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gktssm
11-19-2013, 11:00 PM
Dear brothers in islam, today i am writing with my broken heart. I would like to share a question regarding hazrat Aisha ra marriage with prophet Muhammad pbuh. I know her age and i have no doubt with it. My wife recently reverted to islam. She is a good muslim, she pray, give charity, zakat, every good thing she does. But regarding marriage to aisha she think was wrong. My question is how serious this thing is? I mean to say prophet Muhammad pbuh knew that best and if it was wrong he would say no that time. I tell her dont say this but i think from inside she think was wrong.
My simple question is can some one still be a muslim after saying this? imsadimsad
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Muhammad
11-20-2013, 01:11 AM
:salamext:

It is not for us to say whether she is a Muslim or not. As she recently reverted, maybe she just needs a little time because too much at once can be difficult. Gently remind her about Islamic teachings and you can also mention a number of things about this specific topic to dispel any doubts. See this post for more details:

http://www.islamicboard.com/clarific...ml#post1542401

May Allaah :swt: guide her and keep her steadfast, Aameen.
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جوري
11-20-2013, 01:24 AM
what did she convert from? she should check her bible for what the age of consent and marriage was of most biblical prophets and characters!
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Muslim Woman
11-20-2013, 07:06 AM
:sl:


Prophet David pbuh married a young virgin when he was at his death bed . Mother Mary ra got married when she was 13/14 yrs old. Young marriage was a common tradition / still is a tradition in many countries . Don't judge a marriage that took place more than a thousand years ago by the standard of today's so called modern era .


Now society will allow a 9 yrs old to have boyfriend , get pregnant , kill the baby in abortion clinic ; but they have problem with a legal marriage where both partners were happy .

I think we have many important things to do than making negative comment about a blessed couple . May Allah guide us.
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Signor
11-20-2013, 02:43 PM
:wa:

format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
Prophet David pbuh married a young virgin when he was at his death bed .
okay,I got this reference coming from Bible,Chapter of Kings But

format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
Mother Mary ra got married when she was 13/14 yrs old.
^^This was a shocker,are you talking about Maryam(A.S),Mother of Isa Ibn Maryam(A.S) of whom Quran Spoke

How can I have a son, when no man has ever touched me, nor am I a woman of loose morals? [19:20].

or someone else?^o)
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Muslim Woman
11-20-2013, 04:55 PM
:sl:


format_quote Originally Posted by Signor
:wa:



........^This was a shocker,are you talking about Maryam(A.S),Mother of Isa Ibn Maryam(A.S) of whom Quran Spoke

How can I have a son, when no man has ever touched me, nor am I a woman of loose morals? [19:20].

or someone else?^o)

br , u misunderstood me . Read post 3 . I gave references from
Bible assuming that our newly converted sis came from Christian faith and she must be familiar with the old tradition and references of her past holy book.

It's not a sin to get married at the age of 14 . Not a single holy book of the major religions say so. So , followers of any main religions can't condemn young marriage of Aisha ra .
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Signor
11-20-2013, 06:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
br , u misunderstood me . Read post 3 . I gave references from
Bible assuming that our newly converted sis came from Christian faith and she must be familiar with the old tradition and references of her past holy book.
No matter where it came from,It is full of blasphemy(according to Islam) and shouldn't been given as an example to a Muslim.

Perhaps this video would be helpful made by Br Scimitar

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Ahmad H
11-20-2013, 11:31 PM
Wassalaam,

You shouldn't doubt the sincerity of your wife's being a Muslim. She probably doesn't understand this issue very well. Fact is, I didn't understand it either until I learned about the way marriage works in Islam and what is considered adulthood.

The child, boy or girl, in Islam, is considered to have reach puberty based on certain signs, such as pubic hair, a girl's first menstruation, their reaching the age of 15, etc. That is when a child becomes an adult. Thus, a child who reaches the age of 15, or who has obvious signs of reaching puberty (as scholars explain in good detail), then they are considered an adult.

A girl can be married off before they reach puberty, but their marriage is not consummated until they reach adulthood. The age at which a child, let's consider girls specifically, could be from anywhere from the age of 15, to as early as 8 years of age. Taking this lower limit into consideration, Hazrat Bibi Ayesha (ra), was 9 years old, according to many different Ahadith, when she was taken from her house, and brought to the house of the Holy Prophet (saw) to complete the marriage by consummating it. She was seen to have signs of puberty, such as her being somewhat sick, her hair falling out, etc. Many Ahadith say she was breathing heavily, which might have something to do with this. Maybe someone who understand female puberty could better explain this.

Besides this, I have seen arguments where she is considered to have been as old as 12 years of age, based upon what other Ahadith say. I don't know if this is in solar years or lunar years, if lunar, then she could even have been 11.

