We can't marry because of our race

[muslimah201425]

Assalaamu Alaykum,

Kindly advise of duahs. HHe's Arab and I'm not therefore his parents won't allow our union. They are very stubborn and we wish to have their blessings to get married.
thank you.

We are both Muslim and over the age of 30.

[mr moon]

Assalamualeykum sister I feel for you, I really do. I have been in a similar position where I found the perfect match for me, but my parents refused to accept due to her being older and her family not sharing the same ethnic background as my family. I was constantly trying to snap them out of backward cultural thinking where the ethnic background prevails over all other aspects of a potential suit....but it wasn't possible. I eventually had to either accept their judgment or marry without their concept. I had to choose the former. ..as my family would consider me marrying without their blessing as me cutting ties with them. I just fear and pray that i don't live to regret it. Regarding what you should read, I would advice you to ask for khair and if their is goodness in this matrimonial , then make it easy for you and make the marriage possible and change their hearts. You may also read the prophetic prayer: 'Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa zurriyatina qurrati ayun'

[Muhammad]

:wasalamex

May Allaah :swt: help both of you and grant you what is best for you in this dunya and the akhirah, Aameen.

It certainly is a good idea to ask Allaah :swt: for the best outcome and facilitating that for you. There are a number of general du'as both in the Qur'an and the Sunnah which encompass this in their meanings... it would be a good idea to use these regularly in our prayers and du'as :ia:.

If I can just add a correction - the du'a in the above post is part of a verse in the Qur'an, and the word should be qurrata:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّات ِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ ÙˆÙŽØ§Ø¬Ù’Ø¹ÙŽÙ„Ù’Ù†ÙŽØ § لِلْمُتَّقِ ينَ إِمَامًا

..."Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of the Muttaqun." [Al-Furqan: 74]

[muslimah201425]

Thank you both very much.

mr moon, I also hope that you wwon't regret your decision, but I believe if there is no Islamically valid reason to prevent the marriage then it should take place. I believe parents have no right to prevent such a union.

People judge too easily and we call ourselves Muslims, but we still want to punish people ourselves.

Wish you all the best.

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[Karl]

It is best not to rock the boat. You don't know how sour things can go. Life is not what is "Islamically" valid. It is give and take and forever politics. Be careful.

[ardianto]

:salam:

I am Indonesian, and being an Indonesian was not my decision, but destiny that had written by Allah. We could not choose in which ethnic and from who we would be born. I realize it, that's why I never regard other ethnics or races are lower or higher than me.

If everyone could realize it, In Shaa Allah, then there's no people who regard themselves as superior than other ethnics or races, and the problem like in your case would never happen.

Of course, there is no rule in Islam that forbid inter race or inter ethnic marriage. It's just cultural. But unfortunately, there's a bad habit among some Muslims which they use Islam to support custom and tradition, and later these customs and traditions considered as Islamic. This is why, not easy for them to change their customs and traditions.

My sister, I understand what you feel. But, always be patient, and always try to close to Allah.

[ardianto]

Not all Arab families forbid interracial marriage, actually. One sister in this forum who lives in UAE married Arab man although she is Indian.

[muslimah201425]

Thank you, brother Ardianto for stating exactly why I feel so cheated. Your post touched me and reminded me not to feel unworthy.