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parvezs27
08-25-2014, 03:09 PM
Dear All friends

Honestly, for the past few weeks I've developed interest in personal development, in being the Strongest Version of myself. During this process, I've read lots of books, and, I decided to read Quran. For the first time I got shivers down my back, as I read about Judgement Day and Punishment. I received hope when I read Allah is the most forgiving. Since then, I've become more close to Allah as I'm more focused and more peaceful than ever Alhumdulillah. I just want to stay under Allah's protection and live in peace with my family. I want to forget all my past sins and start fresh, I've turned 18 this year and inshallah I will stay away from these sins. I've experienced what it feels like after you've prayed, after you've connected with Allah, ya Allah I want to experience this forever, I feel like I'm bulletproof, I can walk with my head high in society and I don't fear anything except Allah's punishment.

But my friends, in these few weeks I've realised, our main source of income is HARAAM! Ya Allah, this burden. My parents own a Takeaway Shop, its small and does cover our expenses but the profit is very little. My Dad who is a chef and Mom housewife, have both been working so hard for the past year. 7 days a week with no rest day. I try to help as often as I can, I've also worked in boiling heat everyday and I know how hard it can be. But like I said, profit is very little compared to the hard work, therefore, since December 2013, my Dad decided to apply for a Liquor Licence. Also, because people here in Australia cannot eat food without some sort of Alcohol. Since December 2013, My dad has spent THOUSANDS of DOLLARS on this stupid licence, constructing a bar in the shop and ordering stock such as Beers, Wines. Back then I wasn't affected by this, I didn't fear Allah. But now, I shake and I get scared sometimes that our main income is Haraam, we are doing haraam things. We are carrying Alcohol, selling it, pouring it and serving it.

I've told my parents about the Curses Allah has placed on 10 people who associate with alcohol, but they say we are not consuming it, its only for business. My friends, its so hard to argue with my parents, because they are my everything in this world. They raised me, they care for me, they work 7 days non stop just so I can eat food, yet I can't just tell them all this is haraam, I'm living because of them and I can't have the audacity to tell them what is right and wrong. But, sometimes I feel like YELLING at them to pray, after work don't watch TV, pray ISHA, early morning pray FAJR, close the shop and pray ZUHR, ASR, MAGRHIB.

My friends sometimes I get the urge to move out somewhere else and make my own living, but I am the only child, I'll be ditching my parents who've cared for me for my whole life. My parents are so stuck in the business they can't make out time for Allah, they go around 11:00AM and comeback at 11:00PM, not a single prayer is performed. My parents can't fast anymore in Ramadan because the food must be tasted before served to customer. They're stuck in this frenzy. I'm stuck on whether I should continue living on this haraam income or go out on my own path under Allahs protection and make myself a HALAL living.

Any advice would be appreciated but honestly I wrote this to express myself.
Thanks friends for reading and taking out time,
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