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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 04:21 PM
I am sick of seeing these disgusting magazines right in front of my nose whenever I go to the supermarket. They say they aren't pornographic, but as far as I'm concerned if they're meant for arousing sexual desire then they are the same. Also, the women in them are all disgraceful *****s, just like in porn. What is your opinions of them? Is there anything I can do to try and get them off the shelves of my local supermarket? I thinks its disgusting that they are in plain site for kids to see. :raging:
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observer
01-21-2014, 05:31 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
I am sick of seeing these disgusting magazines right in front of my nose whenever I go to the supermarket. They say they aren't pornographic, but as far as I'm concerned if they're meant for arousing sexual desire then they are the same. Also, the women in them are all disgraceful *****s, just like in porn. What is your opinions of them? Is there anything I can do to try and get them off the shelves of my local supermarket? I thinks its disgusting that they are in plain site for kids to see. :raging:

Join these guys maybe - http://nomorepage3.org/ - they seem to be making headway. Based around the Sun newspaper but they have broadened out. Write to your local MP to complain. There is already a pretty strong campaign to reclassify these mags.

I don't agree with your assessment of the women in them, I don't see that insults and being offensive is useful at all here.
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Jedi_Mindset
01-21-2014, 05:34 PM
You can't do much about it aside from lowering your gaze and not looking at them, i doubt talking to the staff of the supermarket will help especially when it is from a big branch. We live in a non-muslim country bro, and i dont think they will change much of their policies according to what we want. Famous magazines are made by big companies/media and ofcourse they want profit. The easiest way is to sell them in a supermarket and yes their intent is to sexually arouse you and to make you buy it.
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 05:42 PM
Originally Posted by observer
I don't agree with your assessment of the women in them, I don't see that insults and being offensive is useful at all here.
I'm not insulting them I am stating the facts. Those women serve themselves up as objects for men to masturbate over. As far as I am concerned that is no different to being a prostitute. The have no spiritual worth, and have a negative effect on society. They are worse than worthless.
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glo
01-21-2014, 05:59 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
They are worse than worthless
That's an outrageously judgmental comment, if you don't mind me saying so.
Who are you to assume you know who these women are and why they do what they do? Have you seen their lives and situations and troubles?

Do you know how many women are forced to resort to prostitution as a means for providing for their family?
Do you think they all do it "for the kicks"?? :heated:
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ardianto
01-21-2014, 06:20 PM
Late of 90's I saw a tabloid with cover a young woman wore bikini. Her initials is EA. Now I still see EA in magazines, but with different appearance. She wear hijab, and active as speaker in Muslimah events.

So, rather than judge those women as worse than worthless, it's better if we make du'a, wish Allah make them be better women in the future.

:)
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Scimitar
01-21-2014, 06:21 PM
it would help if the OP started off by making a few dozen posts in other "regular" threads so we can get to know him a little better. But starting off like this, in your first few posts is gonna get the wrong reactions out of members here.

You know, just because this is a forum, we should not forget there are real people sitting behind screens. Everyone has walked separate paths - we all come from all walks of life, and we all have a chance to make right. Even those women in the magazines, even prostitutes... as for prostitution, since the OP bought this up, I'd like for him to get educated on the subject before he starts a rant here again.

Now I miss bro Pyrrhic, bigtime... anyway, he made this series, I believe he had you in mind when he did:

series playlist:
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL34F8A3C93CF9133E <playlist

part 5:


it's not as clear as black and white brother, this series shows you that the prostitute is always the victim - rarely is she the victor. They do not choose to do this, they end up "there" because they had no choices left for them. There are many levels of desperation in this world, and many dark avenues which present themselves as the only option available, and to someone who doesn't know any better - what choice is left?

If you really want to help, then stop the accusations, and the chauvinistic attitude - and get real about it.

Scimi
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 06:46 PM
Originally Posted by glo
That's an outrageously judgmental comment, if you don't mind me saying so.
Who are you to assume you know who these women are and why they do what they do? Have you seen their lives and situations and troubles?

Do you know how many women are forced to resort to prostitution as a means for providing for their family?
Do you think they all do it "for the kicks"?? :heated:
True, you're right I shouldn't have compared them to prostitutes. Prostitutes, as you say, may have been forced into the work. These models are worse than that. They actually desire to do what they do and enjoy it. How can you defend them? They are completely haram. As for adianto's response: that maybe so, but its extremely unlikely that any of these women will go on to find Alllah. Most of them will go straight into the blazing fire.

If it was your daughter modelling for these magazines, would you really still consider her your daughter? I would not let one of these women step foot in my house, and if a sister or daughter became one I would never speak to them again.
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 06:59 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar

it's not as clear as black and white brother, this series shows you that the prostitute is always the victim - rarely is she the victor. They do not choose to do this, they end up "there" because they had no choices left for them. There are many levels of desperation in this world, and many dark avenues which present themselves as the only option available, and to someone who doesn't know any better - what choice is left?

If you really want to help, then stop the accusations, and the chauvinistic attitude - and get real about it.

Scimi
If you believe that the models in lads magazines are 'victims' who did not choose their profession you are extremely out of touch. These women may have worked hard to get where they are. They are not comparable to women in pornography or prostitution in that sense. They want men to ogle them and they enjoy it and make a lot of money out of it. Some of them even achieve fame and go on to be on TV or films.

Qu'ran 4:34 "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great."
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glo
01-21-2014, 07:20 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
True, you're right I shouldn't have compared them to prostitutes. Prostitutes, as you say, may have been forced into the work.
Yes, I agree that on the whole the two are quite different.

They actually desire to do what they do and enjoy it.
How do you know what drives women into such professions? How many do you know? Do you know any?

Its like saying "all Muslims are terrorists" and "all Jews are Zionists" and "all men are sexual predators" and "all Americans are anti-Islam".
Stereotypes like that never help and actually prevent us from getting to know each other and understand each other better.

If it was your daughter modelling for these magazines, would you really still consider her your daughter? I would not let one of these women step foot in my house, and if a sister or daughter became one I would never speak to them again.
That's sad.
If my daughter became a stripper or a model, I would be very upset and worried about her. But I cannot think of anything my children could do that would stop me looking at them as my children and loving them.

Sometimes I think what this world needs a bit more of is COMPASSION.

As for these magazines, I don't think you are responsible for what these women do. You are responsible for your own actions only.
Look away, walk away, do whatever you have to do.

But it might help to think about those women as fellow human beings rather than subhumans. They are somebody's daughter, mother, sister, friend ...
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 09:04 PM
Originally Posted by glo
How do you know what drives women into such professions? How many do you know? Do you know any?
.
How do I know? I don't. But I can be pretty certain. Women don't get forced into being in lads mags, they are mainstream. They aren't easy to get into. Its not like anyone decides to be in one because they have no other option. The women in them have aspired to be in them. Many women do. Look at Jordan... do you think she didn't want to be in those magazines, posing as Allah himself designed her and with nothing to conceal his sacred design, for men to simply leer at? Look up an interview with one of these women. I can't post links yet but I just found a video interview now with some girl named 'Rosie Jones'. Look her up on youtube, she's the only one I could find who does an interview where she is clothed. Do you think she seems like a respectable, modest girl? She clearly is happy with herself and her disgraceful choices.
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Muezzin
01-21-2014, 09:16 PM
Originally Posted by jedi_mindset
You can't do much about it aside from lowering your gaze and not looking at them, i doubt talking to the staff of the supermarket will help especially when it is from a big branch. We live in a non-muslim country bro, and i dont think they will change much of their policies according to what we want. Famous magazines are made by big companies/media and ofcourse they want profit. The easiest way is to sell them in a supermarket and yes their intent is to sexually arouse you and to make you buy it.
True.

Originally Posted by observer
Join these guys maybe - http://nomorepage3.org/ - they seem to be making headway. Based around the Sun newspaper but they have broadened out. Write to your local MP to complain. There is already a pretty strong campaign to reclassify these mags.
Sensible.

