Who Is More Important? Mom Or Wife?

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all,

I have a question for you all. Once you marry, who becomes more important? Your Mom or your Wife?

If your Mom wants you to do something for her, say for example, go to the mall to do some shopping for her, but your Wife says no, who would you listen to over the other?

[ardianto]

Wa'alaikumsalam

Both are equally important.

If my wife forbade me to go shopping with my mom I would see her reason. If she was afraid of being alone at home, I would ask her to go shopping with me and my mom. If she was sick, I would tell my mom that I could not go with her because I must accompany my wife at home. But if my wife was in OK condition and she stayed at home with her family member, I would tell my wife to let me go with my mother.

Do not put your wife over your mother, and do not put your mother over your wife. But give them equal position.

:)

[hisnameiszzz]

Thanks ARDIANTO.

My Mom is the most important thing to me at this moment in time. When I get married, I think my Mom would still be the most important thing to me. Not sure if that is good or not.

I don't want to be like my brother or my uncles who are all under the thumb, and whatever the wife says they do regardless of whether it hurts of affects their Mom or not.

[keiv]

As they say, a happy wife is a happy life :peace:

Keep the mama happy too though.

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[ardianto]

I don't want to be like my brother or my uncles who are all under the thumb, and whatever the wife says they do regardless of whether it hurts of affects their Mom or not.

This is what would be happen in the future if a boy was not taught to become independent person who can make decision and take responsibility by himself.

[hisnameiszzz]

This is what would be happen in the future if a boy was not taught to become independent person who can make decision and take responsibility by himself.

Oh I think my brother was taught everything. He is an Aalim. LOL.

[greenhill]

It's a hard call.

I don't think anyone can guess, double guess and pre determine anything like not going to allow yourself to be controlled by your wife.

As much as you are the same person, you react differently in different company. Some people you will manipulate, and some people will manipulate you. It is dependent on how the relationship evolved.

One thing I noticed in my fairly long time being in the marriage circle, is that the wife can nag. It is then how the husband deals with it. And the wife has many other alternatives too or combination of alternatives. So, really it is up to the husbands to be firm but fair, be consistent. From the outset, it must be understood that the husband cannot be made to choose between his mother and his wife.


:peace:

[ardianto]

Oh I think my brother was taught everything. He is an Aalim. LOL.

Not everything is taught in Islamic knowledge. Through fiqh I learned about halal and haram, what I may do and what I should not do in business. But I learned about manage a business, not from Islamic knowledge, because business management is not part of Islamic knowledge.

When I still married with my late wife mostly of beneficial things which could make my marriage run well were not the things that I learned from Islamic knowledge because Islamic knowledge does not teach these things. In example, I knew that I must give her support when she was suffer from cancer although there is no part in Islamic knowledge that mention about how to treat wife who get cancer.

So bro, only learn about Islamic knowledge is not guarantee that a man will be a good husband.

[Abz2000]

Better not to choose but be just,
Sometimes people have level headed selves, mothers and wives,
Some have vindictive selves and considerate mothers and wives,
Some have vindictive wives and considerate mothers,
And some have vindictive mothers and considerate wives.

Some wives hate mother in laws just by principle,
And some mother in laws are naturally mean to their daughters in law,

U jus gonna have to be just bro, but remember that the missus has to be more patient - since mom's already hacked it once.