Does Allah hate me?

[8392]

I believe in Allah and love him with all my heart. Most of my life, I felt alone and helpless. No one cared about me and my life was mess. That’s when I found Allah, every time I felt alone and worthless, I would think about him. Even though I knew my life was horrible, I was still happy because I knew that Allah had a better plan for me. The only thing keeping me together was knowing that allah was always by my side, but for the past year I feel like everything is getting worse and I still had hope but Just recently I wanted something so so badly. I told allah that if he appreciated even one good deed that I had ever done, he would give it to me. I wanted this incredibly and did as much Dua as I can. And allah didn’t give it to me. I have been crying so much that my eyes are swollen. Im sad that I didn’t get the thing I wanted but even sadder because I feel like allah gave up on me. I still love him so much, but now I feel like allah hates me. Why did he not accept my dua. It was one thing i needed desperatly. I know im a sinner and I have made mistakes, to be honest I shouldn’t of had so much hope, when I didn’t deserve it. I am just so heartbroken, and I feel like my life is over.

[greenhill]

Salaams,

I can emphatise with what you say and feel. Many times I have felt the same way. 20 years and things never go according to what is right. All I have prayed for is fairness and justice. For Allah to protect what is my rights. Did I get what is rightfully mine? NO! The abuse of the process of the law has seen that the corrupted people get away with murder.

All I can say to myself is that perhaps although it is mine, it may not be suitable for me. Ok I can accept it.. but why do I have to suffer 20 years?

Too many things I don't understand but that doesn't in the least mean Allah has given up on me. You should not feel that way because of disappointment.

Welcome to the forum. :D

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

Sis , Welcome here . Pl. remember , life is test for hereafter . So , pray with patience . Know that Allah knows what is best for us .

We must pass all tests we face in this world so that we can be blessed with Paradise in hereafter Insha Allah.

[MuslimInshallah]

My dear (please give yourself a name.You are worth a lot more than a number),


You use a lot of words that I consider red flags: alone, worthless, helpless, life a mess, no one cared about me, I shouldn't have had so much hope, life is over, one thing I needed desperately... and you think that Allah hates you.


I don't know much about you. But I do know this: Allah does not hate you. Allah Loves... and He does not Love people, according to their behaviour. But He doesn't hate.


I'm inclined to believe that He Loves you. Suffering doesn't mean that He doesn't Care. It means you need to learn something. (smile) suffering is a very good way of Teaching us many good things.


First off, you are not alone. Not only is Allah with you, there are other people out there who do care about you. You may not be aware of them. They may not know you (yet). But they are there. What you need to do is figure out how to connect with them. You need to reach out. And you have taken a very positive step by posting on this Forum. It is a little reaching out. And I will help you... as I can. (smile) I can't wave a magic wand and transform your life into a fairy tale, my dear, but in my own little way, I care for you.


Secondly, no human being is worthless. We all have value. We are Allah's Creation. And His Creation is Beautiful. If you have been cruel with others, if you have caused trouble between or for people, if you have sinned in a major way... ok, He doesn't Love those sorts of things. But the good news is... He is totally willing to Love your efforts to make amends and improve your life.


You have found Him...you have prayed to Him...you have tried. If this is true, He must Love you. Not because you have done everything right (we all slip sometimes), but because you are trying.


But, you know, just finding Him and expecting Him to transform your life into wonderfulness, isn't what this life is all about. We're here to learn some things, try some things, fail some things, and learn from our failures...and sometimes succeed, and then fail some more…and learn some more. On and on, until there are no more chances to learn.


(smile) So while we have this wonderful opportunity to learn, let's seize it and ask ourselves: what can I learn from my problems?


(smile) I would suggest that you do your homework! Make a list of the positives in your life (there are always some... whether it be the beauty of the sight and smell of the autumn leaves, the wild animals you can feed, a child's smile, the kindness of strangers, the joy of swinging on a swing...). Even if it is true that the major people in your life have not cared about you (and it happens...), there are usually people who come in and out of your life at important moments. Think about them.


Then look and try to figure out why you feel so bad. You say you are worthless. Did someone say this to you? Who? Why? You aren't worthless. If someone says so, perhaps there is something wrong with them. Perhaps they feel so bad about themselves that they dump alltheir negative feelings on you?


You might want to look at yourself: what is your pattern of self-beliefs? You could go to your library. Pull out all the books on psychology. Does anything speak to you? Any patterns? You could consult with a psychologist. They are horribly pricy, but you could perhaps see one long enough to get an insight into your problem. They might not tell you directly. So ask whoever you see (I would highly recommend you see a woman). Psychologists are not all-knowing gods, anymore than regular doctors. But they can give you clues and ideas.


You said you have prayed. But perhaps you have been praying for the wrong things? You said you were so lonely... that you needed something. I don't know if this is the case, but if that something was a man to love you, you should realize that there is not a man on this planet who can fix whatever is broken within you. Only you with Allah's Help and Guidance can do that. If you marry a man because you desperately need him... you'll probably end up in an abusive relationship. Because only abusive men require that a woman desperately need him (it means you'll tolerate his behaviour and he can feel secure in controlling you). Nice men want someone to share with.


