HELP! Sunni-Shia relationships

[Kia]

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah

This is the main reason I joined this forum.

Firstly a little bit of background about myself. My Maternal grandparents were/are Shia, and my paternal grandfather was too. I don't think my paternal grandmother was anything to be honest. My mother however is a Bahaí. I came to Australia because of my mother and father being constantly persecuted because of their marriage. That was roughly 13/14 years ago. I myself am not practicing, per se but I do my best to and i try to give back to my community and help those around me as much as I can mostly through volunteering at a homeless shelter, giving blood and such.

I've been seeing a 19 year old girl for about 4 months now. We go on dates once or twice a week. Movies, restaurants, rock climbing, parks that kind of thing. We met through mutual friends, and started talking. Turns out she is a Sunni muslim from Malaysia and I happen to be Shia from Iran.

Sorry, I digress. Anyway, the girl I have been dating. We're fairly serious and everything is wonderful between us. We hold similar values, beliefs and ideals. Except for one small problem. Her parents, namely her mother. Now I haven't met her mother or ever spoken to her. But she hates my guts due to me being Shia. She knows absolutely nothing about me and is already convinced that I want nothing more than sex from her daughter (which might I add, we haven't had) and am evil. She refuses to believe anything she's told. She knows her daughter is seeing me but refuses to grant her approval. Now what bugs me the most is, her eldest daughter is set to marry a sunni boy who has in the last 4 months cheated on her, emotionally abused her and flirts with every other girl he meets but she is fine with it.

My question to you guys is, what do I do? Im stuck and I really like this girl to the point I can see myself creating a life with her. Im sure we want the same thing out of the relationship because we've discussed it.

Thanks in advance guys/

[Kia]

bump??

[YusufNoor]

well, shii'ism is NOT Islam. and sunni really means NOT shii'a.

learn Islam. watch all 21 parts of this to start:



don't worry about the brother being a jerk and you not being one. continue to be a great guy and learn about Islam. it puts you on the straight path, which is the most important thing. secondly, it should help with the mom, in shaa Allah.

May Allah make it easy on you!

ma salaama

[Kia]

well, shii'ism is NOT Islam. and sunni really means NOT shii'a.

Thank you very much for the video(s)

but that is terribly offensive. Im sure if a Shia person said that Sunni's aren't really Muslim, you would be terribly offended too right?

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[Kia]

Truth is offensive? When you tell a lemon it isn't an orange that's offensive?
At any rate Br. Yusuf offered you the best reply and you probably have your mind set anyway which makes this thread futile!
Offense should be the least if our concerns when discussing aqeedah!

:w:

Despite the fact that I do my best to follow all five precepts, view imams as normal human beings and not godlike or holy descendants (on that note the supreme leader is a tyrant :S) have never disrespected in any way or form the first 3 caliphs (Roheshan shad) and don't believe in Ashura or Sighe (temporary marriage)? Not all Shia's are brought up the same. I apologize if I seem aggressive, but I feel as though Im being judged again, without anyone so much as even asking my beliefs and if Im being dead honest, it's quiet hurtful.

Can we get back to the main topic please?

[جوري]

We have collectively addressed your main topic the rest is up to you
No one is judging you I don't see how anyone can judge an SN furthermore I am replying through my phone and can't even see an SN to judge.
It doesn't matter how Shias are raised on little or lot of deviance the prophet pbuh already defined for us the path in Quran and sunnah and the Quran tells us إن الذين فرقوا دينهم وكانوا شيعا لست منهم في شيء إنما أمرهم إلى الله ثم ينبئهم بما كانو ا يفعلون

[YusufNoor]

Despite the fact that I do my best to follow all five precepts, view imams as normal human beings and not godlike or holy descendants (on that note the supreme leader is a tyrant :S) have never disrespected in any way or form the first 3 caliphs (Roheshan shad) and don't believe in Ashura or Sighe (temporary marriage)? Not all Shia's are brought up the same. I apologize if I seem aggressive, but I feel as though Im being judged again, without anyone so much as even asking my beliefs and if Im being dead honest, it's quiet hurtful.

Can we get back to the main topic please?

:sl:

no offense meant, my kind brother. i apologize if you take it that way.

any time we "add" to the title Muslim, we stray. you actually reject a lot of the jahilyah is shii'ism, ma shaa Allah.

let's do away with "isms" and "titles". of course you will find jahilyah amongst even "sunni" Muslims, as well as great sincerity amongst those who may consider themselves "shii'a".

irregardless, there is only one straight path. it is a joy to discover and pursue. i invite to pursue it.

the Prophet, pbuh, came to perfect good manners, enjoin good and forbid evil. you appear to be quite a ways down that path already! alhamdulillah!

please take no offense and continue to be a great human being!

ma salaama

[ardianto]

Assalamualaikum

I've ever lived happily with my beloved wife for almost 19 years until she returned to Allah after long struggle against breast cancer. I love her so much although she was not my first love.

There was another girl before who became my first love, but I could not marry her due to many obstacles that came from her family and my family. I tried to not give up in my struggle to marry her. But when finally she decided to not marry me because those obstacles, I could accept it as taqdir (destiny) from Allah.

Young bro, if you ask me the way to make you be accepted by her mother, so my honest advice is convert to Sunni. But since I respect other people belief, I do not urge you to do this. I just want to say that if finally you must lose your girl due to problem in your relationship, you should be able to accept it as taqdir from Allah. It's mean Allah want you to marry another girl.

[Kia]

Thanks guys. Someone PM'd me as well but I am unable to reply due to still being a limited member. I really appreciate your help and I've decided to take your advice. Thank you again. :)

[Ahmad H]

I've been seeing a 19 year old girl for about 4 months now. We go on dates once or twice a week. Movies, restaurants, rock climbing, parks that kind of thing. We met through mutual friends, and started talking. Turns out she is a Sunni muslim from Malaysia and I happen to be Shia from Iran.

My sincere advise to you is to stop dating her or anyone else in the future, brother. Dating is Haram, and there is no ifs and or buts about it. No dating. Either get her guardians to approve of a marriage as well as yours, or if you can't get the approval or guardians, then break this off. Marriage without guardians is considered Zina (fornication, adultery).

Talk to the girl's parents, and try to win them over. Speak to them, and explain to them your beliefs. If they are fine with you, and they see nothing wrong with you, then they should let their daughter marry you since she likes you. Do that as soon as possible, because you are incurring a great heap of sin by being in contact with a non-Mahram girl. In Islam, you're supposed to be as distant as possible from non-Mahram women, they are only to be spoken to when you have business dealings with them, for religious matters, or anything else which makes meeting them absolutely necessary. Otherwise, intermediaries are better. When you two are together, then Shaitan is the third companion.

I stress again, dating is Haram. Don't do it. Win the pleasure of Allah and keep distant from her until you have gained the approval of her parents for marriage. Fight for her by discussing this with them if you are that serious.

And pray to Allah fervently, since Allah helps a man to get married in order to protect his chastity. So you will certainly be helped by Allah if you do this for His sake, and if you start approaching this differently and directly.