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Signor
01-07-2014, 02:43 PM
Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?
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Signor
01-07-2014, 02:49 PM
5 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your Mental Strength

Psychology often discusses mental health — but what’s not often discussed is a clear definition of mental strength. To me, mental strength means that you regulate your emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave in a positive manner, despite your circumstances. Developing mental strength is about finding the courage to live according to your values and being bold enough to create your own definition of success.

Mental strength involves more than just willpower; it requires hard work and commitment. It’s about establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote your time and energy to self-improvement.Although it’s easier to feel mentally strong when life seems simple — often, true mental strength becomes most apparent in the midst of tragedy. Choosing to develop skills that increase your mental strength is the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles.Many exercises exist that can help you develop mental strength. But here are five that can get you started:

1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs
We’ve all developed core beliefs about ourselves, our lives and the world in general. Core beliefs develop over time and largely depend upon our past experiences. Whether you’re aware of your core beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, your behavior and emotions.
Sometimes, core beliefs are inaccurate and unproductive. For example, if you believe that you’ll never succeed in life, you may be less apt to apply for new jobs — and inadvertently, you may not present yourself well on job interviews. Therefore, your core beliefs may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Identify and evaluate your core beliefs. Look for beliefs that are black and white, and then find exceptions to the rule. Very few things in life are “always” or “never” true. Modifying core beliefs requires purposeful intention and hard work, but it can change the entire course of your life.

2. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely
Wasting brain power ruminating about things you can’t control drains mental energy quickly. The more you think about negative problems that you can’t solve, the less energy you’ll have leftover for creative endeavors. For example, sitting and worrying about the weather forecast isn’t helpful. If a major storm is headed your way, worrying about it won’t prevent it. You can, however, choose to prepare for it. Focus on what is only within your control.
Save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as solving problems or setting goals.When your thoughts aren’t productive, make a conscious effort to shift your mental energy to more helpful topics. The more you practice expending your mental energy wisely, the more it will become a habit.

3. Replace Negative Thoughts with Productive Thoughts
Although most of us don’t spend time thinking about our thoughts, increasing your awareness of your thinking habits proves useful in building resilience. Exaggerated, negative thoughts, such as, “I can’t ever do anything right,” hold you back from reaching your full potential. Catch your negative thoughts before they spiral out of control and influence your behavior.
Identify and replace overly negative thoughts with thoughts that are more productive. Productive thoughts don’t need to be extremely positive, but should be realistic. A more balanced thought may be, “I have some weaknesses, but I also have plenty of strengths.” Changing your thoughts requires constant monitoring, but the process can be instrumental in helping you become your best self.

4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort
Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions. In fact, mental strength requires you to become acutely aware of your emotions so you can make the best choice about how to respond. Mental strength is about accepting your feelings without being controlled by them.
Mental strength also involves an understanding of when it makes sense to behave contrary to your emotions. For example, if you experience anxiety that prevents you from trying new things or accepting new opportunities, try stepping out of your comfort zone if you want to continue to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence grows.
Practice behaving like the person you’d like to become. Instead of saying, “I wish I could be more outgoing,” choose to behave in a more outgoing manner, whether you feel like it or not. Some discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and tolerating that discomfort will help make your vision a reality, one small step at a time.

5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily
Today’s busy world doesn’t lend itself to making much time available for quiet reflection. Create time to reflect upon your progress toward developing mental strength. At the end of each day, ask yourself what you’ve learned about your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Consider what you hope to improve upon or accomplish tomorrow.

Developing mental strength is a work in progress. There is always room for improvement, and at times this will seem more difficult than at other times. Reflecting upon your progress can reinforce your ability to reach your definition of success while living according to your values.
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ardianto
01-07-2014, 05:02 PM
Late of 2001 in an office room.

“You want to work as a salesman here, don’t you?”
“Yes, sir!”
“What’s your work experience?”
“I have worked in several job”
“Your first job?”
“I’ve ever had a travel bureau company”
“Really?. Where?”
“In … (street name)”
“Wait, … wait ! …. Do you mean that company?”
“Yes!”
“You were the owner?”
“Yes!”
(silent) “How can a boss like you want to work as salesman?”
“I was a boss, but now I am not a company boss anymore”

He looked at my face and seemed like he didn’t believe it. But I was not kidding, work as salesman was the job which I expected in that time, and I had my own reason.

I was born in upper middle class family, it made my life so easy and so happy. And my dream job was become a business owner.

I established my first business when I was 24, almost three years before I got married. But I made big mistake in business. Then when I entered my third years of my married life, I lost my companies. And also lost a house, land, cars. My wife was working a bank in that time, but I didn't want to run from my responsibility as a husband. So I tried to do anything that I could do. I tried to start a micro business, but failed. I worked in my friend's company, economic crisis happened. I lost a job again.

But I tried not to surrender, especially because I already had a kid. I tried to start micro business few times, and failed few times too. Finally I tried to become property broker.

I was not a success property broker, also I felt not comfortable with this job. I wanted to be a business owner again. So, after thinking long I decided to become a salesman.

Became a salesman was a decision which criticized by some people around me. They asked me why didn't I asked a job from my family?. Even my mother was angry because I refused a job behind the desk which my relative offered to me, and chose to work as salesman which I must travel around the city.

But I had my own reason why I chose to work as salesman. I realized that my failure in business was because I had lack of sense of entrepreneurship. If I wanted to be a businessman again, at first I should increase my sense of entrepreneurship. And work as salesman could give me a chance for it.

Work as salesman was not an easy job. I must travel around the city on my motorbike. I had sold my car in that time to fulfill my family needs. I met many people that mostly of them said "no!" when I offered the product. I gained only small amount of money. But I still believe that the brighter future would come.

Mid of 2002. Someone offered me to take over courier agent company. Not expensive, but I didn't have money in that time. So I borrowed money from my sister to take over it.

Alhamdulillah, this was my turning point. Started with just few customers, I could get more customers. Even later I was praised by head office due to progress which I made in sales. My sense of entrepreneurship which sharpened when I worked as salesman really helped me.

I cannot describe myself a success businessman now. My income is not so big, actually. But Alhamdulillah I can fulfill my family needs and can give job to my employees. Compared with some of my friends I still lower. But I do not feel inferior, and do not feel superior toward those who 'lower' than me. In Shaa Allah, I will try to do better and better.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow and in the future. Maybe I will failed again, maybe I will fall again. But I promise, every time I fall, I will try to stand and walk again. I don't want to lose my honor as a male, as a man.

Live as a man is not easy. We bear big responsibility. We must face many problems and obstacles in our life journey. Must be we face failure, must be there are time when we lose, when we fall. But always try to stand and walk again. Maybe people will call you loser, maybe people will insult you. But this is not dishonor for you because the real dishonor is when you give up.

So, brothers, don't ever lose your honor as a man. Don't ever give up to the problems, to the obstacle in your life.

Always be strong, always be a man. :)
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BeTheChange
01-07-2014, 07:41 PM
This is very much needed in my life - a strong mental spirit!
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Eric H
01-07-2014, 07:42 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Signor;

I find a great mental strength; by trying to offer up my problems to God. About three years ago I was diagnosed with non Hodgkins Lymphoma, a cancer which had killed our friend, after the initial shock, I prayed for the wisdom, strength, peace and serenity to do God's will, no matter what the cancer has in store for me. I can only say I have experienced profound moments of peace, I have never had a moments worry about cancer.

I shall be going out on the streets this Friday until about 3 am, I am a volunteer with our local Street Pastor team, we come into contact with drunks, fights, angry people, wonderful people and sadly a number of troubled people. We have choices, on the one hand we have phones with a direct link to the police, we do not have to do anything we feel threatened by, on the other hand, we just go, and we pray as we go.

I recall one fight with about a dozen drunk lads about 2 am, as we approached I saw a man punched to the ground, another man lay on the floor and was being kicked, a lady was punched in the face. Somehow we were in the middle of all this, other people were coming to see some action, and trying to provoke more fighting. I am not sure what we did, but the fight came to a stop, we stayed with them for about 20 minutes or so, when it came time to go, they were shaking our hands and thanking us for being there. There were three of us there, our ages ranged from 62 to 75, the other two were ladies, whom I have a profound respect for.

We could not do this without putting our trust in God first.

