parents

[samy2013]

#3samy2013*Limited MemberJoin DateOct 2013GenderMaleReligionIslamPosts2Threads1Reputatio n5Rep Power0Likes:Received0Given1

*Re: Parents

salaams, I am in a very deep confusion ,I am from india and living in Africa married have 3 kids I left india 19 years back due to father abusive behaviour and even had no job ,I work in a company looking after my 3 kids and wife, I have been fulfilling what ever I can to my parents, and they are wel to do they own a shop in india getting a good rental, I always respect my parents, but since ive stepped I this world ive lived in an ambiounce whre my parents always quarrelling my dad being abusive to me, and my sisters, I left india because my father didn't want me thre its like we were a burden for thm till todays date, im always wanting to give my mother and in return I always get kicked the more I do im always told I never do anything for her. now I want to know if im not wrong and ur mum still gives u badua is it fair? and to my sisters too same thing happening, I wanted to send her and my father for Hajj next year she refused saying my dad is old and in return she wants a car I accepted and behind my father refusing me to buy the car for my mother, thn his sending me nasiyat saying take care of ur mother and all on watsapp group chat thn im askin him ur the one saying dnt buy an today ur sending me this to make me look bad in front of my mother? today was eid I phoned to speak to thm my mother spoke to me and he refused to speak to me I asked why he says he felt bad on the nasiyat issue I asked wat wron have I done but still the blame me for no reason and sending me message saying that I will c in my life and from now on im dead to thm I must never show them my face.. I dnt knw where im wrong but this is not fair at all.. can you please advise me on this in islam if the child not at fault and always being cursed by the parents is it fair for the child? JAZAKAALLAH

[greenhill]

Salaam to you,

Sorry to hear your story, it is sad to read. This matter must be deep rooted and probably has a beginning way back beyond your memory span. It is most likely caused by something in your dad's past that has affected his outlook on life (I'm guessing here) which is not talked about.

The fact that he treats his children all the same way means that it has probably nothing to do with what you did. Sometimes, people say hurtful things they don't really mean. He may be upset that you left all those years ago although you have your reasons, it may not be acceptable to him, hence perhaps he is holding a grudge because of that (but he may not admit it).

We can take the messages posted in the WhatsApp as a positive sign (although negative message) that he still communicates with you... (not nice) because if he really does not care or if you are dead to him as he says, he would not even acknowledge your existence.

On your final note, life may not be fair, but Allah is fair. Just be patient and dua for your parents.


Peace :shade:

[samy2013]

Jazakallah for your advice ..