My little sister doesn't want to live with a pagan family

[Freya]

This is a big issue for me since my little sister converted to Islam. She has been adopted and she is going to go with me back to my home country to meet her family the first time. My dad is an atheist but both of us are devout pagans along with my mom. My sister has been ranting over this forever and I just don't know how to tell her to shut up and enjoy her family.
Not being a Muslim I do not know how to appeal to her because we live on separate mental spheres or perhaps even worlds.

So in relation to the Islam faith how can I appeal to her to shut up and stop making a deal about her family being pagan?

[Snow]

Beliefs are (mostly) personal. You can't really change her belief, just as she can't change yours.
The end thought/reasoning is always personal.

Does her beliefs really matter at the end of the day? Unless she/you are being oppressive.

[greenhill]

There is a surah (verse) on this topic,


109:1to top

Sahih International
Say, "O disbelievers,

109:2to top

Sahih International
I do not worship what you worship.

109:3to top

Sahih International
Nor are you worshippers of what I worship.

109:4to top

Sahih International
Nor will I be a worshipper of what you worship.

109:5to top

Sahih International
Nor will you be worshippers of what I worship.

109:6to top

Sahih International
For you is your religion, and for me is my religion."

Works for both parties.

Hope it helps.

[Futuwwa]

Let her have her own personal space which you don't impose any of your pagan ways onto. Apart from that, there's nothing more you really can do.

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[YusufNoor]

This is a big issue for me since my little sister converted to Islam. She has been adopted and she is going to go with me back to my home country to meet her family the first time. My dad is an atheist but both of us are devout pagans along with my mom. My sister has been ranting over this forever and I just don't know how to tell her to shut up and enjoy her family.
Not being a Muslim I do not know how to appeal to her because we live on separate mental spheres or perhaps even worlds.

So in relation to the Islam faith how can I appeal to her to shut up and stop making a deal about her family being pagan?

actually, your sister would have had an obligation to obey her parents in all areas other than religion. she does not have to obey anything that goes against her religion. if your parents care about her, they should know and understand this. everything should be agreed to before hand. no one should do anything to make anyone uncomfortable. let her pray in private and you keep your paganism to yourself.

if you choose to barrage her with your paganism, then those doing the barraging are in the wrong. May Allah give your sister the patience and wisdom to deal with it, and any forgiveness she might need if she loses control.

ma salama

[Freya]

Let her have her own personal space which you don't impose any of your pagan ways onto. Apart from that, there's nothing more you really can do.

Well the issue is that my sister is trying to impose her religion on me. I am just ignoring her and I have never imposed my religion on her at all. I admit I tease her about it by waving pork sausages in her face sometimes (really funny stuffy, ;D). Other than that I have never paid her religion any attention to warrant it any refute nor have I felt a need to convert her. Pagans are not known for converting, we are more known for assimilation and syncretism.

[Freya]

actually, your sister would have had an obligation to obey her parents in all areas other than religion. she does not have to obey anything that goes against her religion. if your parents care about her, they should know and understand this. everything should be agreed to before hand. no one should do anything to make anyone uncomfortable. let her pray in private and you keep your paganism to yourself.

if you choose to barrage her with your paganism, then those doing the barraging are in the wrong. May Allah give your sister the patience and wisdom to deal with it, and any forgiveness she might need if she loses control.

ma salama

Well she has not met her parents yet but does she have an obligation to obey her big sister?
Nobody not even me is trying to do anything about her religion, my parents where aware of it when they adopted her. I am just trying to avoid getting whacked on the head with a Koran because my sister feels upset that her parents are pagans. I feel happy that she is a Muslim because me nor my parents have anything in common when it comes to religion.

[YusufNoor]

Well she has not met her parents yet but does she have an obligation to obey her big sister?
Nobody not even me is trying to do anything about her religion, my parents where aware of it when they adopted her. I am just trying to avoid getting whacked on the head with a Koran because my sister feels upset that her parents are pagans. I feel happy that she is a Muslim because me nor my parents have anything in common when it comes to religion.

Actually, your parents are not her parents. they are substitutes. Islam only recognizes biological parents. a Muslim would (or should) know how to properly raise a child. i don't know how your "sister" came to be adopted by non-Muslims. as you are the adopting family, then you must understand the position that she is in. she may be a little immature and may even "whack you on the head with a Qur'an". i'm not saying it is proper behavior. her zeal for her Din (religion as a way of life), may outstrip her knowledge and understanding. you could invite an Islamic scholar to meet with your family. he/she could aid in figuring out how to make this work.

i would invite you to learn more about Islam. you could then help your little "sister". the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, came to "perfect good manners, enjoin good and forbid evil". you could discuss good manners. that would help the child. she could understand that "rudeness" isn't a part of Islam. one should understand her apprehension, though. if everybody decided that politeness was the key for getting along, then you have a good starting point. your "sister", as the youngest, needs for you to be polite, patient and understanding. if you are, you can teach her those things. if your family desires what's best for your "sister", then you should help her learn and grow in her faith.

as for misbehaving, that's what children do. if she needed to be adopted in the first place, then she lacked parents to help her grow. you can't adopt an orphan and think they are going to be perfect.

as a Muslim, your sister may fear that you will all end up in the hellfire. she may not have enough knowledge to teach, but she may have genuine love that makes her frightened for you. if you can teach her good manners, she may be able to rethink her methodology. in her mind, eternal hellfire vrs a bump on the head, may be an easy choice. prepare to get bumped! she has good intentions. she just doesn't know how to properly deal with the situation. have your dad find a scholar. ask him how to prepare his abode for your sister. he or she could also tutor your sister.

take a gander through the forum, here. you will see a tendency to "whack people over the head". it kind of happens. there are lots of things you can do to avoid it or lessen the impact. but all that depends on just how good a "sister" you want to be. it's up to you.

ma salama

[Snow]

Pagans are not known for converting, we are more known for assimilation and syncretism.

That is why there are so few left that are defined as pagans?
Not counting the Abrahamic religions, atheists, Hindus and Buddhist (arguable if it is a religion or a philosphy) - pagans are almost non existent