In the spirit of striving for peace and kindness in our town

Eric
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Signor
01-08-2014, 04:42 PM
Greetings Eric,Hope you are doing well!

Originally Posted by Eric H
I find a great mental strength; by trying to offer up my problems to God.
I used to have a belief "I am the problem and I am the solution",to anyone who is ignorant of Allah's might and power,this sounds perfectly fine.However,Later in my life I met a brother who assisted me to a better train of thought.So I made a slight alteration to statement,which comes with an enormous effect(to be honest,I am still learning how to implement this in my life),now it becomes

I am the problem and Allah has the solutions


Surely,To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.

Leaving you with Peace,Love and Respect.

Regards

Those who missed it,Here is a similar thread

Things My Grandmother Told Me Before She Died
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Signor
01-08-2014, 04:59 PM
Special Thanks To Eric H for adding the flavor of religion,I am sure everyone will like this piece of writing too

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ardianto
01-08-2014, 05:07 PM
Originally Posted by Signor

I am the problem and Allah has the solutions

I've ever thinking that I was a trouble for some people. But later their love realized me that they saw me as just a trouble maker, not the trouble itself.

So I prefer to say I am in problem and Allah has the solutions

We are not a problem for Allah, we are not a problem for anyone. We can make mistake and cause problems for the others. But do not ever regard ourselves as problem because it will close our heart and we will never able to love the others.
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Signor
01-08-2014, 05:38 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
I am in problem and Allah has the solutions
I guess,my statement got a little bit misunderstood.It shouldn't be taken literally,basically "I am the problem" means I become the cause/creator of a problem(Debatable Issue:Now the trouble could be a trial/test or it could save me from an unseen calamity,a result of my own deeds so on and so forth,Unseen possibilities are endless)The nearest thing I can provide you is with this verse:

“Whatever of good befalls you, it is from Allah; and whatever of ill befalls you, it is from yourself.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 79]
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Signor
01-20-2014, 03:43 PM
Why Failure Is Good for Success
To achieve the greatest success, you have to embrace the prospect of failure.


The sweetest victory is the one that’s most difficult.
The one that requires you to reach down deep inside, to fight with everything you’ve got, to be willing to leave everything out there on the battlefield—without knowing, until that do-or-die moment, if your heroic effort will be enough.

Society doesn’t reward defeat, and you won’t find many failures documented in history books. The exceptions are those failures that become steppingstones to later success. Such is the case with Thomas Edison, whose most memorable invention was the light bulb, which purportedly took him 1,000 tries before he developed a successful prototype. “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” a reporter asked. “I didn’t fail 1,000 times,” Edison responded. “The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Unlike Edison, many of us avoid the prospect of failure. In fact, we’re so focused on not failing that we don’t aim for success, settling instead for a life of mediocrity. When we do make missteps, we gloss over them, selectively editing out the miscalculations or mistakes in our life’s résumé.
“Failure is not an option,” NASA flight controller Jerry C. Bostick reportedly stated during the mission to bring the damaged Apollo 13 back to Earth, and that phrase has been etched into the collective memory ever since.

To many in our success-driven society, failure isn’t just considered a non-option—it’s deemed a deficiency, says Kathryn Schulz, author of Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error. “Of all the things we are wrong about, this idea of error might well top the list,” Schulz says. “It is our meta-mistake: We are wrong about what it means to be wrong. Far from being a sign of intellectual inferiority, the capacity to err is crucial to human cognition.”

Life’s Greatest Teacher
When we take a closer look at the great thinkers throughout history, a willingness to take on failure isn’t a new or extraordinary thought at all. From the likes of Augustine, Darwin and Freud to the business mavericks and sports legends of today, failure is as powerful a tool as any in reaching great success.

“Failure and defeat are life’s greatest teachers [but] sadly, most people, and particularly conservative corporate cultures, don’t want to go there,” says Ralph Heath, managing partner of Synergy Leadership Group and author of Celebrating Failure: The Power of Taking Risks, Making Mistakes and Thinking Big. “Instead they choose to play it safe, to fly below the radar, repeating the same safe choices over and over again. They operate under the belief that if they make no waves, they attract no attention; no one will yell at them for failing because they generally never attempt anything great at which they could possibly fail (or succeed).”

However, in today’s post-recession economy, some employers are no longer shying away from failure—they’re embracing it. According to a recent article in BusinessWeek, many companies are deliberately seeking out those with track records reflecting both failure and success, believing that those who have been in the trenches, survived battle and come out on the other side have irreplaceable experience and perseverance. They’re veterans of failure.

The prevailing school of thought in progressive companies—such as Intuit, General Electric, Corning and Virgin Atlantic—is that great success depends on great risk, and failure is simply a common byproduct. Executives of such organizations don’t mourn their mistakes but instead parlay them into future gains.

“The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear,’ ” says Heath. “To do their work well, to be successful and to keep their companies competitive, leaders and workers on the front lines need to stick their necks out a mile every day. They have to deliver risky, edgy, breakthrough ideas, plans, presentations, advice, technology, products, leadership, bills and more. And they have to deliver all this fearlessly—without any fear whatsoever of failure, rejection or punishment.”

Reaching Your Potential
The same holds true for personal quests, whether in overcoming some specific challenge or reaching your full potential in all aspects of life. To achieve your personal best, to reach unparalleled heights, to make the impossible possible, you can’t fear failure, you must think big, and you have to push yourself.

When we think of people with this mindset, we imagine the daredevils, the pioneers, the inventors, the explorers: They embrace failure as a necessary step to unprecedented success.

But you don’t have to walk a tightrope, climb Mount Everest or cure polio to employ this mindset in your own life. When the rewards of success are great, embracing possible failure is key to taking on a variety of challenges, whether you’re reinventing yourself by starting a new business or allowing yourself to trust another person to build a deeper relationship.

“To achieve any worthy goal, you must take risks,” says writer and speaker John C. Maxwell. In his book Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success, he points to the example of legendary aviator Amelia Earhart, who set several records and achieved many firsts in her lifetime, including being the first female pilot to fly solo over the Atlantic Ocean. Although her final flight proved fateful, Maxwell believes she knew the risk—and that the potential reward was worth it. “[Earhart’s] advice when it came to risk was simple and direct: ‘Decide whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying.’ ”

Of course, the risks you take should be calculated; you shouldn’t fly blindly into the night and simply hope for the best. Achieving the goal or at least waging a heroic effort requires preparation, practice and some awareness of your skills and talents.

Easing Into a Fearless Mindset
“One of the biggest secrets to success is operating inside your strength zone but outside of your comfort zone,” Heath says. Although you might fail incredibly, you might succeed incredibly—and that’s why incredible risk and courage are requisite. Either way, you’ll learn more than ever about your strengths, talents and resolve, and you’ll strengthen your will for the next challenge.

If this sounds like dangerous territory, it can be. But there are ways to ease into this fearless mindset. The first is to consciously maintain a positive attitude so that, no matter what you encounter, you’ll be able to see the lessons of the experience and continue to push forward.

“It’s true that not everyone is positive by nature,” says Maxwell, who cites his father as someone who would describe himself as a negative person by nature. “Here’s how my dad changed his attitude. First he made a choice: He continually chooses to have a positive attitude. Second, he’s continually reading and listening to materials that bolster that attitude. For example, he’s read The Power of Positive Thinking many times. I didn’t get it at first, so once I asked him why. His response: ‘Son, I need to keep filling the tank so I can stay positive.’ ”

Heath recommends studying the failures and subsequent reactions of successful people and, within a business context, repeating such histories for others. “Reward them and applaud their efforts in front of the entire organization so everyone understands it is OK to fail. So employees say to themselves, ‘I see that Bill, the vice president of widgets, who the president adores, failed, and he is not only back at work, but he is driving a hot new sports car. I can fail and come to work the next day. Bill is proof of it.’ ”

Finally, Heath stays motivated by the thought that, “if I become complacent and don’t take risks, someone will notice what I am doing and improve upon my efforts over time, and put me out of work. You’ve got to keep finding better ways to run your life, or someone will take what you’ve accomplished, improve upon it, and be very pleased with the results. Keep moving forward or die.”
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Eric H
01-20-2014, 04:30 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Signor;
“One of the biggest secrets to success is operating inside your strength zone but outside of your comfort zone,”
My greatest sporting achievements have been operating outside both my strength and comfort zones. When you attempt something you have never done before, you automatically earn the right to fail, so failure is not a problem, nobody can achieve everything.