Originally Posted by SunniLife
I can't post links yet but I just found a video interview now with some girl named 'Rosie Jones'. Look her up on youtube, she's the only one I could find who does an interview where she is clothed. Do you think she seems like a respectable, modest girl? She clearly is happy with herself and her disgraceful choices.
I'm making 70 excuses for why you just said you're looking up interviews with models on YouTube.
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 09:24 PM
Originally Posted by Muezzin


I'm making 70 excuses for why you just said you're looking up interviews with models on YouTube.
Because I wanted to prove people wrong and show that these women are very happy about the lives they live. It didn't take me long to find an interview. This was the first one that came up: /watch?v=hlNne1RTv4o (put it at the end of youtube.com).

Does she really seem like she's been forced into being a model? Does she seem ashamed with herself? No, she seems perfectly happy and content. I very much doubt she will stop what she's doing or ever feel regret about it. She is a disgraceful person.
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Muezzin
01-21-2014, 09:29 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
Because I wanted to prove people wrong and show that these women are very happy about the lives they live. It didn't take me long to find an interview. This was the first one that came up: /watch?v=hlNne1RTv4o (put it at the end of youtube.com).

Does she really seem like she's been forced into being a model? Does she seem ashamed with herself? No, she seems perfectly happy and content. I very much doubt she will stop what she's doing or ever feel regret about it. She is a disgraceful person.
I'd say it's a symptom of the larger problem of the sexualisation of women in the Western world.
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 09:34 PM
Originally Posted by Muezzin
I'd say it's a symptom of the larger problem of the sexualisation of women in the Western world.
A symptom of a larger problem? It's not a symptom, it is part of the problem. If there weren't women who aspired to be nothing more than masturbation material for perverts, then there would not be such a problem. You would just be left with the women who went into business out of necessity.
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Zafran
01-21-2014, 10:18 PM
salaam

I don't believe the women that do this type of work do it by choice - Its the social and economic environment that usually pushes women to pursue that line of work. You should not judge people so harshly.

peace.
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 10:23 PM
I posted in the 'general' forum about my dislike of 'lads mags' and my disdain for the women in them. I think what they do is disgusting and I think they are disgusting people who could not be much more haram. But I have received many responses that support these women and say that that I am wrong for feeling this way. Am I?

I can understand that in pornographic magazines the women in them may have gone into them because of necessity, for desperate need of money or whatever, but the women in the likes of Nuts and FHM are usually in them because they aspired to be and worked hard to be. What's worse is they often seem happy about themselves and what they do, despite the fact they do nothing more than exploit their bodies for men to leer at and masturbate over.

So I am looking for advice. Am I wrong to see these women with disdain? There are many passages in the Quran and Hadith that would suggest these women are evil and should be punished.
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observer
01-21-2014, 10:49 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
deleted post
You know, probably not everybody in any society is going to have exactly the same mindset as you. Can you not live and let live? I don't agree with people dedicating themselves to religion but you know what - if they're happy, who am I to argue? They're not hurting me.

Now, reclassifying lads' mags as pornography I think is a fair point. At the moment the material is available to be seen by minors.

But if someone chooses to work in pornography (an adult industry) then so what? Do I like it? No. Would I want my daughter doing it? No. But hey, who are you to judge?
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observer
01-21-2014, 11:06 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
Why are you on this site if you don't agree with people dedicating themselves to religion?
Because this site is a great resource for people to learn. I joined the site because I started to work with a lot of muslim students and wanted to know a bit more about where they were coming from. This site helped me do that. I don't work with muslims anymore, but it's still a really interesting to site with a lot of interesting discussions that makes me think about things in a different way.

Search for this site on Google and the introduction says "Islamic Forum for the Muslim and non-Muslim community."

If it were muslim only, I wouldn't post.
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 11:11 PM
In the end though I am looking for answers from Muslims.
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observer
01-21-2014, 11:15 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
In the end though I am looking for answers from Muslims.
Maybe you should make that clear in the post.
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SunniLife
01-21-2014, 11:26 PM
Originally Posted by observer
Maybe you should make that clear in the post.
Ok, well now that it is clear, can we not get bad to the subject? According to the Hadith and the Qu'ran, women should be modest and cover up. They definitely should not be flaunting themselves in magazines. If they're forced into it, fair enough, but if they enjoy it then that is completely haram.
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observer
01-22-2014, 12:23 AM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
deleted post
Every muslim I've ever met has been extremely proud of the character of the prophet Mohammed. When you say he would take women and do with them as he pleased, that sounds like no description of him that I've ever heard. He has always been described to me as honest and just: what you suggest sounds like neither of those things.
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ardianto
01-22-2014, 12:51 AM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
In the end though I am looking for answers from Muslims.
See my post in page 1
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Scimitar
01-22-2014, 03:18 AM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
If you believe that the models in lads magazines are 'victims' who did not choose their profession you are extremely out of touch. These women may have worked hard to get where they are. They are not comparable to women in pornography or prostitution in that sense. They want men to ogle them and they enjoy it and make a lot of money out of it. Some of them even achieve fame and go on to be on TV or films.

Qu'ran 4:34 "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great."
Where did I say those who pose on page 3 are forced? I spoke of prostitution, please make this the last time you put words in my mouth. It's akin to slandering ones intended word. Get it? As for prostitution, you was the one who bought that up here in your first post:

Originally Posted by SunniLife
They say they aren't pornographic, but as far as I'm concerned if they're meant for arousing sexual desire then they are the same
Way I see it, you are the one who is finding it hard drawing the line between the two, either that or you are a chauvinistic male and I say this because you highlighted and italicised the words beat them in your post - clearly you don't even understand the context of what "beat them" refers to. You do realise the ayah is explained in further ahadeeth don't you? and they refer to the husband admonishing the wife with a (get this) tooth brush, a miswak - sewak, I'm giggling my chin hairs off here... you do understand that for a man to do this, he'd look like a complete ---, and not even hurt the wife? Do you understand the deeper lesson in the ayaat you quoted? That beating them is more damaging to the husbands rep from his wife - than the damage done to the wife thru a "toothbrush" beating... the deeper lesson promotes a mutual respect for each other - those who understand the Quran, do not pick and choose words out of ayaat to help fit their warped world view - they look at the ayaat in context, all which pertain - and the ponder over them, reflect over them, consider their meaning, their deeper lesson - I hope you understand.

One more time, do not take my words out of context again, nor the Quran's, thank you.

As for the ayaat you quoted, trying to justify the beating - here is a better translation. Note, the word "finally" in brackets:

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.

here are some others:

Men are guardians over women because Allah has made some of them excel others, and because they (men) spend of their wealth. So virtuous women are those who are obedient, and guard the secrets of their husbands with Allah’s protection. And as for those on whose part you fear disobedience, admonish them and leave them alone in their beds, and chastise them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Surely, Allah is High, Great.



- as translated by Ahmadiyya Muslim Jamath, see verse at alislam
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.[14]



- as translated in Sahih International, at Quran.com
Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband). As for those (women) on whose part you fear ill-will and nasty conduct, admonish them (first), (next) leave them alone in beds (and last) beat or separate them (from you). But if they obey you, then seek nothing against them. Behold, God is most high and great.[15]



- Translation by Ahmad Shafaat
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.[16]



- Translation by Muhsin Khan
Men are guardians of women, because Allah has made one superior to the other, and (also) because men spend their wealth (on them). So the pious wives are obedient. They guard (their chastity) in the absence of their husbands with the protection of Allah. But those women whom you fear will disobey and defy, admonish them; and (if they do not amend) separate them (from yourselves) in beds; and (if they still do not improve) turn away from them, striking a temporary parting. Then if they become cooperative with you, do not seek any way against them. Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great.[17]



- Translation by Muhammad Tahir-ul-Qadri
Men are in charge of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah has guarded. As for those from whom you fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great.[18]





Now I'd ask you to go and look up the exegete on this ayaat, and then come back and try to make the same case! Even wiki is a start lol, surprised you didn't do your homework... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An-Nisa,_34

Scimi
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Zafran
01-22-2014, 03:30 AM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
If they weren't Muslim he would likely have taken them and kept them to do as he pleased with them.
salaam

are you serious??? because if you are then that's absurd.
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ardianto
01-22-2014, 04:44 AM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
If it was your daughter modelling for these magazines, would you really still consider her your daughter? I would not let one of these women step foot in my house, and if a sister or daughter became one I would never speak to them again.
I have two sons, and no daughter. But if I had daughter and she became a sexy model, I would still talk with her, and slowly I would try to guide her back to the right path. If I cut my family ties with her, then she would lost farther and farther. It would make her hard to back to the right path.