Perhaps you need to ask Allah to Help you understand what is not working in your life. Ask Him for insight. And... again, do your homework.


You may be wondering: what does suffering teach? Well, if it is strong enough (that is, if you feel horrible enough), it can force us to break unhealthy patterns, look for answers, be more willing to accept solutions... and best of all, it can teach us the Divine Qualities, like compassion, mercy, forgiveness, love... but also strength, self-sufficiency, justice, firmness... (check out the 99 Names of Allah and their various translations)


I don't know all the details of your particular life, but I do know that the times we feel the most hopeless and helpless are the times that Allah is closest.We need to call out to Him, and make those life-changing moves that we otherwise probably would not make.


And then things will slowly improve. (smile) With ups and downs, but they do get better. With hardship come ease. Really. Just keep on your efforts to take control of your life... and keep your eyes open for the ease.


Hold onto Allah. Never despair of His Love. That's just the shaitan cruelly enjoying himself.


I hug you, my dear.

May Allah Hold you Gently, and Guide you into better days.

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[Alpha Dude]

Nothing wrong with having hope. Have endless and boundless hope. BUT, at the same time also accept that Allah is the source of all wisdom and everything happens for a reason. I.e. not getting what you want now could have caused you either deeni or wordly harm and hence why it was not granted to your or maybe this struggle you are going through now is meant to build your iman and character in such a way that you would not otherwise have had the chance to.

Allah listens and gives us what we need not what we think (in our limited capacities) we want.

[JakeTruthSeeker]

dont despair Allah loves you, he's given you the best gift of all, A Heart of truth.

Quran 3:159 So by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].

[BeTheChange]

Sister 8392 am sorry to hear you have negative thoughts and ideas about yourself.

Sister MuslimInshallah has posted some excellent excellent advice - please read sister's advice as it's 100% true and accurate.

I think we all need to remember that the perception we have of ourselves ultimately comes true. Our thoughts become our actions and our actions become habits and in turn, becomes our character and who we are. I think you need to clean your mind and heart from all these negative and ill-feelings.

I was listening to a lecture the other day and the shiekh said something important which i learnt from, which i would like to share with you. Our self worth and value is important in Islam. To think negatively and to belittle yourself is actually a sin against yourself. Try and work on your self-image and self-psychology as this is important. If you don't respect you then others will find it hard to respect you. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past. Today, the present is important.

Shaytaan has much experience in deviating us all from the correct path and trust me this is one of his tactics to lower your self-esteem and this puts you in a vicious circle where you don't want to better yourself as a Muslim because you think so bad of yourself and you probably think Allah swa won't listen.

When you make a dua think positively and think good of Allah swa as Allah swa responds to you as you see him. By not giving you what you desire or want maybe Allah swa thought this thing you wanted would not benefit you. I know 100% the duas that are not answered in this world are reserved as presents for us in the hearafter.

Hindsight is a valuable vision. Imagine the thing that you requested for could make your life worse than you think it is? imagine the thing you requested for deviated you away from Islam? The thing you think may be good for you may well be bad for you. We don't have the full vision or knowledge to know what is good for us so accept your situation and address your problems one by one.

Controlling your mind and your thoughts is VERY empowering - try it am sure you will be a different person. Have hope & fear of Allah swa.

Hope that helps in sha Allah and all the best. Stay strong and keep fighting the devil - don't let him bring you down.

[Zaynab Academy]

Heres a beautiful Talk by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed on

Allah's love for Creation

islamicspirituality.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Allahs-Love-For-The-Creation.mp3
please paste the link in your browser.

We hope and pray your confusion will be resolved

wassalam,
ma al ikram

Zaynab Academy Online

[Karl]

I believe in Allah and love him with all my heart. Most of my life, I felt alone and helpless. No one cared about me and my life was mess. That’s when I found Allah, every time I felt alone and worthless, I would think about him. Even though I knew my life was horrible, I was still happy because I knew that Allah had a better plan for me. The only thing keeping me together was knowing that allah was always by my side, but for the past year I feel like everything is getting worse and I still had hope but Just recently I wanted something so so badly. I told allah that if he appreciated even one good deed that I had ever done, he would give it to me. I wanted this incredibly and did as much Dua as I can. And allah didn’t give it to me. I have been crying so much that my eyes are swollen. Im sad that I didn’t get the thing I wanted but even sadder because I feel like allah gave up on me. I still love him so much, but now I feel like allah hates me. Why did he not accept my dua. It was one thing i needed desperatly. I know im a sinner and I have made mistakes, to be honest I shouldn’t of had so much hope, when I didn’t deserve it. I am just so heartbroken, and I feel like my life is over.

Have you got food and a place to live? If you do is that not enough?

[Signor]

I don't know much about you. But I do know this: Allah does not hate you. Allah Loves... and He does not Love people, according to their behaviour. But He doesn't hate.

"Allah says, 'I am as my servant expects Me to be, and I am with him when he remembers me. If he thinks of Me, I think of him. If he mentions Me in company, I mention him in an even better company. When he comes closer to Me by a handspan, I come closer to him an arm's length. If he draws closer to Me by an arm's length, I draw closer by a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him. If my servant comes to Me walking, I go to him running."

(Al-Bukhari)