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anonymous
01-30-2014, 02:56 AM
Salaam,

Please treat this urgently.

Okay I have been a member here before. I can't remember when but I felt suspicious that there was something wrong with my family. There were arguments and fights going on. I thought it was normal because everyone was stressed. However everyone's behaviour changed so much except mine. Then as everyone began to cool down I started to act really weird. Like never before. I feel like I'm a different person throughout the day. I started to hate people and Islam. I even thought I was a homosexual at one point even though I'm not. Basically over a number of years I got the following issues:

1. Unusual spots on my face, arms and upper back. These are red painful spots. I have marks over my body as well
2. Severe allergic reactions
3. Excessive sweating and extreme anxiety
4. Crying and laughing uncontrollably for no reason especially when listening to Qur'an
5. Unable to sleep and nightmares
6. Mood swings (hyper to being angry to sad)
7. Grey hair (only 21)
8. Marks on my body
9. temper tantrums and being very violent
10. Terrible memory
11. Unable to speak loudly
12. Unable to concentrate (
13. Extreme suicidal thoughts (tried to commit suicide)

Doctors ain't got a clue whats going on. Blood tests revealed nothing. Consultant psychiatrists and speech therapists do not whats the matter. Just been given anti-depressants (citraploram 40mg) but it hasn't done anything. I feel the same well worse. I forgot how to pray and read Qur'an. I can't even pray now. I hate it. I even like making Muslims fight amongst each other during certain times of the day.

I'm really confused. There is like a heavy load on my head. Look this messed me up. I left my job, spent money like an idiot and my family don't know whats wrong with me. I can't even basic things.

Can someone pray for me to feel better? I'm not joking. I feel ill. I really feel like I'm gonna die. I feel like I'm gonna do something stupid and unpredictable. I behave so differently throughout the day it is so tiring.
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Woodrow
01-30-2014, 03:21 AM
Although the doctors have not found a physical problem, it does sound like one. No one here is qualified to give you any medical advice online.

Please continue seeingyour regegular Dr and don't give up.

You are in my du'as and I am certain others will also remember you in theirs,
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IslamicRevival
01-30-2014, 03:38 AM
:sl:

It could be Magic (Allah protect us from all evil)
Best if you contact your local imam Inshaa Allah

Allah knows best
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anonymous
01-30-2014, 03:52 AM
^ I'm starting to think that. My brother began to itch like crazy and blamed the itch problem on me. Now he is all better.

I don't think this is a physical problem. My GP told me that there is nothing wrong with me apart from "depression"...

I really feel like something is wrong. Something is not right.

I don't even want to speak to the Imam. I feel physically sick just thinking about it. Like I might actually hurt him. This sounds weird but in the morning I really hate Muslims. I can't stand them. They make me sick. I really hate them. They me sick.

Its getting to the point where I have no control over myself. I really can't do anything apart from complain, get angry, throw a temper tantrum or rant. I even eat like a dog. I can't stop.

This heavy load on my head. It is hard to keep my head up. It is so heavy. Like it really hurts. The doctors don't get it. One thought I was being an attention seeker.

I don't think people understand how I really feel. It really hurts. In the last 3 or 4 years my life got messed up. I can't believe everything is falling apart. It happened within seconds.

I don't think I'm in the position to even go to the mosque. I actually vomit when I think about it. Like when I go out I don't even care how I dress. Like without noticing my shirt is the wrong way round until someone points it out. When I went for a haircut I had a terrible random nosebleed. It was so random and embarrassing...

Nosebleeds are common. I get them out of the blue.

My family seem a bit bland. They don't understand the urgency behind it. Its like I'm talking to a brick wall. Its like they are ignoring me and it is making me so angry.

Oh I'm just ranting...
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anonymous
01-30-2014, 03:54 AM
My family never likes me. Its like all of them want to see me fail. They give me dirty looks. I hate them.
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ardianto
01-30-2014, 02:11 PM
:wa:

Originally Posted by anonymous
^ I'm starting to think that. My brother began to itch like crazy and blamed the itch problem on me. Now he is all better.
Instead of tried to find why he got itch he blamed you for this?.

Bro, to be honest, if I grew up and live in environment with negative thinking people who love to blame the other for their problem, I would be depressed too.

From what I've noticed, your problem happen because you feel uncomfortable with people's behavior in your environment. But you tried to 'press' your feeling. However, later you could not again 'press and hold' your feeling, then you were 'exploded' and become depressed.

Originally Posted by anonymous
I don't even want to speak to the Imam. I feel physically sick just thinking about it. Like I might actually hurt him. This sounds weird but in the morning I really hate Muslims. I can't stand them. They make me sick. I really hate them. They me sick.
I understand. I have found few people talked about bearded uncles and hijabi aunties who often talk about Islam but also love to backbiting. And I found too a bad habit among some Muslims, using Qur'an and hadith to force other people to follow what they want. Of course, live among them will make you sick and hate them.

But do you know how many Muslims in the world?. If few Muslims are bad it doesn't mean all Muslims are bad.

I know many Muslims who are open minded and always thinking positively, and of course, far from backbiting behavior. When I had question about Islam, I asked Islamic teachers who I know personally, in non-formal situation, sometime while enjoying coffee and cookies.

Try to find Muslims who positive in thought and behavior, and be close with them. Gather with positive people will make you become positive person too.

But at first you must build positive thought about yourself and other people. Do not thinking that you are bad person, realize that you are actually good person but you just have a problem. Do not thinking that other people are bad and don't hate them, but try to understand that if they are bad in behavior, it's because they haven't able to manage themselves.

You are in my du'a. :)
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Muhammad
01-30-2014, 02:14 PM
:wasalamex brother,

Ask Allaah from your heart to rectify your affairs and protect you.

You must try to get back on track with your prayers. Take small steps to increase in your remembrance of Allaah - like listening to recitation of the Qur'an and reciting du'as as much as possible. Seek help from the Imam or good Muslims around you.

May Allaah :swt: cure you from all illness and distress and rectify all your affairs and those of your family, Aameen.
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Scimitar
01-30-2014, 05:15 PM
typically sounds like black magicians have done something on the request of someone who knows your family very very well.

separation magic.

It's obvious.

The affected MUST stay in ghusl and wudhu at all times, and make their salaah as regular as they can... beyond which, in sha Allah, HE will guide as necessary if this affected person can do the above.

Scimi
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Hulk
01-30-2014, 06:13 PM
Wa alaykumsalam wrwb,

If possible, try to relax, it can be difficult to think properly if we're not calm. Taking a walk outside might help, I personally like to play with the cats in my neighbourhood, or just watch the birds.

As some of the posters have said, it would be good if you can seek help from an Imam or any good muslims around you. Whatever your issue may be, it is quite likely that someone else has experienced it before. This is why it is important to go to someone who is knowledgable as they may have a better understanding of what is going on.

It would be good if you can try to attend classes to learn more about Islam, as knowledge can help one increase in iiman.

Amin to all the duas.
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anonymous
01-31-2014, 12:58 AM
First I'm glad to see all of you doing well. I actually remember Hulk lol. He's that Indonesian or Malaysian dude. XD I hope your doing well. I wonder How brother Woodrow's mosque thing is doing. I have to post at night because in the morning I tend to be completely different. Like I'm very rude and say vulgar random things and try to start trouble.

Originally Posted by ardianto
:wa:


Instead of tried to find why he got itch he blamed you for this?
Well he went to the doctors and there was no cure. He could not sleep at night. So he blamed me for for some reason. It eventually went away. But yeah...

Bro, to be honest, if I grew up and live in environment with negative thinking people who love to blame the other for their problem, I would be depressed too.

From what I've noticed, your problem happen because you feel uncomfortable with people's behavior in your environment. But you tried to 'press' your feeling. However, later you could not again 'press and hold' your feeling, then you were 'exploded' and become depressed.


I understand. I have found few people talked about bearded uncles and hijabi aunties who often talk about Islam but also love to backbiting. And I found too a bad habit among some Muslims, using Qur'an and hadith to force other people to follow what they want. Of course, live among them will make you sick and hate them.

But do you know how many Muslims in the world?. If few Muslims are bad it doesn't mean all Muslims are bad.

I know many Muslims who are open minded and always thinking positively, and of course, far from backbiting behavior. When I had question about Islam, I asked Islamic teachers who I know personally, in non-formal situation, sometime while enjoying coffee and cookies.

Try to find Muslims who positive in thought and behavior, and be close with them. Gather with positive people will make you become positive person too.

But at first you must build positive thought about yourself and other people. Do not thinking that you are bad person, realize that you are actually good person but you just have a problem. Do not thinking that other people are bad and don't hate them, but try to understand that if they are bad in behavior, it's because they haven't able to manage themselves.

You are in my du'a. :)
I know there are many good Muslims. This hatred of anything to do with Muslims and Islam came about very suddenly. I really have no reason to hate them. It is not just that. I have severe mood swings throughout the day. One minute I'm happy. Next minute I'm very sad. And then I'm completely angry and try to create fights. It is really exhausting.

Originally Posted by Scimitar
typically sounds like black magicians have done something on the request of someone who knows your family very very well.

separation magic.

It's obvious.

The affected MUST stay in ghusl and wudhu at all times, and make their salaah as regular as they can... beyond which, in sha Allah, HE will guide as necessary if this affected person can do the above.

Scimi
Yeah I think I have been affected by magic. I thought I was paranoid, but I can't see no explanation.

Originally Posted by Hulk
Wa alaykumsalam wrwb,

If possible, try to relax, it can be difficult to think properly if we're not calm. Taking a walk outside might help, I personally like to play with the cats in my neighbourhood, or just watch the birds.

As some of the posters have said, it would be good if you can seek help from an Imam or any good muslims around you. Whatever your issue may be, it is quite likely that someone else has experienced it before. This is why it is important to go to someone who is knowledgable as they may have a better understanding of what is going on.

It would be good if you can try to attend classes to learn more about Islam, as knowledge can help one increase in iiman.

Amin to all the duas.
I really can't leave my house for now. I actually forgot how to pray and read Qur'an. I used to pray everyday but over two/three years I completely forgot. It happened without realising.

I'm gonna try to perform ruqyah by myself.
Reply

Insaanah
01-31-2014, 10:28 PM
:salam:

Originally Posted by anonymous
I'm gonna try to perform ruqyah by myself.
I don't know if you have this book, on Self-Ruqyah treatment to do on yourself and your family, with the Ruqyahs being from Qur'an and Sunnah, and advice on how to enhance recovery etc. There are three lengths of Ruqyah: short, medium and long. If you want to make it easy on yourself, start with the short one first then progress. Read and blow/wipe on yourself, and you can blow on your food and drink, and your family and home if you can. Don't worry if you don't have zamzam or dates etc, you can still do it without those. Be as regular and constant with the ruqyah as you can, and don't forget morning and evening zhikrs from the Qur'an and sunnah - let us know if you need help with those.

http://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih_...n_Erqe_Eng.pdf

May Allah grant you shifaa' and rectify all your affairs, ameen.
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