Yes, those sexy models are women. But who are people behind her? the photograper, photo director, lighting boy, etc? they are men!

Those women become sexy models because they want to have money. And who offer the money? Men!.

Don't blame only the women, but blame the men too. Don't you know what the men do to the women outside there?. Men are lucky, they can have sex with women and then go, disappear. But the women if they were pregnant because this?.

Men can have sex many times before getting married and their wives will not know it.

Yes, men are lucky!
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glo
01-22-2014, 07:13 AM
Great post, ardianto. As always
I love your comments about being a father and loving your children, no matter what. And not pushing your children away, even if they do wrong. :statisfie

As for the comments about the men behind the industry, I was thinking the same thing.

It is easy to blame the women who take their clothes off and pose.
But what about the people behind the scenes who pay them?
But even those people wouldn't do what they do if it wasn't such a lucrative job ... so the real blame lies with the people (predominantly men) who buy the magazines, watch the films and youtube clips and spend the money which keeps the industry alive and thriving!
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Signor
01-22-2014, 12:53 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
Qu'ran 4:34 "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great."
Despite of the fact you quoted an ayah outside context of topic discussed,you also made a huge blunder by not reading it.Its starts with "Men are the maintainers of women",Don't you think Males of Women posing in magazines are responsible?

Originally Posted by SunniLife
If it was your daughter modelling for these magazines, would you really still consider her your daughter?
I feel its inappropriate questioning with opposite gender while pointing out fingers towards corruption in society.There are many methods of doing things in a nice way.

Originally Posted by SunniLife
I would not let one of these women step foot in my house, and if a sister or daughter became one I would never speak to them again
Originally Posted by SunniLife
Islam does not teach us to respect those who are evil. I am only disrespecting those who are drawn by the devil,and moreover they are not reading this so I am not disrespecting them directly. I have shown no disrespect to you or anyone else on the forum. I think you should respect Islam though seeing as this is an Islamic forum. I would not go onto an atheist forum and show disrespect to them.
Muslims’ hatred of non-Muslims is nothing but a great misunderstanding of the spirit of Islam and who Muslims are. As a basic principle of Islam, we, Muslims, do not hate anyone on account of their cultural, religious, or ethnic backgrounds. Islam teaches us to interact with all people and wish good for the whole mankind.However, Muslims hate Kufr, or disbelief in Allah, the Almighty. Since we love all people, we hate their disobedience of Allah, the Most High. So, even when people deny the existence of Allah we do not hate them personally; however, we hate their disbelief and disobedience of Allah, Exalted be He. This case is very similar to that of a doctor and a patient. The doctor does not hate the patient or the sick person himself or herself, rather he or she hates the disease and tries every possible means to cure the disease and help the patient to recover. We Muslims hate disbelief and disobedience of Allah and we are striving and sparing no effort to do away with this disease and cure people’s sickness and help them become obedient servants of Allah (God).

If someone is a faasiq (open sinner) but still a Muslim, do we hate him or just hate the sins that he does?As for this, first, just like Iman increases and decreases, love too increases and decreases. You know this since even natural love increases and decreases,your love for your mother is not the same as your love for your aunt.Your love for your neighbor is not the same as your love for my neighbor,etc.Similarly, your love for a Muslim who has perfected his Islam would be greater than your love for a Muslim whose Faith is reduced by his sins.You hate him for his sins in proportion to that sin, and you love him in proportion to his tawhid of Allah, and obedience of Allah. And the heart is capable of that. The heart of the believer is capable of loving and hating. You love him for Allah because he is a Muslim, and you hate him for Allah because of his sins that he showed, and if he repents and returns to Allah you should return from hating him to loving him. So you love him for Allah and he is your believing brother, but if he insists on his sin and does not repent then your heart should be capable of a proportional hatred.

Originally Posted by SunniLife
Muhammad (peace be upon him) knew that women should obey men, as that is what Allah desires. Maybe you should do your homework.
Very Wrong,He(SAAWS) wants them to obey Allah,pleasing husbands only falls in this category.

Originally Posted by SunniLife
If they weren't Muslim he would likely have taken them and kept them to do as he pleased with them.
Originally Posted by SunniLife
Muhammad kept many women for his pleasure. Many of them were Christians which he captured.
Islâm as the perfect religion is both rational and practical. The Prophet’s plural marriages, which exceeded the maximum number allowed for men is an exception to the Qur’ânic injunction (i.e., 4:3) to show all possible types of marriages in Islâm. If he was “sexually obsessed man” he would have married more in his early manhood, not after he had passed the age of fifty. The fact that he married Khadijah bint Khuwailid (may Allah be pleased with her) and lived a monogamous life for twenty-seven years till Khadijah died, showed that he (PBUH) was not “sexually obsessed man”. But his marriage to Khadijah shows only limited types of marriage that are allowed in Islâm. That is, it is permissible for a man to marry a woman who is older than him, for a poor and orphan man to marry a wealthy woman, for an employee to marry his employer, and for a bachelor man to marry a widow.She had a key role in the life of Islam which was in the beginning of its growth at that time.She was a financial supporter(she is the first one to support Muslims economically) as well as a spiritual supporter(When the Prophet Muhammad (SAAWS) commenced his mission of Islam, there was a storm of opposition against him. He was attacked spiritually (he was called insane, magician soothsayer, relations were severed by near ones etc) and physically (economic boycott, stone-pelting, etc). At such a crucial juncture, she supported him and soothed him with her affection, which in turn energized him to face the opposition. If she had not created a favorable environment inside the house and God forbid, He (SAAWS) also had to face opposition from within the family, it would have severely impaired his efforts to spread the message of Islam).

If Allâh the Most Merciful did not allow the Prophet (PBUH) to marry other women, how could marriage in Islâm be open to all other types of marriages?

Had the Prophet (PBUH) not married other women, Muslims who follow the Sunnah (Prophet's Traditions, Practices and Teachings) would find it difficult to enter into marriage with the limited examples from the Prophet’s marriage to Khadijah. The Prophet’s plural marriages after his monogamous marriage with Khadijah for so many years show that in Islâm it is allowed for a man to marry virgin woman, who is very much younger than him, as in the case of ‘Aishah bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her). Glory be to Allah, the All-Knowing, the All Wise, through ‘Aishah Muslims and non-Muslims worldwide have learned authentic ahadeeth from the Prophet (PBUH) as she was not only young but also very intelligent. She has memorized and (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated many of the Prophet’s authentic ahadeeth which renowned Muslim scholars like Imam Bukhari, Muslim,Nasai, Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud compiled in their collections of Ahadeeth. This is the very wisdom of the Prophet’s marriage to ‘Aishah. The life of Aisha (Radhiyallahu-Anha) is proof that a woman can be far more learned than men and that she can be the teacher of scholars and experts. Her life is also proof that the same woman can be totally feminine and be a source of pleasure, joy and comfort to her husband. As his wife and close companion she acquired from him knowledge and insight such as no woman has acquired.The bulk of her vast treasure of knowledge was obtained while she was quite young. There are 2210 traditions narrated from her.Aisha's (Radhiyallahu-Anha) students were approximately 200, out of which were: Abu Hurairah, Abu Musa Ashari, Abdullah ibn Abbas and Abdullah ibn Zubair (Radhiyallahu-Anhum).

