PDA

View Full Version : I need help in english please



Ihsen
11-14-2013, 04:37 PM
Salam alaykoum !

I'm french, and I have an interview in France but where english is required. Can you help me to correct or improve the description of my CV (resume) please?

This is my CV description:
I'll introduce myself chronologically. I worked as a support technician during about 7 years, then I resumed my studies in telecom engineering where I achieve the third and fourth years of school in one year, and then I integrated the CNAM school engineer. I will graduate next year thanks to a validation of experience. After that, I worked for Orange where I was in the IP production team. I had to activate the data and the TOIP for business customers : I had to configure the routers, the Centrex for the ToIP, ask the service technician to perform ground connections, then we had to test the network connection and TOIP, if the tests were ok, I was in charge to send a report to the project manager.

then I worked for SFR in the IP production service. I worked on three projects: I had to monitor the implementation of GBICs inserted into the backbone routers, update the IOS routers backbone and finally test the flow of new customers.
Afterward, I worked at Bouygues construction where I was part of the infrastructure deployment team. I had to configure HP and H3C switches for building sites as needed, ie I had to create multiple VLANs in the configuration switches if necessary.
I worked again with SFR in the DCN network support team. I had to solve problems on the DCN network. I connected to Cisco and Redback routers and Nortel switches.
Then I worked in a level 2 support team for Completel provider; I had to solve problems of business customers on xDSL and fiber optic network. I had to lead technicians interventions when needed.*
Finally I worked at Darty, where I was part of the telecoms networks team. I had two functions: a technical function where I had to troubleshoot the level 2 and 3 problems network that could meet different site group. I connected to Cisco switches and routers. I also had a project function where I had to lead the development of new network connection for new sites.

Can somebody help me PLEASE ? It's urgent. The interview is tomorrow at 2 pm incha Allah.

Jazakoum Allahou kheir.
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Muslim Woman
11-14-2013, 04:42 PM
:wa:


pl. check sample cv






http://jobsearch.about.com/library/c...cvacademic.htm
Reply

Muslim Woman
11-14-2013, 04:43 PM
:sl:





Sample Curriculum Vitae - Academic
John Smith
Street, City, State, Zip
Phone: 555-555-5555
Cell: 555-666-6666
email@email.com
Objective:

Assistant Professor, Psychology

Education:

Ph.D., Psychology, University of Minnesota, 2006
Concentrations: Psychology, Community Psychology
Dissertation: A Study of Learning Disabled Children in a Low Income Community
M.A., Psychology, University at Albany, 2003
Concentrations: Psychology, Special Education
Thesis: Communication Skills of Learning Disabled Children

B.A, Psychology, California State University, Long Beach, CA, 2000
Experience:

Instructor, 2004 - 2006
University of Minnesota
Course: Psychology in the Classroom

Teaching Assistant, 2002 - 2003
University at Albany
Courses: Special Education, Learning Disabilities
Research Skills:

Extensive knowledge of SPSSX and SAS statistical programs.

Presentations:

Smith John (2006). The behavior of learning disabled adolescents in the classrooms. Paper presented at the Psychology Conference at the University of Minnesota.
Publications:

Smith, John (2005). The behavior of learning disabled adolescents in the classroom. Journal of Educational Psychology, 120 - 125.
Grants and Fellowships:

  • RDB Grant (University of Minnesota Research Grant, 2005), $2000
  • Workshop Grant (for ASPA meeting in New York, 2004), $1500

Awards and Honors:

  • Treldar Scholar, 2005
  • Academic Excellent Award, 2003

Skills and Qualifications:

  • Microsoft Office, Internet
  • Programming ability in C++ and PHP
  • Fluent in German, French and Spanish
Reply

Ihsen
11-14-2013, 04:47 PM
Jazak Allahou kheir Muslim woman.

I don't want to write my CV in english; my CV is in french at the company but i want to describe my CV in english when le company interview me.

I want only to correct the blue text please.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Alpha Dude
11-14-2013, 08:07 PM
Wa alaykum salam,

Brother, the blue description doesn't seem like a CV more like a description of your job history you'd say to someone verbally. I'm no expert at all when it comes to it but I think you should write it more in a list format rather than description and start with most recent role first and education last.

For each company you worked for have an intro bit which says: i. the company name (e.g. Darty), ii. your job title there (e.g. Network engineer), iii. the location (e.g. Paris) and iv. the dates you worked there (e.g. June 2012 - present).

Then have a brief bullet point list that describes in a nutshell all that you did at that company. In the first bullet point give a brief summary of your role and make it bold to make it stand out from the rest and in the next few bullet points describe specific projects and duties.

If you do that for all your job roles, your CV would appear more methodical and employers would be able to gain information at a glance.

