i am disappointed from my life...help..

[syedasad557]

i am totally disappointed from my adverse circumstances... :(

i am currently a student of fsc and i am so much sad from my life....
i had a close friend who was a girl and i really respected her and shared my all things with her but unfortunately they shifted to another city and due to changed environment, she changed and ignored me and made fun of me on fb...
One of my class fellow made my life worse...
the profession of my father is not so much famous therefore i am inserted by all the people... :exhausted
is it my mistake..??if it is then i am ready to bare the pain of punishment..
my class fellow who made my life worse was my best friend in early classes but now he thinks me his worse enemy..
he always tries to insert me in front of people and also on facebook..in addition to it he changed my friend's mind and now all of my friends hates me and make fun of me...
what should i do i m fully disappointed.. :exhaustedimsad

[The-Deist]

i am totally disappointed from my adverse circumstances... :(

i am currently a student of fsc and i am so much sad from my life....
i had a close friend who was a girl and i really respected her and shared my all things with her but unfortunately they shifted to another city and due to changed environment, she changed and ignored me and made fun of me on fb...
One of my class fellow made my life worse...
the profession of my father is not so much famous therefore i am inserted by all the people... :exhausted
is it my mistake..??if it is then i am ready to bare the pain of punishment..
my class fellow who made my life worse was my best friend in early classes but now he thinks me his worse enemy..
he always tries to insert me in front of people and also on facebook..in addition to it he changed my friend's mind and now all of my friends hates me and make fun of me...
what should i do i m fully disappointed.. :exhaustedimsad

Why do you have friend(s) that are girls?

[syedasad557]

Why do you have friend(s) that are girls?

only one of my friends was a girls...all others were boys..

[The-Deist]

only one of my friends was a girls...all others were boys..

Well you shouldn't have friends who are girls...

Allahu Alam

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[ardianto]

is it my mistake..??

:sl:

If someone mock you then it's not your mistake but his mistake which he can't respect other people.

I understand if you feel annoyed, sad, or angry when other people mock you. But young bro, you don't have to hate them because hatred will burn your own heart. Still be kind to them. In Shaa Allah, later they will realize their mistake and start to respect you.

:)

[M.I.A.]

Painful ends can be the start of great new beginnings..

Study hard.

...read it on Facebook somewhere or something..

Thanks internet.

[syedasad557]

thank you all for your help....can i seek help from islam...

[syedasad557]

Well you shouldn't have friends who are girls...

Allahu Alam

she was just a friend and i respected her so much...but she didn't imsad

[Muhaba]

There is this poem by Alama Iqbal one stanza of which says to the eagle, do not be upset (or afraid) of strong wind because it is only for taking you higher. The same with difficulties in life.

If someone is hurting you, avoid them. If they are hurting you on fb, block them or unfriend them.

Don't befriend girls because it is haram.

Don't look at arbitrary factors for respect. Focus on your studies and try to get top grades so you can enter a good college.

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

Your ex-friends mock you? Well, from here your can find new friends (from all over the world) whose will respect you (as here are many good brothers).

:statisfie

I wish you all the best.

[The-Deist]

she was just a friend and i respected her so much...but she didn't imsad

Well it might be that Allah subhaanahu wa taala showed you what happens when you take on something haram.

Maybe he (subhaanahu wa taala) wanted to save you from an even more painful punishment.

Take it as a lesson.

And in shaa Allah don't befriend any girls in the future.

Plus in shaa Allah you got us brothers of IB.

Allahu Alam

[naba]

Assalamalecum,if you have a clean heart and have no intentions of hurting others, you are the strongest person in this world.don't worry about others, strive to plz Allah I.e 5 time salaah, daily Quran recitation, b good to parents and people around you.Allah in ch 29 v 69 ofQuran says if you strive in way of Allah will open pathways for you, Allah in ch 3 v 160 of Quran says if Allah is with you none can forsake you, if Allah foesakes you then there is who who cansave you, let the believers put trust I Allah

[Abdullahh]

Go to Masjid. Find some Muslim male​ friends. Get to know an imam. Do something productive.

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum Syedasad,

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a hard time. Betrayal is painful (and you've been betrayed twice, it seems!). And being mocked is painful. And being cyberbullied is hard to cope with, because it seems to reach into your very home.

(meditatively) I'm not sure, because I don't know you really, but perhaps you might consider reassessing how you choose friends? There are nice people out there, but sometimes, unconsciously, we choose people who are not good to us. (smile) But this is easier said than done, of course. Perhaps you could focus on doing things that feel good and right to you. (twinkle) I'm surprised Ardianto didn't suggest taking up a sport. Because doing something physical with a new group of people might be helpful for you. Build your self-confidence. (smile) Not everyone is a champion soccer player, but there are so many sports you could try. If there is anything you enjoy doing (swimming, table tennis, karate… whatever) that gets your heart rate up and your blood pumping, it is likely to lift your mood. And if you could do it in fresh air and sunlight, that can help, too.

You could also try finding a hobby of some sort. Doing something that you enjoy with other enthusiasts could help you find a different set of friends. Archery, stamp collecting, furniture making… there are so many possibilities of interesting, useful and enjoyable things you could try out!

(smile) And of course, you are always welcome to come and chat with us on this Forum!