The point is that young girls, prepubescent, cannot consummate their marriage, but they can be married. When such girls, prepubescent, are married to men, their parents can do this for them without their consent. But when those girls come of age and reach puberty, they have the choice to either accept that marriage or reject it. Thus, Hazrat Bibi Ayesha (ra), according to Islamic law, did have a choice. But we all know how righteous she was at a very early age, and that Allah had created her as a holy and pious woman, the Mother of the Believers. Thus, she definitely agreed to her marriage to the Holy Prophet (saw), and there are so many indications of how much love she had for the Holy Prophet (saw), and how much love he (saw) had for her in return.

The other thing to note, is that early societies had different conceptions about adulthood. Adulthood for Western people is the age of 18 years for people, but this is their own fabrication. The Holy Prophet (saw), the Prophet and Messenger from Allah, had it revealed to him what it means for a human to be an adult. Thus, we take our knowledge of a child's turning into an adult from Allah's Laws, and not the man-made laws about the age of consent and adulthood. A Muslim doesn't rely on man-made laws, but they obey the laws of Allah when man-made laws contradict His Laws. This is because when disbelievers are in rule, and they make a law against the laws of Islam, then we Muslims have full right to disobey that law and not be held accountable for it from Allah. The disbelievers can do whatever they want to us in that case.

Back to the point, adulthood is clearly described by scholars. I am not aware if there are disagreements on this, but check up on the Fatwas or the books on Fiqh which explain adulthood. This is the real issue, but I think from what I have stated, you should be able to explain your wife's misconceptions. If she is a Muslim, and she has full faith in Allah, then she has to accept Allah's Laws about who is and who is not considered an adult. Also, she will have to accept that girls get to choose and consent to a marriage when they become adults.
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tigerkhan
11-21-2013, 01:33 AM
:sl:
i want to share with u ppl and interesting story regarding that issue.
once we went to a very remote area of Pakistan "panjgoor" for dawa purpose. its 12 hours drive from Quetta (capital of Baluchistan) toward Iran Border and Iran in just 3 hours drive from that city. it was amazing experience to spend a month there and i I learn so much and few of these things i wana share. The city had just got electricity 2-3 years back and the line came from Iran. All houses were made up of mud except the masjids which were build by Saudi govt with cement walls and roof. The life was so simple. The history of city is very interesting too. The foundation stone of city was led by 5 sahaba RA who came to that area through Iran and they died there and bcz of their graves the city was name pangjoor (which in local language mean 5 graves). Anyway the city was totally like we heard about Madina in childhood from parents and books, date garden, desert and houses of mud, simplicity, hospitality...
Now the point for OP, in that place the common age for marriage for boy is 15-17 and for girl is 12-14. They grew up too fast as compared to other area of Pakistan and mainly cz of their environment and food. The process is so simple and i love it. When a guy reach 15 then his father arrange his marriage and its so simple process with not too much formalities. The land has no price so he just fix some area and make a mud boundary wall and in its centre they made a small 2-3 rooms house with pillar of stem of date tree and the mud and leaves are used for roof and walls. 2-3 marriage for a guy is common and many of them have 4 wives too..lol. so seeing this give me insight how was atmosphere in time of prophet SAW and why was marriage so easy and in young age. So i think a person who is grown up in west can never understand this until he/she try to see that in the picture of that time. it was very common is that time and thats y no one object or point out that issue at time of prophet PBUH though they put too many false accusation on prophet PBUH. Just try to make her understand out understanding and knowledge is not absolute and it limited. Many time our observation, judgement come out to be false so we should not think our option in any matter as absolute truth. Don’t be harsh on her as she has excuse for her wrong understanding, make dua for her and i think she will understand this with time.
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Futuwwa
11-24-2013, 12:45 AM
The actual issue aside, holding the belief that the Prophet made errors of judgment does not constitute kufr.
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YusufNoor
11-24-2013, 04:16 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by gktssm
Dear brothers in islam, today i am writing with my broken heart. I would like to share a question regarding hazrat Aisha ra marriage with prophet Muhammad pbuh. I know her age and i have no doubt with it. My wife recently reverted to islam. She is a good muslim, she pray, give charity, zakat, every good thing she does. But regarding marriage to aisha she think was wrong. My question is how serious this thing is? I mean to say prophet Muhammad pbuh knew that best and if it was wrong he would say no that time. I tell her dont say this but i think from inside she think was wrong.
My simple question is can some one still be a muslim after saying this? imsadimsad
isn't your question similar to "can one still be a Muslim after not explaining Aisha's marriage properly?"

we don't need to "know about your wife". if your wife doesn't understand something, pray on it and seek better explanations. our sins, my sins, anyone else's sins need not be brought to light.

ma salaama
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