Afterwards you have time to reflect, did I do my very best, could I do better, is there something else I could try?

In the spirit of striving

Eric
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Muhaba
01-20-2014, 08:05 PM
Some very inspirational stuff over here! I haven't read it all but hope to find the time to do so.
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glo
01-21-2014, 07:09 AM
The OP reminds me of the principle of CONTROL - INFLUENCE - ACCEPT.

There are some (but not many) things in life which we have complete control over.
Many more things we cannot control, but we can at least influence.
Other things are completely outside our control or influence and we simply have to learn to accept them and let them go - no matter how much we dislike them.
We often waste much time, energy and emotions battling with the latter group - trying to change things we really have no power over.

The trick is to look at each situation and problem and discern which of the three it falls under and what we should do with it ... and to invest our energy and time into the things we CAN change or make better.
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glo
01-21-2014, 07:12 AM
If you dwell on negative thoughts (ruminate), it often helps to distract yourself and get busy with other things. Doesn't really matter whether that's running, baking, praying, reading, meeting a friend etc - as long as it takes your mind from the negative cycle.

Personally I like to be physically active. Something about the rhythm of running or walking, which put my mind at ease.

But other things may work better for others.
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Eric H
01-21-2014, 07:51 PM
I have used some strange mind tricks; to push my limits of endurance; so far beyond what I thought was possible, sorry its a bit of a ramble.

I used to do a lot of cycling, when I was in my thirties, and changed from riding a geared bike to riding a fixed wheel. For those of you not familiar, this is a bike with only one gear, and it has no free wheel. When you are going downhill, you need to turn the peddles round in excess of 220 rpm; to get over 40mph. To put this in perspective, when you see riders sprinting for the finish on the Tour De France, they peddle at around 130 – 140 rpm, about a third slower than riding a fixed downhill. But, they do use far higher gears, so they will go faster than 40mph.

When I changed to riding fixed, I entered the Paris Brest Paris, a 1200k event; ( about 750 miles in 84 hours), leaving me three months to train for it. I only managed about 500k of a 600k event; I then entered a 1,000k event and managed about 650k. There was now a month to go, and I had failed on two shorter events.

Lots of people were telling me I was daft, to even consider the ride on a fixed, especially after failing two shorter events. But failure was not a problem for me, this had nothing to do with other people, it was my challenge. If I succeeded, it was nothing to do with them, if I failed, it was nothing to do with them.

Now here is the mind trick, which is totally daft, but it worked, I decided I would ride about 200k to the start of the event, then ride another 200k home after, making about 1600k in total. This would be about a 1,000k more than I had done, there was no back up plan, it was all or nothing on one gear.

By adding an extra third onto the target, kind of made the 1,200k seem like no big deal, my recollection was the complete ride was relatively easy. Despite turning the peddles round some 225,000 times in 84 hours, and about another 75,000 revs to and from the event. Over two thousand people from all over the world; entered this event, I was the only one to ride it on a fixed in 1983.

I often use the single gear fixed wheel, to help my understanding of ‘One God’

You can have a bike with a dozen gears, constantly changing gear to suit the terrain, when you have a long decent, you just stop peddling and freewheel.

When you ride a fixed, you strap your feet to the peddles, you are locked to them, you only have one gear, this is the same for uphill, downhill and the flat, and you have to peddle every inch of the way.

In the spirit of striving

Eric
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'Abd-al Latif
01-21-2014, 08:04 PM
Nice posts mashaa'Allah.

Sources?
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Signor
01-22-2014, 06:30 AM
Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
Nice posts mashaa'Allah.

Sources?
Assalamu Alaikum

I embed URLs on Main head of any article posted.Insha'Allah it helps next time.

God Bless
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ardianto
01-24-2014, 03:42 PM
I have tried many things, and I have failed many times. :D

But I got a great lesson. Do not thinking "If they can do it, I can do it too", but thinking "If they can do it, I should learn how they do it".

One cause of failure is do something without the right technique. It's because we believe if other people can do it, we can do it too. But we forget, other people do it in proper way, while we are not.

There are many business that failed because this. Some people see other people are success in a business field. Then they belive if they build same business they will be success too. But they are failed because they do not really know how to manage this business.

So, try to learn the right way to do, before we do something.
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Signor
02-15-2014, 12:20 PM
Re: Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

Ways to Have Happiness Back in Your Depressing World

How many times have you heard the phrase: “Happiness is a choice?” Well, I’m here to tell you that it is indeed correct. In a world of horrific events discussed every five minutes on the television, radio and in the newspapers, it’s no wonder so many people are sad when the state of the world is as it is. It’s times like these that we need to view life from a new perspective, to not let outside circumstances, the media and other people’s negative attitudes affect us in our daily lives. With this in mind I’ve come up with 10 ways to bring the happiness back into your life, to help gain a better perspective on what is happening around you, and to help you to live a brighter, more vibrant life.

1. Always surround yourself with people who love you.
Sounds obvious, but it’s true! If you surround yourself with those who love, nurture and care for you, you will know that even through the toughest times you will always be supported. However, if you surround yourself with negative, soul destroying and energy zapping people who are only out for themselves, your world will look completely the opposite. When love is around you, you will feel it, and because of that you will provide the same love to others who may need it from you. Sometimes, it will be necessary to move away from those who drain you and bring you down. That’s OK. Each person we meet is there to teach us a valuable lesson, one way or another.

2. Distract yourself by doing something you love.
What do you love to do? When was the last time you did something you really loved to do? If you’ve answered, “I don’t know,” to both of those questions, then I’d suggest taking some time out to remember what it is that inspires you, lifts you and fills you with passion. In a world with so much sadness we need to remember that following your bliss and doing something you love will have a deep and meaningful effect on you and those around you. It’s doing things you love that brings you joy and brings the happiness back in an otherwise cold world.

3. Smile, laugh and play as often as you can.
Try not to take life too seriously. I know that ‘seriousness’ is required in some circumstances, but if you continually treat life as a struggle or as something painful then it will continue to be that way. Let your true self come out by remembering what it was like as a child to be carefree, to laugh, to smile and to play regularly. If you can learn to bring more play into your life and the lives of those you love, you’ll see that life no longer has to be depressing or sad. Just because the rest of the world is like that doesn’t mean you have to follow suit!

4. Be grateful for what you already have in life.
This is always so important and no doubt you’ve seen it many times before. Being thankful or grateful for what you already have in life is one of the main things to remember when living in a depressing and sad world. To put the happiness back in your life you have to be thankful daily. Remember, if you are reading this you probably have a roof over your head, or you have food to eat, or water readily available and most of all you are able to wake up every morning with good health. It is easy to take these things for granted, especially here in the Western world. So instead of worrying or wishing for things you do not have, always be grateful for everything you already do have.

5. Write down your thoughts to calm the mind.
Journaling or writing is a powerful way to unburden the mind of all the sadness or depression around us. So often those who get weighed down with depression or mental health issues feel that they have no one to talk to or they are unable to express themselves openly. Writing is a perfect way to help with getting happiness back. It can release any stress, worries or anxiety, and once you have written down your thoughts—however negative or sad they are—you will feel a hundred times better for letting it out. If you can write every day, putting down your thoughts and feelings and sharing them on paper, you will feel a weight lifted from your shoulders. This is one habit I would recommend if you want to be happier and healthier.

6. Go back to nature.
Nature is beautiful and if it’s been a while since you stepped out in it and really took in its natural wonder and magnificence, then perhaps you should take some time out and absorb it fully. There is no need to go on a great hike or head miles away to truly embrace nature, just stepping out into your back garden early in the morning or late in the evening will do the same thing. Sitting and listening to the birds, watching as they go about their daily routines, feeding their young, catching worms or singing their wonderful songs will soon have you fully aware of their presence. It’s not until you really sit, listen and observe that you become in awe of how nature just gets on with life in the only way it knows how, one day at a time.

