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Samiun
12-31-2013, 11:18 AM


:sl: Hey guys lets discuss about this vid. I want to add that even if you did held your anger, wouldn't that create a possible hatred in your heart if you don't let out your feelings right away? His advice is really good but from experience it differs with people.. what are your thoughts and how do you deal with that?
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greenhill
12-31-2013, 12:24 PM
Interesting!

According to the talk, I am arrogant in a lot of cases (especially behind the wheel :raging:). Sometimes I am patient. I used t be a lot worst! I guess age makes me a bit more mellow and being wiser with age also allows me to assess whether it is worthwhile to 'stick up for my rights' kind of thing. Like you will never win an argument with an idiot. But sometimes you just have to put your point across and leave it.

I particularly like the bit about Allah softening the heart (towards the end of the vid). Yup! Agreed and will keep that in mind.

Peace :shade:
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Samiun
12-31-2013, 04:50 PM
On the road!? haha! I guess I would be the same when you come across drivers in KL especially motorcycles who dare to cut the road line illegally.

whether it is worthwhile to 'stick up for my rights' kind of thing. Like you will never win an argument with an idiot. But sometimes you just have to put your point across and leave it.
Exactly my understanding. But Nouman Ali Khan advised not to say anything when you're mad, I know people who store their feelings inside of themselves after getting angry at a person even if they say nothing
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greenhill
12-31-2013, 06:14 PM
Yes on the road. In a way it os good, I let out the steam :D. But mostly I ride. Keeps me cooler although it can get pretty hot! :hmm:

There is wisdom in not saying anything when we are mad, and even more so when you are very, very mad! So how to avoid doing so? Walk away when the temper starts to rise.

Peace :shade:
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BeTheChange
12-31-2013, 06:57 PM
Sometimes i love speaking and being around people - other times i hate it.

Depending on which type of people you are around.

Dealing with different mentalities and wavelengths requires skill and patience.

It's amazing how different we all are and how we all deal and approach problems in different ways.

I wish i had no emotions. Emotions control my life. Really hard to control your emotions.
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BeTheChange
12-31-2013, 07:03 PM
Listening to the lecture the Sheikh mentions to be good and extra nice to your family. He gives an example of Allah swa commanding Musa A.S to be good to Pharaoh (even though he attempted to try and remove him from earth in his childhood and killed many babies).


I think it's easier to treat family members bad because you know that bond of love and connection is strong so they will always forgive you. I do take advantage of this. I must admit.

Am much nicer and friendlier to 'outside' people than i am with family (in some ways). I need to work on this. Need to bite my lip as i do get angry.
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ardianto
01-01-2014, 03:27 PM
Originally Posted by strivingforgood
Dealing with different mentalities and wavelengths requires skill and patience........
...... and profesionalism.

You will know it after you are in business, dealing with people and handle customer complains.
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greenhill
01-01-2014, 03:53 PM
Yes Ardianto, that too! :exhausted
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Eric H
01-01-2014, 04:29 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Samiun;

A quote repeated throughout the video, 'he made me angry'

Who should be in control of my anger, me or him?

It is my anger, so I should be in control, and the prophet, pbuh, said, the stronger person, is the one who controls his anger, job done, no more to say. Apart from; just don't cut me up when I'm driving:D

In the spirit of striving to live in peace with my neighbours,

Eric
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Eric H
01-01-2014, 08:50 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Samiun;

I am a Catholic; and found this Islamic video very helpful to understand anger. It tries to explain the differences between the things people find important in this life; and the important things for an after life. Click out of the advert and there is a short Arabic introduction, the rest is in English.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTWn8...layer_embedded
Controlling Anger - Nouman Ali Khan - Quran Weekly

In the spirit of striving to live in peace with my neighbours

Eric
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Samiun
01-02-2014, 09:42 AM
Walk away when the temper starts to rise.
I get what you mean, but one does not simply walk away from anger :P. They say that you should let off steam in a productive way, but sometimes you store the pain in the heart and struggle to be okay with it.

Who should be in control of my anger, me or him?
Yes I understand it is us who should be in control of our anger. However, some people tend to have a scar on their heart once a person made them angry. Although in reality they seem okay with them, but inside their heart their trying to forgive them as hard as they could but the pain just keep stabbing them in the heart if they remembered what he/she has done it.

Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan mentioned about don't get worked up, but what should we do if they crossed the boundary and step on our dignity? I'm trying to find the fine line between standing up for something and getting angry at a person which the Ustadh didn't talk about or rather, had less time in that lecture
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greenhill
01-02-2014, 10:08 AM
Originally Posted by Samiun
but inside their heart their trying to forgive them as hard as they could but the pain just keep stabbing them in the heart if they remembered what he/she has done it.
Very hard indeed. But the key is in what you have said, "if they remembered.." so, do not think too much about it. Better, don't think about it at all! When the mind goes there, quickly change the thought to something else. Not easy. I find that I can work up anger easily if I chose to do so but it brings nothing but pain in the chest.

Peace :shade:
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