A man in Islam can choose to marry a young and intelligent woman like ‘Aishah. He can marry his friends’ daughters, in the same way as the Prophet (PBUH) married ‘Aishah and Hafsah, the daughters of his closest friends: Abu Bakar and Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) in order to foster ties of relationships. Or he can marry his enemies’ daughters as the Prophet (PBUH) married: Juwairiyah bint Al-Harith, the daughter of Al Harith, the head of Bani Al-Mustaliq of Khuza’ah and Umm Habibah or Ramlah, the daughter of Abu Sufyan. Note that both Al-Harith and Abu Sufyan were bitter enemies of Islâm. The Prophet’s marriages to their daughters show how Islâm goes for peace and reconciliation.

Knowing that Juwairiah and Ramlah are both from ruling families, man’s marriage to women of high social status is therefore, allowed. Likewise, it is allowed for a man to marry a woman of low social class as in the case of Maria, who was given to the Prophet (PBUH) as a present by the ruler of Egypt. The Prophet (PBUH) elevated her status by marrying her, instead of making her his slave. His marriages to his captives:Juwairiyah Bint Al-Haritha and Saffiyah Bint Huyay bin Akhtab, not only show how Islâm tolerates mix marriages based on social status; but also shows kindness to the captives and the high regard given to women. Instead of making them slaves, being his captives, he married them and gave them the highest status of women being among the “Mothers of the Believers”. It further shows how the Prophet (PBUH) freed or liberated women from the bondage of slavery.

Aside from inter-social and cultural marriages, the Prophet (PBUH)’s plural marriages also demonstrate that Islâm permits inter-religious marriages with the People of the Book (the Jews and the Christians) by marrying Safiyyah bint Huyay bin Akhtab, a Jew and Maria, a Christian from Egypt. Both of them embraced Islâm and became among the “Mothers of the Believers”.

With his marriage to Sawda Bint Zam’a (may Allah be pleased with her), a widower can opt to marry middle-aged, widow, jolly, and kind woman like Sawda who can take care of his children. The Prophet's marriage to Sawda, whose race was black, also proved that in Islam it is allowed for a man to marry a woman belonging to a different race as there is no racism in Islam. Furthermore, the Prophet’s marriages to Hafsah Bint Umar bin Al-Khattab, Zainab bint Khuzaimah and Umm Salamah Hind bint Abi Omaiyah (may Allah be pleased with them), all widows, show that Islam encourages men to show sympathy and care for widows. One way to do this is by marrying them. Had he not married Umm Salamah, a widow with many children, he would not have demonstrated his virtuous teachings on the care of the orphans. He showed kindness to them, treated them just like his real children.

The Prophet’s marriage to his cousin, Zainab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her), who was divorced by his adopted son, Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him), shows that in Islâm, it is lawful for a man to marry his first degree cousin. It is also lawful for a man to marry a woman, divorced by his adopted son, since the adopted son is not related to him by blood.

In addition, Islâm allows the practice of betrothal before entering into marriage as what the Prophet (PBUH) did prior to his marriage to ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her). It also permits marriage in absentia as in the case of his marriage to Umm Habibah or Ramlah (may Allah be pleased with her), the daughter of Abu Sufyan, who was in Abysinnia. The Prophet (PBUH) asked the King of Negus for Umm Habibah’s hand for marriage, which the King granted. This marriage in absentia demonstrates how practical and easy Islam is both as a religion and as a way of life.

Islâm also allows a case where a man marries a woman who presents herself for marriage as in the case of Maymunah (may Allah be pleased with her). Maymunah voluntarily presented herself to the Prophet (PBUH) and became one of his wives.

It is interesting to note that although the Prophet’s wives (may Allah be pleased with them) came from different socio-cultural backgrounds, they shared something in common. They were all virtuous believing women. No wonder they are called the “Mothers of the Believers”. The Prophet’s sunnah(tradition) for choosing virtuous believing women in marriage serves as guidance for believing men.

Above taken with slight modifications from huda.tv

Originally Posted by SunniLife
Please respect Islam, as this is a site centred around it.
Follow your own Rules!
Reply

ardianto
01-22-2014, 02:20 PM
Originally Posted by glo
Great post, ardianto. As always
I love your comments about being a father and loving your children, no matter what. And not pushing your children away, even if they do wrong. :statisfie
If we judge our children as "bad", then they would prefer to walk on the wrong path because they think there's no place for them on the right path, and the only place for them is on the wrong path. But if we can make them understand that they are actually good persons and the right place for them is on the right path, then they would have motivation to back to the right path.

:)
Reply

Muezzin
01-22-2014, 10:16 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
A symptom of a larger problem? It's not a symptom, it is part of the problem. If there weren't women who aspired to be nothing more than masturbation material for perverts, then there would not be such a problem. You would just be left with the women who went into business out of necessity.
Why are women considered er... that sort of 'material for perverts' in the first place? Because they are objectified and sexualised - even from a young age, girls are taught to aspire to become 'beautiful' in order to catch the eye of a man. Such an environment does not foster healthy attitudes among men nor women about the opposite gender. The reason that some women aspire to be nothing more than er.. that sort of material is due in a large part to the environment and culture in which they live.

Not defending anyone. Grown adults are responsible for their own actions. But there it is.
Reply

~Zaria~
01-23-2014, 05:06 AM
:salam:



1. Always hate the sin, never the sinner.

History bears witness to those who committed some of the greatest crimes, but through the mercy of Allah, their hearts found complete reformation.
SubhanAllah, the resting place of Umar bin Khattab (ra) alongside the most beloved to Allah, Muhammad (sallalahu alaihi wasalam), should serve as a constant reminder of this.


2. Allah has blessed each person with different life-courses.
For some, they are born into deeni-inclined homes that are protected from many fitnahs.
For others, they are born into families that not only lack imaan (and may not have received the true message of islam), but they are surrounded by the worst types of vices possible – e.g. parents who are addicted to alcohol and drugs, ‘gay’- couples, families who frequent places that are consumed by every type of sin, and those who may encourage and praise scanty dressing from very young ages.

We should be so grateful to Allah if He has provided us homes that are free from these types of influences.
And if we happen to have been raised in these environments and still find Allah, then too, how great is this blessing?

So, never judge anyone.
We have not walked in their shoes.
Perhaps if we did, we would be finding ourselves in the same position as well.


3. Ponder and weep over your own sins, rather than those of others.

Women should not be exposing themselves in public.....We too, should not be looking again.

Remember: we came into this world alone. We will leave alone. We will be judged for our own actions – completely alone.
We should be concentrating on our relationships with Allah, our good deeds towards the ummah and mankind at large. This will be our determining factor in the Aakhirah.


4. The prevalence of both major and minor sins is from the signs of the times that we are currently living in. We should be in expectation, and in this manner work on our own responses:


a) We learn from the sunnah of the prophet (sallalahu alaihi wasalam) that it is better for a muslim to remain within the safety of his home, and to avoid the market-places as is possible.

How many of us are implementing this ^ sunnah? ...That we visit the malls/ shopping complexes only when there is a genuine need, and that we avoid those places that will affect our imaan by means of its temptations?
Today, the complaint is that it is too ‘boring’ to stay at home.
Yet, little do we realize, that this is what will be better for us and our families – esp during times where fitnahs are prevalent.


b) It is easier to complain, rather than to act.
But what have we done to try to change the world that we live in?
It may appear impossible for one person to make a significant change…..yet how often has this occurred.