7. Do something for someone else.
A lot of what has happened in the world to make it depressing has happened because we have forgotten to love and forgotten to give. To get the happiness back in your life, it might be time to start looking at how much giving you actually do. When someone asks you to do something for them, how do you react? Are you resentful, offhand or plain rude? If you have answered “yes” to any of those, then perhaps it’s time to re-think how you are to those you love. Giving does not have to be about money, it can just be giving back time, or helping someone move, or lending a loved one a book. It can be anything. I’ve always felt that if you aren’t giving then you aren’t living because that’s what life is all about!

8. Always look for the good in the world rather than the bad.
If you look for reasons to be happy and to get back to happiness then you will find them. So rather than focusing on what’s bad in the world, perhaps it’s time to shift your perspective and focus on the good around you. Remember that your perceptions usually determine your reality, so make sure they are good ones!

9. Trust your gut instinct.
You are the only one who knows and understands what is right or wrong for you. To keep the depressing world from hammering on your door, remember to follow your intuition and have faith that you are going in the right direction. It’s when you believe that you can survive anything that you will have happiness back in your life. Don’t forget that there are no mistakes in life, there are only opportunities to grow.

10. Be the change you want to see in the world.
The world may be a depressing state of affairs, especially when you listen to negative people and the media. If you want to see a change in the world and have happiness back in your life, then start changing your own beliefs and attitude. It’s when you change that you can become what you want to see in the world. If you are more loving, then you will experience that more within your daily life. If you want more happiness then be happy, if you want more money then give money—the list is endless!

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Signor
09-14-2014, 06:39 PM
Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy

1. Quit procrastinating on your goals.
Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it. Action and change are often resisted when they’re needed most. Get a hold of yourself and have discipline. Putting something off instantly makes it harder and scarier. What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow. And there’s nothing more stressful than the perpetual lingering of an unfinished task.

The secret to getting ahead is simply getting started. Starting, all by itself, is usually sufficient to build enough momentum to keep the ball rolling. So forget about the finish line and just concentrate on taking your first step. Say to yourself, “I choose to start this task with a small, imperfect step.” All those small steps will add up and you’ll actually get to see changes fairly quickly.

2. Quit blaming others and making excuses.
Stop blaming others for what you have or don’t have, or for what you feel or don’t feel. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility and perpetuate the problem. Stop giving your power away and start taking responsibility for your life. Blaming is just another sorry excuse, and making excuses is the first step towards failure; you and only you are responsible for your life choices and decisions.

3. Quit trying to avoid change.
If nothing ever changed there would be no sunrise the next morning. Most of us are comfortable where we are even though the whole universe is constantly changing around us. Learning to accept this is vital to our happiness and general success. Because only when we change, do we grow, and begin to see a world we never knew was possible.

And don’t forget, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace it, and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

4. Quit trying to control the uncontrollable.
If you try to control everything, and then worry about the things you can’t control, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration and misery.

Some forces are out of your control, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether you’re happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. The best thing you can do is to let go of what you can’t control, and invest your energy in the things you can – like your attitude.

5. Quit talking down to yourself.
Nothing will bring you down quicker than berating yourself. The mind is a superb instrument if used right, but when used incorrectly, it becomes very destructive. Be aware of your mental self-talk. We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.

As Henry Ford once stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” One of the major causes of why we fail is due to self-doubt and negative self-talk. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones, over time you will change the trajectory of your life.

6. Quit criticizing others.
The negativity you bleed out toward others will gradually cripple your own happiness. When you truly feel comfortable with your own imperfections, you won’t feel threatened or offended by the imperfections you see in other people.

So stop worrying about the flaws you see in everyone else, and focus on yourself. Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.

7. Quit running from your problems and fears.
Trust me, if everyone threw their problems in a pile for you to see, you would grab yours back. Tackle your problems and fears swiftly, don’t run away from them. The best solution is to face them head on no matter how powerful they may seem.

Fears, in particularly, stop you from taking chances and making decisions. They keep you confined to just the small space where you feel completely comfortable. But your life’s story is simply the culmination of many small, unique experiences, many of which require you to stretch your comfort zone. Letting your fears and worries control you is not ‘living,’ it’s merely existing.

Bottom line: Either you own your problems and fears, or they will ultimately own you.

8. Quit living in another time and place.
Some people spend their entire lives trying to live in another time and place. They lament about what has been, what they could have done, or what might become. However, the past is gone, and the future doesn’t exist. No matter how much time we spend thinking and lamenting about either, it doesn’t change anything.

One of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that our brightest future hinges on our ability to pay attention to what we’re doing right now, today.

We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment requires active, open, intentional awareness on the present. Don’t fantasize about being on vacation while at work, and don’t worry about the work piling up on your desk when you’re on vacation. Live for now. Notice the beauty unfolding around you.

9. Quit trying to be someone you’re not.
One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you, and you’ll love yourself more too.

10. Quit being ungrateful.
Not all the puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time you’ll realize they do, perfectly. So thank the things that didn’t work out, because they just made room for the things that will. And thank the ones who walked away from you, because they just made room for the ones who won’t.

No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
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BeTheChange
09-26-2014, 09:37 PM
Jazahka Allah. I will be printing some of these articles. Very useful in daily life. Thank you for sharing. When i implement the advice am sure you will be rewarded in sha Allah. Ameen.
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Signor
10-24-2014, 05:20 PM
Why Most People Dream and Only Some Do: The Go-Getter Theory

I remember it like it was yesterday. I just won the biggest marble from a boy three years younger than me, and my “best buddy” back then was talking to me on how much he liked his new moped. (He wasn’t legally old enough to drive it on the street, yet he did).

He got it from his father who, I believe, up till now still has a bicycle shop.

We used to talk about things we’d like to do. He was going to have his own motor-shop one day, while all I could think about at that time was my new marble. (It was huge!) I wanted to win more marbles, get rich and …

Now let’s fast forward to present tense. My best friend isn’t my friend anymore since we went our separate ways towards different schools and places. Recently, I saw a different classmate from back then and he told me my friend is now working eight to five at the assembly line of a car factory, doing the most repetitive job possible, for no specific reason whatsoever.

Not really what he had hoped for at first.

What differs those who are naturally set to succeed, from others who are not?
Why does one “just do it” and complete a job, while the other never even gets to it, or quits at the first speed bump?

It boggles my mind why some entrepreneurs make it big while others settle for mediocre or close to nothing results!

What differentiates each of them?

Lately, I’ve met a lot of business men and students set to create a startup, and I started noticing a few differences…

It’s not education, skills or talent; It’s passion, drive and motivation. Go-getters are passionate about what they do. They wake up in the morning fired up with enthusiasm coupled with unshakeable belief that they will make life work the way they want.

People who get stuff done strive for “good enough” and go on to the next. Quit being a perfectionist…
I believe that perfectionism is a bad “quality” to have and shouldn’t be in the dictionary of any entrepreneur. If you are a perfectionist, you will try to turn every detail into a Sistine chapel and burn out. Good enough is key in getting things done. If you try to deliver “perfection”, you’ll never reach your goal.
People who do things that are good enough end up accomplishing much more than those who chase after the illusion of perfection.
Coincidentally, most successful entrepreneurs I’ve met so far are the ones who didn’t pass school with flying colours but are the ones who barely or didn’t get through. The ones who had just enough grades to go on to the next year. Why would you want to put in all this effort to obtain an excess of grades that are useless to you? Just get enough and spend the rest of your time on stuff you enjoy.

The Go-Getter is the person who acts now, not tomorrow, and thinks in short-terms.
They are proactive, not reactive. They shape their own destiny and never allow themselves to fall prey to the so-called external circumstances.
Always be asking yourself: “What is the smallest next step”, “What do I need to do now, to get things going”

People who can think of the next actionable task and are able to be specific about it, are the ones who will get to it and deal with it.

They act now and execute specific steps.
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.

The second best time is now.

Example: Don’t think “I need to market my product to bloggers” but think in multiple specific steps:

  1. I need to get 10 names of bloggers relevant to my subject
  2. I’m going to get the names at website x
  3. What are the top 2 specific key features of my startup?
  4. Write 3 custom mails about those features
  5. Send it to them TODAY

Achievers hate to let themselves down
I’m not talking about failing. Fail big & fast. Fail forward. Don’t sweat it.

