Salaams all,
Hope everyone is OK.
I’m going to have a little rant in this post, so please feel free to look away or ignore. I’ve posted about this topic a few times before some of you might be thinking “not again”, if that's the case, please just move on to the next topic. I am really struggling with the whole situation, I feel Shaytaan has been playing with my mind and at times I have ended up having such terrible thoughts, questioning Allah/Islam and other mixed up things.
(If the moderators think this post is anti Islam or putting new Muslims off, please feel free to delete it. I got into bother with an administrator once before for being very anti Islam).
It’s the issues with the neighbours. I’ve read Hamzah’s very helpful post about trials and tribulations (thank you so much for going out of your way to post all that extremely useful information) and I found it very useful. I understand better about why Allah tests us and the reason for it. Shaytaan put evil thoughts in my head when I posted back in Ramadhan where I was saying things like “Why does Allah always test me and no one else?”, “Islam does not make sense”, “Why do good things happen to nasty people?”, “I’m going to stop following Islam” etc. I never acted upon them but I was so fed up at that time I was ready to explode.
I’ve had a bit more contact via email with some Imams and Mufti’s (when they have had time to respond) and the general consensus is to carry on being patient which is what we have been doing. My Mom keeps saying we will get our reward in the hereafter and that Allah will show them one day. My Mom is elderly and quite poorly. Each time the neighbours slam their doors, it scares her but she remains patient and says things will get better. When they slam the doors late at night, she again says be patient and it will get better. Where she gets her patience from, I don’t know. I wish I had the patience she possesses.
Just a few questions I have which I hope you learned and intelligent people will be able to help me with:
- Does anyone know why the neighbours go out of their way to make our life hell? I don’t expect you guys to have any answers because I am sure you are all wonderful Muslims who understand and follow the rules of Huquqool Ibaad. But just put yourself in their shoes for a moment, why would you slam each and every door that is linked to your neighbours wall continuously throughout the day, from early morning until late at night, especially when you know they go to sleep early? We have not done anything to offend or upset them. Trust me, if there was, they would have knocked our door down and would have told us by now. We are a quiet family and we do nothing to annoy anyone. My Mom won’t even let us hoover until the afternoon in case anyone is still sleeping at either of the neighbours houses. The crazy thing is the father from next door actually prays the Quraan every morning, and he even comes to the Masjid from time to time, so it's not like he doesn't understand Islam and is a complete heathen. So why would you go out of your way to trouble your neighbours? The time I contacted the local Imam and he did a sermon before Jummah about Huquqool Ibaad, the father from next door was at the bayaan and the Imam clearly stated how grave a sin it was to trouble one’s neighbours and the consequences of it, i.e. you may end up in hell for it. However, it made no difference and he particularly goes out of his way to slam all the doors. His wife (aged late 60’s), and 2 children (aged early 30’s and late 20’s) are exactly the same. We’ve tried having words with them but it makes no difference. Just this Saturday gone by, they were slamming doors until 1am and then started hovering that morning at 8am. The bayaans the Imam’s do at our Masjid are in English, Gujerati and Urdu, so they don’t have any excuse for not understanding what is being said to them.
- A further question I have. We normally go to bed at about 10pm but the door slamming goes on until 1am. The noise is quite loud and it wakes me up so I have started watching movies/documentaries online. I know this is a sin, but is it really my fault? If they did not make noise, I would happily go to bed at 10pm, pray Surah Yaseen, Surah Mulk and my various tasbeehs and fall asleep. However, it is not possible. I can get into bed at 10pm and try and pray, but the door slams would just throw me off whatever I was praying and get me annoyed that I would end up cursing the neighbours. I’ve tried listening to nasheeds and tilawat through headphones but these nasheeds are normally softly prayed and the the slams are much louder, again which makes me get very wound up. So would I be able to pass the sins on to them? It's not really my fault I am having to do these things. As I have said, if the neighbours were quiet, I would happily have fallen asleep come 10.30pm. What else is there that I can do? Does anyone have any ideas?
- Another thing which has been bugging me for quite some time. Why does that family have so much strength? They don’t sleep until about 1am and then are up at 8am, sometimes even earlier. Is there something they are doing which I should be doing? No one in their family is ever ill. The story at ours is totally the opposite. My Mom is quite poorly, I have a brother who is also quite poorly. Sometimes Shaytaan plays tricks with my mind and I end up thinking whether our lives would be better if we were nastier people. I know life in this world is not the be all and end all of it, but my life completely sucks at the moment. I take sleeping tablets but rarely get any sleep as I am always on edge wondering when the next door slam will be. I just end up getting so frustrated at times and that's when I start thinking crazy thoughts / Shaytaan starts playing tricks with my mind. Sometimes I don't even want to go home from work as I just get so stressed out at the thought of all the noise. I've even had nights when I have cried because of how much it gets to me. And there have been times when I have thought if I just jumped out of my bedroom window and killed myself, that would be an end to all this torture. Please don't think I am being dramatic. When you have people like this living next door to you, constantly slamming doors and being anti-social, it really does grind you down.
4. Please can you all make dua for me and my family. I know my Mom is putting on a brave face and is being really patient but I know it is affecting her quite badly. If you were to look under the eyes of anyone in our house, you will see huge bags due to lack of sleep. Also, does anyone have any special duas or prayers that I could pray to make life easier? I know calling the Police would be a really good option, but my Mom is against this and say being patient is the best thing, but I am not sure how much longer than this can go on. As I have said previously, 3 of the 4 of the people next door have criminal records and have been in and out of prison, so this is obviously worrying as they could make our life even worse than it is. And I can just imagine what the local newspapers headline (all the Police stuff is in the local newspapers too) would be "Anti-social MUSLIM family making life hell for their neighbours". I really don't want to tarnish Islam and Muslims any more.
Jazakallah for reading my essay if you have got this far and thanks to anyone who might be able to help with suggestions and advice. Please don't shout at me if I have said anything you don't agree with regards to Islam. I've not said/done it on purpose, I just don't know if I am coming or going and sleep depravation can have a devsatating effect on one's general health and mental health. Please don't tell me there are people much worse off than me in the world because I already know there are people being tortured and killed, and though my problem is nothing compared to them, it's beginning to make me feel suicidal.
PS. We can't sell the house as everyone loses interest once they know who live next to us. We could go to the Police but the family in question are a nightmare and would make our life even more hellish than it is now. The only option I guess we have is to buy somewhere that is affordable and then put this house on the market. The only affordable places without having sold the house are in non Muslim areas so I would not be able to go to a Masjid unless I drove there and back.