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Bintulislam
12-27-2013, 01:08 PM
Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters,

I need to know, how can we stop committing gheebat/backbiting? Also, what are the polite ways that you've discovered or come up with, in order to avoid being part of such discussions. As, sometimes, the one committing the sin is an elder whom you cannot stop or the person has actually been wronged, is quite hurt, and you feel that this person needs to vent. But during the process of being supportive your heart is also poisoned for the person who is being discussed hence you start on them too.

In a nut shell, how should we avoid gheebat on a personal as well as family level?
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ardianto
12-27-2013, 03:46 PM
Wa'alaikumsalam.

Few days ago someone talked to me about his annoyance to someone else who I know personally too. He started backbiting about that man, but I just listen and didn't make any comment. I let him talk until he feel satisfied. Realized that I was not interested to what he said, finally he stopped talking. And then I started talking about new topic which not related to anyone.

That's my way to avoid being involved in backbiting. I let someone talk alone until he/she stop. Then I start new talks about other topics such as football, cars, traffic jam, etc, and try to dominate the talks to prevent him/her commit backbiting again.

I was born and grew up in environment which very concerned with manners and etiquette. Since I was kid I have been taught about how important to be respectable person. And backbiting is something that I must avoid because this is not behavior of respectable person.

If we realize about the importance of manners and etiquette, if we have big respect to ourselves and other people, In Shaa Allah, we would not involved in backbiting.
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Hamza Asadullah
12-30-2013, 03:35 AM
Originally Posted by Bintulislam
Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters,

I need to know, how can we stop committing gheebat/backbiting? Also, what are the polite ways that you've discovered or come up with, in order to avoid being part of such discussions. As, sometimes, the one committing the sin is an elder whom you cannot stop or the person has actually been wronged, is quite hurt, and you feel that this person needs to vent. But during the process of being supportive your heart is also poisoned for the person who is being discussed hence you start on them too.

In a nut shell, how should we avoid gheebat on a personal as well as family level?
:sl:

One good method is to make excuses for the person. For example if it is said "They did this or that or they are like this or that" then make excuses for them by saying it is probably because of this or that. Give the person benefit of the doubt. Defending someone who is being backbitten or slandered is immense reward. If we do not want to defend them then we should stay quite and imagine Allah watching us. Therefore if we know we are being watched and everything we say being recorded then we should either be careful of what we say or not say anything at all. This is more difficult to implement but it is better not to say anything at all than to say a bad word.

The best method of all is to think" Is what I am going to say or do going to benefit me or someone else"?. If not then refrain from it. This is something we must keep practising. Even a reminder on our phones or hung up on our wall every time we wake up or are in our rooms etc. will help
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