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Life_Is_Short
03-17-2014, 07:18 PM
Asalamulaikum,

I was hoping that someone here could advice me. I am 22 and soon looking to get married. Insh'Allah. However, I am in difficult circumstances. I am studying at the moment, in my fourth year Medicine and I have two more years until I finish. I'm studying abroad, so I do not live with my parents. My parents are convincing me to get engaged and be ready to marry when I graduate. The choices they've provided me with are not something I am particularly happy with. They want me to consider either my cousin or my mums friends nephew who grew up in Pakistan. I do not know how to tell my parents that I'd like to marry someone that at least grew up in the same country as me, England. I do not plan to move to Pakistan. My parents had an arranged marriage and they were both cousins. It worked out best for them, alhamdulilah. However, those were different times, different circumstances, culture and country. Is it so wrong to want someone who understand the adversities of growing up in a western society? Someone who speaks the same language as me?

I have never disobeyed my parents and marriage is a huge decision. How do I tell my parents that I want to take an active part in this decision ?

Jazak'Allah.
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straightpath1
03-31-2014, 04:07 AM
no one can force u in marriage.. make sure u marry some1 pious .. may Allah grant u a pious spouse, who u will be happy with Ameen
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straightpath1
03-31-2014, 04:07 AM
talk to ur parents nicely abt ur decision
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mr moon
03-31-2014, 12:20 PM
Tell you parents what your expectation are in marriage. If you find it hard to express this to your parents directly, then go through a medium, or tell a sibling / aunt etc to explain to your parents.
Don't rush into anything or consent to any proposals with istikhara and making sure your fully content on who you and your parents have chosen
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mr moon
03-31-2014, 12:21 PM
Tell you parents what your expectation are in marriage. If you find it hard to express this to your parents directly, then go through a medium, or tell a sibling / aunt etc to explain to your parents.
Don't rush into anything or consent to any proposals with istikhara and making sure your fully content on who you and your parents have chosen
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