I’m talking about the mental state of those people who’d rather die trying, than give up half way. The main motivation of achievers comes from within and is not nourished from the outside. For most people, it’s easy to give up promises you make to yourself (look at all the failed new year’s resolutions) but for achievers, that’s the hardest thing to do. Walking around with the feeling that they didn’t give it all they’ve got. The feeling of “what if I went all the way”, “what if…”

The Go-Getter loves what he does (and delegates the rest)
Key to getting off your feet and kicking some ass is simply doing what you’re good at and what you love. Dump/outsource/delegate the rest. Be able to set your ego aside and let someone better than you take over the parts you suck at.

It is not education, skills nor talent; It is passion, drive and motivation.
Go-getters are passionate about what they do. They wake up in the morning fired up with enthusiasm coupled with an unshakable belief that they will make life work the way they want.

Are you a go-getter or a star-gazer? Are you going all the way or already preparing a plan B? Are you constantly talking about your idea, your exit strategy or why something just won’t work, or are you the one kicking it and working it out?

Either way, whatever is happening to you, your business, your life or your idea, whether good or bad, most likely…

It’s all your fault.

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Scimitar
10-24-2014, 11:45 PM
They say "fortune favours the brave" and though this may have some truth in it - I honestly believe that the "brave favour Allah" and it is through HIS mercy that we are tested with wealth and good life.

Scimi
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Signor
05-27-2015, 06:33 PM
Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Confidence. It's that intangible thing which makes the difference between feeling scared and feeling powerful. When you feel confident, you are unstoppable and it seems like your path is laid out clearly in front of you. When you lack confidence, however, you can feel afraid, and sometimes all you can see ahead is the possibility of failure.

At some stage in our lives almost all of us will need to conquer our lack of confidence. (I've certainly been there!) The question is, how do you do it?

Oftentimes coaching and transformation can bring about an increased level of confidence. (One of the many great by-products of the process.) While this does not happen overnight and there is no magic pill, the following are some strategies I have found that work wonders when working with clients.

1. Get out of your comfort zone. When you do the things that you think you can't, your comfort zone will continue to expand. Even doing something seemingly small every day will lead you to something bigger. You will grow and will begin to feel unstoppable. Just take that first step.

2. Be yourself -- unapologetically. Remember, you can't control others or what they think. Wayne Dyer believes that if you ask 30 people their opinions of you, you are likely to find you have 30 different reputations. Strive to observe and witness others' opinions, rather than being attached to them. Find a personal style that feels great to you. Dress well, in the clothing you feel is very you. Live your life the way you feel is right.

3. Acknowledge your fears.
Fear is normal. The key is to not let it debilitate you. Recognizing your fears will not make them come true. It's best to acknowledge and address the fears rather than not face them. Write out what you are afraid of and what you will do to mitigate those fears.

4. Let go of the idea of perfectionism. Striving to be perfect can cause self-doubt (as well as "stuckness"). Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Not allowing yourself to make mistakes will halt your growth. Overthinking can do the same.

5. Keep reminders of your awesomeness. Jack Canfield says, "Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments." Make a list of the qualities that are fabulously YOU. Acknowledge your own achievements. Revisit this list when you feel down.

6. Find what makes you feel confident -- physically. I recently worked with a woman who said that she literally gets a physical feeling when she feels confident. (I agree; confidence is not just in the mind.) I asked her to pay attention to what she is doing when she feels that feeling, and do more of that. One thing she came up with was listening to a specific song in the car. When she listens to it she feels awesome. Simple.

7. Be mindful of your body language. This takes a level of self-awareness and presence. As I took dance classes throughout my childhood, I frequently heard the teacher announce, "Heads up and shoulders back! Stand up straight and tall!" Give it a shot. Walk and move with purpose. It makes a world of difference rather than walking slouched with our heads down, which makes us feel low and sends out a negative impression to the people around you. Watch for folded arms and slouched posture, and for fidgeting with your hands. Smile and make eye contact.

8. Practice assertiveness. When you address your own needs, miracles happen. So ask for what you want. I dare you.

9. Think confidently.
Placing your focus on the worst possible outcome can cause you unnecessary anxiety, and stop you taking action. Use your energy to acknowledge that there are an endless number of outcomes. What you focus on expands. See the results you want and they are likely to happen.

10. Forgive yourself when you're beating yourself up, and remember that you can begin a new day. Your past does not predict your future.

Implementing some of these items can help you overcome the limitations that a lack of confidence imposes on you, and guide you as you find the power within to start changing your world. Feeling more confident is one part of living a happier, more fulfilling life.

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Signor
05-27-2015, 06:39 PM
In the case of any person whose judgment is really deserving of confidence, how has it become so? Because he has kept his mind open to criticism of his opinions and conduct. Because it has been his practice to listen to all that could be said against him; to profit by as much of it as was just, and expound to himself, and upon occasion to others, the fallacy of what was fallacious. Because he has felt, that the only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject, is by hearing what can be said about it by persons of every variety of opinion, and studying all modes in which it can be looked at by every character of mind. No wise man ever acquired his wisdom in any mode but this; nor is it in the nature of human intellect to become wise in any other manner.

John Stuart Mill,On Liberty
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Signor
05-27-2015, 06:57 PM
How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is made up of the thoughts, feelings, and opinions we have about ourselves. That means self-esteem isn't fixed. It can change, depending on the way we think. Over time, habits of negative thinking about ourselves can lower self-esteem.

Sometimes, people don't even realize that they're thinking so negatively about themselves. But once you're aware of it, and know that the way you think is up to you, you can begin to change the way you think. And changing the way you think about yourself changes the way you feel about yourself.

So if you want to feel better about yourself, try some of these things:

Manage your inner critic. Notice the critical things you say to yourself. Would you talk to a best friend like that? A harsh inner voice just tears us down. If you're in the habit of thinking self-critically, re-train yourself by rewording these negative unkind thoughts into more helpful feedback.

Focus on what goes well for you. Are you so used to focusing on your problems that they're all you see? Next time you catch yourself dwelling on problems or complaints about yourself or your day, find something positive to counter it. Each day, write down three good things about yourself, and/or three things that went well that day because of your action or effort.

Aim for effort rather than perfection. Some people get held back by their own pressure to be perfect. They lose out because they don't try. If you think, "I won't audition for the play because I probably won't get the lead," it's guaranteed that role will go to someone else.

View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes. Everyone does. They're part of learning. Instead of thinking, "I always mess up" remind yourself that it's not about always, just this specific situation. What can you do differently next time?

Edit thoughts that get you feeling inferior. Do you often compare yourself with others and come up feeling less accomplished or less talented? Notice what you're thinking. Something like: "She's so much better than I am. I'm no good at basketball. I should just stop playing" leads to feeling inferior, not to feeling good about yourself.

Remind yourself that everyone excels at different things. Focus on what you do well, and cheer on others for their success. Thinking more like this: "She's a great basketball player — but the truth is, I'm a better musician than athlete. Still, I'll keep playing because I enjoy it." helps you accept yourself and make the best of the situation.

Try new things, and give yourself credit. Experiment with different activities to help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in your new skills. Think about the good results. For example: I signed up for track and found out I'm pretty fast! These positive thoughts become good opinions of yourself, and add up to self-esteem.

Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change (like getting to a healthy weight), start today. If it's something you can't change (like your height), work on accepting it. Obsessing about our "flaws" can really skew your opinion of yourself and bring down your self-esteem. Most of the time, other people don't even notice these things!

Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan, and keep track of your progress. Train your inner voice to remind you of what you are accomplishing. For example: "I've been following my plan to exercise every day for 45 minutes. I feel good that I've kept my promise to myself. I know I can keep it up."

Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them. If someone disagrees, it's not a reflection on your worth or your intelligence. That person just sees things differently from you.

Accept compliments. When self-esteem is low, it's easy to overlook the good things people say about us. We don't believe it when someone says a nice thing. Instead, we think, "...yeah, but I'm not all that great..." and we brush off the compliment. Instead, let yourself absorb a compliment, appreciate it, and take it seriously. Give sincere compliments, too.

Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up your neighborhood, participate in a walkathon for a good cause, or volunteer your time in some other way. When you can see that what you do makes a difference, it builds your positive opinion of yourself, and makes you feel good. That's self-esteem.

Exercise! Being active and fit helps you feel good about yourself. You'll relieve stress, and be healthier, too!