So to start off, something like:

Darty
Network Engineer
Paris
June 2012 - present

- Part of the telecoms networks team. I had two main functions in this role:
- a technical function where I had to troubleshoot the level 2 and 3 problems network that could meet different site group. I connected to Cisco switches and routers.
- a project function where I had to lead the development of new network connection for new sites.

Completel
Network Support
Paris
May 2011-June 2012

- Had to solve problems of business customers on xDSL and fiber optic network. I had to lead technicians interventions when needed.

... and so on.
Reply

Alpha Dude
11-14-2013, 08:08 PM
Hang on, sorry I think I've misunderstood. You are trying to come up with a way to describe your CV in English, i.e. how you would say it to the people interviewing you in person. Is that correct?
Reply

Ihsen
11-14-2013, 09:46 PM
Yes it's exact. That's why I said that I want to correct the blue text... :)
Reply

Independent
11-14-2013, 10:42 PM
Originally Posted by Ihsen
Yes it's exact. That's why I said that I want to correct the blue text..
I've marked up changes in bold - including punctuation. In three places I can't correct because I'm not sure what you mean:

I'll introduce myself chronologically. I worked as a support technician for about 7 years. Then I resumed my studies in telecom engineering where I completed my third and fourth years of study in a single year. Then I integrated the CNAM school engineer (doesn’t make sense - not sure what you mean by ‘integrate’ here). I will graduate next year thanks to a validation of experience (doesn’t make sense - not sure what you mean by ‘validate’ here). After that I worked for Orange where I was in the IP production team. I had to activate (not sure if ‘activate’ is the right word here) the data and the ToIP for business customers. I had to configure the routers, the Centrex for the ToIP and ask the service technician to perform ground connections. Then we had to test the network connection and TOIP. If the tests were ok, it was my responsibility to send a report to the project manager.

Then I worked for SFR in the IP production service. I worked on three projects: I had to monitor the implementation of GBICs inserted into the backbone routers, update the IOS routers’ backbone and finally check the flow of new customers.

Afterward, I worked at Bouygues construction where I was part of the infrastructure deployment team. I had to configure HP and H3C switches for building sites as needed, which meant I had to create multiple VLANs in the configuration switches if necessary.

I worked again with SFR in the DCN network support team. I had to solve problems on the DCN network. I connected to Cisco and Redback routers and Nortel switches.

Then I worked in a level 2 support team for Completel provider. I had to solve problems of business customers on xDSL and the fiberoptic network. I had to lead technicians’ interventions when needed.*

Finally I worked at Darty, where I was part of the telecoms networks team. I had two functions: a technical function where I had to troubleshoot the level 2 and 3 problems network that could meet different site group (doesn’t make sense). I connected to Cisco switches and routers. I also had a project function where I had to lead the development of new network connections for new sites.
Reply

Ihsen
11-15-2013, 07:32 AM
Jazak Allahou kheir brother for your answer :)

There is no problem about the sentences that you didn't know what I wanted to say. I asked in an other forum.
Reply

Muslim Woman
11-15-2013, 07:58 AM
:sl:


try to say short and easy sentences. Let us know how it went. May Allah grants what is best for u br.
Reply

Ihsen
11-15-2013, 04:58 PM
:sl:

The interview went well. On English, he just asked me to describe my last experience, I did it easily alhamdoulilah. I have a response to earlier Tuesday insha'Allah.
I will say you the answer incha Allah :)
Reply

Ihsen
11-21-2013, 11:00 PM
:sl:

Alhamdoulilah I got the position :) I often come here in order to improve my English and think traveling two days in UK , maybe the next week incha Allah :inshallah

Thank you all brothers and sisters who had help me. Jazakum Allahu kheir!


I didn't find the good sentence about what I said : "I had to troubleshoot the level 2 and 3 problems network that could meet different site group(doesn’t make sense)"

Do you say me how to say correctly please ? I you understand what I want to say, perhaps we can replace "that could meet different site group" by "that any site group can to have". But I think we can write better than that.

Jazakoum Allahou kheir

-------
Feel free to correct any mistakes in my sentences, or to say me a better turn of sentence, I'm here to improve my English ...
Reply

Abz2000
11-22-2013, 05:24 AM
Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,Glad to hear u got it :)
"I had to troubleshoot the level 2 and 3 problems network that could meet different site group
Maybe could've used: "I had to troubleshoot the level 2 and 3 network problems that the site group/on site team would encounter".Peace,
Reply

Ihsen
11-22-2013, 08:32 PM
Originally Posted by Abz2000
Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,Glad to hear u got it :)Maybe could've used: "I had to troubleshoot the level 2 and 3 network problems that the site group/on site team would encounter".Peace,
Ok Jazak ALlahou kheir Abz2000 for your answer :)
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!