May Allah, the Gentle, Help you to have the strength to find His Bounties in this world.

[syedasad557]

There is this poem by Alama Iqbal one stanza of which says to the eagle, do not be upset (or afraid) of strong wind because it is only for taking you higher. The same with difficulties in life.

If someone is hurting you, avoid them. If they are hurting you on fb, block them or unfriend them.

Don't befriend girls because it is haram.

Don't look at arbitrary factors for respect. Focus on your studies and try to get top grades so you can enter a good college.

thank you..till now i will never make friends who are girls...thank u for supporting me..

[syedasad557]

after searching for sometime on the internet to get the solution of my problem...i found that it was my mistake,i was going in wrong way...i found this ayat-e-mubarik "They said,"Oh! our lord we wronged ourselve,if you will not forgive us and have mercy upon us,we will be among losers"" Al' Bakarah
thank you for helping..

[ardianto]

I see "blame the victim" attitude in some posts. Syedasad came to this forum because he was bullied by his friends, but then he got bullied again by blaming him because he has a female friend without notice that mostly of people who bully him are males. Now he start believe that his problem is punishment for him. Punishment?. People insult him because his father profession, and this is absolutely not his mistake.

From what I've noticed in his posts, Syedasad is just a boy who expect to have friend and he would be happy if someone accept him as friend, no matter male or female. But unfortunately they see him as a boy who can be an object for making fun, not as a friend who should be respected.

If anyone want to remind him about relationship with opposite gender, just remind him. But not with the manner of judge him.

[ardianto]

after searching for sometime on the internet to get the solution of my problem...i found that it was my mistake,i was going in wrong way...i found this ayat-e-mubarik "They said,"Oh! our lord we wronged ourselve,if you will not forgive us and have mercy upon us,we will be among losers"" Al' Bakarah
thank you for helping..

You must always introspect yourself because you may make mistake without you aware. But do not easy to blame yourself. If people insult you because your father profession, that's not your mistake.

Yes, there are always people who like to make fun of the other. But it doesn't mean there are no people who can respect the others. What you should do now is try to be patient. You don't have to angry to people who make fun of you. You don't have to hate them. Remain humble to anyone. In Shaa Allah, then you will get new friends who can you your true friends.

Don't be disappointed with your life because then you might blame Allah as the creator of life. Always be grateful with what Allah has given to you. In Shaa Allah, it will build your strength to change your life to be better.

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum Syedasad,

(smile) I respect you because you are willing to look at yourself and see what you may have done incorrectly (I don't know what it is, but you feel it to be so), and try to modify your behaviour. This is a good thing, because there are very often things that we can do to help ourselves.

On the other hand, I agree with Ardianto. How others chose to behave is not your fault. If they mock you or betray you, that's really wrong of them.

Should you talk with young women? Frankly, I don't see how you can look for a future spouse without talking to women. We need to respect limits, but unmarried people need to talk a little if they are going to find a spouse. In the time of the Prophet (SAWS), men and women were not segregated as we see today. They interacted in day-to-day life, and at the masaajid. (twinkle) Men might even try to peek at unmarried women to see if they were attractive to them!

I do believe that married people need to be more circumspect. But I also believe that unmarried people have a need to mix a little more. And if Syedasad had an interest in a young woman that was within Allah's Limits… I do not think this is wrong. But I do believe that her behaviour in humiliating him was wrong.

May Allah, the Compassionate, Guide us to reflect on His Oft-Used Names: arRahman and arRahim.

[ardianto]

I'm surprised Ardianto didn't suggest taking up a sport. Because doing something physical with a new group of people might be helpful for you. Build your self-confidence. (smile) Not everyone is a champion soccer player, but there are so many sports you could try. If there is anything you enjoy doing (swimming, table tennis, karate… whatever) that gets your heart rate up and your blood pumping, it is likely to lift your mood. And if you could do it in fresh air and sunlight, that can help, too.

You could also try finding a hobby of some sort. Doing something that you enjoy with other enthusiasts could help you find a different set of friends. Archery, stamp collecting, furniture making… there are so many possibilities of interesting, useful and enjoyable things you could try out!

Assalamualaikum, sister.

Yes, I was active in sport competition. Sport indeed, made my mental stronger to face challenge and difficulty in life. Competition trained me to be wise in facing the public. When I made bad performance, spectators mocked me, but I always respond it with smile. When I made good performance, spectators praised me, but I always tried to be humble.

But Syedasad case is more to inter-personal relationship which he feel disappointed because his friends make fun of him. There is difference between laughed at by spectators in competition who they are actually just other people, and laughed at by people who we know personally and we regard them as friends.

When I was young I had many friends. Yes, there were few people who seemed very kind to me, but behind me they made fun of me, usually "Ardianto is easy to be cheated", even some of them said that they just took advantage from me. I knew it from my others friends because there was no internet in that time.

However, I never respond it with angry or made fun of them. Even when I met them I pretend I didn't know what they said about me behind. Alhamdulillah, it made my image was always positive in front of people.

I hope young brother Syedasad can take a lesson from my experience. And yes, your advice to active in sport is good advice because it can develop his confidence and his ability of team work that will affect his ability in inter-personal relationship.