A few years ago, ONE man complained to his local advertising standards authority but an Axe-deodorant advert, which depicted scantily-clad 'angels' falling out of 'heaven' because they are attracted to his scent. 'The complainant told regulators he was angered by the suggestion that God's messengers could literally fall for a man on the basis of his shop-bought fragrance.'
It seemed unlikely, yet he won the case and the advert was banned in this particular country.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/1...n_1064150.html


“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead



:wa:
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
01-23-2014, 11:19 PM
I think the op intended this more As a rant then anything else.

People shouldn't be trying to defend these girls actions due to fears of being judgemental as it leads to a form of leniency which causes great harm to society. If you see me doing something inappropriate I do not want you to think about what a nice guy I might be beneath that but tell me what I'm doing wrong and help me bring out that nice guy even more.
Reply

ardianto
01-24-2014, 05:16 PM
Several times I said in this forum that I love my wife not because her beauty although people who have ever met her said she was beautiful. And I have written in another thread that I like her modesty. Frankly, I would not marry her if she was a woman who love to appear sexily.

I see the women not as sexual object, but as human who have character, personality, and mind.

Correlation with this topic?.

If a man see the women not as sexual object, then if he accidentally saw a 'hot' picture of woman, he's not going to stare at this picture, and this picture would not disturb his mind.

I understand if brothers who live in Western countries can accidentally see "lads mags" in shop or magazines stall. But if they see the women not as sexual object, they could immediately look at other direction and that picture would not disturb their mind.

"Lads mags" like this actually can be found in my place too. Sometime magazine seller offered it to me, but I never interested. I prefer to buy motorcycle magazine, suit my interest.

My advice to brothers, try to see women not as sexual object. It will make you more able to control your mind when you accidentally see picture like that.
Reply

Scimitar
01-24-2014, 06:13 PM
FHM, Nuts, whatever they are - if they are affecting the mindset of a Muslim male, I ask, what the heck is he doing filling up his mind with that filth anyway?

He claims these magazines are on the top shelves - they are, we all know that, but you have to look UP to notice them, they are NOT IN YOUR FACE.... so why does he look up? cannot he control his own gaze?

He claims he is disgusted, but cannot find his better humanity in order to try and understand why these things happen, instead preferring to point fingers and claim they are all $%^&* or something.

I think the brother should take a break from visiting the local tesco store for a while.

Scimi
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IbnAbdulHakim
01-24-2014, 09:38 PM
^ i find that a bit unfair.

if we lash out at his outrage at what is clearly a problem with society then do we not cover up and defend the problem itself?
Reply

InToTheRain
01-24-2014, 11:31 PM
IMO OP you should take some initiative and hide the lads mags behind mags which other less interesting mags lets say the ones the bottom shelf. Of course get the shop owners consent which I am sure he/she will heartily agree to after the detrimental affect of these licentious mags have been explained.

GO GET EM OP
Reply

Karl
01-24-2014, 11:46 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
If you believe that the models in lads magazines are 'victims' who did not choose their profession you are extremely out of touch. These women may have worked hard to get where they are. They are not comparable to women in pornography or prostitution in that sense. They want men to ogle them and they enjoy it and make a lot of money out of it. Some of them even achieve fame and go on to be on TV or films.

Qu'ran 4:34 "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great."
That's all well and good, but that only applies to Muslims. Did you think Isa (PBUH) would blast out scriptures in self-righteousness when he was amongst the Romans? No he would have kept his head in for fear of offending them. Times have moved on and now you have a global atheist empire that you have to be wary of. The more you rage against it the more you empower it.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
01-25-2014, 07:57 PM
:sl:

I guess the least you can do is tear the posters down whenever you see them and in sha Allaah are rewarded for intending to forbid the evil and in that way protecting other eyes from faulling upon such filth. Switch them around whenever you see it and or politely also speak to the shop dude, but just refrain from any argumentation.

It is quite disgraceful indeed, but living in such a country its the norms, and unfortunately the norms in so called 'islamic' countries, which i do not consider to be islamic at all.

It is the sad state of affairs of some people of this dunya, this short test. may Allaah make us sucessful, may he be pleased with us and forgive us and cause the ummah to unite, and grant us best in dunya wa akhirah, Aameen.

:wa:
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sugaray21
01-28-2014, 11:08 PM


I agree with you on the points you made about what these women are doing being wrong, morally it is wrong...i just don’t agree with you that they are bad human beings/disgusting etc etc...(FYI, I’m a muslim woman who wears hijab, before you assume that i’m championing the rights of a woman to appear half naked on a magazine because i walk down the street half naked and feel obliged to endorse it in some way. I don’t.)


The thing is brother you’re looking at it all wrong...


We’re muslims...our aim in life is to be enlightened and compassionate individuals (who worship Allah (swt), goes without saying obviously) working on ourselves to become better all the time, never stopping, till the day we die..


Our aim is to rise above our desires, yes they are always there but we aim not to suppress them, which is unhealthy, but to manage them...and reach a state of being where we don’t feel disgusted by other people, or offended, or hateful towards anyone...what good does that do anyway??? Only when you can manage your emotions and desires are you free from being a slave to them, and all that is left is being a slave to Allah, feeling love towards other people not hate or disgust...this is really really important. And it is do-able...it just requires a different way of perceiving things..


It’s about stopping focusing on what’s outside of you, your surroundings, what other people are doing, saying, wearing, and instead turn your life into a work of progress whereby you are only focusing on yourself, your mind and your soul, trying to elevate it, where you no longer care what others are doing...


I’ll be honest here...i’m a female, but...i think being a male muslim in a western society is really tough..and a massive test of your inner strength...because you’re trying hard to manage your desires, and trying hard to keep your attentions and focus on pious deeds..but everywhere you look there are things pulling your attention away from what’s wholesome and good...porn, lads mags, naked women in the street in summertime...i get it, and i you have no idea how much i empathise with that...


But these women are not bad people...i literally want to hug women like this because i want them to know they are worth so much more and they are not just a pretty face to be used as a tool for men’s pleasure...and you could think that way too..just because they’re not muslims they are still your fellow human beings, they are good people....yes, they are choosing to do this..BUT you have to understand, they don’t know any different...they are raised in a society where what you say is wrong, to them is completely normal and ok. Why? Why do they think like this? Because that is what they are told from a very young age, perhaps not directly, but indirectly, through the various media outlets and through films and tv programmes which depict sex as glamour, they are being told that it is not morally wrong to do these things...everyone is doing it, it’s okay... I was raised in this society, i know how it works, and i know how women think..the only type of woman you have the right to call bad are those who murder or abuse kids...anyone who falls in between those things are just good people who have made bad choices...before i became muslim i would not have batted an eyelid at these magazines when going into a shop because i learned from a young age that this is NORMAL and OK. You don’t think twice about it. These women don’t intend to make misery for men, they think they are doing men a favour, as odd as that sounds...they have fooled themselves into believing that its a quid pro quo situation only in reality they are the ones losing...their dignity, their value, their integrity , their self worth,...how can you not feel sorry for them?? but really i believe it’s a form of social engineering that we are engineered via the media to believe this type of behaviour is normal... I’m not going to mention the men in this debate because i think it’s fairly obvious their role in it...they demand these magazines, so supply goes up....


Brother you cannot change these women, you cannot change the society we live in..it will only get worse... There are triggers for lust all around us everywhere we look, and men are much more visually stimulated biologically than women are, so it’s harder for you guys to stay pious and strong but it can be done....its about choice and choosing to empower yourself instead of handing over the power to your lust, these women, the media, your negative emotions and desires...


i really urge you to feel compassion for these women...they are slaves to their basest human desires i.e money, greed, need for attention and adoration. I really urge you not to show anger or disgust towards women like this, not saying you would of course, but, flip it round completely and try to have a feeling of compassion for them instead...there is nothing worse, than seeing muslims in this country show hatred or inconsideration or contempt towards non muslims just because they don’t agree with or like what they are doing...at the end of the day, this is a secular country and it never was a muslim one..so their rules apply...Hatred towards the actions of non muslims is a terrible, terrible way to promote islam, as much as we don’t agree with what they do, they have a right to feel comfortable in the land they grew up in.


