New Muslim Dating website being developed. Feedback wanted !

[muslimhud]

Creating a new Muslim dating website that’s completely free and ID verified with absolutely no false profiles. Will be live in the next 3-5 months
After my negative experience with several dating websites I wanted to do this so people have a real service to turn too.
I would like to hear about peoples experience on current dating websites and any feedback people would like to see incorporated into this new site.
There needs to be an efficient way Muslims can engage the opposite sex with noble intentions without the stigma associated with traditional mediums.
Your feedback would be helping a non-for-profit cause and would be greatly appreciated !!

[Scimitar]

Muslim + Dating = Oxymoron.

Scimi

[Insaanah]

As Brother Scimi has already succinctly alluded to, Muslims are not supposed to date.

There needs to be an efficient way Muslims can engage the opposite sex with noble intentions without the stigma associated with traditional mediums.

There are a number of Muslim matrimonial sites already, such as purematrimony, which try to do things in as halal a way as possible, for Muslims to be able to find spouses, within the framework of their faith.

[shafat10]

At the end of the day, our parents choose spouse for us, so are even any matrimonial sites even necessary at all? (No offence).

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[muslimhud]

I understand your reservations and you make a valid point. As stipulated in my initial message we are in development. We are trying to make the site as Islamic as possible without alienating young western Muslims with the pressure of matrimonial websites. There is a real need that as a community we cannot ignore, that need is helping young western Muslims network respectfully for other Muslims looking to get married. I myself had allot of trouble finding a wife and the whole process took over four years until eventually I met someone. In the meantime I spent allot of money on matrimonial websites which were poorly designed and rubbish. I also used Muslim dating websites run for profit which had a much younger demographic and allot more profiles. But allot of the girls on these profile were using fake pictures as they were too embarrassed to show there real pictures. I want to create a website where people can get to know someone with minimal communication. I want to put my faith in the fact these people will use the site as networking tool and it will be designed to facilitate that. Ideally I would want people to contact the parents of their prospective partner and meet them the first time this way. But people need to be comfortable and lead into this scenario slowly. Hence the name of the site after the prophet Hud who lead the good people away from mountain. Excuse my incorrect terminology it was my mistake referring to the site as a dating website because it is definitely not.
I am not the only person which had problems meeting people for marriage there are allot of other males and females in the same boat. We as a community have a duty fulfil a need when it arises and there is most definitely a need in this instance. Most sites used now are ran by non-Muslims and ran to make a profit. I want to change that, this network/marriage site will be completely free, modern, and facilitate gently a Islamic approach to meeting suitable spouses. I am injecting a substantial amount of my own money so young Muslims don’t run astray because we chose to ignore a simple need. I suffered and don’t want others to suffer as I did.
So like I said we are open for ideas and suggestions. We want the site to be true to Islamic law but also appealing to the young generation. The user of the site need to feel that their in control with gentle nudges on facilitating initial contact and sharing photos.

[muslimhud]

My parents tried to find someone for me and nothing eventuated. I didn’t take offence to your statement. But you need to critically think about the scope of your answer to such an important topic. Thought needs to be given especially to western communities where young adults refuse their parents help. Do we ignore these people who are victims of their environment or do we lead them to the right path using our wit. If we do nothing this will get enticed and who do we blame in that instance them or us for doing nothing.

[shafat10]

My parents tried to find someone for me and nothing eventuated. I didn’t take offence to your statement. But you need to critically think about the scope of your answer to such an important topic. Thought needs to be given especially to western communities where young adults refuse their parents help. Do we ignore these people who are victims of their environment or do we lead them to the right path using our wit. If we do nothing this will get enticed and who do we blame in that instance them or us for doing nothing.

Am sorry I couldn't read everything brother, but this part was a bit confusing where you said "they refuse to take their parents help". I am not much in to Western culture, I mean, how the Muslims lead their life there, but as far as this statement is concerned, don't you think we should change they way they think? I mean, if your parents are ready to help you and can help you, why wouldn't you take their help? It's rather a Western culture where people become independent and don't take their parents help (as much as I know), but it shouldn't be a Muslim culture as well. We are encouraged to respect and support our parents. So if they want something good for us, we shouldn't necessarily refuse. Please correct me if am wrong because I am not much in to Western society, hence there's a possibility I didn't understand you. Please clarify in thay case. :)

[jameelash]

wat do u mean by dating. it is chatting with opposite sex .isnt it.ok suppose one doesnt like he or she may go for for te nextnd so on. gradually they may enjoy chattiing with nonmahram..totally haram.not allowed in islam.its better a site open for parents to
parents orparents with conerned groom..if the concernedparents nd the concerned boy satisfied the next priocedure of meeting can be arranged.it is the duty of parents to look for a groom fr their daughter..shabas wen they wanted to marry a girl they always approached
her family members. just bcause some find difficult find a good girl doesnt allow to change islamic law..
may Allah guide us in the right path.aameen

[greenhill]

I'm reading this and I really don't know what I can contribute, because I chose my own wife. My mother did try to match make me, but I couldn't handle it.. . at that time. I had set my own. Very 'westernised' concept. If I couldn't get married, I suppose I would consider my mother's recommendations. Failing which what other routes are there?

Seeing as I found my spouse and now married over 20 years, I'm not in any position to advise as I never had that problem.

But a site that has parents and the individuals involvement could be interesting.

Besides, in today's society, we are rapidly losing the close knit communities of the past, where people knew each other better than the mere acquaintances we have today. I do believe that finding a spouse can be a difficult journey for some. I have seen many go through it.

On another point, would letter writing between non marram be considered haram? There's absolutely no physicality at all to lead to sin.


:peace:

[Abz2000]

My sister went on a few dates to restaurants when the family was looking for a fitting spouse, she took my brother in law and i think neice, and the prospects also took elders from their families, i know it wasn't ideal to take the bro in law, but in a country that is not governed by the laws of Allah - not a lot is ideal, especially for a female lawyer arguing Godless law in court and at the office everyday.

You could maybe look at building a matrimonial site while requesting that mahrams are present? They're useful for the interrogation part too since they can usually ask all the blunt questions that a prospective bride would feel uncomfortable asking.