format_quote Originally Posted by
Freya
Well she has not met her parents yet but does she have an obligation to obey her big sister?
Nobody not even me is trying to do anything about her religion, my parents where aware of it when they adopted her. I am just trying to avoid getting whacked on the head with a Koran because my sister feels upset that her parents are pagans. I feel happy that she is a Muslim because me nor my parents have anything in common when it comes to religion.
Actually, your parents are not her parents. they are substitutes. Islam only recognizes biological parents. a Muslim would (or should) know how to properly raise a child. i don't know how your "sister" came to be adopted by non-Muslims. as you are the adopting family, then you must understand the position that she is in. she may be a little immature and may even "whack you on the head with a Qur'an". i'm not saying it is proper behavior. her zeal for her Din (religion as a way of life), may outstrip her knowledge and understanding. you could invite an Islamic scholar to meet with your family. he/she could aid in figuring out how to make this work.
i would invite you to learn more about Islam. you could then help your little "sister". the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, came to "perfect good manners, enjoin good and forbid evil". you could discuss good manners. that would help the child. she could understand that "rudeness" isn't a part of Islam. one should understand her apprehension, though. if everybody decided that politeness was the key for getting along, then you have a good starting point. your "sister", as the youngest, needs for you to be polite, patient and understanding. if you are, you can teach her those things. if your family desires what's best for your "sister", then you should help her learn and grow in her faith.
as for misbehaving, that's what children do. if she needed to be adopted in the first place, then she lacked parents to help her grow. you can't adopt an orphan and think they are going to be perfect.
as a Muslim, your sister may fear that you will all end up in the hellfire. she may not have enough knowledge to teach, but she may have genuine love that makes her frightened for you. if you can teach her good manners, she may be able to rethink her methodology. in her mind, eternal hellfire vrs a bump on the head, may be an easy choice. prepare to get bumped! she has good intentions. she just doesn't know how to properly deal with the situation. have your dad find a scholar. ask him how to prepare his abode for your sister. he or she could also tutor your sister.
take a gander through the forum, here. you will see a tendency to "whack people over the head". it kind of happens. there are lots of things you can do to avoid it or lessen the impact. but all that depends on just how good a "sister" you want to be. it's up to you.
ma salama