Relax and have fun. Do you ever think stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were more attractive"? Thoughts like these can set you on a path to low self-esteem because they focus on what's not perfect instead of making the best of what is. Spend time with the people you care about, do the things you love, and focus on what's good. That helps you feel good about yourself, just as you are.

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Signor
06-10-2015, 10:57 AM
Motivational Quotes and Tips for Hard Times

1. Accepting Life’s Challenges
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
–Randy Pausch


In every life there are great challenges, and in every challenge there are great doses of life to be lived.

Whether you judge a challenge to be a problem or an opportunity says more about you than about the challenge itself. The way you choose to see the world is the way your world will be. This is what gives life its magic; it’s a continuous, dynamic phenomenon that becomes exactly what you choose to make it.

Do something extraordinary. Accept life’s opportunities. Realize that if you never step up to a challenge that’s a bit over your head, you’ll never know how tall you truly are. Rise to each challenge and continue adding value to the ever-growing possibilities that await your brilliance.

2. Working Hard
“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” –Beverly Sills

When you’re young you have this fantasy that super successful adults – writers, musicians, doctors, businessmen, etc. – have some kind of magical chest of tools allowing them to build masterpieces that are larger than life. You fanaticize about a hammer of creativity, a pliers of efficiency, a saw of wisdom, and so on and so forth.

But then you grow up and you realize, for the most part, everyone is working with the same set of imperfect, rusty, old tools – desire, commitment, honesty, kindness, love, persistence, etc. And as flawed and bent as they may be, they work wonders against the odds when you truly put them to the test.

3. Choosing Wisely
“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” –J.K. Rowling

The universe – people, books, life experience, etc. – can only give you good advice, but you ultimately decide what to do with it.

Life is ticking away every second. The worst thing is spending your entire life drowning slowly and not being able to convince yourself that you are in full control, and that you can easily save yourself by simply standing up.

This is your life, made up entirely of your choices, your actions, your thoughts, your relationships, etc. Someday you will either decide to save yourself or remain unsaved forever.

4. Growing from Problems
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

Times of great difficulty are times of great opportunity. These times may not seem ideal at first, but they usually provide keen insight into ideas of great value. When you are surrounded by problems, you are simultaneously given an opportunity to provide valuable solutions.

When times are good and everything is comfortably in order, it’s easy to become complacent and forget how skillful and resourceful you are capable of being. Troubled times are necessary evils that push you forward, because they eventually end, and the lessons and strengths you gain from them last a lifetime.

5. Laughing it Off
“Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.” –Veronica Roth

If you wish to measure your success in life, don’t bother analyzing your bank account, or your job description, or your relationship status, or your weight, or any other superficial badge society loves to pin on your resume. Just count the moments you spend peacefully in laughter. That’s what success is – living happily in your own way, and laughing at the highs, the lows, and all the ridiculous moments in between.

Do what you need to do, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh whenever you can because you can. There’s honestly nothing like deep breaths after a good chuckle – nothing in the whole wide world like a sore tummy and cheeks for all the right reasons.

6. Staying True to Yourself
“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.” –Rita Mae Brown

To make a positive difference in your life you must sometimes be different and take the road less traveled. It requires courage to go against the grain like this, especially when the people around you are confused and irritated by your choices; but such courage can bring great rewards when you stick to your guns.

Where others see only shadows of uncertainty, look for glimmers of opportunity. When you encounter rudeness and irritation, generously offer polite doses of confident patience. When you bump up against arrogance, dilute the negativity with your own sincere, self-assured humility.

Just because everyone is heading in a one direction doesn’t mean you must go that way too. On the contrary, it’s a valuable opportunity for you to step aside and figure out where you truly want to go.

7. Fighting for Your Dreams
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

When things don’t go right, it doesn’t mean you have to go wrong along with them. Goals and dreams are kind of like breathing – once you give up, there’s no hope left. Don’t do that to yourself.

It’s always too early to quit. You must continue breathing, even if it’s just a series of short, shallow breaths. Continue putting forth even the smallest efforts to sustain your dreams. Accept the fact that if you fight through the challenges, there is always a chance you might lose, but if you do not fight at all, you have already lost.

8. Deciding to Change
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” –Mark Twain

If you’re not where you want to be right now, take the time to visualize yourself in the place you want to be and take the first step in that direction. You may not be able to change your destination in a day, but you can change your direction right now.

Keep moving along this new path and it will eventually lead you to your destination.

9. Being Present
“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” –George Harrison

Do not wish your moments away. Do not ruin today by focusing on another time and place. There is only now; realize how rich you are in it. It stands to reason that if you learn to live well you will eventually pass on well too, in complete peace. The skills are the same: being present in the moment, and brave, and thankful for all the opportunities you have.

Make your time count. Right now you are creating history – your legacy. Don’t let it slip by without being aware of it. Life works in a strange way: You want something and you work and wait and work and wait, and feel like it’s taking forever to come. Then it happens and it’s over and all you want to do is relive all the great memories you made along the way.

Happiness is the journey. Open your eyes. Don’t miss it.

10. Being Thankful
“Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.” –Walt Whitman

You are right here, right now, breathing. Enjoy it. You’ve got nothing to do today except to smile.

Happiness is valuing what you have, and enjoying the people, places, objects and events in your life for what they are. It’s not about changing and achieving all the time, it’s about being and appreciating. And you can nearly always enjoy the things happening around you if you make up your mind firmly that you will.

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Scimitar
06-10-2015, 03:34 PM
Originally Posted by Signor
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?
did you profile my personality to get this analysis ??? :D

Scimi
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Signor
06-10-2015, 03:48 PM
9 Ways Mentally Strong People Prevent Self-Pity From Sabotaging Their Success

Whether you’ve failed to close a major deal, or you’re overwhelmed by a looming deadline, throwing a pity party won’t help. In fact, feeling sorry for yourself can become downright self-destructive. It makes overcoming adversity difficult – if not impossible – and it keeps you stuck.

Mentally strong people refuse to allow self-pity to sabotage their success. Instead, they use life’s inevitable hardships as a way to grow stronger and become better. Here’s how mentally strong people avoid the self-pity trap:

1. They Face their Feelings
Mentally strong people allow themselves to experience emotions like grief, disappointment, and loneliness head-on. They don’t distract themselves from uncomfortable emotions by questioning whether their problems are fair, or by convincing themselves they’ve suffered more than those around them. They know the best way to deal with discomfort is to just get through it.

2. They Recognize Warning Signs of the Downward Spiral
When you focus on everything that is going wrong in your life, your thoughts become exaggeratedly negative. And those negative thoughts will negatively affect your behavior if you dwell on them. The combination of negative thinking and inactivity fuels further feelings of self-pity. Mentally strong people recognize when they’re at risk of becoming caught in this downward spiral and they take action to prevent themselves from living a pitiful life.

3. They Question Their Perceptions
Our emotional state influences how we perceive reality. When you’re feeling sorry for yourself, you’re likely to focus on the bad things going on in your life, while overlooking the good. Mentally strong people question whether their thoughts represent reality.

They ask themselves questions like, “Is my luck always bad?” or “Is my entire life really ruined?” Asking themselves these types of questions allows them to recognize when their outlook isn’t realistic. This allows them to create a more realistic perception of their situation.

4. They Turn their Negative Thoughts into Behavioral Experiments
Mentally strong people don’t allow their negative thinking to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, when they find themselves thinking things like, “I could never put on a presentation as good as this one,” they respond by saying, “Challenge accepted!” They perform behavioral experiments to prove their negative thinking wrong.

5. They Reserve their Resources for Productive Activities
Every minute you spend hosting your own pity party is 60 seconds you delay working on a solution. Mentally strong people refuse to waste their precious time and energy dwelling on their misery. Instead, they devote their finite resources to productive activities that can improve their situation.

6. They Practice Gratitude
It’s impossible to feel self-pity and gratitude at the same time. While self-pity is about thinking, “I deserve better,” gratitude is about thinking, “I have more than I need.” Mentally strong people recognize all that they have to be grateful for in life – right down to the fresh air to breathe and clean water to drink.

7. They Help Other People
It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re helping those who are less fortunate. Problems like demanding customers or declining sales don’t seem so bad when you’re reminded that there are people who lack food and shelter. Rather than ruminate on their own inconveniences, mentally strong people strive to improve the lives of others.

