:salam:
format_quote Originally Posted by
Predator
Why did Prophet refuse divorce in case of Zayd but allow it in the case of Khansa.
You are comparing two dissimilar situations.
Sister Snowflake has already mentioned about Zaid and Zaynab (may Allah be pleased with them both), but I'll mention again. As a summary, the Prophet :saws: himself had arranged the marriage of Zayd (his freed slave and adopted son) and Zaynab (may Allah be pleased with them both). He knew there was going to be a revelation coming in which Allah would give him Zaynab :ra: in marriage, but still told Zaid :ra: to stay married to her once he was told of their marital difficulties, as the criticism from society for marrying the ex-wife of one's adopted son (that time regarded as real son) would be huge. This is why Allah said, "You feared people when Allah had more right to be feared."
And [remember, O Muhammad], when you said to the one on whom Allah bestowed favor and you bestowed favor, "Keep your wife and fear Allah ," while you concealed within yourself that which Allah is to disclose. And you feared the people, while Allah has more right that you fear Him. So when Zayd had performed the necessary formality from her, We married her to you in order that there not be upon the believers any discomfort concerning the wives of their adopted sons when they no longer have desire to keep them. And ever is the command of Allah accomplished. (33:37)
See here for further details and tafseers of the verse:
http://islamqa.info/en/96464
A couple of quotes from it:
The reason for revelation of these verses was that Allaah wanted to a prescribe a law for all believers, that adopted sons did not come under the same rulings as real sons, in any way, and that there was nothing wrong with those who had adopted them marrying their wives (after divorce).
This was one of the regular customs which could not be changed except by means of a major incident. So Allaah wanted this law to be introduced by the words and actions of His Messenger. When Allaah wills something, He creates a cause for it.
Allaah told His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that Zayd was going to divorce Zaynab, and that He would give her to him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in marriage, and at that time she was still married to Zayd. When Zayd complained to him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) he said to him: “Keep your wife and fear Allaah.” Allaah rebuked him for saying “Keep your wife” after he knew that she was to become his own wife, for fear that if he disclosed what he knew about her becoming his wife, the people would say that he wanted to marry his son’s wife at the time when she was still married to Zayd.
It is as if Zayd hinted that he wanted to divorce her, but the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told him to keep her and be patient with her, even though he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) knew from the revelation of Allaah that he would divorce her and she would become his wife. But he was afraid that the people would criticize him for marrying his son’s wife, as that was forbidden during the Jaahiliyyah.
and Allaah knows best – you hid in yourself that which Allaah had told you, that Zayd would divorce his wife Zaynab and you would marry her, in obedience to Allaah’s command, and in fulfilment of His wisdom, but you feared the people’s comments and criticism of you for that, but Allaah is more deserving that you should fear Him and announce what He has revealed to you about your situation and that of Zayd and his wife Zaynab, without worrying about what the people will say or how they will criticize you.
format_quote Originally Posted by
Predator
So .If I understand correctly Men can be oppressed and forced to continue marriage against their choice if they are unhappy. But women should continue marriage if they are unhappy.
Akhi, this has been explained to you a few times before now. I'll give you the links again:
http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...ml#post1460112
http://www.islamicboard.com/family-s...ml#post1479008
format_quote Originally Posted by
Predator
I thought both men and women enjoy equal rights and that they are no double standards.
You are correct that there are no double standards, but we do not have a thing called equal rights, but equitable rights. Each is given rights and responsibilities, according to ones make up, capacity, role in life etc.
In any case, let this thread be for the OP to get the advice she needs.
Walk away from this sister. Once they are married and the love and mercy develops between them, regardless of what he's saying now, you may find yourself waiting forever for him.
Regarding your earlier thread, sometimes people do see dreams, but the purpose of istikhara, when you say the du'a, you're saying, "O Allah if this is good for me make it easy for me" not "O Allah if this is good for me, show me a dream". And if it is good for you, the path will be made easy for you. But as you can see, from the start, there have been obstacles, which are still continuing. This seems to indicate that this is not good for you. Trust in Allah's wisdom. Accept that this is not meant to be. May Allah grant you a pious, loving husband, ameen.
May Allah rectify the affairs of us all, ameen.
And Allah knows best.