These women deserve even more compassion than muslim women in my humble opinion... women like this operate on one level...the superficial and material...not knowing that there are other sides to themselves...they have a soul, there is a god but they are not fortunate enough to know this...can you not feel compassion for them for this reason? How sad is it not to know you are more than just a pretty face and a nice body...Again, their intentions are not bad, try seeing them as human beings who are kind, generous, sweet, funny, mothers, daughters...which they are...but maybe it’s hard for you to see these women in this way because you can’t match those traits to a woman who poses for magazines...they are good women who have made very bad choices you have to understand the difference...


Perhaps your anger is not really at these women..perhaps it is anger at yourself for being pulled towards these things ..because you think it is not in your control...but it always is brother...everything is a choice..you can choose to spend the rest of your life being disgusted and angry at these women but they will always be there...all we can change is ourselves in the end


Reply

Scimitar
01-28-2014, 11:16 PM
Originally Posted by InToTheRain
IMO OP you should take some initiative and hide the lads mags behind mags which other less interesting mags lets say the ones the bottom shelf. Of course get the shop owners consent which I am sure he/she will heartily agree to after the detrimental affect of these licentious mags have been explained.

GO GET EM OP
that won't work. the profit from the magazines are split between vendor and distributor. In most cases, that's the entire value of the magazine. The magazine itself, makes its profits from ROP display advertising and classifieds section advertising sales and sponsorships.

So it would be in the vendors interest to have them sold, and in order to do so, they'd have to to "display" them, but out of reach of children and minors. Thus, this filth does exist - but if you know it does (on the top shelf) - why choose to look in the first place? Just don't. Simple as that. The OP, needs to lower his gaze and get a grip on his rant.

Scimi
Reply

sugaray21
01-28-2014, 11:18 PM
I don't agree with that...do you know what will happen if he asks the shop keeper to take them down? I guarantee, the shop keeper will be some pen pusher, who upon seeing the muslim dress of this man, will automatically have his back up (due to negative propaganda through the media about muslims which is so rife these days),what will happen if the shopkeeper refuses to take them down...? he obviously thinks its ok because he put them up there in the first place..
guys I really don't think this is the right way to go about things...always remember we are in a secular country, not a muslim one...we want to promote islam In the best way possible...pushing your weight around trying to change things that are normal and ok here in the UK, especially if you're a revert, will backfire...all playing into the hands of tptb who are just waiting for a massive war between muslims and non muslims...don't bite the bait!!!
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Scimitar
01-28-2014, 11:19 PM
i dont agree with it either - because it wont work :D asking a corner store owner to hide the lads mags is like asking him to not sell alcohol and tobacco - NOT HAPPENING.
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ardianto
01-28-2014, 11:50 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
i dont agree with it either - because it wont work :D asking a corner store owner to hide the lads mags is like asking him to not sell alcohol and tobacco - NOT HAPPENING.
But it's better if they put these lads mags in place that not easy to be seen by children.
Reply

Scimitar
01-29-2014, 01:45 PM
And they are bro Ardianto, they place these magazines on the top shelf of magazine display units - even tall people have to arch their necks to see the covers - kids won't see them in most cases. It is against the law to display material unsuitable for minors in places where they can easily see it... hence, top shelf material only.

As for FHM and NUTS etc, these are middle shlef magazines, as they do not print full nudity on the front cover - living in Europe everyone knows that women in bikini's are not seen as naked - whereas if the same occurred in the east, they'd be seen as so.

Problem with the OP is that he is adopting old world mentality and trying to apply it to new world situations - it can work, but he clearly hasn't thought this thru properly. Hence, his OP became a rant that just didn't stop.

Scimi
Reply

InToTheRain
01-29-2014, 04:50 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
that won't work. the profit from the magazines are split between vendor and distributor. In most cases, that's the entire value of the magazine. The magazine itself, makes its profits from ROP display advertising and classifieds section advertising sales and sponsorships.

So it would be in the vendors interest to have them sold, and in order to do so, they'd have to to "display" them, but out of reach of children and minors. Thus, this filth does exist - but if you know it does (on the top shelf) - why choose to look in the first place? Just don't. Simple as that. The OP, needs to lower his gaze and get a grip on his rant.

Scimi
:sl:
My statements were tongue in cheek :D however on a more serious note...
Bulk of what needs to be said has been said. Stop the demand and you stop the supply. Hard to achieve in this day and age though. It's so easy to sin with the eye these days; It's in the shops, phones and more of concern the internet so it's all instantly accessible 24/7.

However see it another way, the one who has more opportunity to sin and turns away surely has been given more opportunities to please Allah Most High and can expect great rewards for doing so. These are times of Fitnah; so control those eyes for the pleasure of Allah Most High.
Reply

ardianto
01-29-2014, 05:16 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
And they are bro Ardianto, they place these magazines on the top shelf of magazine display units - even tall people have to arch their necks to see the covers - kids won't see them in most cases. It is against the law to display material unsuitable for minors in places where they can easily see it... hence, top shelf material only.
But the OP said he can see these mags whenever he goes to supermarket. It's means they don't hide these mags well. And kids can see too.

I don't want pictures like that make my sons see women as sexual object. I want they become gentlemen who know how to respect and treat women in proper way.

Problem with the OP is that he is adopting old world mentality and trying to apply it to new world situations - it can work, but he clearly hasn't thought this thru properly. Hence, his OP became a rant that just didn't stop.
I am an old world man who very concern about modesty :)

I came from environment that conservative but open minded and had high standar of etiquette, including etiquette of treating the women. But I live in the new world situation.

I have seen many things in my life, I have meet many people with various character and behavior, including women who were 'wild'. But I didn't do something wrong with them. And instead of judging them, I tried to understand them.

Yes, like mentioned in Qur'an surah 4:34 "Men are the maintainers of women ...... ". Men can make women become 'wrong', and can make women become 'right'. Depend on how men treat the women. Maybe many brothers disagree with me. But like I've said, I have seen many things in my life, and I have learned much.
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Scimitar
01-30-2014, 10:03 AM
Top shelf mags always stay on top shelf - it's law bro.

Lads mags such as fhm and nuts are no trashier than women's magazines. Full frontal nudity exist within both ladies and lads mags.

I tell u something bro ardianto. People are way more perverse in muslim countries than they are here in the UK. For example, Saudi Arabia has a huge homosexuality problem there and worse... I've witnessed men with beards showing off pornographic material on their phones inside of makkah no less.

No doubt this post will be deleted as usual.
Reply

Independent
01-30-2014, 10:23 AM
The biggest issue today is not lad's mags. Many of these titles are actually in decline with falling sales. Far more serious is what goes on in this medium - the web. The material that's freely available on the web is infinitely worse than anything you'll find in a normal shop.
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ardianto
01-30-2014, 01:23 PM
Originally Posted by Independent
The biggest issue today is not lad's mags. Many of these titles are actually in decline with falling sales. Far more serious is what goes on in this medium - the web. The material that's freely available on the web is infinitely worse than anything you'll find in a normal shop.
Not only freely available, but porn material in the web can appear without request.

Sometime happen, I visited a site and read article which absolutely not related to porn, and suddenly pop-up ad appear and show nude picture or even clip from adult movie.

Yes, worse than lad's mags or porn mags which we must buy if we want to read it.
Reply

Scimitar
01-30-2014, 05:10 PM
...and the OP has disappeared :D

I do wonder why these "casual" members come here to rant. Are they really Muslims? Or are they here to try and stir the proverbial pot?

And if they really are Muslims, why don't they take it easy? You know? Salaama? Peace is the way forward... try to get to know some people, get involved in some current topics, discussions, do some investigating and research some things to help make a better point etc? What happened to the common sense? Where did it go?

