to become even more distanced from the truth.

So, its really important that we are tactful in our methods of introducing others to islam, that we remain humble, kind and gentle in our manner.

2. The best form of dawah that we can ever give........is to be a LIVING EXAMPLE of Islam.
In other words, we dont just talk about Islam.
But we strive to become a reflection (as far as our sinful beings can emulate) the manner of the Prophet (sallalahu alaihi wasalam) - in our speech, our dress, our day-to-day interactions with others.....and every other aspect of our life.

Which means that before we can try to, in shaa Allah, influence another persons way of living, we have to first change ourselves - and first, put into practice, all that we wish to preach.

If you are not already making an effort to follow the sunnah of the prophet (in ALL aspects), then this is a good start.

So, e.g. if you do not have a beard as yet - then, work on this in shaa Allah.
If you do not wake up for tahajjud and fajr everyday, and do not read in congregation for each salaah (if the masjid is close-by) - then in shaa Allah, you can make efforts here.
If you are in the habit of listening to music, watching movies and things that bring the displeasure of Allah - then, strive to release these from your life as well.

^ In other words, when we start to change our OWN lives (for the reason of seeking the pleasure of Allah, not for the sake of others)......then our own environment starts to change.......and in turn, this changes the environment of those who we live with.

So, even if your wife initially had absolutely no interest in Islam before, when she sees that her husband is making these profound changes to his life (e.g. every morning, he leaves his bed to pray, etc)......then, in shaa Allah, she will start to wonder about what has inspired you, and she may start asking questions and develop an interest in the beautiful teachings of our deen.

3. Fill your home with remembrances of Allah - e.g. invest in books on the life of Muhammad (sallalahu alaihi wasalam), the basics of islam, as well as translated copies of the Quraan and leave them in open areas where everyone can access them.
In shaa Allah, out of curiosity, she may decide to look into them, and out of her own accord, she may find interest in learning about islam.
Also, set some time out each day to listen to the recitation of quraan with translation, and islamic lectures - which will be of benefit towards yourself, as well as your wife in shaa Allah.

4. Look out for islamic events or talks in your area and invite her to join you (if there are ladies facilities available).
If she refuses, thats ok - go ahead by yourself, and when you return, try to share a few important lessons that you have learnt - and be enthusiastic whenever you speak.


5. Finally, and most importantly: dont give up on making duaa that Allah (subhanawataála) opens her heart to the truth.
No matter how long it may take: remain hopeful, trust in the plans of Allah - and remember, ultimately:

"Indeed, you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills.
And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided." (Quran 28:56)


May Allah (subhanawataála) grant your wife guidance and imaan, as well as every other person who has not as yet tasted the sweetness of living their lives for His pleasure.
Ameen.


:wa: