Teenager need help

[AdilItachi]

Asslm all,
so i am 16 years old and live in a non-muslim country, in Mauritius.
I was born muslim but started to do my namaz recently onlyimsad
As every student here, i take private tuitions..

What i need to know is how to behave... There are girls (most of them do not dress correctly) and i need a clarification on how to behave, so far i have avoided to talk with them (never wanted to) and would also lower my gaze: I can proudly say that i have not fallen in the traps of this society and never dated, kissed and went out with anyone...i'm determined to avoid any relationships before my marriage, i mean it..

According to sharia law, how should i behave in such environment, society? Thank you for helping :D

[greenhill]

Welcome to the forum.

Alhamdulillah that you 'see' the issues with a free mingling society. Even better that you have opted to 'act' on it to prevent yourself from following the wrong path.

However, as this is an introduction section, your question should be posted in 'clarifications on islam' thread? Meanwhile, please feel free to browse the forum for any interesting posts.

Wishing you a great stay.


:peace:

[AdilItachi]

Thank you for your help, not used to this website...
posting it back immediately :nervous:

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


best if u teach boys only .

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[AdilItachi]

Actually, i'm a student...not a teacher

[ardianto]

Wa'alaikumsalam, young brother.

You said you need help. But need help for what?. I don't think you are in problem.

When I was teenager I never dated too, and didn't have girlfriend. Not because there's no girl who interested to me, but because I didn't want. I really enjoyed my joyful activities with my friends such as fishing, went to the beach or mountain, traveling to villages, etc.

Hunting the girls?. No!. Me and my friends were not type of boys who like to flirt or hunt the girls, but type of boys who could respect the girls. It's because we have sisters and we love our sisters.

I had many friends when I was teenager, and actually I was popular enough among the boys. But I also selective in choosing with who I would be close. I didn't like to join with the boys who like to flirt the girls, boys who like clubbing, or boys from playboy type.

Choose your friends wisely. This is what you should do. Don't be close with the boys from "the girls hunter" type.

Like I've said, me and my friends have sisters. And I was close enough with my friends sisters. I often talked with them, but never did something wrong to them, like flirt them.

There is no prohibition to do interaction with opposite gender, as long as you still within the limit. It's okay if you talk to the girls when you need to talk, or even just to greet them. But you must always polite. Friendly is okay, but always polite.

"Lowering the gaze" actually is not prohibition to look at a woman, but command to lowering desire when we see a woman. It's okay if you look at a girl when you need to look at her, as long as you are able to lowering your desire. And do not look at a girl when you don't need to look at her.

This is what my Islamic teachers taught to me.

Then what's your problem?. Unable to control your desire when you are talking to a girl?. Why?. Because she is attractive?.

Young bro, if you are unable to control your desire when you were talking to a girl, it's means you see the females as just sexual object. Of course, you could not control sexual desire that suddenly appear in your mind.

So, learn to respect women, and learn to see women as human like your sister or your mother.

One important thing you must know. In the future you will marry a human who has character and personality, not a beautiful doll. You will feel comfortable or uncomfortable with your wife not because her beauty, but because her behavior and how she treat you.

If you realize it since now, then you will start learn to see a woman not on her physical beauty, but on her character and personality.

If you are able to see a girl on her character and personality, In Shaa Allah, you will always able to control your desire when you meet a girl, although she is attractive or even sexy.

By the way, I am a 46 years old father, and my eldest son now is 15 years old. :)

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

Actually, i'm a student...not a teacher

don't stay with opposite gender in private . About private tuition - teach male students only.

[AdilItachi]

Thank you very much for your advices...Actually, yes, i'm not in problem and am not attracted by those girls. I only wanted to know the proper behaviour towards this type of environment...
( i don't have any desires, any temptations, thanks to god) :shade: