Complaining about a ruling make it a kufr?

[Aishath]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I would like to clarify if the following fall under uttering words of kufr. From what I understand, a word of kufr indicates saying a word of disbelief or declaring oneself to be a kaafir. However, if one were to complain about a commandment of Allah SWT does that make them a kufr as well...

1. If someone who wears hijab complain about having to do so and say they wish they did not need to wear it as it is hot or they want to wear 'pretty' clothes... does this make them a kufr? But this person also knows she does not intend to take off the hijab as it is a ruling in Islam that she cover herself. She complains of the burden though.

2. If a sister claims she wants to go to work during marriage as she does not want to take her husband's income, does this mean kufr? (Because of course, in Islam, the husband is the provider of the family and I believe it is more suitable for a sister to stay at home and be the homemaker of the family).

Please advise me if it is kufr in the above two cases and the reason. Does someone complaining about a ruling in Islam make it a sin but not kufr? They still believe in Allah and they know this is the way we have been commanded to do a certain thing but due to arrogance and anger they utter such words of complaint.

JazakAllah Khair.

[Hulk]

Wa alaykumsalam wrwb,

I can't answer your questions, but I believe that ingratitude is a form of kufr.

[ardianto]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Wa'alaikumsalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

1. If someone who wears hijab complain about having to do so and say they wish they did not need to wear it as it is hot or they want to wear 'pretty' clothes... does this make them a kufr? But this person also knows she does not intend to take off the hijab as it is a ruling in Islam that she cover herself. She complains of the burden though.

In the case you mention above, this complaint is not action of kufr. But I really suggest this sister to train herself to be ikhlas (sincere) in perform/implement obligation in Islam.

2. If a sister claims she wants to go to work during marriage as she does not want to take her husband's income, does this mean kufr? (Because of course, in Islam, the husband is the provider of the family and I believe it is more suitable for a sister to stay at home and be the homemaker of the family).

Fulfill wife needs is duty of husband. But there is no rule that obligate wife to live depend on the husband income. Wife is allowed to work if she does not neglect her duty toward family, her job does not cause fitnah, and her husband does not mind (*). The income that she get is for herself because wife is free from obligation to give sustenance to husband, although if she want to give or share her income to her husband is allowed, or even good.

(*)The husband must wise too. He should not forbid his wife to work if his income is not enough to fulfill the family basic needs, or forbid because he want his wife depend on him.

Does someone complaining about a ruling in Islam make it a sin but not kufr

There is difference between ruling in Islam and rule that made by human which use Islam as justification. You should able to distinguish between these two things.

We should not complain about ruling in Islam. But we can complain if this rule actually just man made rule which use Islam as justification.

[Aishath]

So in the case where the sister is complaining about the difficulty of wearing hijab or if a sister makes comparisons and talks of the difficulty women have in doing wudhu when compared to men (due to issues of female discharge), this still does not mean kufr? Please know that I'm not belittling the severity of these sins nor am I commending them. But the point is whether it makes her a kufr and thereby does it invalidate the sister's nikah

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[ardianto]

So in the case where the sister is complaining about the difficulty of wearing hijab or if a sister makes comparisons and talks of the difficulty women have in doing wudhu when compared to men (due to issues of female discharge), this still does not mean kufr?

Complaints you mentioned above are normal complaints among Muslim women that can be occur spontaneously and inevitable. And actually it's happen because they believe that wear hijab and perform salah are wajib (obligated). If they don't believe that wear hijab and perform salah are wajib, instead of complain like that, they will remove their hijab and leave salah as simple solution.

As I have said, it's better if sisters who have problem like these train themselves to be ikhlas (sincere) in implement rule in Islam. If they sincere, then instead of complain like this, they will try to find solution like how to make they always comfortable in wearing hijab, and how to overcome female discharge problem.

If they cannot sincere, probably then they will fall into action that can be classified as kufr like questioning "Why should I wear hijab? Why don't I just remove it?" or "Why Allah made me as woman?".

Please know that I'm not belittling the severity of these sins nor am I commending them.

I agree with you. We should not belittling the severity of sins.

But the point is whether it makes her a kufr and thereby does it invalidate the sister's nikah

The complaints you mentioned above does not invalidates nikah.

[Aishath]

Does getting thoughts of wishing they were a man become kufr then. But this sister does not leave salaah etc but it was due to the burden she felt that being male is easier. And often it is the case where sisters are made to feel this way. But if she did get thoughts and questions like what you mentioned above, is this kufr then and what of her nikah

[Aishath]

Why should I wear hijab? Why don't I just remove it?" or "Why Allah made me as woman?". I mean if they start getting these thoughts or complaints due to the burden they feel they have and due to ignorance is this kufr

[Aishath]

Bump.... brother please help me In Shaa Allah.... I'm confused over these matters still. If someone makes comparisons between abaya and l Western clothing and state that l wearing an abaya during pregnancy would look like she just had sheets of black cloth thrown on her whereas Western clothing would be nicer. .... Are these kufr? And if she says she wants to take off her abaya during pregnancy so that she can wear Western clothing with her hijab....?

[Hulk]

Alhamdulillah the sister sounds like a good muslim who may just be a little confused, inshaaAllah she will find certainty through further knowledge. We have no say over the gender we are born as, the ethnicity, the family we are born into. These are things beyond our control, what we do have is the ability to think as well as the ability to make a choice.

I think that we as muslims should learn to be grateful for whatever we are given by Allah. No need to think about whether the cup is half empty or half full, at least there is a cup. Do you know how incredibly easy it is for a woman to enter jannah? It is very easy.

Rasulullah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, guards her honour and chastity, and obeys her husband, then she may enter Jannah through whichever one of its entrances she chooses.” [Sahih Ibn Hibban]

There is nothing wrong with "western" clothing as long as it does involve any haram like exposing one's modesty. Always keep in mind that Allah is Most Merciful. He knows whatever this sister might be going through better than anyone else.

[Aishath]

Brother things have escalated so much now. She is in fear that she committed kufr and wondering if her nikah isvalid. She is cautious of getting closer to her husband too. Has her fear and concern that she became kufr actually led to kufr... and what of her nikah.

[Aishath]

Please help. She can't let go of the fearin her heart and the doubt regarding her nikah.... She has a good husband Alhamdulillah who is being patient through all this but if she can't let go of the fear and of she can't come close to her husband them what happens

[Aishath]

Each time she is close with her husband she gets the fears of her nikah not being valid. ...

[ardianto]

How often she perform salah with her husband?

[Aishath]

She prays regularly but not with her husband as her husband goes to mosque

[ardianto]

I understand if her husband prefer to salah always in masjid although atmosphere of salah jamaah which husband is imam and wife is mamoon can make her feel like in the arms of her husband, and it can eliminate her doubt about her nikah validity.

Okay, my advice is, rather than always doubt about that she is commit kufr or not, her nikah is valid or not, it's better if she us her mind to think how to be the excellent wife for her husband. And I really suggest this sister to join in Qur'an recitation group with other women and learn more about Islam. In Shaa Allah, her motivation to be better wife and better Muslimah will fill her mind and will make this doubt being eliminated from her mind.

I notice, this problem happen because she has lack of confidence.

[Aishath]

Just got final clarification. ...These are some f the things that she had said 1. Complaining about hijab and abaya and making comments that they look like Black sheets of cloth thrown on 2. Complaints that women suffer more including from intimacy issues to wudu to the pains of pregnancy and labour 3. This sister has faced difficulties doing her salaat as her wudu process takes long and then waswas issues too. Sometimes she repeats salaah 3 times. In frustration she said that she doesn't like going to salat anymore but she did not give it up. In Shaa Allah she continued even though she wud pray two salaats close together. 4. More complaints about a job and not being patient. Commenting on how things dont hsppen etc. 5. Complaining about her looks She is filed with regret and is scared she committed kufr. But based on the able is it safe to conclude that whilst she had said some very sinful things she did not commit kufr and her nikah is In Shaa Allah valid?

[Aishath]

Bump...