The Don'ts:

Don't make your first few posts about something that is gonna cause a storm here, else you'll be viewed as someone with an agenda - we can't help it. Over my time as a member here, I've seen members come and go - those who went, usually did so with a loud crash and bang. And their first posts were very much like the OP in this thread. 'Cept, this member has left without so much as a squeek...

...I do hope he comes back in sha Allah.

Scimi
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Jedi_Mindset
01-30-2014, 07:27 PM
I hope next time he comes back he will take a better and more reasonable approach. True, these mags are a problem but they can easily be avoided while on the internet you dont know if you are one click away from a website full with filth. Porn is a much bigger problem which should be tackled and I know we both muslims and non-muslims can agree on that.

There aren't much people (Mainly teenagers) who buy these magazines anymore, while filth is easier accessible when browsing the internet.
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Karl
01-30-2014, 10:20 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
But the OP said he can see these mags whenever he goes to supermarket. It's means they don't hide these mags well. And kids can see too.

I don't want pictures like that make my sons see women as sexual object. I want they become gentlemen who know how to respect and treat women in proper way.


I am an old world man who very concern about modesty :)

I came from environment that conservative but open minded and had high standar of etiquette, including etiquette of treating the women. But I live in the new world situation.

I have seen many things in my life, I have meet many people with various character and behavior, including women who were 'wild'. But I didn't do something wrong with them. And instead of judging them, I tried to understand them.

Yes, like mentioned in Qur'an surah 4:34 "Men are the maintainers of women ...... ". Men can make women become 'wrong', and can make women become 'right'. Depend on how men treat the women. Maybe many brothers disagree with me. But like I've said, I have seen many things in my life, and I have learned much.
Don't take your "kids" to the super market. Problem solved. The irony is that the more prudish the parents the more likely the "kids" will turn out to be shocking libertines LOL.
Also the super market is private property, not your property so if you don't like it just don't go there. Boycotting it is the only just thing you can do.
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Ğħαrєєвαħ
01-30-2014, 10:39 PM
Well, the answer is pretty simple isnt it. either don't go there or lower your gaze however possible that may be.

..and may Allaah forgive us and make things easy upon us, Aameen.
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Scimitar
01-30-2014, 10:48 PM
Yup, we are responsible for our own deeds, no one elses.

Reminds of an hadeeth: On the Authority of Abu Sa'eed al Khudree RA who said: I heard the messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say, "Whosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart - and that is the weakest of faith" (Muslim).
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ardianto
01-31-2014, 01:53 AM
Originally Posted by Karl
Don't take your "kids" to the super market. Problem solved. The irony is that the more prudish the parents the more likely the "kids" will turn out to be shocking libertines LOL.
Also the super market is private property, not your property so if you don't like it just don't go there. Boycotting it is the only just thing you can do.
Lads mags in supermarket is not the main problem. I've ever be a boy, and I know how is the boys life. When I was a boy sometime I saw mags with 'hot cover' in shop, but I did not stare to these mags, due to simple reason. It would be embarassing if people saw me enjoyed a hot picture in public place.

But it doesn't mean I never saw hot picture. Even I've ever collected few which I got from my friends in school. School was one place where porn materials distributed among the boys.

In my teen age, one stuff which popular among middle class families was video player. Sometime the boys gathered and watched video together. When the parents were at home, the boys watched popular movies or racing videos. But when the parents were not at home?. .... You can guess what videos the boys were watching.

Yes, that's the boys behavior!

That's happened before the era of internet and cellphone with video that can be used to distribute video. We can imagine how easy for boys nowadays to get porn materials. Different than lads mags that easily can be found by the parents, electronic porn materials are easy to be hidden by the boys.

Just an info for the parents.
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Jedi_Mindset
02-08-2014, 12:07 PM
"If U want to destroy any nation without war, make Adultery or Nudity common in the young Generation" — Sultan Salahudeen Ayubi(Rh)
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Urban Turban
02-08-2014, 07:06 PM
Originally Posted by SunniLife
I am sick of seeing these disgusting magazines right in front of my nose whenever I go to the supermarket. They say they aren't pornographic, but as far as I'm concerned if they're meant for arousing sexual desire then they are the same. Also, the women in them are all disgraceful *****s, just like in porn. What is your opinions of them? Is there anything I can do to try and get them off the shelves of my local supermarket? I thinks its disgusting that they are in plain site for kids to see. :raging:
Why not invite the owners (and others) of the supermarket to Islam?
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Urban Turban
02-08-2014, 07:09 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Lads mags in supermarket is not the main problem. I've ever be a boy, and I know how is the boys life. When I was a boy sometime I saw mags with 'hot cover' in shop, but I did not stare to these mags, due to simple reason. It would be embarassing if people saw me enjoyed a hot picture in public place.

But it doesn't mean I never saw hot picture. Even I've ever collected few which I got from my friends in school. School was one place where porn materials distributed among the boys.

In my teen age, one stuff which popular among middle class families was video player. Sometime the boys gathered and watched video together. When the parents were at home, the boys watched popular movies or racing videos. But when the parents were not at home?. .... You can guess what videos the boys were watching.

Yes, that's the boys behavior!

That's happened before the era of internet and cellphone with video that can be used to distribute video. We can imagine how easy for boys nowadays to get porn materials. Different than lads mags that easily can be found by the parents, electronic porn materials are easy to be hidden by the boys.

Just an info for the parents.
Is it allowed to make public one's sins brother?
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Jedi_Mindset
02-08-2014, 09:07 PM
Originally Posted by Urban Turban
Is it allowed to make public one's sins brother?
He didnt mention his name bro, he was just giving an example :)
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BeTheChange
02-08-2014, 10:53 PM
There's a lot of wrong in society and sometimes we don't have the power to change or remove evil from society that's why it's important to keep a conscious tab of your thoughts, what your eyes look at, what your ears hear, what you touch etc. As all your senses have an effect on your soul.

If you can bring a change to society for the better then seek the necessary means but if not control your actions and speak to the network around you (family, neighbours, community etc).

One of the weakness of men is women that's written in our books so of course the kuffar are going to use this to thier advantage. You see airbrushed pretty women selling and promoting goods which aren't even female products etc. It's just a distraction like everything else.

Stay focused on the real goal and direct your emotional energy in something worthwhile.

That's my advice.
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Ummshareef
02-09-2014, 05:05 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Yes, that's the boys behavior!

That's happened before the era of internet and cellphone with video that can be used to distribute video. We can imagine how easy for boys nowadays to get porn materials. Different than lads mags that easily can be found by the parents, electronic porn materials are easy to be hidden by the boys.

Just an info for the parents.
Yes, I have made it clear to my boys that I do check their bedrooms from time to time and if I find anything they will be in big trouble. But it is so easy for them to hide it now with the new technology.
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sugaray21
02-09-2014, 09:02 PM
Glo: you left me a little msg regarding my response on this thread .Jazakallahkhair. :-) im a limited member so cannot send messages to peeps yet.
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sugaray21
02-09-2014, 09:05 PM
Indeed scimitar...it is a bit strange that person never came back to respond to our responses..
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ardianto
02-10-2014, 03:08 PM
Originally Posted by Ummshareef
Yes, I have made it clear to my boys that I do check their bedrooms from time to time and if I find anything they will be in big trouble. But it is so easy for them to hide it now with the new technology.
But the most dangerous is 'adult sites' in internet. The boys do not need to hide it, but they can see it in everywhere. Because this is placed in the web, not in the hardware (computer).

Yes, sis, you can visit a website through computer in your house, and you can visit same site from computer in your friend's house, from computer in another city, or even from computer in another country.
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M.I.A.
02-10-2014, 04:18 PM
to be fair i cant find a distinction between lads mags and most media we are fed anymore.

but im not insincere enough to think im above it. *


the development of personal shame helps in being humble.

the lack of it is what changes the world.


although im wrong again because god is the judge and im not the one who makes distinctions between lesser and greater sins.


...i have no idea what heaven or hell awaits, although i doubt i could sway a jury.



apparently most "lads mags" will have opaque plastic coverings on them in the future..although the thread has moved on.


*
(not kidding, my wife wanted to buy some drinking glasses that were marketed as "pilsner glasses" i said no. she got them later anyway and now that i look at them... they are just glasses...insane)
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Ummshareef
02-12-2014, 08:56 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
But the most dangerous is 'adult sites' in internet. The boys do not need to hide it, but they can see it in everywhere. Because this is placed in the web, not in the hardware (computer).

Yes, sis, you can visit a website through computer in your house, and you can visit same site from computer in your friend's house, from computer in another city, or even from computer in another country.
Yes, indeed, the internet is full of danger. In our house the only two computers are in the main living area with the screens facing the centre of the room so that others can see what is being viewed. Our boys are only permitted to visit websites that are safe, i.e. without haram images and preferably Islamically beneficial. If they wish to visit a new site not on the list of favourites they must ask permission first and we will review it and only if it seems halal and educational may they continue. After they have finished their session we may check the history and if there is anything we don't like the look of they are questioned. I strongly believe that the path from viewing haram images to even bigger sins in a very short one and as a parent, this is an area I am not prepared to take any chances.
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Scimitar
02-12-2014, 09:11 PM
Some tips on how to block sites unsuitable for children on your home computers: http://www.pcadvisor.co.uk/features/...s-safe-online/

Scimi
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M.I.A.
02-12-2014, 09:14 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23401076

well, if it happens then.

i guess you can expect some thread slowdown.

its funny but its not enough i suppose.
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Scimitar
02-12-2014, 09:18 PM
"The coalition government has pledged to prevent abuse of women and girls, so tackling a culture that glorifies abuse is critical for achieving this”
Holly DustinDirector, End Violence Against Women Coalition

if only they applied the same logic and method to women being portrayed as objects for men. Then we can say society is advancing. What you are reading in that quote is nothing more than damage control for an already imploding society .

Scimi
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M.I.A.
02-12-2014, 09:33 PM
Originally Posted by Scimitar
"The coalition government has pledged to prevent abuse of women and girls, so tackling a culture that glorifies abuse is critical for achieving this”
Holly DustinDirector, End Violence Against Women Coalition

if only they applied the same logic and method to women being portrayed as objects for men. Then we can say society is advancing. What you are reading in that quote is nothing more than damage control for an already imploding society .

Scimi

lol, sure.. so i guess they should never have sent guidance in the first place.

but if you insist in burning today then thats what you have sent out for tomorrow.

..or not.

but argument is key to enlightenment right?

or corruption of the soul.
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Scimitar
02-12-2014, 10:25 PM
no - like I said, damage control. They don't want the ethnic minorities to become the prominent races in their countries. Obama is scaring them :D
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Signor
02-15-2014, 12:33 PM
Re: Living the Single Life

Will Marriage Solve My Problems?

After engaging more with the Muslim community through activities like da`wah (calling to Islam), conferences, and halaqa's (study circles), I have observed something intriguing: there seems to be a fascination—even obsession—with the topic of marriage. Regardless of whether a particular lecture is dedicated to something other than gender relations, the topic of marriage somehow always creeps up.

Now, do I consider this a bad thing? Not necessarily. Indeed, considering the magnitude of fitan (trials) that many unmarried folks face, such as the pressure to date or deal with the opposite gender on terms outside of the boundaries of Islam, I believe that marriage is something that should be discussed and encouraged.

What I’m more fascinated with, however, are the underlying reasons for why people – especially the youth – want to get married so quickly. Despite not having enough resources to care for themselves, let alone a spouse, or whether they understand the Islamic obligations and duties of a spouse, it seems that many of our brothers and sisters have become consumed with the thought of marriage…why? I wonder: what are the psychological reasons behind why a person—who might not be physically or emotionally prepared—wants to get married? If this sounds like you—have you asked yourself why? I mean, apart from the obvious reasons of wanting to complete “half your deen,” or pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), do you think there are some underlying issues that may be driving you to consider marriage?

Here are some reasons that I have come up with on my own:

  1. I have noticed that some people view marriage as an escape from their current situations. Perhaps they believe that by getting married, all of their social and familial problems will be solved. Unfortunately, some Muslims may be living under dire conditions at home and might be going through emotional and/or physical abuse, and so for them marriage seems like a way out.
  2. Some people may feel misunderstood by their peers and families, and may desire a partner who can understand and sympathize with them.
  3. Some individuals may be feeling pressure from their relatives or cultural/ethnic communities. They may be made to feel bad for not finding a spouse, or even ridiculed and ostracized for being single.
  4. A lot of people seem to be what I’d like to call “baby-obsessed”: for them, marriage is about having child, after child, after child, after…you get the point.
  5. For some, being in a relationship is about status: literally going from “single” to “taken” or “married.” It is about letting the world know that “Yes, I am important,” and the fact that they have a partner is a sign of that importance.
  6. What about those who feel left out? Some may find that all of their friends or peers are getting married, and yet there they are, all alone. They may internalize their “single-hood” and begin to think that something is wrong with them.

My point is, issues such as low self-esteem, lack of attention, the desire for appreciation, the need to be noticed, lack of emotional support, peer/familial pressures, and societal expectations are, unfortunately, some of the underlying reasons people may seek marriage. We have been made to believe that marriage will solve all of our problems; that after getting married, we will truly live happily ever after. In my opinion, this outlook turns marriage into an end instead of a means and as a result, marriage becomes the “end all, be all” for many of us, We tell ourselves things like: “after marriage, I’ll be happy,” “after I get married, I’ll be satisfied.” We begin to view marriage as the ultimate solution to all of our problems, when in reality it is not. Marriage must be viewed as a means, and understood in terms of your personal relationship with Allah (swt). It is not marriage, in and of itself, that will bring you things such as happiness or contentment. Rather, it is through the act of marriage that you will find yourself coming closer to Allah (swt) insha’Allah (God willing). Through coming closer to Him and turning back to Him, you will begin to find true happiness and contentment, insha’Allah (God willing). That said, marriage should be viewd as a means to draw you closer to Allah (swt); a means of attaining His pleasure and earning His Paradise.

Brothers and sisters, marriage won’t solve your problems—Allah (swt) will.

So, if you find yourself currently in a rut—everything seems to be going “bad” for you; you’re depressed, lonely, sad, angry, frustrated, confused, or hurt—take a step towards Allah (swt). Turn to Him to solve your problems. Who knows, marriage may be the means through which He decides to help you…yet at the same time, it may not be. The point is, we need to start viewing the idea of marriage with a healthy mindset: one that is enriched with knowledge and empowerment from the Qur’an and Sunnah and one that realizes that Allah (swt) alone is the solver of all our problems and issues—and Allah (swt) knows best.

Link
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ardianto
02-15-2014, 05:01 PM
Re: Living the Single Life

In another thread I've ever given an advice to a teen boy to not choose career as DJ. I told him, I know how is club life, how is night life.

That's because I've ever lived in a wild life when I was young. Life that full of sins. I admit it. Yes, my Iman was not so strong like many brothers here.

But then there was something that made me my life better, and prevent me to fall into wild life again. Presence of a woman in my life.

I know it sound strange for many people here. But living single made me feel like a bird that flies anywhere but didn't have a place to perch. And I felt an emptiness in my heart. Living single made me had a freedom, but I could not control it.

Having someone made me feel like a bird who have a nest, where I lived with someone who filled my heart. I felt comfort with life like this although I lost my freedom. I was under control by someone, but she control me with love, and it made me very happy.

Did marriage solve my problems?. Yes!. Marriage gave me a halal way to have a someone. Having someone, that's what made me could leave my wild life, and made me closer to Allah.

And I still feel grateful with it although now Allah has taken back my beloved wife.
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