8. They Refuse to Complain
Venting to other people about the magnitude of your problems fuels feelings of self-pity. Mentally strong people don’t try to gain sympathy from others by complaining about their difficult circumstances. Instead, they either take action to make things better, or they accept the situations that they can’t change.

9. They Maintain an Optimistic Outlook
Some of life’s problems can’t be prevented nor solved. The loss of loved ones, natural disasters, and certain health conditions are problems that most people will face at one time or another. Mentally strong people keep an optimistic outlook about their ability to handle whatever life throws their way.

Build Mental Strength
Developing mental strength is similar to building physical strength. If you wanted to become physically strong you’d need good habits – like lifting weights. But you’d also need to get rid of bad habits, like eating too many sweets. Developing mental strength requires good habits – and it also requires you to give up destructive habits, like self-pity.

Everyone has the ability to build mental strength. By developing an increased ability to regulate your thoughts, manage your emotions and behave productively despite your circumstances, you’ll grow stronger and become better.

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Layth
06-10-2015, 07:15 PM
Great thread, if read from the start. Hope Smallkid reads it...
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BeTheChange
06-11-2015, 01:16 PM
We all need nuggets of inspiration (Islamic Inspirational Quotes) to keep us going and what better place to reach for this inspiration than Islam? While the well of knowledge in Islam is infinite, here we’ve collected some of the inspirational words that we love at our Productive Muslim virtual headquarters. Some of these treasures are from the Noble Qur’an, sayings of our beloved Prophet , supplications, and from our modern Islamic scholars, philosophers, poets and artists. Enjoy and more importantly, be inspired!

Islam and Productivity


1.) “I asked Allah’s Messenger which deed was best.” He (the Holy Prophet) replied: “The prayer at its appointed hour”. [Sahih Muslim]


2.) “If you want to focus more on Allah in your prayers, focus more on Him outside your prayers.” Yasmin Moga



3.) The Prophet used to seek refuge in Allah from laziness that he used to mention it daily in this dua: “O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.” [Sahih Bukhari]


4.) The Prophet said, “By Him in Whose Hand my life is, it is better for anyone of you to take a rope and cut the wood (from the forest) and carry it over his back and sell it (as a means of earning his living) rather than to ask a person for something and that person may give him or not.” [Sahih Bukhari]


5.) One of the greatest pieces of advice given by the Prophet was: “The most beloved actions to Allah are those performed consistently, even if they are few.” [Sahih Bukhari]


6.) “And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” [Qur’an, 65: 2-3]


Get Motivated


7.) “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” [Qur’an, 13:11]


8.) “After asking Allah to guide you to the straight path, don’t just stand there … start walking!” – Albaz Poetry


9.) “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi


10.) “The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.” Via Islamic Thoughts


11.) “Allah knows exactly what to give you to help you return to Him. The events in your life are purposeful, appropriate & non-random.” – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf


12.) “My sin burdened me heavily. But when I measured it against Your Grace, O Lord, Your forgiveness came out greater.” – Imam Shafii


13.) (Ibn al-Jawzi) To achieve any objective, we need two things:



  1. Nobel himma (motivation) – will overcome the obstruction
  2. Right strategy.

14.) “O my Lord! Open for me my chest (grant me self-confidence, contentment, and boldness).” [Qur’an, 20:25]


15.) “And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing.” [Qur’an, 41:36]


16.) “And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” [Qur’an, 65: 2-3]


17.) “Strange are the matters of believers. For him there is good in all his affairs, and this is so only for the believer. When something pleasing happens to him, he is grateful (shukr), and that is good for him; and when something displeasing happens to him he is enduring patience (sabr) and that is good for him.” [Sahih Muslim]


Feel Better


18.) Abu Yahya Suhaib b. Sinan said that the Prophet said: “No man fills a container worse than his stomach. A few morsels that keep his back upright are sufficient for him. If he has to, then he should keep one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for breathing.” [At-Tirmidhi]


19.) Anas reported that the Prophet said, “It a Muslim plants a tree or sows seeds, and then a bird, or a person or an animal eats from it, it is regarded as a charitable gift (sadaqah) for him.” [Sahih Bukhari]


Work Better


20.) “There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) health and free time for doing good.” [Sahih Bukhari]


21.) The Prophet said:


“Take benefit of five before five:
Your youth before your old age,
Your health before your sickness,
Your wealth before your poverty,
Your free-time before your preoccupation and
Your life before your death.”
[Mustadrak Al-Haakim]


22.) “If you are grateful, I shall certainly give you increase” [Qur’an, 14:7]


23.) “Actions are by their intentions” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]


24.) “Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah.” [Qur’an, 3:159]


Help Others


25.) “None of you truly believes (in Allah and His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]


26.) “Meet the people in such a manner that if you die, they should weep for you, and if you live, they should long for you.” – Ali Ibn Abi Talib


27.) “If Allah puts anyone in the position of authority over the Muslims’ affairs and he secludes himself (from them), not fulfilling their needs, wants, and poverty, Allah will keep Himself away from him, not fulfilling his need, want, and poverty.” [Abu Dawud]


28.) The Prophet said, “If anyone fulfills his brother’s needs, Allah will fulfill his needs; if one relieves a Muslim of his troubles, Allah will relieve his troubles on the Day of Resurrection.” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]


29.) Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Prophet said, “The believer is not he who eats his fill while his neighbor is hungry.” (Authenticated by Al-Albani, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad Al-Bukhari, Hadith 112)


30.) The Prophet said: “It is also charity to utter a good word.” [Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]

SOURCE: http://productivemuslim.com/30-islamic-inspirational-quotes/
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Signor
07-03-2015, 04:14 PM
‘PACES’: A Guide to Being A Happier Muslim

The first thing that will come to your mind after reading the headline is: “What is “PACES”? Well, before I share what each letter stands for, let us first define “happiness”, discuss what being a happier Muslim involves and also explain the importance of the word “PACES”.

First off, happiness could be defined as “contentment, inner peace, and inner strength.” From my personal experience as well as my education as a counselor, I believe that the real source of our happiness is having a positive relationship with Allah . I also believe that a secondary source of happiness is our ability to use coping skills to cope with life’s difficulties.

Example: You wake up for Fajr prayer and you are really tired, but you get up because you know it’s your duty as a Muslim. Though nobody is there to see you except Allah and the angels, you still have that faith in your heart and you are praying to Allah just for His sake, and not to be seen by others. This is where your real happiness comes from.

Now, becoming a happier Muslim means that you learn to recognize your negative feelings and then find ways to shift those negative feelings back to inner peace. When you can train yourself to return to inner peace, you are on your way to experiencing higher levels of happiness.

Example: When someone says something that bothers me or hurts my feelings, I have trained myself to pause, act like I am thinking about what they have just said (when I am actually calming down and returning to inner peace), and then I decide how to respond (such as by saying, “I will need some time to think about that.”)

Explore “PACES”

The word “PACES” is important because it means “single steps.” We must take “single steps” in order to reach any goal, especially the goal of being a happier Muslim. “PACES” is also a verb that means “to walk back and forth.” This is important because your journey to being a happier Muslim will go back and forth. You will feel like you have improved yourself (progressed), and then you will feel like you have regressed or moved backwards. This is totally normal. Going back and forth is part of the journey to becoming the best ‘YOU’ possible. The phrase “pace yourself” is also important. “Pace yourself” means to slow down and to accomplish your goals in steps.

What “P” Stands For

The “P” in “PACES” stands for: 1. Praying, 2. Patience, 3. Problem-Solving, and 4. Positivity.

1. Pray Calling on Allah , asking Him for what you want, is a form of worship. In the verses and hadith quoted below, for example, Allah urges us to call on Him. What a relief and honor it is to hear our Lord encourage us to call on Him. This shows His care and love for us.

“And your Lord said, “Call on Me, I will respond to you.” [Qur’an: Chapter 40, Verse 60]

“It is You we worship, and You we ask for help.”
[Qur’an: Chapter 1, Verse 5] “And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].” [Quran: Chapter 2, Verse 45]

Abu Huraira narrated that Allah’s Messenger said: “When it is the last third of the night, our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, descends every night to the heaven of the world and says, ‘Is there anyone who invokes Me (demand anything from Me), that I may respond to his invocation; Is there anyone who asks Me for something that I may give (it to) him; Is there anyone who asks My forgiveness that I may forgive him?’” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

Action Tip:
If you are ever feeling unhappy or facing any problem, please do the obvious thing that we often forget to do! Make dua to Allah ! Admit that only He can truly help you! This article has a lot of ideas, but in the end, none of these ideas will be of help unless Allah allows them to help you!

