format_quote Originally Posted by
Skorpio
I feel I haven't lived upto his expectations.
You feel your husband has expectation like this, while you have expectation like that. So you feel there is no harmony in thought between you and your husband.
Sis, how long you have been married?. Just two years, isn't it?. It's normal you haven't had a harmony in thought with your husband.
I meet my wife in classroom in grade 12 in high school. Immediately we were close with each other, and still close after we graduate from high school. No, she was not my girlfriend. We were just friend but very close, I understood her, she understood me.
One day I meet another girl, and she became the first girl who I wanted to marry. It made my ex-classmate so jealous, and made me realize that she had been fell in love to me since in high school.
So, later when the first girl who I wanted to marry decide to leave me because my mother did not approve her to become my wife, I thought "why not my ex-classmate?". So, I married my ex-classmate.
And I began to feel something different. If when we were just friend we understood each other, after getting married we started to being selfish. If when we just friend we were thinking "what I can give for her/him?", after getting married we were thinking "what she/he must give for me?".
Frankly, my closeness with my wife in high school happened because my empathy. I was from middle class family while she was from poor family. Often enough I bought something for her, even I paid her study cost in one year computer course. I paid all of these really sincerely.
But after getting married?. Blatantly she told me "as my husband you have duty to fulfill my needs, and I need this, this, this, etc". It made me annoyed, I thought "doesn't she understand that making money it's not easy".
But later I started to familiar with it. Even I felt happy when I saw my wife smile at me when she saw something in a shop. I understood what's in her mind, and I felt happy when I could give what she want.
Need time before we could understand each other in our new position as husband and wife.
So, sister, actually now you and your husband are in adaptation process. Need time before you and your husband can understand each other and build a harmony in your married life.