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View Full Version : Letting Go...

01-04-2014, 06:40 PM

I am sure that we have all been faced, at some point in our lives, the prospect of having to let go of someone (or something) that is very beloved and dear to us.

It is understandable that love and emotional attachment makes the process of 'letting go' very difficult - even for those with the highest levels of imaan.

We KNOW that this life is temporary.
We KNOW that we belong to Allah, and to Him is our return.
We KNOW that oneday, we too will be following the same path of return.

Yet, how strong is our need to keep fighting.....to hold on to every breathe.....until the very end.

When there are no emotional attachments involved, how easy it is to rationally decide that further management of a persons terminal condition is futile - esp. if there is no hope of cure and no quality of life.

Throw in some emotions - and how difficult if becomes to make the very same call.

Sometimes, we may end up treating our own need to keep a person with us, rather than doing what is best for the person.

I think back on the passing of Nelson Mandela - truly it was deep emotional attachment that resulted in the struggle to try to preserve his life at all costs.....even when the futility of care was apparent.

And now, even closer to home, I think about our family cat (age 20 years and in kidney failure) who has been re-admitted to our animal hospital.

We Know that her condition is irreversible.
We Know that she is reaching the end of her life.

So, why are we still putting up intravenous lines for her?....imsad

Truly, how difficult it is to let go.....even when you know that letting go is inevitable....

The human need to try to 'wrestle' the angel of death when we suspect his approach....to try to 'extend' our stay in this temporary abode (even though we know this is not possible, but still we try....), to hold on to the bitter end - so that then at least we can say, it was a battle well fought.

A battle well fought, but destined to be lost.....


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01-04-2014, 06:58 PM

I 100% agree. It is extremely extremely difficult and especially for those who get attached easily (unfortunately am one of these people).

I think the one thing which comforts me is that all desires and needs are answered in Jannah (eventually we will all be in Jannah - if Allah swa permits once we pay for our sins in hell - Allah swa knows best)

when i miss a person really bad to the point i break down in tears. I pray and pray for this individual and i know my prayers are much more meaningful and useful for this person than me seeing him/her, speaking to this individual etc. Alhamdulilah.

I know Allah swa is watching. I know it's very hard. It's really hard esp like you say sister, when feelings are involved. It's an everyday battle. The constant trip of going down memory lane doesn't help either. Sometimes i wish i could get rid of my feelings and memories as well but again, at the same time this is what shapes us and makes us all human beings. We are born with feelings. Feelings are temporary sister like this world is. However, feelings do play a massive part in our lives. I suppose we have the intellect and wisdom whether we choose to act on our feelings/desires in a good way or a bad way. Utilise these emotions in a positive way sister.

Think with your brain rather than your emotions. - this is what i try to do (or what i am trying to teach myself).

Allah swa knows best and he knows what we are going through. Everything is happening for a reason and Allah swa does not burden a soul with more than he/she can bear.

01-04-2014, 07:19 PM

I am so sad to read about you cat. I hope and pray that her suffering is minimal.

01-04-2014, 07:32 PM
It is incumbent to give treatment when one can find it. But if a person's (or animal's) condition is absolutely incurable and it is inevitable that the person / animal will die then I think that their suffering should not be prolonged with such artificial methods. Consider the fact that your cat is undoubtedly in pain due to its condition and will continue to be in pain so long as it is alive. So, when her condition is incurable then refrain from making her stay alive any longer for her sake. Spare the poor cat. The same goes for terminally ill humans. But in the case of humans, they may be able to let you know their feelings regarding the artificial methods being used to keep them alive, whether they want to use artificial methods to stay alive or not, etc. But in the case of an animal, it can't tell a human whether it wants to continue living or not.

A cat's average life span is 20. You may love it a lot but I think you should let it die when it can't stay alive on its own any more.

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01-05-2014, 07:00 AM

Letting go is very difficult. Letting go of anger, frustrations and loved ones, relationships etc. As a kid my family kept pets, loads of pets. The problem was I grew attached to them as it is normal to do and I found it hard to let go.

Now all grown up and with a family of my own, I realised that I never really had pets of my own accord now. First is due to the responsibility in caring for them, second perhaps due to the pain in separating from them.... In a way, I prefer it this way.


01-05-2014, 01:41 PM
depends on what you mean by difficult. i have let loved ones go and felt completely at peace afterwards tbh... but that doesnt mean i dont miss them and make dua for them.

i dno maybe its different for everyone

01-07-2014, 12:29 AM
Letting my wife go was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But this is what the best for us, and this was what she want.

She ever told me on a midnight, if Allah call one of us, she wanted to be called first because she would not able to bear the sadness if I go earlier than her. I understand it, I know she loved me so great.

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