2. Be Patient “…and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.” [Qur’an: Chapter 31, Verse 17]

Be patient when life is not perfect. Be patient with yourself when you are in a bad mood or you’ve made a mistake. Be patient with your negative feelings, accept that they are there, and patiently find ways to move past them at your own pace.

Action Tip: Pay attention to when you are starting to feel impatient or angry about a situation. Then tell yourself to be patient, for the sake of Allah .

3. Problem-Solve “…and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].” [Qur’an: Chapter 3, Verse 159]

Focus on finding solutions to your problems instead of just focusing on your problems. Consulting other people is a great way to generate ideas.

Action Tip: The next time you are facing a problem that is affecting your inner peace, start brainstorming possible solutions/ideas. Perhaps write them down and consult with others.

4. Be Positive
Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him.” [Muslim]

Train yourself to focus on the positive in every situation. Everything is good for the believer.

Example: You are a teacher working with a difficult student. Look for positive aspects/resources. Perhaps the student’s parents are willing to do whatever they can to help. Perhaps the student likes certain subjects and behaves better when learning those subjects. Perhaps the student has a classmate who works well with the student. Use these resources! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

What “A” Stands For
The “A” stands for: 1. Appreciate and 2. Accept.

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor].” [Qur’an: Chapter 14, Verse 7]

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: “Whoever is not grateful to the people, he is not grateful to Allah.” [Jami` at-Tirmidhi]

Focus on what you appreciate in life and in others. Appreciate as much as possible. Express this appreciation to Allah and to people you appreciate. When you are feeling down, shift your energy and focus to what you genuinely appreciate in your life.

Action Tip: Every night, think of at least three things that you are feeling grateful to Allah for. It could be things specific to that day or general things, but it should be GENUINE. One thing that I am always grateful for is the health of my children. It could be anything that you really feel. (I originally read this simple activity in the book “Happy for No Reason” by Marcy Shimoff). Gratitude is an incredible way to feel connected with Allah because you know that He gave you those things. Remember, all help is from Allah . Every good thing you have is from Allah .

“So be patient with gracious patience.” [Qur’an: Chapter 70, Verse 5]

Accept that life is challenging and that it is normal to face hardships and to feel down sometimes. To accept does not mean to approve, it means to understand that we are only human, we are not perfect, and that this world is not always easy.

What “C” Stands For
The “C” stands for: Coping and being Calm. Cope and Be Calm

“Surely Allah does not change the conditions that a people are in until they change that which is within themselves.”
[Qur’an: Chapter 13, Verse 11]

Find ways to cope with stress. Find ways that help you to remain calm. The calm that I am referring to is a strong sense of inner peace. Examples of coping ideas are: writing, visiting a neighbor, playing sports, taking deep breaths, drinking a glass of water, reading inspirational quotes or poetry, talking to a caring person, sipping hot tea, etc.

Action Tip:
Write a list of coping activities that help you cope with stress. Train yourself to use these ideas the next time you are feeling stressed.

What “E” Stands For
The “E” stands for: Exercise.

Exercise is an excellent way to cope with stress. Exercise is not an option but a must in order to have good health. Daily exercise is best. Exercise releases chemicals called endorphins that actually cause you to feel happier.

Action Tip: Schedule time each day for exercise. Find an “exercise buddy” if you can.

What “S” Stands For

The “S” stands for: Self-Strength, Self-Awareness and Self-Study

Trust yourself. Value yourself. Know yourself. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to know everything, but you have positive qualities and strengths. Use them! Develop your self-confidence by learning from your life’s experiences—both the good and the bad.

Action Tip: Write a list of your personal strengths and review them regularly.

Self-awareness means that you remember yourself in all situations. It means that you become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
This is extremely important, because many counseling experts believe that your thoughts cause your feelings, and your feelings cause your actions. Be aware of your inner feelings and learn to control them. If you can learn to control your feelings, then this skill will lead to better actions that lead to a happier life.

Also, learn to put your happiness first (without contradicting the teachings of Islam, of course). Putting your happiness first means that you make decisions that promote your happiness, rather than living life passively. Don’t “lose yourself” in the outer world, in other people’s problems, or in things that bother you. If you have a negative feeling, accept that feeling, be patient with yourself, and find ways to get over that hurdle. Sometimes if you just say out loud, “I feel angry (sad, hurt, etc.),” that can take the power of out of your negative feeling, and then you can resolve the situation more effectively.

Action Tip: Fully acknowledge and state your negative feelings to yourself. This will help you face them more honestly and to overcome them more effectively.

Self-study means that you need to observe yourself and discover methods that bring you happiness. Observe what foods make you feel happy, what habits promote your happiness, etc. Understand that you know yourself better than other people know you; therefore, other people may not understand your choices, because they are not you! Do what is right for you, as long as it is not displeasing to Allah .

Action Tip:
Keep a journal of foods, people, activities and other things that promote your happiness.

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Signor
08-10-2015, 06:22 PM
10 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late

Before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?” So take time to figure yourself out. Take time to realize what you want and need. Take time to take risks. Take time to love, laugh, cry, learn, and forgive. Life is shorter than it often seems.

Here are ten things you need to know, before it’s too late:

This moment is your life. – Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death. Your life is between now and your next breath. The present – the here and now – is all the life you ever get. So live each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear and regret. And do the best you can with what you have in this moment; because that is all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself.

A lifetime isn’t very long. – This is your life, and you’ve got to fight for it. Fight for what’s right. Fight for what you believe in. Fight for what’s important to you. Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you. Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance. So stop for a moment and think. Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today. There are only so many tomorrows.

The sacrifices you make today will pay dividends in the future. – When it comes to working hard to achieve a dream – earning a degree, building a business, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment – one thing you have to ask yourself is: “Am I willing to live a few years of my life like many people won’t, so I can spend the rest of my life like many people can’t?”

When you procrastinate, you become a slave to yesterday. – But when you are proactive, it’s as if yesterday is a kind friend that helps take a load off your back. So do something right now that your future self will thank you for. Trust me, tomorrow you’ll be happy you started today.

Failures are only lessons. – Good things come to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve tasted failure, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt. So never regret anything that has happened in your life; it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten. Take it all as lessons learned and move on with grace.

You are your most important relationship. – Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without feeling the need for anyone else’s approval. You must first have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with others. You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes, so that you’ll be able to look confidently into the eyes of the people around you and connect with them.

A person’s actions speak the truth. – You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times; but in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. So pay attention to what people do. Their actions will tell you everything you need to know.

Small acts of kindness can make the world a better place. – Smile at people who look like they are having a rough day. Be kind to them. Kindness is the only investment that never fails. And wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness. Learn to give, even if it’s just a smile, not because you have too much, but because you understand there are so many others who feel like they have nothing at all.

Behind every beautiful life, there has been some kind of pain. – You trip and you fall, you make mistakes and you fail, but you stand strong through it all – you live and you learn. You’re human, not perfect. You been wounded, not defeated. Think of what a priceless gift it is to grow through these experiences – to breathe, to think, to struggle, and to overcome challenges in the pursuit of the things you love. Yes, sometimes you will encounter heartache along the way, but that’s a small price to pay for immeasurable moments of love and joy. Which is why you must keep stepping forward even when it hurts, because you know the inner strength that has carried you this far can carry you the rest of the way.

Time and experience heals pain. – Several years ago when I asked my grandmother about overcoming pain, this is how she explained it to me: Look at the circles below. The black circles represent our relative life experiences. Mine is larger because I am older and have experienced more in my lifetime. The smaller red circles represent a negative event in our lives. Assume we both experienced the same exact event, whatever the nature. Notice that the negative event circles are the same size for each of us; but also notice what percentage of the area they occupy in each of the black circles. Your negative event seems much larger to you because it is a greater percentage of your total life experiences. I am not diminishing the importance of this event; I simply have a different perspective on it. What you need to understand is that an overwhelmingly painful event in your life right now will one day be part of your much larger past and not nearly as significant as it seems.

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