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Zecht
10-29-2013, 06:04 PM
Asalamu Alajkom dear brothers and sister.

I’m very depressed at the moment and due to the fact that I’m now 30 and still not married.
The truth is that last summer I was engaged to a woman and she was my first love.
We were engaged for about a month and we broke up when some problems accrued between my family and hers, and thinking back – I know I could have handled the situation much batter, but I let my emotions get the better of me and I said some hurtful words to her. If I could I would take them all back.

It’s been 3 month now since we broke up and I really can’t stop thinking about her, I deeply regret my actions but alas it’s over and there is no going back.
I’m still deeply in love with her.

I’m afraid that I will never again find someone like her to love and cherish.

Dear brothers and sisters please help me out.

If it’s not too much to ask, could you guys provide me with words of encouragement to keep the shaitan and his influence at bay and some Dua from the Quran and authentic hadith to ask Allah to yet again let me find a wife to spend the rest of my life with.

At this point I’m really afraid that I will leave this world all alone still lingering to the past Beating myself Up.

:jz:
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Muslim Woman
10-30-2013, 12:53 AM
:wa:

br , don't worry . In'sha Allah u will be blessed with a pious wife when it's the right time for u .
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ardianto
10-30-2013, 02:42 AM
Assalamualaikum

I've ever lived happily with my wife for almost 19 years until she returned to Allah at june 2013. I love her so much and she knew it. Yes, I love her so much although she was not my first love. And do you know bro? majority of people who I know getting married not with their first love. The true love is not the first love, but the last love.

People in my place say that life-spouse is in the hand of Allah. And i know it's true. You lost the girl you love, it's because she is not someone who destined as your life-spouse. If she's the person that destined for you, whatever happened you would marry her. This is the will of Allah.

So, you must able to accept this destiny, and must believe that Allah will give you someone as your life-spouse.

30 and still unmarried?. My brother got married when he was almost 40. Two of my close friends even after 40.

:)
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Zecht
10-30-2013, 02:17 PM
Out of regret of everything I can't sleep at night and I have a constent unease in my chest.
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Predator
10-30-2013, 05:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

30 and still unmarried?. My brother got married when he was almost 40. Two of my close friends even after 40.

:)
That isnt something to feel so proud about .such late marriages are actually bad for society .

Girls are far too picky . They expect us to have a big house, fancy car, a fat bank account but how can one expect a guy in that late 20's to have all that so soon. Girls have a princess mentality and dont want to struggle with their husband until they become financially stable. Both the girls and their families are responsible for this mess as they reject sincere,educated and hardworking because they cant give them a cushy life.
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~Zaria~
10-30-2013, 06:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Predator
That isnt something to feel so proud about .such late marriages are actually bad for society .

Girls are far too picky . They expect us to have a big house, fancy car, a fat bank account but how can one expect a guy in that late 20's to have all that so soon. Girls have a princess mentality and dont want to struggle with their husband until they become financially stable. Both the girls and their families are responsible for this mess as they reject sincere,educated and hardworking because they cant give them a cushy life.

:salam:

There are various reasons as to why some people marry late. Sometimes, even those who do not hold the above expectations, still do not find marriage until very late in life....and sometimes, they may not get the chance to marry at all.

In the same way that Allah blesses some people with health, wealth, children, etc. and not for others, so too does He deny marriage to some people.
So, we should see these delays and denials in marriage also as being a test from Allah - as we do, all other trials in life.

There are some people who have chosen to remain single, rather than spend a lifetime with someone, who does not share the same goals in deen and in life, and who may potentially be the means of them drawing further from the mercy of Allah.

Sometimes, it is better to be patient and make duaa for a spouse who has made islam their priority......than to just rush into marriage.
One just needs to speak to those who have experienced divorce in their life - very often their regret is that they did not marry for the 'right reasons' or they rushed into marriage just for the sake of settling down at a certain age.

When we marry, we all desire that it will be for life, and that we can be with that person in Jannah, in shaa Allah.
In view of this, it is important that we chose our spouses wisely, seeking Allah's guidance in the process - and if this does not come easily, despite sincere efforts and duaa, then to be patient and know that Allah tests His servants in many different ways.

And to remember that there were so many righteous slaves of Allah, who spent much of their lives in His devotion and service, and only married much later in life.
Allah has a plan for each and every person, and His plan is always the best plan.


:wa:
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ardianto
10-31-2013, 12:19 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Predator
That isnt something to feel so proud about .such late marriages are actually bad for society .
Who said they proud?

My brother wanted to get married before he reaches 30. But he got broken engagement few times before finally he could get married. My friends stories were similar, they wanted to get married in younger age but got difficulties before finally they could get married.

So, brother Zecht must not be pesimistic if he failed to get married now and still unmarried in his 30, because probably next year or in next few years he will meet someone new and get married.

Understand what I mean?
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ardianto
10-31-2013, 12:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Zecht
Out of regret of everything I can't sleep at night and I have a constent unease in my chest.
You can't sleep because you don't want to sleep. You have been pessimistic and start thinking that you will never get married. It makes you afraid to face the future, even afraid to face tomorrow. So, when the night comes, unconsciousness you command yourself to stay awake and enjoy the time that you think will become the last time before you face a tragedy.

Read again what I've written

So, brother Zecht must not be pesimistic if he failed to get married now and still unmarried in his 30, because probably next year or in next few years he will meet someone new and get married.
There's always a hope for better future. Be optimist, okay? :)
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Zecht
10-31-2013, 01:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
You can't sleep because you don't want to sleep. You have been pessimistic and start thinking that you will never get married. It makes you afraid to face the future, even afraid to face tomorrow. So, when the night comes, unconsciousness you command yourself to stay awake and enjoy the time that you think will become the last time before you face a tragedy.

Read again what I've written



There's always a hope for better future. Be optimist, okay? :)


The thing is that I'm still in love with her and it really hurts whenever I think of her and I can't stop thinking about her.

Please brother give me some dua to say daily to ease the pain, and have god bless with his mercy.

Thank you
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